Do you have a secret crush on someone?

Do you have a secret crush on someone? Is it someone you see often?

(remember, at when you respond, you do NOT have to leave your name, email or link to your blog… but if you want to – feel free)



282 thoughts on “Do you have a secret crush on someone?

  1. Anonymous

    It’s not a secret. I have a huge crush on my tattoo artist. My husband knows….the man is hot….I would never act on anything but crushes are fun.

  2. peeking in

    I have for the past 15 years on a friend, my husband knows. I was always too scared of rejection to say anything and then I found out he didn’t want to have kids, I did (how do you compromise on that?). Then I met my husband, who is quite a bit older than me. So we joke that my crush will be my second husband, after the kids grow up and my ‘old fart’ kicks the bucket. But just this last weekend I went to visit my crush – we still keep in touch – and … well … the feeling just wasn’t there. At least not like before. I mean, he is still yummy and all that, but … all I wanted was to be with my husband (he is working out of state and I won’t see him until Christmas) and I wish my crush would grow up already, he seems to have the ‘Peter Pan’ syndrome. I don’t know maybe I’ve outgrown him.

  3. Anonymous

    Well I have a crush on a close friend of mine she is sexy, beautiful and Im not sure if shes into woman because Im afraid to act on anything. But i would love to kiss her, but I would never try anything. She doesnt seem to be into woman at all….. It would be my first time….

  4. Anonymous

    Yes. An ex boyfriend contacted me 6 months ago on email and we have been talking ever since. Sometimes I feel guilty, like I’m betraying my husband, but then other times I remember that I’ve told my husband what I need from him emotionally and physically and he doesn’t try, doesn’t change, doesn’t give me what I need. So I feel like I’ve been up front with him in that respect. My ex gives my the conversation, the affirmation, and the stimulation I need. We’ve been on and off for 21 years. I wonder if he is the man I was supposed to marry. I feel very lucky though that he lives far away, because we are like magnets – if we were any closer there would be trouble!

  5. Anonymous

    I have a crush on my husband’s old college roomate (and I think he’s had a crush on me too). My husband knows but it isn’t anything we talk about. I think my husband is insecure about it all even though neither of us would act on anything. We joke though that if my husband dies I’m going to marry my crush.

  6. Anonymous

    For a while I did. To a certain extent I still do. He is related to my husband , and I thought perhaps it was simply because of that .. hormones or something …

    I spoke to him about it finally..the crush,not my husband ..and got things out in the open. I realized he had no interest in me. Tha hurt, but I was also glad.

    I think he is a very arrogant person , yet I still feel a bit of a physical attraction him. I almost had sex with him ( long before my husband and I were togethor ) and so I do remember being intimate with him… I know he is better endowed than my husband..

    I try not to think about him anymore, really. It does me no good.

  7. sassy.sunshine

    ok this is weird, but a while ago I had a crush on one of my religious leaders. I would find myself staring @ him at church & wondering what he sees in his wife. I decided it was just purely physical – he’s pretty good looking. & I prayed to get over it. :S

  8. Anonymous

    Yes, I have a crush on someone. I recently got back in touch with an old boyfriend I had in 1991 when I was in the Army. We started e-mailing and then texting and then talking on the phone almost everyday. He is single, never been married. I have been married for 9 years. Just hearing my old b/f voice brings back so many good memories. My husband would be heartbroken if he knew I was secretly talking to this guy. I can’t help but be attracted to him. I would never act on it, but its nice to have someone to flirt with.

  9. Anonymous

    i have a crush on my ex husband and i also
    hang out with him. my husband is going to be really sad if he finds it out.

