What do you feel guilty about?

What do you feel guilty about?

(remember, at Anonymousmom.com when you respond, you do NOT have to leave your name, email or link to your blog… but if you want to – feel free)

41 thoughts on “What do you feel guilty about?

  1. anonymous

    I feel ultra guilty about two things all the time. One, I spend too much money. I’m not a saver, I’m a spender. I feel horrible about it. Two is that I don’t keep the house as clean as I should. Being a SAHM I should be cleaning every day and I don’t. Both of those keep me up at night 🙁

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  2. Anonymous

    You know I think at some point we can all relate to these things; I know I can. I have a special needs child & I do the best I can, don’t beat your self up, life is too short to lose sleep over $$$ or housekeeping habits. A lived-in house is a happy-home (I am sure your house is not filthy)…does your family go without things they need because of your spending? Probably not, but guilt will drive you to an early grave & I am sure they don’t want that. Seek out counseling if it is causing so much guilt you can’t sleep, you will definitely be happier with yourself in the end.

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  3. Anonymous

    I lose my temper with my two-year-old son. I get angry with him but it’s usually because we’re running late because of me.

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  4. BurfordWife

    Yelling at my children to hurry up… and then realising it’s not their fault I’m running late.
    When I had my morning sickness (20 weeks of it!) I forgot other people in my house were hungry simply cos I wasnt and thought that my children were being naughty and weren’t giving me the space I needed etc. I now realise it was because they were hungry, they were tired because their meals were all out of sequence.
    I feel guilty about not looking after my family porperly and then blaming all the resulting problems (tantrums and fighting etc) on them; when all I had to do was look after them better.

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  5. Anonymous

    My biggest guilt is food. I’m a recovered anorexic BUT after having 2 kids in less than two years I’m developing old bad habits (restricting, binging sometimes, purging, calorie counting, obsession with weight). So when I eat something that isn’t totally healthy, or I feel I’ve eaten too much I have extreme guilt (and anxiety to the point that I sometimes purge which then makes me feel guilty for that too).

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  6. Danielle Ellerman

    I FEEL MOST GUILTY WHEN I DON’T GIVE MY KIDS WHAT THEY WANT. MY HUSBAND TELLS ME THAT THEY ARE SPOILED AND I DON’T NEED TO GIVE THEM EVERYTHING THEY WANT. I WAIT ON THEM HAND AND FOOT. I FIX THIER PLATES AND BRING IT TO THEM, BUT MY HUSBAND IS JUST AS SPOILED, I BRING HIM HIS PLATE TOO!! AM I DOING THE RIGHT THING??

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  7. Anonymous

    I fuss at my kids too much. Sometimes I’m griping and I’ll think of a friend of mine who is dying of cancer and how she is limited on time with her kids.
    I don’t do things I should with my family.
    I haven’t been honest with my husband about how I feel. I’m so unhappy. I want to leave but I can’t make it on my own.
    My life is really messed up right now.

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  8. Someone Somewhere

    I feel the most guilty about cheating on my husband around the time our son was conceived. I spent the entire pregnancy wondering who fathered my son. Even though I’m pretty sure he’s my husband’s, every once in a while I still wonder and think, “what if he’s not?” It still hurts me every single day to even think that….

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  9. Mother

    I feel guilty because I haven’t been able to give my daughter many of the things that other kids have. I’m building my business now, but these are times that can’t be replaced. I’m doing the best I can, but it still hurts. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not deprived. And not being able to afford TV hasn’t been a bad thing. Now we don’t want it. But you want your kids to fit in. It’s important.

    At least she understands the value of money. She’s got a good head on her shoulders. Maybe it’s been a blessing in disguise.

    I used to worry when we had money that she was getting to spoiled and I used to feel guilty about that!

    Sheesh…middle of the road would be nice.

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  10. Anonymous Now

    How about feeling guilty about having an affair with your oldest sons’ school mate? I feel more guilty towards my son, than my husband, since I know my husband has been cheating on me numerous times. I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but this young guy makes me feel awesome. It’s hard to explain.

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  11. Anon

    I cheated on my husband with this guy that I’d been friends with for 18 years.

    I fessed up and my husband forgave me, but I never forgave myself.

