Were you a virgin?

Were you a virgin when you got married?  If not, do you wish you
would have been?

(remember, at Anonymousmom.com when you respond, you do NOT have to
leave your name, email or link to your blog… but if you want to – feel

55 thoughts on “Were you a virgin?

  1. Just Me

    Sadly no, I was never taught the value of purity or what God thought abuot it. I would go back in a moment. I would do anything to forget!

  2. Anonymous

    Yes I was. My mom had five kids by the time she was 21 (and had to get married when she was pregnant with #2). THAT wasn’t going to happen to me!!! My husband and I were both virgins and it’s a beautiful thing knowing we saved ourselves and share with only each other.

  3. Anonymous

    Yes, both my husband and I were virgins when we were married. It made for an interesting first few weeks, but I’m glad we did it the way we did.

  4. Anonymous

    no, I was 6 months pregnant when we got married. I can’t wish to have been a virgin because I would not have my sweet child now.

  5. BurfordWife

    We were both virgins. We were each others first relationship. We both feel that this is a very special thing.
    The wedding night was very awkward, but also very special. We don’t have anyone else to compare with.
    We heard alot of people saying just before we got married ‘ what if the sex isnt good?…. you’ll be stuck with it!’ We don’t know what other peoples sex life is, but we know OURS is fantastic! We are deeply in love and I think thats all you need to make LOVE.

    The only thing I regret is wasting my first kiss on someone who was just a friend. This is very hurtful to my husband, whenever the subject comes up he’s very quiet, or will leave the room. If I hadn’t wasted this first kiss, it would close a lot of sadness and jealousy in our relationship.

  6. Anonymous

    We both lost our virginity to eachother, but before we got married. I do wish we would have waited though. We were engaged whe we did it. What we had those few months before the wedding is what I wish we had the first few months of marriage, and beyond. I think it would have made many things better in our relationship had we waited until our wedding night. That’s another thing, our wedding night didn’t feel like a wedding night. 🙁

  7. Anonymous

    No, but I absolutely wish I had been. 🙁 I think a lot of specialness was lost and I missed out on something big with my husband that I can’t ever get back.

  8. anonymous

    No, and I’m glad I played the field. I got to see what was out there and now I will never ever wonder if someone else is better. I’ve been with the best and I’ve been with the worst. When I got married I knew exactly what I wanted in a sexual partner, and I married him 🙂

  9. anonymous

    Yes, as far as I knew at the time. But no, as I realized down the road that I had been raped in high school. Very sad situation, and I have a lot of troubles in this area. But, my hubby and I have stayed together! That’s encouraging.

  10. Anonymous

    I was not a virgin. My (not ex) husband and I had a 7 month old son when we got married and had both had other partners prior to eachother. I do not regret my decisions one bit. They’ve made me who I am today.

  11. Anonymous

    I was not but I wish I had been.. I really didn’t know anything about sex though. I am happy that my husband wasn’t though…. He taught me everything I know about sex and know exactly what I like and what to do..

  12. Anonymous

    Nope, but I REALLY wish I was!! I made some really DUMB mistakes, mostly when I drunk, even tho that’s not a good excuse. I wish I had something special to share w/ my hubby instead leftovers…God has forgiven me but the memory is always there.

  13. Anonymous

    i wasn’t but he was. back when we were dating, it got brought up once. i felt like i needed to be honest with him. i was never afraid that he would “judge me” for not being a virgin, but i felt he deserved to know the truth, especially because he was saving himself for marriage. we talked about it one time and have never mentioned it since. i wish i had been a virgin when we were married, but my husband has never made me like i was any “less” for decisions that i had made prior to dating him. i’m a lucky girl.

  14. Anonymous

    I was a virgin, but my husband was not. He was married once before me and had saved himself for that wedding night. I’m glad he knew what he was doing though, because he is very gentle and understanding and attentive! He may have come on too strong if he was a virgin too.

  15. peeking in

    I wasn’t a virgin, neither was my husband. Though my husband considered me a virgin, (I had 6 partners before him, the first three of them were rapes and two were long-term relationships that I felt obligated to put-out for, and one was ‘just for fun’. The ‘just for fun’ was me trying to get this guy to marry me, I was soo young and stupid!) Anyway, my husband and I talk about EVERYTHING in our lives and our pasts when we were dating and he has said he felt I was a virgin on our wedding night because I was so nervous and he was the only man I had had honest/emotional sexual encounters with. No acting like everything was fine and them going home to fall apart, now after almost 10 years I look back and agree with him. Even though I wasn’t technically a virgin I feel he was right that I was emotionally one, though some what damaged. I don’t reget it because what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.

  16. anonymous

    Hmmm… well we lived together for over a year before we got married, so no! I’m glad I wasn’t though. I don’t think he would have even considered marrying me if I was. Sex is pretty important to him… not so much to me. We both had multiple sexual partners before each other… I’m also probably younger and from a different generation than some of you on here.

