Were you a child of divorce?

Were you a child of divorce?  If so, how do you think it affected you?

(remember, at Anonymousmom.com when you respond, you do NOT have to leave your name, email or link to your blog… but if you want to – feel free)

11 thoughts on “Were you a child of divorce?

  1. Kimberly

    I was. I have no memory of my mom and dad together, and though I wouldn’t promote divorce, I think I was much better off. My parents married too young and were not meant to be. My childhood would have been really rough if they had not split up, and thanks to this divorce, I was honored with a 2nd dad and an additional family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) when my mom remarried.

  2. Anonymous

    No, but my parents are going to get a divorce in the next few years. I think that gives me an entirely different perspective. I have younger siblings (youngest just turned 8, that’s why they’re staying together for awhile) who will have to grow up with divorced parents. Knowing that, for years, my parents loved each other, but my dad wasn’t who he said he was, makes life a little harder. I remember them being in love, dancing in the kitchen, holding hands, all that little stuff, and then I see them now and they are totally opposite. Since I no longer live with them, it doesn’t affect me as personally as it would had it happened when I was younger, but I think finding out about it has definitely affected me strongly, and not in a good way.

  3. Jo Ann

    We do not have divorce in our country but my parents did separate when I was still young. The effect on me is there is this big void in my heart and I always craved for a father figure.

  4. Willow

    I was. I grew up believing that my father had left us. My mom let me think that — maybe she never TOLD me that but she knew I thought it and never corrected me. I found out when I was 18 that I was very wrong. My mom plotted and schemed to take us and leave my dad — this was in the 60s in the south when divorce was still pretty rare. To this day, 40+ years later, with my mother having died 6 months ago, my father is still in love with my mother. For me, I have a deep distrust and a lack of faith in my own lovability — you know kids often blame themselves and think they were the cause of the divorce and all these years later my inner child still wonders why I wasn’t good enough for everybody to stay together.

  5. Sidney

    Yes, my parents divorced when I was 17 and a junior in high school….1978. They had never had a loving marriage, with my mom being the one with the balls in the family. Looking back, and going through my own divorce with six kids, and having been married to a man just like my father, I see why she did what she did. I always craved the love of my dad, and I see that as a factor in the demise of my three marriages, as well as the fact that each of my husbands wanted a mother, not a wife. I’m not blaming either one of my parents…I am a big girl who can make her own decisions. And frankly, even with the monumental task ahead of me, I see this as one of my better decisions.

  6. Anonymous

    I am. I didn’t meet my biological dad until I was 18 (he was a drug addict and alcoholic and my mom divorced him when she was 8 months pregnant with me). She remarried (he adopted me) but they divorced as well (he was a cheater and emotionally abusive). Both were hard on me though I don’t fault her (even though I hope and pray to never be divorced). I kind of think that if people were choosier with there husbands/wives and didn’t just “settle” then there would be a lot less divorce.

  7. Joan

    My parents were divorced when I was 10, with my Mom leaving the house and kids behind. This was in the early 60’s when divorce was almost unheard of, nevermind a man being a “single father”. He remarried in a very short time, and I was lucky to be brought up by a wonderful step-mother. To this day I have separation anxiety and control issues, though I do remember as a child I was relieved when the divorce was announced because the stress and fighting in the house was almost unbearable.

  8. Anonymous

    Thankfully no! I was one of the few in school who did NOT have divorced parents. My husband also comes from an intact family & it has made all the difference in our marriage. We will do whatever it takes to make our marriage work. Love is a choice. It is a gift for us to stick it out, happily, and also a gift to our children of a intact & secure family. When we said our vows, even tho were sooo in LUST & were clueless about marriage, we meant them. We renewed our vows last week & it means so much more now that we’ve been thru so much. Our marriage has an intimacy that can’t be faked; we both know we will never choose to leave. There is an incredible amount of security once that promise is made. With God’s grace, we will live happily ever after. Marriage takes preventative maintenance; don’t put your marriage on cruise control! Talk every day! Go out w/o the kids for romance & couple time. Work as hard on your marriage as you do with your job, your career, whatever…it will be worth it! Counseling can make a massive difference, don’t be scared to go to a ‘therapist’.

  9. peeking in

    I agree with Anonymous on August 5, 2008. Counseling is sooooo worth it. I will be celebrating a decade of marriage this December and three great kids. None of this would have come about if my husband and I didn’t see a ‘therapist’ for a year the second year of our marriage. The blessed woman helped us a lot. When we married we promised each other that as long as one of us wanted to work on the marriage the other had to step up. We went again for 8 months the 6th year of our marriage and again it really made a difference. Now our marriage is very strong and we are very devoted to each other and our family. However it does take a lot of work to maintain this great connection, but the most rewarding work I have ever done.

  10. Amanda

    I’m in a similar boat as Anon June 2. My parents split about six months after I moved out. I never thought I’d be a child of divorce. Honestly, I don’t think my mom would have divorced my dad had my brother not found the e-mails from my dad’s “lover.” She couldn’t stay married and save face with the family. I think after 20 years of marriage he got bored… well now after 10 years of marriage with his “lover” he’s MISSERABLE!! Payback can be a *****! My mom isn’t perfect… far from it… there were issues on both sides, but I know they both wish they’d worked things out.

  11. Anonymous

    Yes I am a child of divorce, and now having children of my own I realize how much my mom must have put herself though to raise me . I am grateful more then words that I didnt have to grow up questioning if the adults in my life loved me, like so many kids I knew who grown up in two parent households with two parents that just couldn’t get along. I rather come from a broken family where I felt loved then a two parent house where I question what love was.


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