  10. Anonymous

    Yes I do have a crush on someone I am not married but my other half and I have been together for 6 years and has know eachother for about 15 to 17 yrs and we have 2 kids. but just recently I got back in contact with an ex that I was with before my other half now and all of the feelings came back!! this is the first time I have looked at someone else in that way since I have been with my other half, about 8 months ago he told me he just doesn’t want to say I Love You anymore!!! and he hasn’t and that hurts and it has also pushed me away!! and this ex gives me what I want not physical cause I am in the states and he is in Spain so we just talk over the net. but it feels soooooo good to have someone show me attention and the feeling of being wanted.. But the upsetting part is it will never be this the ex again. for one he is gone for another 2 years and I have 2 kids that I dont expect any man to accept, I don’t think he wants me the way I want him, he sends me mixed messages but I just think it is harmless flirting like we use to do in high school well on his part anyway!! I do plan on leaving my other half it has been a long time coming. WOW I feel so much better now that I got it out! Thanks

  11. Confused

    I recently quit a career job to follow my dream of opening a business of my own. It’s been a totally different feeling being able to talk to normal patrons of my business. Well, a patron (regular) started coming in and talking to me, he’s about 3 years older than me. I am married and have been for a year now, but been with my husband for 6 years total. I love my husband but he can be so selfish and not very fulfilling of my needs. So, after about four months, I have a crush on this guy that comes into my shop. He’s super sweet, and have really pretty brown eyes. He constantly takes menus and advertisments from my business to put up in the one that he manages. So, he refers people all the time. I would never cheat on my husband, I love him to death…. but sometimes I miss the single days.

  12. Anonymous

    I have for the past 10 years had a huge crush on one of my husbands friends. My husband, like all other men, asked me for a 3 some with another woman to spice up our marriage (for the upteenth time). This time, I said how about another man? He said no…way.. The door swings both ways I told him. I said why should you have two women if I can’t have two men? He said he would agree to do a menage a tois with another man if I would then recipocate! Well I selected his friend and long story short. It was wonderful. I did things with two men I never thought I could. But afterwards. The curiosity was gone. I no longer have a crush on his friend. I guess it was a sexual thing. It was a great experience I would do again. (I have now only been with 3 men in my life!!) I am not looking forward to fulfilling my husbands fantasy. I am a very jealous and I think I will lose it when I see him enjoying another woman. I will let you know how it goes!!

  13. Silly girl

    I have a few crushes. I haven’t had many boyfriends because, well, I never chased after the men I was interested or the men that were interested. I always told myself “If they really want me, they will come get me!” And no one ever does anymore. I feel so lonely. So I have a few crushes. Now I have a crush on a guy I met at a video store, he works at a mall I go to a lot. I go in there sometimes [rarely] when my girlfriends throw me inside. And we make small talk and smile. Another crush is the best friend of my previous crush from high-school. He seems interested in me, but I tend to over-think things and day-dream too much. So when I have a crush I plan out romance, sex, dates, our fights, lives and end it in my mind. Afterwards, I’m usually over them because in my mind I’ve dated them or been through everything with them. It’s pathetic, I realize this now that I’m actually typing it out loud. That’s all. Hopeless dreams of a lonely woman who awaits her prince to come fetch her like in the fairy tales I was read as a girl.

  14. Torn Up

    I have a huge crush on a woman I work with. I don’t know what to do. We are both gay. I’m out, she’s not, and I just recently found out she has a partner as well. I don’t know how long they’ve been together but my partner and I have been together for 8 years and have beautiful 6 year old twin daughters. I don’t know that it will ever go past this, but I think about her *all* the time. It’s tearing me up. I know if I ever acted on anything it would destroy both our relationships. I love my partner but I just can’t understand why I can’t get this woman out of my head.

  15. Anonymous

    I have a crush on a guy from high school. He is single and not someone I would normally have been interested in dating. He was a nerd. However, as a grown woman I see that he is smart and very funny. I wish I could tell him, but I don’t think he would be interested in me and I can’t bare the rejection or the thought that my humiliation might be broadcast to other former classmates. He is really amazing. I love the way his mind works. He has put on a little weight since school, but I think he looks great (better)! He’s adorable! Oh, I just can’t get him off my mind and I never act like this about anyone. This is terrible…like high school all over again!

