Have you ever thought about suicide?

Have you ever thought about suicide?  What do you feel got you to that point of feeling you wanted to end it all?

(remember, at Anonymousmom.com when you respond, you do NOT have to leave your name, email or link to your blog… but if you want to – feel free)



50 thoughts on “Have you ever thought about suicide?

  1. BAS

    Yes….I hate to admit it, but I have. Recently, too. Mostly when my husband mistreats me or we are in a fight. I’ve never acted on it—made any attempts, but I fear one day I might. My kids are the one thing that has kept me from giving up.

  2. Anonymous

    I do alot lately. I feel that my husband hates me, my kids don’t respect me and sometimes I just want to end it all. I have 5 kids with 3 different fathers. I know that sounds really bad but my past is screwed up. The only thing that keeps me alive is the fact that they would all be seperated and I do not want them to live like that.

  3. Anonymous

    I think about it all the time. I am a single mother with two boys, and I have been unemployed for seven months. The job market sucks, and I feel like I am NEVER going to find anything. I’ve been turned down for every interview I’ve been on, I’ve gained weight, and I just feel like a worthless piece of crap. My mother is paying my rent because of the boys, but at the first of the year she won’t be able to anymore. It all looks very dire. I have thought many times about giving the boys to their fathers and just ending it. Everyone would be so much better off. I’m not contributing anything.

  4. Anonymous

    many times, although I haven’t actually attempted since being married. I only did that in high school. My husband knows and tried to help me, but what help is there when you feel like it would be better off to just be gone?

  5. Anonymous

    Every Day for years and years. When I was a kid I use to keep a stash of pills hidden in my room. Looking back they worst they would have done was give me a really bad stomach ache but at the time it was my way out when things were finally too much. The only time I haven’t had it on my mind was for three years I was in England. I don’t know what it is but rainy days cheer me up.

  6. Anonymous

    many times. I was very depressed throughout high school and college. I still think about it from time to time and unfortunately it has increased since I had my baby 3 months ago. The worst part is that I have no reason to be depressed/suicidal. Some people have bad things happen to them that makes them feel this way. I had a rough childhood with an alcoholic/verbally abusive mom, but the last 4 years I’ve had no real good reason to be depressed. And I feel real bad for having thoughts of suicide since my son was born because this should be the happiest time of my life.

  7. Anonymous

    Yea I have and even tried and failed a few times. After many years and many drs finally found that it was something chemically wrong now that I know its there I can control it alot better partially with medication. Anyone that has ever felt this way should talk with a dr cause its not normal as some put it and it could just be caused by a chemical imbalance. Wish I had found it out alot sooner.

  8. Anonymous

    I had very bad post-partum depression, and I thought everyone would be better off without me. I felt like since I had done my job (having a baby) there was nothing left for me to do.

  9. Anonymous

    I lost a fiancee in a car accident where he was thrown from the car 50 feet, was airlifted and was bought into the hospital with internal and external injuries and in a coma.He woke up and a few days later suffered cardiac arrest and they lost him too long.He stayed in a coma for a while and woke up from it but had really bad brain damage. I had to do everything,his family did nothing but I had no rights as we were not married.He had motor functions that got better as I got him into different places to help brain injured people.He slowly started losing his motor functions,was in constant pain,had constant infections that the antibiotics did not work after a while,the body becomes immune. He went from 240lbs big muscular to 120 lbs and the hard part was he knew what was going on and could not speak at all and tell someone,my tooth fell out,my back hurts….it was horrible to watch for over 1 yr.I was there for along time and almost had a breakdown over it.
    I have never been the same since then,I called him 2 minutes before the accident and told him that the next day thanksgiving i did not want to celebrate it and that I wanted to leave work early and take a nap and act like the day never happened and nothing was wrong.Within 5 minutes I got the call that he was being airlifted and I left work and as I pulled up to the hospital the helicopter was landing in front of me.It was like a bad dream and I was in it. I was bought in and they put me in a room by myself and they didnt even know who he was for along time.
    I dont know why when he had cardiac arrest and they lost him for over a5 minutes why they didnt stop.They knew and told me after that he would not wake up and he did and instead suffered for over a year.
    I am not the same person and my life has gone wrong since then.I am losing my home, I have the worst health and heart conditions. I am about to foreclose and cant keep a job,although I am starting one next week.My husband was so great after I met him and he knew what happened to my fiancee,but now has dragged me even further down that sometimes I just dont want to live.I just want to crawl in a corner and I need someone to help take care of me.
    I have a 26yr old and he is the only reason I live.He does not see his dad and I am his life although he does well on his own.I am scared and broke and miserable.I gained weight,feel horrible and use to be nice weight,pretty,and always happy….not any more.
    I tryed meds from dr.s and it has not helped .I just cant get over what I went thru and wish my life would change already,and get better for once.I have had nothing but bad luck,it never changes,I ask god to help and keep asking. I am about to give up and yet days I get up and want to conquer the world.God help me….Kat

