Have you ever had an abortion?

Have you ever had an abortion?  Looking back, would you make the same decision?

(remember, at Anonymousmom.com when you respond, you do NOT have to leave your name, email or link to your blog… but if you want to – feel free)



79 thoughts on “Have you ever had an abortion?

  1. Anonymous

    yes i’ve had 3! one because i had conceived while on the pill. the dr. said ther was a 50/50 chance of the child being abnormal, so i aborted it. 2nd time was actually a miscarriage, so it was more of a uterus scraping, 3rd, we already have 2, so we werent prepared for a 3rd child. since then, ive had my tubes tied. i recommend it, no mood breakers!

  2. anonymous

    Yes. Twice. Once when I was 15 and the other one was when I was 16. Thank God my uterus was ok afterwards b/c I had 3 beautiful children with my loving husband. Both times I wasn’t ready. I think about it sometimes and get sentimental but when I look at my kids, I knew I did the right thing.

  3. Anonymous

    Yes. I was forced to by my Mother, because it would cause shame to the family. I regret it every day, and I have for the last 23 years. I will forever long for the child that I was not allowed to have. I cry tears about it often.

  4. Anonymous

    yes, and i’m not proud of it. honestly till this day i still think about what i have done. But the decision was my own, i don’t blame anyone for it, i blame myself. It was the start of my life and i the thought of me not ready for motherhood or even marriage flooded my head. I have one adorable little baby now…and i love him to bits. But i have yet to forget i actually gone thru the procedure. I have never told anyone about it… this is the first time i’m telling it out. thank you…

  5. Anonymous

    never have, never will. its ending a life. i dont understand why people cant understand that concept… especially mothers, of all people, who have gone through a pregnancy from conception to birth. although i do not hate the person who has had an abortion, i do hate the act of abortion. I believe in a loving, forgiving God, but you first have to believe what you did was wrong to receive forgiveness.

  6. Anonymous

    Yes, at the time in my life it was the right decision for me. Now I have 4 beautiful children, and have the ability to provide them with the life they deserve. Yes, I still think about it, but I know that I cannot chance the choices I made at the time, and I have learned and moved forward with my life….

  7. Anonymous

    I’ve had two abortions and I’m glad I did. I look at my life, where I’m at mentally and financially – it wouldn’t work. The first was a bitter end to my first relationship. It was a mentally abusive one and there was absolutely no way to have that child. I don’t regret them. I know that child would suffer and there are thousands of children that need homes. I’ll have a baby when I’m ready and I hope that whoever is up there when I pass on can respect me for making choices about my own life and body.

  8. AnonYmous

    No and never have. It’s murder actually and its selfish. I’m one of those women that after having one child, it damaged my uterus and i cant have anymore. And to see others aborting left and right, its unfair.

  9. anonymous

    No. But I would if I ever got pregnant again. My marriage, my family, and my sanity could not withstand the stress of even another pregnancy, let alone another child. I will make absolutely certain that doesn’t happen.

    I know a number of people who had abortions. My mom when she got pregnant at age 52, when she was mid-way through menopause and in poor heath. A good friend who never wants to have children, but experienced a taste of motherhood in the three months that she carried a baby, and gained a whole new appreciation both for her own body and for women who go through pregnancy. Another friend felt it was what she had to do at the time, but still had remorse for it. The decision, the circumstances, and the effect that it has on women are so personal and deep. It is impossible to generalize about the necessity or the ethics.

  10. Anonymous

    Yes, about 6 months prior to being married because financially we decided we weren’t ready. A few years later we had two wonderful children who have grown to be successful, loving adults — and whom we had before we were financially ready. To this day, 25+ years later, I wonder who the child would have been that didn’t join our family — a doctor? peace maker? professor? I think of that child often and regret my decision to this day.

  11. Veronica

    No. I never have and never will. I was married to an verbally and mentally abusive man for 10 years and I really chose to not have children with him, so the whole entire time I was on the pill. I left and divorced him at the end of 2001. I met my current husband in June 2003 and we got married the following year. We have a beautiful little baby girl now.

    I’m so glad and relieved that I never wanted to have children with my first husband (even when he insisted that we have a child so we could “get back together…’ which is proof of how mentally unstable he is!”) LOL

  12. Anonymous

    I never had and I never will. I’ve always been against the act of abortion. I know people who have had them (some girls in college, my mom had one, her best friend had one when young) and every single one has regretted it. And I know women who got pregnant unexpectedly (my best friend at age 15, another close friend while in college, my mothers best friend got pregnant twice on the pill) who had their babies and have never ever regretted that decision.

  13. Anonymous

    Yes, I did and I wish that I hadn’t. I wish I would have sucked up the fear and told my parents instead of being so scared to tell them. Coulda, shoulda, woulda, I believe God has a plan for us, he knows our sins before we do. I honestly believe that that my life wouldn’t be the way it is today, with 3 amazing boy and one daughter adopted through foster care. I’m now able to serve the Lords in ways that I couldn’t have before. Don’t get me wrong, I know that abortion is wrong in His eyes, I’m just saying this is my life.

  14. Kristi

    Yes, and I do regret it. I wish I would have just sucked it up and told my parents instead of being fearful. However, I believe that my life is already planned out, I’ve been forgiven, God knows our sins even before we make them. We have the choice. I don’t believe He wanted that by any means. But, I wouldn’t have the family I do now and I wouldn’t be serving the Lord the way I am. I still think about and it saddens me, But after counseling I have moved on.