  16. Reena Pearson

    I just went to my sister’s house for Christmas and I have a huge crush on her new next door neighbor. I am married (20 years with two kids) but he and the kids are visiting his family for the holidays so I visited my sister for Christmas (she lives an hour away). My sister and her husband invited her single neighbor over and oh my god, he is so cute! He and I work in the same industry so we had something in common, he is only 6 years younger than me and is doing well for himself. My husband and I haven’t been getting along for many years now and I have considered leaving him. I have noticed other attractive men but did not spark with any of them and because I am married, I have never even given them all a second thought. However, with this guy, I can’t get him off my mind. Plus I know every time I visit my sister, I am going to want to run into him. OMG, I know I just feel neglected in my marriage but I really wanted to kiss him the other day (and if I am honest, I would have loved to do more!)

  17. Anonymous

    i have a crush on my boss and one of my coworker’s husband. My boss is female and she is a friend of mine and my fiance’s. I am a female also. I’m kinda messed up a little bit.

  18. Anonymous

    I have a huge crush on my boss!!! I’m married and he is married, to one of my best friends. It’s the worst…I would never act on it, but I can’t get him out of my head. AHHH!!

  19. Anonymous

    My married boss (there’s a double-whammy right there). Of course the chemistry between us is incredible and I think he feels the same about me. I am not sure if he knows but wow, is this frustrating as hell!

  20. Crazy in Cali

    I am a married woman with the hugest crush on one of my husbands friends. I have always been a faithful wife and never thought of another guy this way. The when my husband became friends with this guy- I have completly gone gaga! When his friend and I are together in the same room there is this crazy chemistry bewteen us. Our eyes meet and my stomach just does back flips. We have had some serious eye sex and I feel so guilty! But I can not get him out of my mind. Some of our friends can see it too and have actually called me on it. What am I to do?? I sometimes wonder if I married the right guy- I seriously just wish that I could be with this guy for a night & then be done with it….I hate crushes- I feel like a teenager again!!

  21. anonymous teacher

    I have been working in a place for few year. I am married with children. Since last year I have a crush on a person who works with me. We only say hello to each other but we have very strong eye contact. I feel a lot for him. I know that he feels in the same way. We never spoke. I always tried to avoid him because I am married. I did not know he was married too, until I saw his wedding picture at work. It was a shock. I DO NOT know if I could avoid the attraction but now it is too late. hE IS VERY RESERVED AND CAUTIOUS, but I know he has a crush on me too. More I tried to avoid him and more I think about me. The feelings I feel for him are unreal. I would like to talk to him but the door is not open.I believe we both knwow that if we start talking it could lead to an affair. Why did he come into my life? I want him.

  22. Dreamer

    I have a crush on my neighbor who is rich and beautiful! I googled him and realized just how successful he really is and also realized that I would never have a chance. Funny thing is that everytime we walk by each other or drive by each other we stare at each other. I never smile or say hi;Iam too scared. But I wonder does he think I am attractive and that is why he stares at me or am I just a dreamer?!


    I have a huge cruch on my neighnor. I am married with kids. He is very kind and caring. I try to get him out of my mind, but I can’t. He is everything I want in my husband.

  24. God how I wish..........

    My brother would probably bless me out if he knew about my secret for his friend/ex-classmate. I have had the longest crush over this man sever since the seventh grade( He was in the 9th grade). It has been 20 years since I graduated from high school, but we have blog where his school’s alumni(we didn’t attend the same high school) are able to make constant contact with. Still tall , dark , quite handsome( his pretty eyes, my, oh ,my, those eyes.)and a stunning personality—that is why he so freaking sexy!

    There is only one disadvantage to this: his marriage. I would never break up anybody’s marriage. I could be wrong, but his wife has a great man. I envy her right now, but I continue to wish them much marital prosperity.

  25. smitten

    i have a crush on this guy at work he is five years older than me. im single but he is divorced with 2 kids, im not sure if he is married again or dating i just cant seem to ask him. He is so cute. He talks to me sometimes but i dont know if he likes me

  26. Anonymous

    I’ve had a crush on a woman I’ve work with for almost three years. I’ve been with my partner for 7 yrs and she knows I have or have had a crush on this woman. She told me to go for it. Three problems with that, don’t know if she’s into women, she’s a coworker, and even with my partner’s okay I would feel like I’m cheating.