  10. Anonymous

    I have thought about it many times since I was a teenager, I have never been lucky in my life, I have a family that is never together, most of the times I feel so lonely… I am living with someone I don’t really love and the one I do love just got married… Life just is not fair…..

  11. Anonymous

    Hell yes. Constantly. I am constantly in emotional turmoil, ever since I was about 11. It seems like this is my mental condition and nothing will change that. I’ve tried pills, I’ve tried changing my lifestyle, I have tried everything, and none of it does anything. It gets worse and worse and my son does not have his father, only my parents, and I fear what would happen to him if I died, accidentally or otherwise.

    I wish I was a normal person, with normal feelings, with normal thoughts. It is mentally exaughsting and I just want this to stop. Death sounds welcoming. I wish I could be a better mother to my child, who so needs me.

  12. Anonymous

    Yes, on several occasions, though thankfully, not recently. A lot of things happened in my teenage years which lead to depression (It runs in the family, so there’s a big chance I would have been diagonised regardless of what happened in my life) I attempted suicide twice, but thankfully wasn’t successful. I now take daily medication to help battle my depression. Do I like having to take a pill to feel normal? Nope, but I look at it like any other disease. Would a diabetic refuse to take insulin to feel normal? Then why should I feel any different about taking medication for my disease?

    It’s a matter of recognizing the feelings your having aren’t normal and getting the help you need. There is hope for anyone who suffers from depression to lead a normal life.

  13. Anonymous

    when depressed in the past, yes I had thought of it but never tried. Oddly enough the other day while I was driving home I suddenly had this thought flash through my mind:

    “what if I just turned the wheel quickly and crashed into all those trees”

    It rather took me by surprise…

  14. Monica

    I have always thought about suicide as young as 9 years of age. I dont know why at times but I learned that my great grandfather killed himself so maybe its hereditary.

  15. nobody

    I have thought about suicide since childhood, I dont ever think I would ever do it, but there have been two times in my life that I came close, I guess the only thing that keeps me from actually doing it, is the connection and love I have for my family. Depression and suicide run in my family, and I know the pain I would cause, so I simply endure it, even when I wish it would all just end…

  16. helen

    i really dont think there is any help for me and believe after a life off trying to find answers and a cure its time for me to leave this life. tried everything, all the medical help there is, medication, drink , smoking, have spent life truing to find a cure. I have no will to live and just want this forty years off pain to end. FORTY FIVE NOW AND HAD THESE FEELINGS SINCE I WAS FIVE

  17. NoneToHappy

    NO, I havent thought of my own suicide, but prayed daily for my husbands. Being with a bi-polar, mani-depressesive and angry man is no fun.

  18. AnonymousE

    I have been told and made to feel like i was/am worthless. By my parents,boyfriends,ex husband and now my husband. The only man that really loved me is gone (grandfather). My husband cheated on me and in revenge,i kissed another man. My life has never favored me in the love department. Been on meds for my depression and nothing really brightened up. I had attempted taking my life n my teenage years. After my children were born,i had to keep it together for them. No father,single mom,divorced due to extreme abuse. I never had what it took to be truly loved as a person. Sometimes,if it werent for my children,i would have left this place years ago. I even think now,my children are now taken care of by my husband (bad husband,great dad figure). We are having financial issues and the hubby is in Iraq. When he returns and i can come to my goodbyes,i have thought of taking my life,so the life insurance on me could help my family,so he can wander freely,so my small children can have things and opportunities they wouldnt have with me. But then i feel selfish and bad and the thoughts go away. Im trying to do better but,im plagued,why am i so bad? what did ido wrong not to deserve love from my husband,or anyother man for that fact of the matter?