  15. Anonymous

    Yes, I’ve had 3. The first one was when I was 16. I hadn’t been with my boyfriend for very long, and I knew I wasn’t ready. I did cry for days. The second one, with the same boyfriend, was when I was 17. This time, I felt more guilty, but knew I was close to graduation, and college. I had already registered, and I also knew my parents would be pissed, especially since I had gone behind their backs to date this guy in the first place. So that’s the second one. By this time, I’ve realized that my guy wasn’t thinking of my well-being very much, as he refused to wear ‘a raincoat, it doesn’t feel the same’……..so I tried other alternatives on my own, to try and make sure it didn’t happen again. My mother, being a strict one and was raised on a farm, finally decided that maybe I should go on the pill. Well, as I’m waiting for my period, and deciding that I should break up with this guy, I faint in front of my mom as she altered my senior prom dress, because I’m Pregnant!!!!!! Can’t – won’t – no way am I doing this again!!!! So tell the parents, disappoint them to high heaven, graduate, get married and have a beautiful baby boy, who will graduate from college this year, right before Christmas. He’s been a total joy, and we’re very close. I did end up divorcing the boyfriend/husband, but not until we had another wonderful son, who will start college in two weeks. Both boys mean everything to me!! Shortly after the divorce, things come out and my parents find out about the two I’ve done. They end up feeling badly, like they let me down, but finally convinced me, that it takes two, and it wasn’t all my fault. I made those choices, I can’t take them back, so I try and be the best mom possible to what I have! Soon, I re-marry a wonderful guy, and 7 months after we marry, I’m pregnant!! We’re sooo excited, we’re making plans, and happy to be adding to the sons we already have, since he brought one with him to our marriage. The boys are excited, and we can’t be happier. Until one day at work, I go to the restroom, to find my underwear soaked in blood. And for a mom, who has had wonderful & fabulous pregnancies and easy deliveries, I’m sooooo freaked!! I am immediately taken to the hospital, where I’m given medication to try and stop the bleeding, and my baby is still alive at this point. I am sent home to bedrest, and ordered to keep my feet up. My mental and emotional being are an absolute thread at this point, and 3 days later, I hear from my doctor that the baby’s heartbeat is gone. I am a mess, my husband is not feeling any emotion so he can deal with me. Thru the D & C, the story is that I cried and screamed the entire time. When I wake up, I start all over again. That one was NOT my intention, and I have to wonder if my emotions that came to the surface was my way of getting it all out for the other two. After the D & C, I was told, no getting pregnant for 3 months!! Well, I tried to listen to the doctor, but 6 weeks later, I know something is different. And sure enough, the doctor tells me two weeks later, that I’m 12 weeks along – yes! She was a beautiful baby girl, and she starts HS in 3 weeks! She’s my buddy, my shopping pal & we’re very very close. I did have one more, and then the body said enough. So in 10 years, my body went thru 7 pregnancies. I don’t think I would change the first one, not at that age, but I would try harder to prevent the second one. And the third one was soooo not my choice. But heaven prevailed, and I’m blessed with beautiful, healthy kids. Things happen for a reason, I firmly believe that.

  16. Anonymous

    Yes I have twice and it was difficult both times and I cried both times…I was in my late twenties and unmarried and I did not want children at the time…now I realize how selfish it was…I now have 2 beautiful girls and would never do such a thing and I sometimes wonder why and how I did it the times I did…my parents and my sister know and a couple of my friends but I am so ashamed that my current friends do not know…I try to forgive myself but it is difficult and I think of it often and I can’t wathc movies that talk about the subject and it happened over ten years ago

  17. -

    I did when I was 19. My boyfriend left the decision up to me entirely. He supported me either way. We went through it together 100%. I decided then and there to marry him. Ten years and two beautiful children later I am more in love with him I could ever hoped for. He is the best father. I do not regret my decision. At the time we were not ready. It was all in the name of love. I didn’t want a broken family. I thank God every day for blessing us more than I deserve.

  18. Anonymous

    Yes. I had one when I was younger (17)… more so not my choice my parents and I hated them for making me do it up until recently! I would have never been able to accomplish what I already have in life and I realize that now. But now I have a one kid. He is my world and I can provide for him and give him everything that I would of never been able to give to the child that I lost. I think about it don’t get me wrong, But I have been blessed with a happy family and for that reason I regret or hate what had happend.

  19. Anonymous

    No, never have as I could never kill another person. I use to have a friend who used it as her form of birth control and well that friendship didn’t last. I do not think anyone is ever in the perfect situation to have kids, but we all waited till we had the perfect relationship, perfect house, were rich and so on the human population would have died out. I don’t know…murder is murder…

  20. Anonymous

    Yes, I’ve had two. One by choice, not that I’m proud of it. I was 18, just graduated high school, and deathly afraid to tell my mother. Was it right, I don’t think so. At the time I was young and dumb and saw no other choice.

    I happened to marry (and am still married 12 years later) to the father of the baby. We decided a few years after being married that we wanted to start our family. At 21 weeks at “the” ultrasound, it was determinded that I had been leaking amniotic fluid and would have to terminate the pregnancy. I was given medicine to make me go into labor. It was the most painful experience of my entire life. I held my son’s lifeless body in my arms and cried.

    Two years later, and six weeks early, I welcomed my beautiful daughter into this world. Two years later, my son joined our family. I don’t want anymore, but I thank God for blessing me with the two beautiful children that I do have.

  21. anonymous

    I’m always shocked by how judgmental we women are of one another and our choices and experiences. I was very lucky never to conceive until I wanted to have a child, but I would never judge another woman’s choice. I think it’s wrong to force a woman to have an abortion, and I also think it’s wrong to force a woman to bear a child.

  22. Anonymous

    Yes, and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I was a freshman in college and was totally unprepared for the onslaught of boys trying to get in my pants. I had lived a sheltered life. One of those boys got me drunk and took advantage of me. I thought abortion was my only choice considering all the expectations my family had on me. Honor student, talented — could be anything I wanted to be. I didn’t regret it until I had my own children and then I started thinking about the child that never would be. I’m a great mom. I sometimes look at my own children and wonder if they resemble what that child would have looked like. I should have at least had that baby and given him or her to someone who could raise him at that time with at least allowing me to be a visitor in his life. He or she would be a senior in high school now. I often wonder what kind of person they would be.

  23. annie

    I would NEVER have an abortion. There are many ” want to be ” parents out there that would love to have kids but either cant because of something wrong or they are too afraid of going through birth. Thank god i chose ADOPTION when i had my son at 17 yrs old. I just hope everyone who reads this and gets pregnant just gives their kid up for adoption if they dont want them.

  24. Amy

    I agree with anonymous on Sept 21 at 7:44p. It is really sad how we ridicule, condemn, and bash each other for decisions that we have made through out our lives. I don’t agree with abortion and though I’ve never been in the position to make that decision, I don’t think I would choose abortion. But, the important word is CHOOSE. I always turn it around and ask other women how they would feel if they were FORCED to have an abortion (such as in a case where health was a factor) and they were not allowed to CHOOSE which road they wanted to take, the road that felt right for them.

    I’m a mom through adoption and have been unable to conceive myself. Yes, it saddens me when I see someone who decides to have an abortion because I know so many families, including my own, who would jump at the chance to have a baby. However, it isn’t my choice. It isn’t my decision and it shouldn’t be.

