Want more or less time with your inlaws?

Would you like to spend more or less time with your in-laws?  Explain why.

(remember, at Anonymousmom.com when you respond, you do NOT have to leave your name, email or link to your blog… but if you want to – feel free)

23 thoughts on “Want more or less time with your inlaws?

  1. Anonymous

    We see them every once in a while, maybe once or twice a year. I know my husband would like to see them more often, but I’m fine with things as they are. I don’t really like my FIL very much, he’s a terrifying driver but always insists on driving, and he’s OCD (the real kind, not the joking kind) – he’s busy cleaning all day but never gets anything done. I don’t really want to spend any more time with him than I have to. MIL is okay, but we don’t really have a ton in common.

  2. Anonymous

    We only see them about once a month or on special occasions, and that’s just fine by me. I wouldn’t see them at all if I didn’t love my husband and know (of course) that his parents are important to him.

  3. Anonymous

    They’re crazy “perfect” and I know always look down on me. They live within 30 minutes. Too close. Come into the house without knocking if the door is unlocked. Hate that!

  4. anonymous

    I think more often. They don’t come around as often as they should. It seems they’re usually with their “other” grandkids more. I just wonder when the kids get older if they’ll start to notice and I worry about it bothering them.

  5. JustME

    my hubbys mom is sick and so now we see them all the time. She doesn’t like me very much and she treats my kids so differently that it drives me crazy. My oldest is her favorite and the youngest gets no attention. DRIVES ME CRAZY so less time would be better

  6. Anon

    I think we’re at a good balance. We see them once a month…sometimes more….sometimes less…depending on if there are any special occasions happening.

    I love them but they drive me crazy. My mil is a flake and my fil is annoying.

  7. Anonymous

    I share the perfect amount of time with my inlaws, no time at all. They are all completely crazy. They bitch and grip all the time, start trouble for no apparent reasons, degrade my kids and compare them to others in the family. Its complete hell and we are so much better off without any of them.

  8. Anonomous

    Long story, My husband is a twin ive been with him for almost ten years. I love his mom and dad and his twin. Last year I found out that before my husband and I were dating (one month before we started dating) He slept with my now brother inlaws wife… I’ve known this women for years and she’s never liked me no matter what i try. Then I was smacked on the head with that. It just sucks so bad because I have to go to christmas at her house. Should I go? My husband knows how I feel about her now and it just doesn’t seem right to even think of her family. It honestly makes me sick. Any suggestions on what to do? Sad Wife.

  9. Anonymous

    I would love to see less of mine. Don’t get me wrong, they are great…but they moved in with us a little over a year ago and it has turned into a nightmare!

  10. Anonymous

    I was quite bothered by last visit fr inlaws and not quite sure I completely want less time than once or twice a year we see them,I mostly need new strategies on how to deal effectively when they are around. They came for a week and I thought that was the most tense and completely uneasy week to be alone w/ them, my husband happen to have to go on business trip for 3 of the days they were here.it sucks as the highlight of their stay is the dinner w/ their fave son. We also have a language barrier plus the inlaws have great tendency to be quite ethnocentric,no appreciation much at all for other culture,customs,food,etc. what hurts me most of all is when I think about the food aspect as that seems to be all they think about fr moment of getting up to the time they retire for bed. My husband’s siblings probably are told I don’t cook at all or incapable of it bec. I get the out of blue question when I’m visiting them: is it true their mother cooked for the family the entire time?. I’m not denying that she did in fact but when they come over I totally relinquish my kitchen as that seems to be where MIL is most comfortable,my inlaws operated a restaurant for many yrs. so they are more than happy providing the meals I thought. I’m for sure they will not appreciate food I make or my own ethnic cuisine so why would I bother w/ the expense and effort.At home by ourselves, I’m the one who’s learned to cook my husband’s cuisine and quite edible as we serve to friends and guests as well,ironic indeed. It also grates on me that they can’t think of any activity to do w/ my 2 kids under age 5 that doesn’t involve a breakfast @ McDonald’s and food shopping. I do try to invite them along when we go to the park esp. summertime but has no interest in going along w/ their usual kid activities so the kids has less contact w/ them and thus a little estranged when they’re here.After being married 7 yrs. I thought I’ve adjusted to the strangeness of it all but there are still certain triggers, I can pretty much let go of most probably insults that are spoken in my house since I don’t know their language but when FIL is deliberately being provocative in his sarcastic comments I try to fire back w/ some retorts as I feel if I don’t I just might explode and answer much more rudely w/c I dont want to do out of respect to my wonderful husband. I’m lucky enough in that I am able to share some of my frustrations during visits w/ hubby but don’t get much feedback.I guess I can just tell myself, better luck next visit. I’ve been thinking up ways and gathering advice fr fellow moms about what I can make better, other than avoiding their company and making myself scarce at the house as much as possible.