  19. Anonymous

    Yes. I’m 90 lbs over weight. Husband and I split up and I have been unemployed for over two months. I feel so alone. The only reason I get out of bed is for my little girl. And I feel like such a bad mom. She deserves to get out of the house. I am embaressed to leave the house because I do not want anyone to see how big I’ve gotten.

  20. Anonymous

    no i never ever thought about suicide!! i hate any kind of pain, be it emotional, physical, or just pain in general. even in the worst times of my life, ending it was never an option. The thought never crossed my mind even when i was depressed for 6 months. I never wished for anyone to die either. everyone desrves to be on this planet, and we all have the same rights. suicide solves nothing.

  21. Anonymous

    i have 5 kids with 5 babydaddys, a total of $30.00 childsupport per week (yes 30, not 300) a mom that hates me, a father that has ,yet again, abandoned me. failing health, but no money for healthcare, and not a friend in the world……

  22. Anonymous

    i am 34 years old, i have tried several times but failed everytime. lol seems to be the way it is for me…i fail at everything. i have been very suicidal since i was 13 years old. i am male i have 7 kids, andf they ean the world to me. hwen do you know that they would be better off if youre gone? i dont wanna go on, i just dont have it in me. i just wanna stop breathing so my pain can stop… i know that seems selfish but when can it be about me?

  23. Bubbles

    As a child I was bullied very badly. I had mild weight problems (i was only a few pounds heavier then I should have been) and was constantly called fat. The day I thought about suicide was when I was called an ugly fat cow who deserved to die a slow and painful death, and punched really hard in the stomach. When i got home I got my dressing gown cord and tied it around my neck, but when I heard my mum singing I knew I couldn’t do it to her.

  24. anonymous

    wow, i guess just about everyone thinks about it. well, me too. i know i will never do it, but when scanning my life for solutions to my problems… the idea is often there.

  25. Anonymous

    Yes, but only totally passing thoughts, nothing that would qualify as “suicide ideation.” I’ll have some problem that is overwhelming me and the thought “Well, I could go throw myself off the bridge” pops into my head, but then just as quickly, the thought “Don’t be ridiculous” pops in. Sometimes when I’m feeling unappreciated I indulge in “how sad everyone would be if I were dead” thoughts, but that’s just sulkiness. I hope the people here who are having actual suicidal thoughts will seek help!! There is lots of real help out there — people and medications that will help you not feel like that. Google suicide hotline if you need help.

  26. anonymous

    i have been thinking suidical since i was 11 years old
    i am now 23 yrs old, the reason behind these thoughts is because
    my father passed when i was 3 months,he left my mother with 4 children to him, and my mother gave me to his parents so i lived split up from my brothers and sisters,my grandmother tortured me with horriable stories about my mother, and how much i was just like her, and that my mother would murder me, beat me, and so on, my grandmother was quite abusive to me growing up and she always told me how much she hated me and how much of a burden i was to everyone and that no one wanted me…and wished that i was never born,i never felt like i was apart of any family not my fathers or mothers, i had tried a couple attemps but couldnt go thru,
    i went down a bad rd, drugs drinking you name it!
    i let myself be used by men i had no direction in my life
    until i moved to australia and met my husband but then it went down hill again he cheated twice on me, i tried to leave but he would threaten to kill himself, so yeah kind of attracted the same thing, so i tried to band aid our relationship with marrige and do keep in mind that i did love him very much, but then i started to feel lonley and wanted a family that i could call my own that wouldnt leave me like my family did me
    so we had a baby and well she was beautiful, but thru my pregnacy i was totally depressed, and couldnt stop imagingin killing myself but i knew i couldnt with another life inside of me so i thought that i would hold off
    so its been a little over a year now since my baby was born and im still thinking towards that negitave area, i have no one to talk to
    and my family just think that im a dick
    they don’t take me seriously cause well im a bit of a clown in the family
    i act like everythings fine…they didnt know that i wanted to kill myself
    not until my husband told my grandmother, but my grandmother told him to let me do it, cause if i wanted to die i would have done it already
    it just makes me feel like she doesnt care and i do want to go thru with it but i dont want to hurt my daughter in the process