  25. Anonymous

    I think it is wrong of the people on this site to talk about murder and God and judging…if you don’t want one, don’t have one. Abortion is rarely an easy decision for anyone, and children should be brought into this world with love and happiness, and a desire to be had. Keep your judgements to yourself on a site like this, where people are sharing their most personal thoughts and regrets!

  26. Anonymous

    No even when we got pregnant and there was a chance for a disabled child thank goodness our tests came back fine but just to hear the dr talk down to me about that I wasnt even considering it but we wanted to know for sure and be prepaired for the event of a disable child. The dr felt I shouldnt even go on with the amnio if I needed to know so bad. Whatever, I needed to know regardless of how she felt about abortion. I do believe its there and its your body and your choice but not something I felt I could live with myself so no not me.

  27. Jenn

    I have never had an abortion, but I would not say that I NEVER will. I haven’t ever been in the situation that some of these honest women on this site have been in. I use to say “I would never have an abortion, how can anyone do that?” Then when I broke up with my now husband when we were dating, I missed my period and I could have sworn that I was definatly pregnant, but weeks later I got my period and I was not pregnant. During the time I thought I was pregnant, I actually researched different places that I could go to have an abortion and I didn’t even tell my ex-bf (my husband now). I was so scared and mad at myself for getting in such a position but at the time my life was a complete mess and I didn’t feel like I was emotionally stable enough to go through having another child at that time. I have a daughter who will be nine soon from my first marriage. I thank God that I wasn’t pregnant and I didn’t have to make the choice on whether or not to keep the baby. I do sympathize with women who have been faced with that situation and feel guilty for the choices they have made. We have all made mistakes, I have made a ton. It is hard to do but the best thing is to leave the past behind, you made the choice and it’s over now. Be a blessing in someones elses life and share your stories at a teen center or a Planned Parenthood type of clinic, maybe your experience can prevent another woman from feeling the pain you feel and keeping her baby or giving it to a loving family who is desperate for a child..

  28. Anonymous

    I have 3 times. I don’t like to think about it. The first time I was 15, my first love. I knew I was soooo not ready. A kid myself. 2nd time, I was stupid. In my 20’s. Premiscuous, not thinking. Was in love, still a kid. I have put those behind me. It was the right thing to do then. The one that haunts me from time to time is the abortion I had(after my first). I found out that I would have a downs syndrome child. I was not strong enough to deal with it. I had my son after a year or so later. I always think something will happen to my son because of that. It is how I punish myself I’m sure. I have 2 beautiful children, & think about it often. I’m not saying I wouldn’t make the same decision, glad I will never have to go thru that again. i

  29. a-non-i-mus

    i never have. after my separation with my husband, of which i had had a relationship for fourteen years, i was stupid. i acted out. became promiscuous. he was the only one i had ever been with. i never knew sex with anyone else. so i learned. realized a few weeks ago i may be pregnant. thought if i was, i’d have an abotion. i have always been antiabortion. always been on a soapbox about not commiting murder, standing up for life, and then myself, me, got into a situation where i knew i couldn’t handle mentally or financially another child. i already have two children. their dad’s not around, and its all on me. thank God last nite i took a test and i’m not. but still, right this sec, i know the decision i would make if i came up that way and it haunts me. and i haven’t even done it.

  30. Anonymous

    No. Fortunately I never had to make that decision. When I was younger I would have. I am pro-choice. The thing that upsets me is how girls are treated when they choose to keep their babies. My niece who got pregnant ten years ago at 16 kept her baby. She recently was telling me how incredibly mean strangers were to her for making the choice to not have an abortion. One woman came up to her and told her she was going to hell for her choice. I voted Democratic, but it really upset me how Sarah Palin’s daughter was treated for choosing to keep her baby. She was probably the first politician’s daughter to have made that decision. Anyway, we all need to be more understanding of young girls who are pregnant and support them instead of judge them, regardless of the choice they make.

  31. ladychanel

    yes, once. It was a horrible experience. It was in the early 90’s, and there were protesters yelling at me and calling me a “baby killer” as I walked out of the clinic with my mother. They were holding signs and were awful hateful people. it didn’t matter to them why I had done it, but I have carried the memories of that day w/me since then. I feel it is a very personal decision, and that it should be between the woman, her physician, and her spiritual leader. No one is pro-abortion, being pro-choice is simply that, having the choice to do what we feel is best for our bodies.

  32. Nicole

    I have have 3 abortions. I am not ashamed of any of them or I wouldn’t have had more that the first one. I am grateful that I was able to safely have the procedures, and everyone I encounted was very concerning and thoughtful. Here’s to us women who have to endure so many things in our lives!!!!

  33. Anonymous

    No I haven’t it… When I was 15 my doctor at the time told me i couldn’t have any kids… I was heart boken, I believe it because as a young female i wasn’t using condoms all the time and i never got pregnant… when i mate my boyfriend ( Now His My Husband) at age 17, I told him i couldn’t had an kids so we stop using condoms… After a 1yr being together we broke up but we got back together 3 monthers later.. Less then a year i got pregnant from him…. I was sooooo happy but i was still young. I didn’t know if i wannna it.. i did think about abortion but i was so happy that i was aboule to get pregnant that i wanna keep it… a year later i was pregnant again… And once again i was thinking to abort it… but i really don’t have the heart for it… Now I got married, My Boy is 2yrs 1/2 and my babygirl is 7months old….I don’t have much money or have everything i want but My soooooo Happy with then.. They are My All… By haveing them I really don’t want anything else!!

  34. Anonymous

    I’ve never had an abortion because I look at it as murder. I can’t understand how teenagers get pregnant once and have an abortion (okay, it was an “accident”…) but then they continue to have unprotected sex, keep getting pregnant and have multiple abortions… ABORTIONS ARE NOT BIRTH CONTROL!!!

    I was reading through a few posts and saw that a few of you had abortions 2 or 3 times as teenagers… I just don’t get it I guess…

    I have two children, I’m 23, and I’m a single mom. Am I struggling?? Hell yes! Am I proud of myself? Hell yes! Do I get child support? Hell no! Do I regret the choices I made? Hell no!