  17. Anonymous

    I wasn’t, although my husband was my first and only. We were dating when I lost my virginity. MY husband is wonderful, but I was very young and wish I had experienced more relationships before settling down.

  18. annie

    look, im 21, i have 2 kids. 2 wonderful daughter ( by the same man ) and we plan on getting married. So to that question, i was not a virgin but somedays i wished i was just for the simple fact, from my previous relationship when i was 16, i had a left over, my wonderful son that i dont have anymore due to Adoption. But all i can say to my kids is, ” please hold ur virginity and if someone really loves you, they will understand ” Peer Pressure is a pain i tell u. EVERYONE DOES IT, is what i heard it school. I just wished that i could change everything!!! ( except my hubby and my 2 girls and my son. The past is what i would change, before i met my hubby. )

  19. Amy

    Wow … I guess I’m from a different world! When I was first married, no, I wasn’t a virgin. I don’t regret anything, though, I definitely wouldn’t be disappointed if my first partner had never been LOL My first husband and I decided not to have sex until we were married, he was a virgin. I shouldn’t have married him at all … maybe if we’d have had sex it would’ve been the push I needed to call it off. But, either way I was married to him. Now I’m married again and obviously I wasn’t a virgin. Sex is important to both of us, though, I don’t think anything would be different now if I was a virgin or not when we got married. As for my son, I won’t tell him not to have sex. Sex is important and THAT is what I’ll tell him. I’ll tell him that having sex for the sake of sex isn’t fulfilling and I will hope that he’ll wait until it’s someone special … and I will be very clear on why he should need to be safe.

  20. Anonymous

    I’m not a mom but I stumbled across this website. It’s very interesting!! Thank you all for sharing your views. I consider myself a virgin – or as someone else posted “a virgin but not innocent”. I do profess to be a Christian but it’s very hard. I’ve heard somewhere around 75% of Christian men are not virgins when they get married. Well, marriage isn’t in my near future and I have a high sex drive. I had been thinking “what if I wait all this time and he hasn’t even saved himself for me?” But reading some of these posts of regret is giving me a point of view I’m not getting from the world. Thanks ladies. It’s encouraging to know that no matter what kind of mistakes that are made when we’re young, you can overcome them and be wonderful mothers and wives — my ultimate dream.


    No I wasn’t my husband wasn’t either Our son was 5 months old and he is my second son my hubby’s first but it is like this you test drive a car before you buy why not test drive the man before you drive it?

  22. Anon

    I wasn’t. Neither was he. My husband and I had sex the first night we met. We got married after a year and a half od dating that began that same night. Who said they dont buy the cow?

  23. Anonymous

    Of course not. I’m glad I had other experiences. There’s nothing wrong with playing the field before you get married.

  24. Anonymous

    I was a virgin when my husband and I were married 1 1/2 years ago. I thought he was a virgin too, until the truth came out last night. I’m crushed that he lied to me for so long. I never would have married him if I had known. I feel as though a jagged knife has been pushed into my heart and it is slowly being twisted…

  25. Anonymous

    I was a virgin when I got together with DH. But he thought and still does think I had slept with 4 others.

  26. Anonymous

    I lost my virginity with my now hubby when we were engaged. I’m glad we didn’t wait until our wedding night. The first time was painful yet wonderful. Our wedding night was fun. I felt comfortable with him and was able to dress up in fancy lingerie, there was no pain and it was the best wedding night I could have asked for. I did wait for the man I was going to marry though.

  27. Anonymous

    no I wasn’t and neither was my husband. I wish in a way that I would have been but theres a reason for everything and thats just that.

  28. Anonymous

    I was not a virgin but I married my first so I guess it doesn’t bother me. I can’t see what difference it would have made to wait, at least for us. We have been together for almost 21 years and married for almost 16 so we’re doing pretty good.

  29. Lynda

    Yes, I was a virgin and so was my husband. We were each others first relationship and first kiss. Unlike some of the others, our first night together was fantastic! It wasn’t awkward at all, we had an amazing time and we both felt very comfortable with everything. 🙂 So it is possible to be a virgin and have an awesome time on your wedding night. 🙂

  30. Anonymous

    Yes, we were both virgins and like the previous poster, our first night together was fantastic! A few weeks ago, my husband asked me a question:

    “What do fornicators (sorry, this is one of my favorite words!) do on their wedding night?” and I answered, “The same thing they did before … I guess nothing really changes for them (aside from being married).”

    The answer to this question is different for different people (as witnessed above–some people wished they waited while others are happy they did not), but I think the idea behind it, is an important question to ask yourself when considering whether you want to wait for marriage or not.

  31. Jessica

    Yes, I was. And so was he. Were were each others first everything. I would do it all over agina. And just for the record, just because you are a virgin does not mean sex is! painful or ackward.

  32. Anonymous

    No, neither of us was. I wouldn’t have changed that. I will never wonder about the what if’s or the wonder what else there is questions.