  27. dawn

    yes me too…i have thought about it and have tried ever since i can remember… it got real bad when i lost my son 16 yrs ago to the day as an infant…and now that i have been remarried for the past 12 yrs i have tried to end life many times due to arguements with husband…as close as i think i am…my husband always seems to catch me just before i go in to coma and calls 911…go figure i want to end life cause of him and he is the one who brings me back….I really thought the last time i was going to succed with taken 14 ambien pills and 8 vicoden….i even wrote a suicide letter to my kids and to my mom and dad….i really think life will be good for everyone if i was to die…my kids will be raised just fine…and its not like i dont have and angel waiting for me up there cause i have my son waiting for me and i want to be with him so bad that im sure it wont be the last attempt to take my life…im 41 and i have lived my life…i just want to be with my deceased son ….he needs his mom too…i just think of him being alone and i get so sad that i cant take it no matter who i hurt on this earth..i just want to be with him….

  28. Anonymous

    a couple of times… i am thirteen years old (i know this is for moms but it feels good to let it all out) and i feel like i get in trouble soo much. i am very scared of my dad so i always thought that i could trust my mom and talk to her about things. but lately my mom has also been yelling at me.. my mom almost smacked me accross the face a couple of times. im scared of both my parents now. my mom said she is sick of my attitude but i dont understand how i have an attitude.. i only get one when they start yelling at me. i am very scared and have tried cutting myself. i have no one to talk to cuz im afraid to talk to a school counselor and i cant go to a doctor.

  29. Anonymous

    The first time was when I was 11, I was bullied at school and we lived in poverty so i never had anything nice like the other kids. The 2nd time was when i was 12. I tried at times in my 20’s and when I was 33 I was living in a new town with nowhere to turn and went into the car that was in the garage and made sure all doors were closed, I turned it on while my 3 kids slept inside. I suddenly decided to turn off the car and instead opened the door and bawled my eyes out on the concrete floor of the garage. that was 7 yrs ago and the memory still haunts me…. what the hell was I thinking? How dare I risk trauma to the kids by having them find me dead in the car and for them to have nowhere to turn. They also had nothing and nobody! what would have happened if I had died how would they have grown up? well they would have grown up angry, lost and alone stuck in the foster care system. I have a hard time forgiving myself for acting so selffishly. I’m glad I was able to get help for myself.

  30. RRM

    It’s something you deal with. Part of human nature. This suicidal feeling is fed by traumatic events. Cry it out. Speak to anyone even the mirror, we all know we do it and it helps. When I committed suicide I saw how I hurt my family. My mom didn’t stop screaming. My little sister didn’t understand how her hero suddenly was gone. How he suffered on the way out. Eventually she lost it, went mad. My father was already crazy and used my death to feed his self pity. My older sister was sad but calm, she knew how much I suffered. My older brother had his own demons to fight. The love of my life, well I can’t stop hurting over her. She was a breath of fresh air. Full of life and love. I didn’t think I would end all that was pure and right in her by going away. I was hurting very much! I just didn’t know how they would suffer. I mean, they knew what I was going though. Like me I guess they wished it would all just get better.
    I still feel the knot in my stomach, the bitter taste in my mouth… RRM