  27. Anonymous

    I am crushing on someone 10+ years younger than me. He is sweet, caring, funny, French-Canadian, and he already has a girlfriend. We connect. I feel ashamed because I know I am too old for this, and it would never work with us in reality. I had to suspend the account I met him on so I don’t get the urge to talk to him. Plus, I get jealous when I know he is going to see his girlfriend, and he has started feeling bad for having to say he has to go when we’re chatting. I have told him that he shouldn’t feel guilty, he dosen’t owe me anything and he says ok. I told him that we have to stop chatting and he didn’t want to do it. I will have to be the one who initiates putting an end to it. I just get sad. I wish he were my husband actually. There is one person in my life that I don’t regret having and I never will. I just wonder what it would be like to be his and to look into his beautiful blue eyes and for us to build a life together. I am a woman, but I am too old for this. It just makes me sad.

  28. Cupid

    I know I am truly in love with my friend she’s older then I am. We spend time together all the time, but I don’t know if she feels the same way about me. Shes affectionate and likes to be caressed and be hugged, but at times I get mixed signals too. I don’t want to say anything for fear of loosing our friendship or her feeling awkward around me. I just can’t fight the feelings I have when I’m with her. How do you tell someone you love them and want to be with them without dropping your heart if they don’t feel the same? We have a close intimate relationship as far as communication, so why am I scared? Cupids got me good this time!

  29. My heart*

    I’m a women in love with another women! There I said it! Thank you Secret crush I’ve been holding it in all this time!

  30. Anonymous

    I love my good friend and I think he’s my Mr. Right. Being with him makes me feel very comfortable and happy. The feel is so right when we both spending time together. He knew I like him, but he wants to concentrate on his career, and needs time to let us know more about each other before any decision is make. Funny thing is, I knew him for 23 years, but I fall for him less then 2 months. I miss him so much and I can’t get him out of my head.

  31. SapphireEyes

    Oh thank goodness this appears to be a ‘normal’ phenomenon! My married crush has been tearing me apart; it’s been ongoing for around 6 months, but finally came to a head last week when my Crush and I admitted our mutual lust! I have been married 1 and a half years (together 6 and a half) and never before have I felt this way about any other guy. My Crush is physically and mentally one of the sexist guys I’ve ever met: (very) tall, dark, handsome with the most amazing eyes, intelligent, witty, humorous… We spoke on the phone; he was very drunk, but told me how hot I am, how sexy, about what he wanted to do to me! I’ve NEVER had conversations like that with ANYONE ever, not even my husband. For the first time in a long time I felt attractive and wanted. To illustrate, I asked my husband this morning if he thought I was sexy; he said ‘Yeah… I suppose so… but I’m busy at the moment’ and went back to what he was doing on the computer. Is there any wonder this other guy holds my interest so keenly?
    Both my Crush and I have decided that there is too much at stake to pursue anything, but my heart beats faster every time I think about him! I keep thinking about whether one kiss would get him out of my system and help me to move on, but I know he’s too nice a guy and too practical to allow this to happen. So meanwhile, I am in agony — eaten up simultaneously with guilt and sexual longing. How does one move on from this? I keep looking at my husband, looking for a spark of excitement. He’s a good, caring man, a great friend…and I do love him. I really do. Just…he doesn’t seem to fancy me anymore, I don’t seem to turn him on, no matter how much effort I make. For someone else to come along and say how attractive he finds me and how I turn him on, is it any surprise I’ve reacted like this? The whole situation is a huge mess for me. My Crush seems to be acting very rationally, perhaps even regretting his ‘confession’. But when we’re out together (we’re in the same group of friends) and I catch his gaze for a second longer than I ought, he doesn’t look away. When my hand catches his, he doesn’t flinch. Argh argh argh! I’m getting too much of a kick from the flirting, but agonise over the immoral nature of it all! It’s making me depressed, to the extent that even my female best friend knows something’s wrong. Is there a simple cure? My Crush says that this lust will fade with time, and we’ll both be able to move on. Damn men with their practical ways of going on, and their ability to keep their emotions in check. I’m just too curious to kiss him and know what it feels like. Is this really wrong? Am I a terrible person? Help!! (I can already hear Crush’s voice saying, ‘No, we can’t do that’) All I want him to do is grab me, kiss me passionately, and then for us both to walk away. Is this too idealised?