    I’ve had bad, I’ve had great. My husband was/is somewhere in the middle, but in the end, that wasn’t what mattered the most to me. Sex is important, yes, but it’s not everything and now that I’m older, I say it’s not even in the top three of what makes a successful marriage. I’ve been married a very long time now and I realize how many other important and meaningful ways there are to be intimate, other than just the sexual act.

  33. Anonymous

    I was 8 months pregnant when I married my first husband…I had just graduated high school and felt forced into the marriage ( I already had 1 daughter from a previous relationship.) We did not last long.

    With my now husband we got married 2 weeks before our 2nd (my 4th) was born.

  34. La Preciosa

    I wasn’t but my husband was. My reasons were things that happened when I was a child which caused me not see sex the same way as other girls for a long time. but after i gave my heart to God, He cleansed me, and I asked Him to make me feel like I was a virgin on my wedding night. And you know what, He did! I was nervous, jittery, excited, happy, joyful, and felt completely whole and purified by God and able to give myself to my husband without any baggage. Praise God! Our love life is wonderful and I’ve never looked back. There is NOTHING that God can’t do!

  35. Anonymous

    My first fiance and I were virgins but he pressured me into giving him my virginity so I did because of our soon to be wedding but sadly we are not together anymore and I regretted it a lot then two of my best friends held me down in two different occasions so I developed a hatred for sex.Now I have finally met the right guy but sad to say I can’t even look him in the eyes and promise him a normal wedded night even though he told me its OK with him,I must say it is a very precious thing to have and anyone who doesn’t miss it on that special night doesn’t know the value of it.

  36. Anonymous

    I was pregnant with my second when my 1st husband and I got married. And I was pregnant with my 4th when my 2nd husband and I got married. so…no 🙂 And I don’t regret it at all…try before you buy

  37. Anonymous

    I’m not married, I’m just a teenager. But I was a little confused as to what to do about sex before marriage. As of the moment, I’m a virgin. But I’ve been confused as to when to give myself to a guy. Nowadays, people hav sex before they know if they even like each other. I’ve always known I wanted to wait until I’m in love, but reading these comments made me realize I should wait for marriage. I’d really want my husband to be a virgin too, but it would be ok if he wasn’t, as long as he didn’t pressure me into anything. So thanks to all these moms and other married women 🙂

  38. Anonymous

    I lost mine to my hubby before we got married but I already knew he was the one before it happened so I dont regret it at all.

  39. Anonymous

    No, but my husband is the only man Ive been with. I saved myself for the one, but didnt wait till we were married. I do wish I would have, but we got married three months later so it isnt much of a difference.

  40. Anonymous

    We were both 23 when we exchanged virginity (she took mine, and I got hers in return) on our wedding night. Even though we had progressed to “everything but intercourse” before we married, it was rather lousy sex – in my eagerness and inexperience, I hurt her more than necessary. But it was an extremely significant and meaningful thing for both of us.

  41. anonymous

    No, and I told him about it before we married, and he was furious. He thought of breaking up with me, not so much that I wasn’t a virgin, but that I had a sexual relationship with an African-American man.

  42. Secret

    No i was not a virgin when i got married.

    I had my first son when i met my husband and when we got married he accepted my son and myself. He is the only father figure to my son and he says he is the dad. I love him so much and we recently had our biological son together. He is a great dad to both of my boys and treats them the same even though the first is not his biological son. My husband was not a virgin when we met or even got married. He has been with two other people prior to me and it was when he was in the military. He said he waited in high school and even after to find the right women to marry and lose his virginity too, but I guess he got tired of waiting when he was in his 20’s he lost it to a random girl he doesn’t even know her first name. He was on base and I could not believe it … We went to the same high school and never met not even once
    i wish he would of waited for me and i wish i woulda waited too

  43. sad

    I will marry soon and I am not one. He is one and we are 45. I never got over that terrible time and so I may decide not to get married even though he doesn’t hold it against me.

  44. Anonymous

    I was a virgin but my boyfriend (now husband) was not. I regret it; I feel like something that was special and meaningful for me was, for him, a complete non-event. I felt pressured into it because he was more experienced and wanted ‘more’ (ie, sex) from the relationship. It was kind of horrible, actually. I think,looking back, the ideal really is to BOTH save it until after you’re married.

  45. KW1980

    I wasn’t a virgin, and neither was my husband. I don’t regret it, or wish differently, because its kind of like buying a car without test driving it first lol. I’d rather know we have chemistry then be “stuck” with someone without the same appetites or desires as me.

  46. anonmom

    I wasn’t a virgin when I got married. I did lose my virginity to my husband 6 months before we got married. I knew it was wrong, but I can’t change the past.

  47. Mari

    i was a virgin when i was 18yrs old but some stupid ass boy back then raped me in high school i was always the kind of girl who always told my self that i will wait for the right one but unexpectedly it happened… i told him to please stop numerous times and he just forced me and shut me up with his dirty hands…
    ever since then i was so hurt and upset didn’t know what to do thought i would become pregnant thank god i didn’t he even forced me to give him a BJ man if i ever see the dumbass sometime i will gladly tell him off and give his ugly ass the finger for screwing everything for me…


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