  31. Elaine

    Yes, I am currently thinking about suicide. I feel like I have failed at life. I finished college last year but I am still having a hard time finding a good job. I have applied to jobs that I know I can do but have been rejected for. I currently have a job but my hours have been cut due to high labor costs. I can’t even afford a small apartment!
    I live with my mom because I can’t afford an apartment. I have been trying to find a new or second job and nothing is working. My mom will be getting remarried soon and I am scared I will have nowhere to go because I can’t afford anything!
    Recently, I have begun taking pills before I go to sleep at night. I am starting with a small dosage and upping it every night. I thinking about passing away peacefully in my sleep and not waking up the next morning.
    I always hear that money does not buy happiness. That is a false statement. Money does buy happiness and I will continue to believe that until I experience otherwise. I have not seen any unhappy rich people.
    I am not looking to be a millionaire here. I just want enough money to live modestly but comfortable and be able to pay my own bills and student loan payments. When do I get some luck? When will it be my turn to be happy? I would rather be dead than be nothing. I dream about my own death and have even prayed for it.
    If something positive does not happen soon, I am going to kill myself.

  32. Anonymous

    I’ve thought about it a lot over the pat 3 years. My husband, best friend and father of our 4 beautiful children has had 3-4 “emotional affairs”. The most recent one was the most painful. It involved the mother of our sons best friend. They established a very inappropriate “friendship” which lead to me catching him on the phone with her at 1 and 2 in the morning. They created situations where they would have to work together (he is/was a pastor and she was a volunteer) or depend on each other for the kids transportation. Each time I confronted my husband he would adamently deny the relationship and yell and tell me how crazy I am. He even punched a hole in the wall one of the nights I caught him talking to her and was so angry that I didn’t believe him when he claimed it was someone else. I recieved a text message in church from him that was meant for her that declared his undying love. I was made to believe that I was crazy for thinking the things that I did, that I started to believe it. I began trying to come up with ways to do away with myself but make it look like an accident. I am so thankful that I never followed through. My kids are beautiful and I do not want to leave them with the idea that their mom was not strong enough to handle life. My husband and I are now separating. It’s by far the most painful and emotional journey I’ve ever been on, but I hope that the kids can learn to never quit. no matter what. I love them, and that is who I now live for.

  33. hopeless

    Yes since 14. Life changed after my father passed away and my mom became distant and didn’t talk to us. Then she passed away a few years later.

  34. T.

    Yes Im ready to experience a new world, i havent done so well in this one . mabey in my next life ill be a better person. I havent financially supported my family well and mabey they would be better off if i wasnt involved, they could start a new life. If it wasnt 4 hurting them emotionally I think i would.

  35. Umm

    Yes, since birth. Born with memories of another lifetime, and compared to this world, it sucks!

    Yes I’ve been in therapy and am a therapist, minister, meditator, contemplator, etc…. I have immersed myself in several religions and I talk to God, read Bible and Quran everyday, yet I only have small periods of time, that remotely resemble happiness. I am sensitive and can easily see the truth in situations, this too can suck. Tried, alcohol and drugs, that sucked too. Fortunately or unfortunately, I am a mother. I believe that the only reason God let me have 4 kids, was so that I would not commit suicide. It would be too selfish to leave my children holding the back of sick emotions, guilt and shame. They will have more than enough to contend with, without me adding to their load. See ya.

  36. Anonymous

    Death is the only thing that will set you free. A life of pain may be better left unlived. I have thought of suicide as early as I can remember. A day has not passed that I haven’t contimplated it in some degree. I wonder what age I will finaly be when I finaly end this life. I find it strange that my instinct to live has held out as long as it has. I must say having children has increased my will to live and know for sure that my abuse of drugs and alchohol have increased my desire to commit suicide. Just to rest and not feel the sorrow any longer. Anti deppresants are a joke and my only near attempt at suicide was due to being medicated with prozac. Attention seeking can not be the cause for my issue as this is the first time I have ever expressed these thoughts to any one ever. Forgive me…….

  37. Anonymous

    Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.

    It is haunting me tonight and is the reason I stumbled upon this.

    I hate being bipolar, but I don’t think it’s that simple.

  38. Anonymous

    I might not be perfect, or even the slightest bit of pretty… but I still try to keep my head up high. Yeah, I’ve got to admit, my life is shitty. Sometimes it feels like a living hell-hole, and I can never get myself out. But then there’s those days when everything seems fine, and I just want to keep smiling, even if I don’t have a reason to.