    I was blessed by God to have my children and I would not have ended their lives for ANY reason. Even if a doctor had told me that it could kill myself or the child if I continued the pregnancy. I’d rather give my child a chance at life (even if it’s short) than take their life away before it’s even began…

    My favorite thing to point out to people is that 3 weeks after conception, a baby’s heart starts beating. If a person is in the hospital and his heart stops beating, what does that mean?? He’s dead!! If you overdose on drugs and your heart stops beating, what does that mean? You’re dead!!! So what do you think happens when you have an abortion? The baby’s heart stops beating and it’s dead. It’s been killed by “lethal injection” or whatever other ways they do abortions these days…Killing someone is murder. Once that baby has a heart beat, it is a living human being. At least that’s my perspective.

    Sometimes I do wish I could have a night here and there without my kids just to go out and have fun with the very few friends that I have… Unfortunately, I have chosen my path and God has sent me down it. I thank him every day for my beautiful children and while I am disappointed in their father’s I’d never call my children mistakes or accidents.

    That’s my view on the topic… Sorry if I’ve offended… This is a very touchy subject for me.

  35. Anonymous

    Yes… two. One when I was just turning 15 and then one about 6 months later. For future reference – pulling out doesn’t work.

    However, a year later I ended up pregnant again, and didn’t know. I miscarried very far into term. I ended up developing anorexia from the stress of being so grown up when I was so young.

    I have never been able to conceive children. My ex-husband was found to be sterile, so I assumed it was him. Until I remarried and was still unable to conceive.

    At the time, I wouldn’t have listened to anyone telling me that I was potentially killing the only children I would have ever known. Today, I live with deep sorrow and regret. I was too young – and the sex wasn’t anything to write home about. As I recall, I cried nearly every time anyway.

    But now I am 42 and childless. Those I graduated with have their own children graduating from H.S. and college now. I deal with it… but being an only child with only one surviving family member, I will be alone soon. No legacy, no Thanksgivings, Christmases with family. It is a very empty place at times.

    If you are a young lady who is having sex… be safe! Don’t allow yourself to get pregnant! It isn’t worth the potential risk of a life of wondering what they would have looked like, what color eyes they would of had, what they would have grown up to become… it isn’t worth risking never being able to conceive. It isn’t worth the eventual sorrow you will feel for what you did.

    I will never say abortions are not a woman’s choice. They are a choice. And with being young and seeking the approval of our parents, and still wanting to be a child in their eyes – I understand why it is done. But you must ask yourself why you are having sex so young. I know why I did it and excuse or reason – it was foolish. You will have your WHOLE LIFE to enjoy making love. Have fun being young while you can. You only get a few years as a teen – but a lifetime as an adult.


  36. Anon

    It is a wonder that I never did end up with an un-planned pregnancy. I took many chances and was ill prepared. But today, I realize the “choice” part of pregnancy comes WAY before the conception…it’s the poor choice to hop into bed with someone that I made….the choice about taking a life is not mine to make–never was–never will be. That other little heartbeat inside a woman’s body–it belongs to an entirely different person that depends her body to live.

    It was a very close friend that found herself in that situation and called me to tell me she was “losing the baby.” She had an appointment the next day, but she called me because everyone else told her to do it, and she thought I might just be the one person who would tell her not to. So, I dod tell her not to. I was devastated. My heart raced. I tried to tell her I would get her any help she needed. What could I do to spare her baby’s life? She hung up on me (the good ole days before cell phones and caller ID). I felt so responsible for losing her baby. Why couldn’t I have saved that life? I grieved that child as if it were my own.

    Then, several years later, it was the man I thought was the love of my life who brought me to the cold, har truth. Early in my 20’s, during election year political rhetoric, the topic of abortion came up. He said if I were to become pregnant, it would “screw his shot at a political career” (?!#&*?) Oh, he said he’d “do the right thing and all, but it would suck” if I got pregnant.

    It wasn’t until then that I FINALLY got it!! Ladies, do you see the trail of lies we are buying into? This is NOT LOVE! This is a path of hopeless destruction! Women are killing babies in the name of “love” that is false and empty. If a guy wants you to have an abortion, or leaves you with your “problems” in your lap for you to decide what to do with “it”—HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU…HE IS USING YOUR BODY!!! Maybe you don’t know better—I didn’t either. But that was my wake-up call!!!! That’s when I became a true feminist!! After that, I never allowed my body to be “used” by another guy that wasn’t interested in getting to know me for who I really was–without the sex. The guy that won me, as the prize I know I truly am, was the one who could honor me, treat me like a lady, and wait for me like a gentleman. Today, we have five children and (one painful miscarriage), and nearly 13 years of marriage together. They weren’t all “planned” and I’ve had my fair share of fears about how we’d handle it, but I don’t have any regrets, and I know my man would walk through fire for me, because he proved it a long time ago. Girls, WE need to wait for guys like this…don’t settle for less.

    If you regret your abortion, check out “silentnomore.org” or google rachels vineyard.

    I DO stand out in front of abortion clinics occasionally. But I don’t yell at anyone. For every car that drives in, my heart races like it did on the night my friend called me. I pray for clarity; for the kind of support that every woman in crisis pregnancy is secretly in need of to find them; and for an end to the silent genocide that happens every day in our country that goes on AND on with our government’s legal sanctioning. I cry. I hope someone will stop, turn around or walk out and say they changed their minds, and pray for healing. I just want women in an unwanted pregnancy to know someone cares—I care–and I stand out there to represent that…and frankly, so do my kids!! They’d love to have another baby in our family.

    Our country is missing about 25% of the population that could have been born since 1971…due to abortion! That’s nuts! Could one of those people have found the cure for cancer? diabetes? Discovered new planets? Been teacher of the year? A Nobel peace prize winner? A great Olympic athlete? A rabbi or priest?

    Life is precious…every single one, even the one you’re not prepared for…imagine the possibilities…

  37. Rather Not Say

    I have never had an abortion & never will. I have 2 children & pregnant with my 3rd & ending it here.

    If you feel that when you give birth you will kill the baby & years down the line abortion is for you, but other then that. I believe it’s taking a life. Your not God to decided to take someone’s life. There are a lot of kids that need a loving place and parents to love & care for them.

    Give a child a chance to live. Who are you to take someone’s life???