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  12. Anonymous

    I feel guilty for not feeling guilty that I cheated on my husband. I’ve tried for 5 years (we’ve been married for 6) for him to help me fix our marriage and I always was told that there wasn’t a problem. In February he told me that he was disappointed in me because I’ve let myself go since getting pregnant with our daughter (she’s 3). Wow!!! So I decided to get back in contact with one of the guys I dated before my husband and I started dating. He’s the one “I wonder if…” guy in my past. Although it had been almost 7 years since we had contact, I often thought of him and wondered how different my life would have been had circumstances been different and I would have stayed with him. Well, we’ve been chatting for over 9 months now and I’m VERY much emotionally connected with him. We have also slept with each other once since we’ve been reconnected. I don’t feel the least bit guilty which really bothers me. I guess it’s because I don’t really feel married. Until recently, we (my husband and I) only had sex 3-4 times a year!!!!!! Now we’re having much more sex, but I still am not emotionally connected or in love with him. I try so hard to open my heart to him, but every time I do that he criticizes me and the doors to my heart shut for him.

    My lover and I have talked about our future and I thought we had one for sure. He even wants to have another baby (something my husband does not want). But I discovered something a couple of weeks ago: he’s been seeing someone else in addition to me (and his wife) and telling this other woman the same things he’s been telling me. She also lives about 1000 miles from him…well, she DID until she moved near him this past weekend. She even left her only child behind for this guy. Crazy!! Of course he’s telling me that the two of them don’t have a future and that he wants a future with me…that he’s been in love with me for 9 years, but how in the heck am I supposed to believe that???

    So this is my life. And all I want is to be loved and to love. It seems this is a dream that won’t ever come true for me.

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  13. Anonymous

    I too, like many women on this site, feel guilty about an affair that I had with my old high-school boyfriend. We first started emailing eachother about 8 months ago. At first it was nothing, but than we started calling eachother. eventually, I ended up traveling many many hours to see him. That was probably the dumbest thing that I could have done. We ended up spending an entire night together. Although I feel guilty about the affair, I don’t…does that make sense? For the first time in about 4 years I felt like myself. I felt like for 1 night, I was with the greatest person in the world.

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  14. L

    I can’t begin to tell you how good it feels to know that there are women out there just like me. That there are women who are feeling guilty about the very same issues. I have to say that reading the stories about the affairs is heartbreaking. I too had an affair and it leaves so many of us bruised and broken. However, my spouse knows about my affair and also knows that his action lead me there…and no, that does not justify it. My husband and I were actually inspired by the whole thing, that we have started working on falling in love with eachother all over again. But I have to say, the sting of the way I felt with the man I had an affair with, is still there. My heart shatters everyday, and my heart broke for all of you when I read your stories. I know the excitement that a new relationship can bring, but I also know the heartache that is left when things “don’t work out” I have taken my situation, and I have been writing a book about this very topic. I am telling my story. I really feel that it is an issue that goes untalked about…like it is not even real. Writing this book has been the most scary thing I have ever done, but reading all of these stories on here, made me realize how much women need to know that they are not alone in these situations and that things like this can be overcome.

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  15. Anonymous

    I love my husband but we have problems just like everyone. The main one is that I am not statisfied with our love life. Things are a bit too “quick” for me and after 12 years of being together I have finally realized that I get mad at him for that. It then in turn makes me want to not sleep with him, huge cycle that leads to sex one a month or so (and lots of bitching from him). I have been trying to fix it now that I understand what is really in my head. I have also been sleeping with my best friend (a man) for months. Not all the time just every once in a while to take the edge off (we thought we were in love for a little while but have finally come to terms with everything and know we are just really good friends). Sleeping with BF makes me not be so mad at my hubby and willing to work on things. Somehow I don’t have any guilt about this (for the most part, sometimes I have huge guilt about it). I’ve been trying to decide if I want to leave my DH (not for other guy he is married also) but just realized that I really do love him and want us to work out. I just don’t get everything I need, physically or emotionally, from him. My BF helps a lot in this department but I think the sex thing is winding down on that also. Now that the “excitement” of the whole thing has calmed down I am finding a few faults with him in that department (I know I sound like a total bitch, I’m not I swear lol). If I could just take the stamina (he truely can go all night before he releases, DH is working on 2 minutes) from my BF and give it to my hubby I would have the perfect man in bed!!! Sometimes I wonder if I ask too much to be married to the “perfect” partner for me. My DH is so wonderful in so many ways but this issue and a few others drive me nuts. I guess the bottom line is that no one is perfect and I need to accept that.