    My mom? She’s a whore. She’s fucking around with three other men while lying to my dad, telling him that he loves her and all of these other lies. She treats me like I’m her “little angel” only because she doesn’t want to lose me. Truth is, she already has and she should just give up.

    My friends? They all think I’m the dumbest bitch to ever walk this earth. But what they don’t know is that I’m smarter than most of them. Yeah, I have my dumb moments… but at least I don’t have them constantly like some of the people I know.

    Then there’s me. I look in a mirror and feel like I’m the ugliest fucking individual alive. I’m constantly bullied, picked on because I’m not flawless. Overweight? Yeah. But does it matter anymore? I don’t know. Right now it feels like nothing matters.”

    Attempted 5 times; thought of once – cause it’s never left my mind.

    The only thing that’s keeping me here today is my little half-sister. Just seeing her walk around and explore the new things makes me feel like maybe the best things in life aren’t always the biggest.

  39. Nobody

    I pray almost daily not to wake up the next day. I ask the god spare someone who wants to live and take me instead.

  40. Anonymous

    I have no reason to want to be gone. I have a Great husband, # boys and 1 girl -all are smart kids. I have nice things and no one hurts or abuses me in any way, but I hate myself so much that I find myself unbearable. It has become so bad that I can’t even look at my own handwriting without thinking that it’s ugly, but knowing that it’s no different from anyone else’s.
    The scary part is that no medication has ever changed my opinion that it just makes sense for me to not be on this earth. My daughter has been my final reason not to ever try suicide. I do believe that God knows he broke something, or my parents broke me, so he made me and gave me Megan to remind me that I do need to be here. I thank Him for her every day.

  41. nobody

    yeah , have been thinking of suicide since i was 6 , i feel so lonely all the time ,, went through a lot throughout my childhood .. I’m 21 now and i’m still thinking of suicide .. i wish i was never born

  42. Anonymous

    I can remember thinking this since I was 10 years old.
    It makes me feel weak, guilty, isolated, selfish.
    It’s not something that is constantly there.
    But when it is it physically hurts in my cheast.
    I would never actually do it, but I get images of it in my head. Which I hate.
    How I would do it. Consider how it could be made to look like an accident so the people that love me wouldn’t know I did it on purpose.
    My father died when I was a child. I wonder if it has something to do with that. I have been tought to cope and be strong.
    We should be greatfull for what we have and enjoy life as best as we can. So why do some people suffer feeling that being non existant is the easiest way. It’s horrific. 18 years of this popping up is slowly getting to me.
    I am considering talking to someone, but when I feel more positive I will talk myself out of it and feel rediculous for even considering it.

  43. Anonymous

    I’ve thought of suicide since I was about 6 or 7 years old, about 2 or 3 times a week. The only reason I know this is because I can only remember my childhood moments from when I was depressed as a child. I was very quite, and still am… But I’ve had a few people who are those ‘soul’ sort of people, and they all say that my eyes show hollowness, despair and a sense of being lost. I have this image burned into my head of me as a child and it gives me chills because I look into the eyes of that picture and I see such sadness that it makes me cry… Yet it’s framed in my parents house in the hallway. I tried strangling myself once, blacked out and woke up with the worst headache of my life. It didn’t rattle me that I was trying to commit suicide, I just found that the whole thing was an intriguing experience. I justify not trying again because I’ve been told how selfish of an act it is… And I just imagine my Oma being heart broken. I always think of her when I’m hysterically sobbing and screaming behind closed doors; but I’m scared because she won’t be around for much longer. These thoughts of suicide seem to be the only comforting thing that has been a constant in my life… I’ve pushed away friends and family because I find the average person to be disgusting due to western culture, the lack of kindness and love, and how much of an epic asshole the closest people in my life have been.