  11. Anonymous

    Some inlaws are nothing but trouble. My experience has been a nightmare. They have belittled me and insult me in front of my children when I’m not around. They live like slobs and are very rude. They are racist pigs and talk about everybody behind their backs. I have been with my lover for 10 years now and we have three beautiful girls. It makes me a loser because I’m a stay at home mom? I can’t stand the sight of them now. I want nothing to do with them.

  12. Anonymous

    I’d love to spend more. My MIL passed away many years ago and to this day I miss her and wished I had of spent more time with her. Perhaps it’s more in my mind now that my son is older and has a partner. I see that when I used to spent way more time with my mom and my family and hubby’s got a little shut out, how much it must have hurt my MIL. I’m sorry for that and regret my part, even though it was not meant to be intentional.

    I just hope that my son’s partner continues to include us in their lives. True her mom will get the extra time from them and preferred holiday times, etc. but I’m trying as hard as I can to be the sort of MIL that doesn’t judge or guilt them and just be happy and grateful for the times that we do get. I think that it will benefit everyone, especially once they have children. I don’t want to make their lives more complicated or stressful. I just want to love them and have them love us back.

  13. Anonymous

    Right now I wish I could spend LESS time with them! My MIL and SIL live 10 minutes away and that is too close for comfort! My family and I moved away and they FOLLOWED us! It wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t drama queens!!!

  14. Anonymous

    My inlaws only live about ten minutes away. I think they are crazy. For example, my husband’s father blows all of his money on gambling and unimportant things instead of paying his bills. My husband has given them whole pay checks at a time so they could actually have heat. I think they are old enough to be more responsible with money. It makes me really mad at how much they depend on their son for things. And why should my children and I go without so they can blow their money on trips to the casino and trips to Florida instead of paying their bills? It really infuriates me. My husband and I have had plenty of arguments on this. I understand that they are his parents and he feels obligated to help them. But I am his wife and we have a family to support. We can’t suffer just because they want to gamble and have fun in the sun. We’re barely scraping by because of the loss of income that goes to them. I just wish they would move to Florida for good so we wouldn’t have to support them anymore.

  15. confused

    How do you handle a VERY spiteful and backstabbing mother of your daughters husband who has always been VERY mean and hateful to your daughter unless she wants something, then she puts on a “act” where she is suddenly acting like she has never called your daughter a BITCH or let your daughters husband (her son) bring another woman to her house and “party” with the both of them, letting them sleep together in her house, and the whole time your daughter is setting at home with the two little sweet angels they have, just 18 months apart in age, then calling your daughter after he gets your daughter pregnant for the third time and tell your daughter her son needs to come and spend time with his other child he is supposed to have, and the other woman he slept with never had a baby by him? His mother has always been this way, and they have been together for seven years, been married for six now, and we are the ones who “pay” the way for them because he wastes pretty much he makes at the prison as a “corrections officer”, and that is ok because we love our daughter and two wonderful Granddaughters more than words can say, but he has been MEAN to our daughter, hitting her, putting her head through the hall wall, choking her, hitting the walls of their new house, and yes, before any one asks, we have had him arrested, but as it almost always goes, she dropped the charges. After I and then my husband who is a good foot and a half taller and at least 80 or more pounds bigger and 35 years older than him, and a DAMM good shot with a right to carry a gun, has explained to him, the very next time ANYTHING looks even like something might have happened to our daughter or those two precious babies, it will be the last time, and this “man” is a pretty big person, but knows either myself who happens to know how to put one right in the bulls eye myself, and not to mention her dad, it will be the last time for him, and he better go in lock up himself, or well thats all I am going to say. What do we do, how are we supposed to handle this situation now since his mother is doing her nice act since our daughter is about to give birth to the third child? We love our daughter again, more than words can say, and it was just three months ago his mother was calling our daughter a bitch and worse, again, and then just starting two weeks ago, she started coming up to there house and being so nice it makes a sane person wants to puke, and we all know it will not be no time she will turn back into the motherinlaw from HELL again. What should we do???