  32. Anonymous

    I have a crush on a guy I work with. He’s 31 and I’m 21 and I feel like it would never work out. We are really good friends though. We work in a department store and it seems like everytime we both turned around we saw each other. He realized it too. and aknwoledged it. 🙂 He recently just started calling me his sidekick which made me happy. Then today i wore lovespell which apparently is his favorite perfume. he told me he was gonna be hovering around me and that the scent was his weakness. So I will definitely be wearing that from now on 🙂 I tried not to crush on him but I feel like I think about him all the time and get butterflies everytime i see him. I giggle at everything funny he says. typical crush feeling. the reason I dont think it will work is cause hes 10 years older than me. But I’m having fun crushing on him right now. I really want to hang out with him though I hope we can in the near future. <3

  33. Anonymous

    Ohhh, I have a crush. There was this guy in one of my graduate school classes last semester. I didn’t even notice him at first. He’s kina nerdy. Then about halfway through the semester he wrote this story that was really funny and cool. I thought, “wow, I bet this guy would be really fun to hang out with.” Then like a week later my fiance broke up with me, completely out of the blue. So of course I was completely devastated and didn’t notice anything for the next several weeks. I could barely drag myself out of bed to go to class. And then one night we were having a class discussion and he just came out with this comment that was so hilarious and completely on-point. Suddenly I noticed that he was really kinda hot. Of course I was too chicken to do anything about it. Did some myspace stalking, just to find out some info, and it turns out he has a girlfriend. Oh, well, I thought. The semester ended and I thought I’d probably never see him again. Then the other day I was in the shopping center near my apartment. I was just going to the grocery store. I walked past the little comic book store that’s in there. I just glanced in the window, and I saw him. Turns out he works there. Five minutes from my house. So now I’m telling myself not to go up there and try to catch another glimpse of him. He has a girlfried, and he’d probably never be interested in me even so, and I realize that this whole thing is just me fixating on him because I’m lonely and still feeling kinda sad and rejected about my fiance. But damn….I can’t get this guy out of my head. He’s cute and snarky and brainy and just the right combo of nerdy and edgy…exactly the type I go for. Oh, well. Hopefully it’ll pass soon. I just wish I could act on my attraction because it’s pretty intense, especially consiering I don’t really know the guy.

  34. confused

    Recenlty, my first real cruch contacted me. i had a huge cruch on him for years. I don’t think I was in love with him, but I had very strong feelings for him. He admitted he liked me for years, but scared to do anything. We did hook up a couple of times, but he just ended up ignoring me after that happened. He would also make me feel like a a**hole and it felt like I was a joke among his friends. I am married now and have forgotten about him. I think I had him in the back of my head for years cause as soon as he admitted his feelings, I had butterflies in my stomach. I cannot get him out of my head and it is driving me crazy. We have been talking online and texting. We are planning to meet up, but I am nervous of what may happen. There is a part of me that wants to be intimate with him, but I just don’t want to hurt my husband. My marriage is on the rocks. My husband never touches me or supports me. I know being married doesn’t mean 24/7 romance and support, but a person should not feel lonely in a marriage as I do. I really needed to get this off of my chest as I am going to explode. I cannot tell anyone about this.

  35. SapphireEyes

    To ‘confused’ (post March 23, 2009 10:19 am),

    Please think very carefully before you act on your crush. It could devastate so many people, not least yourself. I say this because as the poster on March 2, I acted on my crush and have consequently unleashed a world of pain and heartache. Last Friday, my husband found out that things had happened with my crush (who, unfortunately, is also his work colleague). He is (quite astonishingly) prepared to forgive my indiscretions and work towards a better marriage. I truly don’t deserve such understanding, and it’s killing me that I’ve hurt him so badly. Not only that, but our families and friends are all aware of what I did. They will always eye me up suspiciously, waiting for me to fall again. Even if they deny it, it’s true. So much has changed.