    All my life I’ve had really good grades, stayed active, and I’m now a graphic designer. Yet, my soul tells me that freedom will come when I escape this bullshit world… I could hang myself with a smile… But I know nobody really sees how happy that death would make me. There’s always that saying that says ‘do what makes you happy’. So, until that day I get such an emotional release and weight off of my shoulders when I cut (my inner thighs). My knuckles are chipped and scarred because when I was younger, I used to go down into my fruit cellar with cement walls and just beat the shit out of the wall until my hands were a bloody mush… That was a cry for help… But nobody answered because I would tuck my hands away. Out of the over 30+ times my hands were cut up, swollen and bruised… My parents and friends only noticed once. I’ve asked for help from therapists but they cost too much money that I don’t have. I’ve talked to people about it, but I can see that they are scared to talk with me and only give me surface level responses. I’ve been to my doctor so many times with unanswered sicknesses and such that he won’t even take me seriously even when I tell him about depression and an unhealthy mind state. It’s like nobody has compassion anymore… And it’s finally made me jaded to the point where I barely talk to anyone, I don’t answer my phone, and I closed down my side business simply because I don’t want to have the whole fake positive customer service attitude with people anymore. I feel like I’m just depressed ball of negativity that nobody takes seriously anymore, professionally and in person. I’m starting to lose what little faith I have for finding true beautiful people in this world… And I’m noticing that I’m almost going crazy with my emotions, hysteric break downs and this fucked up feeling of calmness, relief and peacefulness that comes after crying, screaming, outward a anger and then sitting and reflecting upon how sweet it would be to do an epic suicide so that it rattles the people in my life to wake the fuck up and show some love to somebody… Everyone is too distracted by money, fake food, fashion, buy buy buy consume consume consume… To even see what life is really about.

    Writing to nobody helps. It always helps to get these things out… But I also know that this in itself is a lame cry for help over anonymous Internet where nobody can actually say or do anything of real help. But I guess it will calm me down for now and refocused on more epic ways to violently spill my guts onto the public who is more conserved with the traffic to work rather than the person who hung themselves from the bridge that is causing the traffic jam.

  44. Anonymous

    I’ve thought a lot about suicide. Even attempted it a few times. All started when i was 7. My papaw/my best friend died and my little sister was born. I’ve never gotten a long with my sister, I have tried but seems she just hates me. I also never got along to well with my mom or my step dad. I never really had any friends and the ones I did have left like they never knew me.
    I’m now 19 and just found out I’m pregnant. I have no friends, and it seems only my parents and fiance support me. Sometimes it feels like he(fiance) doesn’t even support me. I still think about suicide every once in a while, but I want to have my baby and I want to give him/her a much better life then I ever had.

  45. Anonymous

    Sometimes I imagine myself standing on the railing of a very large bridge in my town. I close my eyes and imagine the wind blowing in my hair and the sensation of almost flying. I would NEVER do this of course, but sometimes I get so down when I realise I am in a relationship that is not healthy for me or my kids, I escape in my mind. One day I will change this 🙂

  46. Nikki

    Yes, my boyfriend who refuses to get engaged hates me. After a 3 year fight my ex gained custody because supposedly I talk shit about him in front of my 6 year old daughter. My boyfriend and I have a 10 month old and he says that a trapped him by getting pregnant. He really wanted an abortion. I’m so lost. The only thing holding me together is my 10 month old who never leaves me.

  47. Anonymous

    Yes. I used to be so anti-suicide. Always thinking that people who committed suicide were selfish because they only thought of their feelings and not the effects it would have on the ones who love them. That was until I found myself in a divorce battle, and in a new relationship where there were many fights due to my then-soon-to-be-ex-husband. Every time I got into a fight with my boyfriend I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. My marriage ending was my choosing (should have done it ages ago) but I felt like I would never have a successful relationship again. My ex-husband and I kept going back and forth and I was under a lot of stress. I felt like our children hated me and that they would be much better off without me as they had their father, his big family and wouldn’t have to split their time between two homes. I asked god many times to just take my life as I felt worthless and I was too scared to take it upon myself to end it all. I found the strength I needed in the love for my children and knowing that even though they might hate me, i’m still their mother and they would be devastated with the fact that mommy couldn’t be with them anymore. Some time has passed since then but not enough so I still feel depressed at times….many times. But I mask it all……All for my 2 beautiful children. They keep me alive and smiling.


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