  16. anonymous

    pretty much i just like my sister in law. my father in law is nice enough and generous but he tends to be really opinionated which is frustrating. My mother in law is just utterly crazy. My brother in law doesnt really connect with anyone and I’m starting to not take that personally I guess. But my sister in law is pretty great. She’s been very open and real with me and thats nice. I do get tired of feeling like my husband cares more for their kids than he does ours, but I’ll get over it one day I guess.

  17. anon

    Would love to see LESS of em. Live in same town & I just can’t wait to move. The further away the better. Shame, but MIL brought it on hetself!

  18. Anon

    I hate my sister in law who has for the last 20 years tried to delete my parents from her (and consequently my brother’s) life. Seems she might have managed it this time.

  19. Anonymous

    My sister in law is a major bitch. She never gets up with her children to take care of them, she expects me and her brother to clean her house and take care of her pets. She doesn’t even say how she appreciates us and even says thank you. Once her kids get up, we have to watch them until her oldest goes to school, and then we have to wait until she gets up until the time between 11:00am and 1:00pm. She plays on her phone day in and day out and hardly pays attention to her kids, which resulted in her oldest becoming a disrespectful little brat. She doesn’t care about how her kids treat her, and she won’t even clean her own house. She had a bunch of scented candle crap in the stove burners which could’ve set the house on fire. I can honestly say that if she was my friend and family, she wouldn’t be treating her family members as a last resort and making us dislike even more. I honestly wish she would grow up and start acting a responsible adult and parent. Nobody wants to be around her or everything she says and does. She really hasn’t changed her ways at all. Or even at least gained good manners. And everyday, she allows her son, herself and her friends to call me a ni##er everyday and I am sick of hearing and her! Why can’t she just grow up?

  20. Belle

    I have a sister in law who I have come to dislike with great intensity. She treats me and her brother (who is also my fiance) like servants and personal assistance because of the fact that we live under her roof. Here are a few reasons why I dislike her:

    1. She will not wake up to her children.
    She does not go to bed until either 3:00 a.m. or 5:00 a.m. because she doesn’t want to deal with so-called nightmares. When her kids get up about 2 to 3 hours later, she never wakes up and she ends up sleeping through her bratty children screaming and destroying the house my fiance and I try to keep clean.

    2. She doesn’t clean her house.
    She never makes and effort to clean her house because she expects everyone around her to clean up after her and her kids. No matter how clean it gets, she always leaves a mess. She never picks up after her dog either. She just doesn’t care whether how clean her house is or not, we always have to do so or she will throw the biggest fit over she’s the only one working and she busts her ass. Yeah, okay. Whatever.

    3. She is the laziest person in the world/her children are out of control.
    Now, this one is where she draws the line on how she can make even the most patient person dislike her. Her children do not listen to anyone. Not my fiance, not me or her. Her oldest is the worst out of the two. Mainly because she doesn’t care about how they behave in public or even at home. She even allows her son to say swears and racial slurs to me everyday. He even tells his own mother to shut up. Everyday she even calls me a ni***r and her son copies it. I can’t stand the sense of humor she has anymore. Luckily we are moving to Utah to be away from her own little corrupt family we longer tolerate.


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