  38. Lauren

    No, I’ve always been firmly against abortion. My mother admitted to me she had an abortion when she was engaged to my Dad because “she couldn’t disappoint her parents.” Since she told me that as a young teen our relationship has been very strained. I’ve often wondered why it was so easy for her to abort that baby yet she wanted my brother and I? Why us? Just because they were married? My brother is not religious but very pro-life, and I cannot begin to tell you the harm this knowledge has caused us. Please- if you have had an abortion DO NOT TELL YOUR CHILDREN!!! It is not something they need to know, and no matter how much you reassure them that you love them they will always have doubts. Now as a mother of 3 children, 2 of whom were very unexpected and I had all within 3 years, so I know the challenges of unplanned pregnancies- abortion seems even more horrific to me. It is not the right choice under any circumstances.

  39. Anonymous

    yes i had one. i was unfaithful to my husband became pregnant and i had an abortion at 4 weeks. This is the worst and bigges sin i have ever commited and i feel terrible of what i did. I know everything i did was wrong and i regret everything so much, but things are done and i cant change the pass.

  40. Stiletto con Carne

    I personally am pro-life, and politically pro-choice. I try not to judge other women’s decisions. However, I do not think abortion should be used as a repeated form of birth control! >: (

    C’mon women: if you do have unprotected sex and know you aren’t ready for a child – get the morning after pill! In Canada you don’t even need a doctor’s RX, they can be dispensed by a pharmacist. Don’t sit around “wondering” & then put yourself through the (potential) agony of having to decide if you want to terminate a pregnancy.

    I am a mother of 2 & both of my kids were “surprises” LOL but I have no regrets … Ready or not, I love my babies : )

  41. Cinderella

    No and never intend to. I’m pro-life 100%. At one time i was pro-choice, but then i did some research and saw how they were killing these babies. The silent screams, 4th degree chemical burns head to toe, and just the thought that some women can’t find it in their hearts to love a baby unless it’s perfect…it was heart wrenching. Are we perfect? I know i’m not but God keeps me alive. When you love someone, you won’t hurt them. Being aborted must be a most terrible pain- in the one place where they should feel the most protected. My Mama chose to let me and my brother live. I chose to let my two little angels live (both pregnancys were high risk). I wouldn’t change my descision for anything in this world. Proverbs tell us that God hates hands that shead innocent blood. This is dangerous business, doing something that allmighty God Himself has warned us that He hates.

  42. susan

    I have just took the tablet the doctor gave me from the clinic-the abortion pill, need to go back in 2 days for another 4. I wish i never took the tablet, i wish i could turn back the
    last 24 hours. I will never be able to live with myself. PLEASE think about what you are doing before you go ahead with an abortion, because you will never be the same again if you do.

  43. Anonymous

    I really think I couldn’t. I have two sisters who have had them and I often wonder what those little angels in heaven would look like act like and just BE.
    I had a miscarriage and to this day 9 years later I grieve for that baby. Every thanksgiving which was my due date I get sad and depressed. I have two healthy wonderful children and am blessed with them its just hard knowing they could have had an older sibling. And now my husband and I can’t have anymore.
    Abortion may sound like an answer but so does adoption and better yet just don’t have sex. You can pet and suck and finger but don’t stick it in with added protection condom and the pill. Because nothing is 100% safe except no sex.
    To all women out there I understand you thought was right but maybe you can help a young teen out now by saying here’s my story….
    A silent tear to all of you who have courage to come out and say what and why.

  44. Anonymous

    Isn’t this blog for people who have gone through it and not for others to be judgemental?

    I did it when I was 21 and regret it terribly. I am 33 and pregnant with my second child. I hate that I did it, but am glad at the same time because of where I am in my life. I wouldn’t have the son I have now because I wouldn’t be with my husband. I was in a horrible relationship wit a man who has other kids by other women. I was stupid to have even gotten myself in that situation in the first place. I regret that I made the decision I made, yes. I regret that I put myself in the position, yes. I have never even told my husband about it. I am Catholic, and because I have renewed my relationship with my faith in the past ten years, I feel guilty all of the time.

    Even if you disagree with the decisions of women, realize that to judge them isn’t helping them or the unborn children who have parished due to our decisions. We cannot undo what we have done. All you can do is try to educate others on your beliefs. Abortion is not the answer, you are right.

  45. Cassie

    Hi im 20 years old my husband and i haveen together for almost 2yrs and we had our first baby feb of this year i thought i was ready but im really not im struggling more than he is i dont know who cuz when i was prego i was excited and i thought it would be wonderful i love him to death and i wouldent trade him for anthing in the world but im not ready for another and im on birth control but i think im prego agian im not sure wat to do i hink i need to grow up real fast and just take wat the lord has givin me and take it as a blessing but im still young and im still wwanting to go out and hang out with friends but its extreamly hard to do with a baby plus my hasband and i both work 5pm to 5 am and we hardly get any sleep we only work 4 to 5 days a week but by the time the weekend rolls around we wan to sleep and its hard but i think we can do it i thought i had a qusestion but i guess i dont i just wish i would have waited a year or too but i think we will be ok

  46. Anon

    Yes. Do I look back with regret. No. When I sat down with myself and had that mental discussion with myself, I asked myself will I come to regret this decision. I examined my reservations and options at that very moment in my life. If I chose to terminate, I could not look back with regret. If I chose to keep it, I would have to endure sharing a child with an abuser who I would eventually separate from. That was not an option. My choice was an event in my life. I think about it at the same time every year but I don’t dwell on it. It happened. I’ve made all the right choices in my life, and my life is perfect without disaster. There are speedbumps,trials, tribulations but I am at peace with it all.

    I’m a mother of two now. For those who just can’t understand how I could do such a thing even as a mother now, I think it’s best you worry about yourself. You may answer to God, but I answer to a higher power which is me. 😉

  47. Stacy

    I was forced into a abortion when I was 18 with the threat that the “father” would leave me If I didn’t do it. Being the stupid teenager I was I did it. It was the biggest mistake in my life. If I could go back I would have kept the baby. :( I still see the guy. Alot. I have forgiven him because it was just as much my fault as it was his. I wasn’t ready for kids but It haunted me for years. I have a daughter now who is 1 year old and she is my world. I will regret my decision for the rest of my life.

  48. elizabeth

    so im not sure if i belong here but oh well! i just found out my parents had 2 abortions when they were very young 18 and 20. im 22 and my older siblings would be 30 and 28. Im completely devastated!!! i cant even believe it. She just told me 2 days ago and its obvious how much pain she is still in. I cant say anything to her about it, since i dont want her to hurt more. and i feel so selfish for turning this to about me. but i feel like its a whole different life i could have had a big brother/ sister…… and then its scary im soooo lucky im alive. then i feel like why do i get to live? ugh i feel so horrible for feeling this way. i just cant believe it!!! my poor parents i cant believe they had to make this decision. i cant believe i dont get to meet my siblings.