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  16. Anonymous

    I love my boyfriend with all my heart I want to marry him….BUT We don’t have sex! If we do it is usually only about once or twice a month for a total of 5 min! I feel bad b/c My boyfriend has a really bad back and it hurts him to have sex… and it doesn’t bother him at all we don’t have sex! I have been going NUTTS!! So I started having an affair with a friend…. I don’t want anything but sex with the Friend and the friend doesn’t want anything more than sex! I am just so scared my Boyfriend will find out! I love my boyfriend but I have to have sex! I know it sounds bad, but I am just in a better mood if I am getting sex often.

    Also I have been smoking pot and I love it! But once again I really don’t think that my boyfriend would like it at all! And I don’t want to lose him or my daughter!

    My boyfriend is really great and is a wonderful man and father to our daughter whom he adopted… she is from a previous relationship and you could never tell b/c she now has my boyfriends last name and he has always been daddy to her 110%

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  17. Anonymous

    Sometimes I feel guilty if I haven’t spent enough time with the children (if I have to clean the house, or if that day I played a little online).

    Sometimes I feel guilty for not keeping in touch better with friends. Life gets so busy with my own hubby, kids, home that I just don’t have time and don’t really care.

    Sometimes I feel guilty that I resent the fact that I want sex more than my hubby. Wish his sex drive was stronger. The sex is phenomenal when it happens, he really takes the time to please me but it doesn’t happen as often as I’d like.

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  18. Anonymous

    I feel guilty for all teh times I’ve “crossed the line”. I’ve been with my husband for many years and throughout those years I’ve definitely crossed the line on numerous occasions. Then I try to convince myself it didn’t happen so I can pretend like it didn’t and move on. But I know what I’ve done and sometimes I feel terrible for it. And sometimes I feel justified.

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  19. Anonymous

    I lost myself in a moment of passion. Secretly after my husband cheated on me physically,emotonally etc…i have felt the need to get back a him,to get even. Though i never cheated on him via actual sex,i did kiss someone. I had to do this for me. I have had too many cheat on me. And,now because of this kiss,with no emotion attached,cold hearted and distant. I just had to see what tthe big deal was. I feel bad because i do love my husband but,im too tierd with all of his stuff. I can never trust him again,but he doesnt know of this kiss. The cheated became the cheater and my specal place in hell awaits me. And the worst thing of it all is,even with my guilt…im strangely not sorry.

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  20. Anonymous

    I feel guilty because I think I’m selfish. I wish I was the type of person who really spent time thinking about others feelings but I’m not. I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings but I wish I was one of those people who really stopped and thought of others and how I could brighten their day or lift their spirits. I especially wish I was like this more with my kids and husband. I wish I could think less about what I was feeling, what’s making me feel sad or unfulfilled and think more about others.

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  21. Anonymous

    I cheated on my husband with two different guys. I feel so bad because my husband loves me and is a great dad. He works so hard to give my daughter and me everything. He’s such a great person as a friend and father. But I can not connect with him sexually.

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  22. Anonymous

    I’m not attracted to my husband since I had my son because he gained over 50 lbs. when I was pregnant. I don’t even want sex anymore, and I’m slowly realizing that maybe sex made our marriage work and I don’t think i love him anymore, and he won’t listen to me when I try to tell him that. I tried to tell him that I can’t say I love you anymore, and he started crying.

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  23. Cinderella

    The big things that i guilt trip over are my anger issues. Used to have a really nasty temper and a little bit of it is still there. When i’m tired (which is always), i lash out when things don’t go smoothly- and it’s those whom i love the most that i lash out at (husdand, kids) and they don’t understand. My husband works a lot, plus is working on his degree so this leaves me to fend for myself. Sometimes i get resentful even though this was a choice i made (staying at home raising the kids). i’m so tired.