  49. Anonymous

    I have had one abortion. At 19 years of age and in my second year of university I thought it was the best option for me. I wanted to get through university and get a job before having a child so I would be able to give it the life it deserves. Some of you against abortion say murder is murder.. technically it was not murder when I had my abortion after 5 weeks. The doctor told me it would be the size of a grain and wouldn’t be able to feel anything. If I continued with the pregnancy I would be having the baby in December. Since the abortion I have been able to continue enjoying university and had two holidays. Some may say its selfish but it isn’t.

  50. Anonymous

    First of all, for every cancer-curing rabbi there are probably just as many pick-pockets, drug addicts, rapists, and murderers. People don’t have abortions because they are in a loving, stable relationship and are ready to financially support a child in a healthy way. You ladies DO NOT belong on this thread. Stop being judgmental. You don’t have to like another woman’s decision, but for God’s sake, you don’t have to try and say things that are hurtful about “murdering their babies”. By the way, this isn’t the forum for women who are considering abortions. It’s not like you’re doing some great good here, talking women out of going to the clinic. You’re just making the women who regret their decision feel like sh-t. Way to go, Mother Theresa’s. I’m sure God appreciates your passive-aggressive bullying.

    In case you couldn’t tell, I’ve had two, and don’t regret them. Once when I was 19, I found out that my heroin-addicted boyfriend and I were expecting. At the time, I wasn’t a model citizen myself, and it seemed like a bad situation to bring a child into. Also, I don’t feel guilty that I didn’t feel obligated to carry a baby for nine months and then go into labor to give it away to some other couple. It was my body, and the idea of that was overwhelming. The second time was when my daughter was two years old. My husband and I were having financial problems, and I was on depo-prevara. We found out we were pregnant, and being the loving husband and partner that he is, he told me it was completely up to me. I knew we couldn’t afford another child, and I didn’t want to go through nine months of pregnancy and delivery only to have to explain to my daughter why the baby wouldn’t be coming home with us. I told my OB that I didn’t plan on keeping the pregnancy, and then after some testing found out that it wasn’t viable.
    We’re fortunate enough to be in a better financial situation now and are happily expecting our second child.
    For all of the ladies who have been through this and regret your decisions, I’m so sorry. I remember a period of sadness. I can’t imagine having to live with that for an extended period of time. I hope you find peace. For all of you ladies, who made a different decision when faced with the same situation, I’m glad that you are happy with the choice that you made. I wish you the best. For all you ladies who made the same choice that I made and don’t feel regret. I’m happy for you. For all of the ladies, who have never been in this situation but feel entitled to judge the others here, well, you’re self-righteous and un-Christlike.

  51. Anonymous

    Yes, I’ve had one. My high school boyfriend and I had been broken up for a few months, I went off birth control, we reconciled, had make-up sex, and I ended up getting pregnant. I was calm and collected about it and determined to make it work somehow. When I told my parents, they called me all sorts of horrible names and were not supportive in the least. They kicked me out and told me I couldn’t come back unless I had an abortion. After a week of living in my boyfriend’s place with his four room mates and seeing no alternative, I booked the appointment and went back home. I regret it terribly. The same man and I now have a loving family with two beautiful children, and I’ve had four miscarriages and my pregnancies have only been sustained with progesterone supplements. I don’t know why that one pregnancy didn’t end in miscarriage, and yet when I tried for a baby I couldn’t stay pregnant on my own. I wonder if it’s punishment. It’s been years since it happened and it took me a long time to come to terms with what I’ve done but I don’t think I’ll ever forget it or truly forgive myself 100%.

  52. Sarah

    I just wanted to put a different perspective on this all. I’ve had 2 abortions. Both STUPID MISTAKES but not things i was prepared to give the rest of my life up for. I do not regret my abortions at all. All i have is what if’s every now and again. I have progressed alot in my career. Lost 60 lbs. Been on girly holidays and lived my life to the full. None of which i could have dont with a baby. Everyone tells you how they regret it ?? but there were logical reasons why you did it soo … i find it bizaree. ProLife people only care about the baby until its born then its good luck being dragged up on benefits. I didnt want that and therefore and glad i did what i did.

  53. anonymous

    i might be pregnant and i want an abortion but i believe in spirits and i am scared my unborn baby will haunt me i am 5 weeks gone :(

  54. anonymous

    i think i am pregnant i dont want to be with my boyfriend he is horrible if i have a the baby he will be in my life forever plus i like my life the way it is , i wanted to go on the pill but he was horrible to me until i agreeded not to i wish i had been strong enough to go on the pill then i wouldnt be in this situation i havent told anyone or done a test i am late but done feel pregnant what should i do if i am pregnant please put your self in my shoes and answer thank you ;'(

  55. L

    Yes… I had one with my first husband and I regret it everyday. I always wonder “what if”. We divorced shortly after as a result and even though I re-married and has 3 beautiful children, it breaks my heart wondering about how things might have been different.

  56. anonymous

    no not yet i am though i have made this choice even though i have been a firm believer that it is not right, i have five children and twenty seven, newly separated from my abusive marrige of twelve years, shorty after i met this man that i thought was wonderful, he was for awhile but came emotionally abusive and also started stocking me, i have choose this for these resons , i jumped into a relationship way to fast, got preagnat way to fast,dont want the man in my life or childrens life to have his child i feel it would be unfair to the child to have to endure the emotional abuse also not fair to the other children, five children cost alot and we struggle now as it is also i have chronic depression and my days are almost impossible now

  57. Sarah

    I did.. When I was 19 I married an abusive guy and thought If I had the baby this man would always be a part of me and my life so I aborted.. What a huge mistake!!!!!! I murdered my own child. I now Have three wonderful kids and when I hug them I think of how much I love them.. how much joy they bring to my life and I do wonder about my first child.. Bu I also know My God and know that Hw still loves me and has forgiven me even if I have a hard time forgiving myself. Children are a gift, God is entrusting us with their lives.. trust me there is NEVER a good time to have a baby.. your either jobless… broke… small house… careers.. those are only excuses!! Nothing is a good reason to abort a baby!! NOTHING!! Like me you may be thinking of your feelings now… but your it changes your entire life, Trust me God will always provide for you and your family.. If we make the big girl decision to slep with a man weather he would be a good father or not that is not a childs fault! If God didn’t think you could handle being a mother.. even a single mother He would never have entrusted you to even be pregnant.. but the fact that you are pregnant means He believes in you! I also think that if you are looking through websites on this very topic means you are not fully commited to the idea of having an abortoin.. why make a life altering choice for you and your unborn child on something you are not sure of? trust me it is not the end of the world to have a child.. in fact it is a deeper love than you will ever have with another human being.

  58. Anonymous

    I’ve had 2. One when I was about 15, 8wks along and a freshman in high school. I had a boyfriend who said that it was completely up to me and that he’d support me either way (which didn’t help as I could have used his opinion). I was scared but actually determined to keep the baby…until my mom found it. She basically told me how awful it was that I’d become pregnant, how I’d ruin my life, how hard it is etc and convinced me that terminating would be the best thing for my future. I reluctantly agreed. At 15 I was on my own though, to find a clinic, make the appointment and get the medical insurance needed from the state to take care of it as my mom didn’t want it on her insurance. She and my boyfriend at the time took me to do it, she got me ice-cream after and has never really spoken a word about it since.
    Then I got pg at 18 and she had the same suggestion. This time I said no and had my daughter. I love her, she’s almost 6 now and I’m 25…were doing ok (I’m a single mom), in our own place, nice big car etc…but it’s hard and I hate to say my mom was right. Life would hve been better without a kid. I recognized this early on in my pregnancy with my daughter actually as I quickly began to regret my decision to keep her.
    So when my daughter was about 18 months, I found myself pregnant again. I was on the pill trying to avoid it. And I got an abortion, I was about 9wks. I had no desire to have another baby at all whatsoever.
    I don’t regret the 2nd abortion at all. I’ve learned now as an adult and now that the “baby” fantasy is old, that I don’t particularly like children. With that, I don’t intend to have anymore. I regret the 1st abortion but only because I was rushed into it and pushed into it. It was something I would like to have decided on my own. I don’t know what I would have done but I would like to have done it on my terms.

  59. erin

    i have had two abortions. one a year ago. and one today. both were done medicaly, by the pills, but both were very different. with the first one i was in agonising pain for well over a week with this one i had moderate pain until maybe 6pm, and now at 11pm im fine. stil bleeding but no cramping and no nausia. i do regret having both abortions, but i know i dont want to be a single mum and i know my bf wouldnt stay with me if i had the baby as neither of us are financialy great at the moment and feel too young for kids (im 21 hes 22)

    i hope anyone who has an abortion in the future has an experience like the one i had today i was treated so well, not judged and was very comfortable during my 6 hour visit to the hospital (in merseyside, england)

    good luck!

    p.s. sorry about my spelling/grammer/punctuation. im dyslexic and find it difficult! :)

  60. Anonymous

    I am rather appalled as well by the blatant judgment on this thread. I’ve never had an abortion but my best friend has had two and she doesn’t regret them at all. The first she was 14 and became pregnant from her first sexual encounter. The second she was a single mother with a small child after she had been diagnosed with Huntington’s Disease.

    The way I see it when a woman has an abortion it’s between her and her deity. If you personally think it’s murder don’t have one. But please for the love of god stay out of other peoples personal lives and don’t try to legislate it so that the only legal option is the one you’d pick for yourself.

    It drives me flipping crazy when people go on about all the people that would have existed if only they hadn’t been aborted. The world is overpopulated as it is, we don’t exactly need the population to be 25% bigger then what it is now. We have so many abused and neglected kids needing homes right now as it is, lets take care of them first.

    Also, it strikes me as hypocritical that so so many of the people calling abortion “murder” are also the same ones who don’t want kids to have access to birth control. They throw fits when kids have access to the pill or condoms but then when kids do what kids are going to do because of hormones they aren’t supposed to have abortions either.

    Several people have mentioned adoption as well. I know people who were abused by adopted parents and who are very bitter about having been given away by their birth mother. Giving your child up for adoption does not guarantee they will have a good or better life.

    The bottom line is this, each person and each situation where abortion is considered is unique and each one has a “right” choice for that person and their life. Only that person will be able to decide what is right for them. For some it’s not abortion, for others it is. Like I said before if you don’t approve of abortion don’t have one and if you feel the urge to fight abortion I beg of you to please put your energy into bettering the lives of children already here and already being neglected and abused, there are so so many of them and it would be a better use of ones energies then trying to stop all abortions.

  61. Anonymous

    Yes, 2.

    The first time I was 19 and despite thinking I was madly in love with my boyfriend, the positive pregnancy test was a wake up call. I came to the realization that I wouldn’t be able to spend the rest of my life with a bum like him. I dumped him and had the abortion.

    The second was a few years later. I was on depo, a little late in getting my shot and ended up pregnant. I had broken up with the guy the week before I found out I was pregnant. I was in a much better place than the first one, but knew that I couldn’t bring this child into my family (biracial, product of an affair).

    I wonder what those children would have been like, what kind of mother I would have been like then, but I do not regret my decisions. I was not prepared to the type of mother I wanted to be, the type of mother I am now.

  62. Anonymous

    yes – and I always have and always will regret it. It was a decision that was made during a time of panic and confusion. It’s something I think about daily.

  63. Anonymous

    Yes, I have had abortions. I dont need to explain why and I dont need to justify my decisions to anyone or say how many! It was MY choice and I do not regret having made my choice. Women have the right to chose and should not have those rights taken away. Those who do not agree should not preach the sermon and lay down the laws of life – not unless they themselves live the life of a Saint! I have living children and I love them – that is all that counts.