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  24. Guilty

    My husband is a trucker, I have cheated on him one time and about half a year later i told him because I felt like I needed him to know the truth, so since then we’ve had good days n bad days, but the bad days get soo bad at times that im ready to give up but i love him soo much. he forgave me, or so he says but i still cant forgive myself, i still can not believe how this happend and why it happend, im not a cheating type of person, i do not believe that once a cheater always a cheater, it happend to be and i never wish to cheat or to be cheated on in my life… I just dont know how to overcome my guilt. I feel so horrible about it that i start suspecting and accusing my husband that he cheats or cheating on me since hes a trucker. I hate this i want my life back to normal back to the way it was, well ofcourse with a changed husband now that hes so much sweeter at times…

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  25. Evolving door

    I feel guilty that my relationship of almost 11 years ended . He had an affair and left me and the kids for her . I feel like I drove him into the arms of another woman by not treating him good enough or loving him enough though I feel I did the best I could at the time when I look at my kids and think about how hard this has been on all of us I think I could have done better even though my life is much better now I can’t shake this guilty feeling like I could have been this happy with him if I would have tried harder if I treated him as good as I treat my current boyfriend he would have never cheated on me .

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  26. *A*

    I feel guilty for cheating on my husband. We have been married for 4 yrs n i have cheated on him twice. The first time it was wit a guy out of town that was working in my town for some company. i regreat him soooo bad not only bc i knew he didnt give a shit abt me but bc his pennis was really small, the only good thing was his tounge he drove my vagina crazy!! The second time was wit a guy from my same town tht works near me n my husband knows him. I regreat him the most bc hes stupid n inmature i cant stand seeing him!!! My husband is the best he gives me everything i want the only problem wit him is tht he drinks a bit!!

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  27. Timothy

    Im getting divorced in a month. I am curently living alone in my house. I met a woman an we have become great friends. The woman and I like each other alot but feels guilty that Im still married on paper as she feels that she is berfriending a married man. WHAT ADVICE COULD YOU GIVE ME

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  28. Anonymous

    I am 28. I have cheated on my husband three times during our marriage. I cheated right after we met and then told myself I wouldn’t do it again, Four years went by and then again I cheated. I cheated with the same person I cheated with four years before that. I then cheated with another person that I have known since middle school. Most recently was with someone else. It has been two months again since I cheated and the guilt comes and goes. Last night I got drunk and called up one of them and left a message asking them to call me on my cell. Dumb move on my part. He is a cop and most of the time he doesn’t return my calls. I am worried he will call me back. I have to stop this kind of behavior before it destroys my family. My husband and I have three kids together and a step daughter. I don’t know what is wrong with me? Why do I keep doing this? I don’t find my husband physically attractive anymore but I don’t want to ruin the marriage for the sake of our children hating me or growing up in a broken home. He is a good man who loves me very much. He is grouchy a lot and something is missing, but I know my track record and I have always been a cheater. Am I looking for attention, love, etc? Part of me wants to open up and talk to someone or I just have to learn to stop doing this and work on this marriage. The guilt I feel is awful or is it the fear of being caught? I am afraid the cop will call and my husband will find out. I don’t usually call anyone unless I have had to much to drink. I feel like vomiting over this and it is such a small town I live in that I am afraid I will bump in to this cop with my husband.

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  29. jeen

    I should feel guilty about my 2 affairs…but i do not at all…
    Honestly they have kept me going thru out this awful time in my marriage.
    The affairs give me something to look forward to, some one who can give me
    physically what i am so craving emotionally…..These guys were amazing in bed…said all the right things and want nothing in return….
    my “husband” is my 4th child, his therapist says i should find a way to treat him like a student in my Special Needs class…..and he is so needy emotionally that it makes me gag…..I have tried many ways to let him know i want it over but he cannot hear me….his therapist says it cause i am not putting my words into more concrete language which is what he needs in order to really understand me and things regarding our marriage…..i say she needs
    to marry him and together they can be as concrete as they want……
    Thank god he is mechanical and does my car maintenance and helps pay the bills…..and yes i am still thinking of continueing or having more affairs….they are fun….and yes i know i need to just up and leave, but why should i leave the house where i pay most the bills and do most the work….oh well….

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  30. Jaime

    I feel guilty when I take time for myself. Whenever I do anything for myself without my children. Be it dinner with my husband, a few hours at the gym, even when my my mother-in-law offers to take the children to give me a break, I feel guilty. But I also feel guilty because they make me crazy and I feel so overwhelmed much of the time. So it’s a double edged sword. I don’t want them with me all the time, which makes me feel guilty, and I feel guilty when I do get a break from them because I’m not with them. It makes me feel crazy.

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  31. Guilty

    I’m terrified, tomorrow I’m going to fess up to what I did. Everyday I feel like barfing and I can’t take it anymore. The thing I’m most scared about is after I tell. that person will hate me. Plz someone help me. Someone tell me everything will be fine!

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  32. Anonymouse

    I feel guilty because I’m in a relationship with a guy I thought I had feelings for but I don’t have any feelings for him and he is acting so nice I don’t know what to do and I feel it’s my fault for leading him on and accepting a relationship.

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  33. Brenda

    Hey for all those moms who feel guilty about not doing house work (probably b/c you dread doing it right?) I used to be the same way until I found the perfect solution. A year ago I got a basic Kindle for my birthday and it took me a few months to realize that I could have it read the books to me. So I make a little pouch for it (with fleece fabric and a glue gun 🙂 that I can tie around my waist. I plug in some ear phones and listen to books while I clean. It’s so much easier to motivate myself to clean now and when I’m cleaning I hardly notice I’m doing it. I actually feel a lot better about myself b/c I’m accomplishing something and not feeling guilty. It’s so worth the money, I’m not even slightly exaggerating when I say it’s changed my life!!

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  34. Anonymous

    I feel guilty because for six years of our marriage, I had an addiction to alcohol that I hid from my husband.. I would drink when he was out of town, and I was home alone at night (after our daughter was asleep). I finally had my last drink in March this year, four months ago. I can’t even celebrate my sobriety with him because I feel so guilty about being dishonest with him all this time. What makes it worse is that he has been eight years sober, and recovered from his own alcoholism before we een met/married. So it was exremely important to him that alcohol was not a part of our lives, ever. We discussed this before marriage and alcohol was not an issue with me so I happily agreed at the time. That is why I kept it secret for so long. I knew he would be sad if her ever found out.

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  35. Anonymous

    I secretly fantasize about what life would be like with my old boyfriend. I picture how we would reunite after so many years apart, what our life would be like together, our home, our sex life… I often wonder if he was my soulmate and think about what might have been. I’ve even looked him up online… yet, I’m married to another man.

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  36. Anonymous

    I am 32 weeks with my 4th child and I feel guilty as I didnt really want this baby. My first three kids are with my first husband and Im pregnant with my current partners baby. we were only together for 3months and I felt like I was pressured into falling pregnant by him. he was so keen to start a family ASAP and I was just so in love with him i just wanted to make him happy. Now towards the end I am feeling all overwhelmed about labour again and scared that Im not going to love this baby like I did when my other three were born. You know that moment when they put bub on your chest straight after birth and that instant feeling of love, what if I dont have that again. I know my partner loves me he says he does and I have told him how I feel and now I feel worse that I did tell him and that he feels worse for ‘making’ me have a baby.

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  37. waca

    my husband fool who’ve been married five years, have been about 7 men, do not have children, and do not feel self-conscious or regretful.

    do not want children because I feel that I would ruin his life and the circle would be repeated.

    I think I’m happier being a woman without children and only with my husband.

    he is not interested in having children who already had, so that way I have no pressure. I see the life of my sister who has two children and a husband who has cheated several times, hell she does not say but we all realize.

    hate her so fat because I know he feels inferior, takes refuge in the Catholic religion much, in which a couple of years ago entered fully because I think she has a internal vacuum

    I’m using a translator, I’m from mexico for if something is not clear.

    greetings and encourage women there is no other option

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  38. Julie

    I feel guilty when I get angry with my two year old. Most of the time it’s because I’m hungry or tired and she just wants to learn about the world in ways that happen to be messy. I need to accept messy.

    I also feel guilty whenever I threaten my two year old. I should never have to use threats. Sometimes the threats seem like perfectly reasonable descriptions of consequences, but deep down it still feels wrong. In a stressful situation, “If you touch the stove while we’re cooking you can’t stay in the kitchen with me” turns into “Don’t touch the stove or I’ll close the kitchen door with you on the other side!”

    I also feel guilty about how I’m handling her constipation. It seems that no matter what I do it ends up badly. I hate seeing her so upset and I really want to get rid of the constipation but I just don’t know what to do anymore. Whether I focus on it with a potty routine or leave her alone, she still holds it in for too long and ends up so unhappy when it comes out. Today I tried too much and threatened and yelled and probably made the whole thing so much worse. I feel so awful I can’t sleep now.

    Reply

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