  64. Bumb1edee

    No but was offered one at 17 weeks pregnant when my waters broke early. Just couldn’t do it even though she only had a 10% chance, sadly after a brave fight she was born at 31 weeks and died the day after as her lungs hadn’t developed properly. So I have been there but i would never judge a woman for the choices she makes, because you have no idea of the turmoil you go through

  65. Brenda

    I’ve had one at the age of 31, old enough to know better but too worried about hurting someone else. Let me explain. I had been dating a 43 year old man for just a few months, in the very beginning of our intimate relationship he explained to me that two prominent urologists had determined that he would not be able to father children without help and that his 12 year marriage was childless because of him. SO we went without protection. Within 2 months I was pregnant. Of course with his medical history in his ammunition he denied that it was his and when he realized that ooops maybe something had changed and it could be his he began pressuring me for an abortion. He used the excuses of “who is going to pay for diapers, daycare, and everything else you can’t” and “I’m going to lose my house because I can’t afford a baby and if my credit goes bad I will lose my job (he has to be able to qualify for a company credit card for his position) AND “the baby will probably be deformed because I was exposed to exploding chemical depots in the war (he is a Desert Storm vet). I’ve never been about destroying anyone elses life, so after all the harassing phone calls (even while I was at work) I went ahead with the termination and it was the worst thing I could have ever done. Needless to say I will never forgive him or myself.

  66. Anonymous

    i had an abortion when i was 19 or 20 years old, i cannot remember. i was studying in college in a big city and met this boy who is 2 years older than me. i fell in love and when i found out i was pregnant, he did not want the baby cause he say we cannot afford as he is not earning a good salary. His brother took me for the abortion and i just went along without having any say. then he left for overseas to work and he correspond. but 2 years later i found someone else cause i cannot accept the lost of the baby and he was broken hearted. Till today, I am 50 now i cannot accept the fact of doing such a stupid thing and i always cry . Recently me ex-boyfriend has to come back and haunt me through facebook.

  67. Anonymous

    Yes. I had one at 36 years old. It was a total shock. I did not want more children. We were barely getting by with the two we have and I did not want to start over with a new one. I am tired, exhausted, and done with giving birth. I don’t feel bad at all. Life isn’t peaches and cream and not all of us get pregnant only when we want to. I was being very safe also and we were using double protection. I would get my tubes tied if I had insurance, but I don’t so I can’t. It had been twelve years since I’d had children, so I was perfectly safe with my husband for 12 years with no surprise pregnancies. One fluke. It happens. I don’t think it is murder when you are in the first trimester, especially. The people who think it is murder also think birth control like Plan B is evil and should be outlawed and that sex should only be done for procreation. They also think IVF is murder. Give me a break. I live in the real world. Good luck ladies.

  68. Miranda

    Yes, I’ve had an abortion. I had two children already and was overwhelmed with all the work and time and sacrifice. I knew I couldn’t do it again without losing my sanity and my physical health as well. I did what I had to do at the time so my other children would have their mother with a healthy mind and body. I knew it was the right thing to do and I do not regret it all.

  69. anonymous

    I had one at 24 but mine was very painful because my mom forced me to have one since I got pregnant before marriage and in our religion or culture or whatever that’s wrong, I really wanted my child and my mom knew it too but had a panic attack when she found out and told me to go to another town if I didn’t abort the baby she even called it a creature and judged the father who is my husband today and we have two kids. she made me feel as if I couldn’t have the kid financially even though I had a job with health benefits, and she has had two abortions herself after meand my sister were born and I always felt they were a brother and sister. looking back it was traumatic I still wish I had that child and she didn’t believe in me ans is divorced with my dad since I was 13 and I wish I went to another town and was not after her approval in life because life has taught me she is not happy for me, as if she doesn’t know people have sex. I wish she didn’t force me and wasn’t so judgemental of my husband, she even had the nerve to talk bad about me to my husband behind my back trying to fill his ears, and I am not close to her she is overly critical and has taught me how tosimply show her I’m trong and have my life under control and I’m going to tell my story to the world, I deserve better I even achieved an accounting degree if she likes abortions she can open an abortion clinic.

  70. waca

    Yes, have 3, one at 17 and I was at school , the second with my exboyfriend with whom I was living about 3 years but I decided I wasn´t ready to give the life I want for my son and the third one with the same guy but the same we were having problems and I was going to live him he want to keep the baby but I don’t, I didnt want a father like that for my sons life. So by now Im 28 yeayr old, I dont feel retreat, I feel happy with my husband we have been together for 4 years and still don’t want kids. =)

  71. Anonymous

    I had an abortion four days ago. I was 9 weeks and 4 days according to the sonogram. I knew I was pregnant when my period was just a few days late, I took the test and my feeling was right. I felt no immediate connection with the baby, or fetus, whichever you prefer. But a week later it really hit me. There was a precious little life growing inside me. I bonded with it, and felt a deep love for it. The situation wasn’t great though. My boyfriend wasn’t interested in keeping it, he was very adamant that I abort. In my heart of hearts I knew it would ruin me. I already loved this being so much. I tried to plea with him, I told him I could raise my child alone and that I was basically giving him a get out of jail free card. But he thought keeping it would ruin my life. I am an excellent student at the best public university in the US and he wanted me to fulfill my dreams. Or so he claims, I think underlying all this were his own selfish reasons. We are by no means that young. We are 23 and I think we are old enough to own up to our responsibilities.
    In any case, I felt more than pressured to have the abortion. And realistically I have no way of knowing if I would even be able to provide for a child. I am 100% flat broke. I never have more than a few hundred dollars in my account because I focus on school, not work. I trully wanted that child. And though the future was unsure, I think I could have found a way. I am in so much pain over the loss of my child. I consider it a loss and I am grieving. My decision wasn’t really MY decision. My boyfriend made me feel like it was an obligation. I pleaded with him down the very last few minutes before the procedure. The people at the clinic had given me a sedative, which I now regret. I didn’t realize the procedure had even started because I felt so drugged. By the time I did come to it was too late. I had wanted to stop the procedure at the very last moment, I just wanted to show my boyfriend I had tried but some deep gut feeling told me I couldn’t. But the sedative took over and I losy myself.
    I would give anything in the world to go back and save that life. I will never forget that precious little life. I miss knowing it was growing inside of me.
    Abortion is not usually an easy decision. To some it may be and if that is the case I am happy for you. But for a lot of women the decision is the most difficult choice to make. Everyone has their own reasons, and they are all valid. However, if you already feel a bond with that fetus, that decision will be devastating. If you do feel a bond, learn from my experience. I am living in agony. And if some of you do decide to continue the pregnancy, just be sure you are ready. I know of a few women who weren’t ready and their children suffer for it. If you aren’t ready to give them love and attention do not bring them into this world. Children need those things, don’t damage them if you aren’t ready.
    I read somewhere that you never regret the children you have, but you do regret the ones you didn’t have. In my case, i have never regretted anything as much as i do this. I am finding it hard to live. My life is no longer what it used to be. And more than anything I miss my baby.


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