    I too felt lonely in my marriage. But my husband was too caught up in life’s trivialties to notice. Now it has been drawn to his attention (in the worst possible way), it has given him chance to re-evaluate his priorities. Tell your husband how you feel and make sure he understands how you are hurting. This might be enough to save your marriage.

    It may be the case that you are best off out of your marriage, if you are both unable to reach a resolution, but don’t take this as a sign to leap into the other guy’s arms. He has messed with your emotions in the past, and there is nothing to say he won’t do this again. What are his motivations for being in contact with you again?

    I wish my crush had been an a**hole to me, but unfortunately he is a sweet and lovely guy. He’s only human, just like me, and we made a chronic error of judgement. We are now both being punished by the heartache.

    I think of my crush often. Sometimes I just try to remember the softness of his blue-eyed gaze and the strength of his embrace; sometimes I yearn to know what he is thinking and whether I am still residual in his thoughts.

    My darling affair partner. I never thought I was capable of infidelity, and yet I found myself powerless to resist the chemistry that brought us together, first as friends, and much later as lovers. And yet now, he has been ripped out of my life and I grieve. I no longer wish to kiss his warm lips and trace the outline of his face with my fingertips. I no longer need to pursue the hedonistic fantasy that played out in my mind every second we were apart. The most supremely beautiful element of our affair was a simple friendship, and we mistook this for something else.

    Of course it was exciting. My heart leapt at his very touch, but as I gazed at him stretched out on his bed, his expression reflecting a battle between guilt and desire, I knew this wasn’t just sexual. I needed to comfort and protect him, not sleep with him. But we had already crossed a line, and the flesh is weak. Not that we did sleep together. I think the entirely non-technical term is ‘fooling around’. Whatever it was, it was ultimately empty and caused more harm than pleasure. It was… well it was simultaneously astoundingly breathtaking and yet tragically and painfully inevitable. From the start, he was rational and determined that things should not continue. But I was not ready to let go. I felt desired, sexual and beautiful. Probably for the first time in my life. I was the goddess in a man’s fantasy; I was the mysterious beauty that could turn him on just by talking on the phone. I felt powerful; no, empowered. I felt alive, confident and happy. The thought of him unable to get me out of his head all day long was exhilarating; and I reciprocated by filling every minute of my own day with thoughts of him. Working became impossible, such was my preoccupation.

    My husband is a wonderful man, despite how inattentive he has been; a list of positive attributes and glowing adjectives has no place here though. I have always loved him and this never stopped; at no point did my emotions and devotion transfer to someone else. If only things were so simple! I began to fall in love with a friend, and this coexisted tacitly and uncomfortably with my matrimonial vows. I had learned to accept that my comfortable, safe and predictable marriage did not revolve around the romantic minutiae that had characterised the preceding courtship; how could it?

    On the night we said goodbye to our affair, I drove to his flat. I met him outside and we silently climbed the stairs to his door. Not a word issued between us until we had both sat down. The tears began. I felt supremely sad and my heart broke.

    We did kiss goodbye, deeply and yet gently. And I knew it wasn’t just goodbye to the affair. It was goodbye to one of the closest friendships I have known, and that just tears me in two. Deep down, I know so little about him, but I was just starting to reveal the man who has always been so guarded. I felt like I was getting a rare look into his world, his desires, his hopes…

    My marriage will take time to rebuild. This wasn’t a simple sexual fling. I long to go back to what I had with both men; a devoted husband at home and an understanding friend no more than an email away. But this is a selfish thing to want. Still, I pray every day that not only will I become a better wife to a deserving and loving husband, but I will also be able to restore a friendship with someone I thought would always be in my life.

    And so I grieve, and pray. I am advised that time is a great healer. All I can do is put my trust in this cliché and pray that there is a grain of truth therein.

    In summary of a rather lengthy stream of consciousness (!), please do not act rashly. Speak to your husband, honestly and openly. Give him a chance. Men are generally not emotional creatures and sometimes need gently (or not so gently!) guiding in the right direction. My husband and I are now attending counselling; the benefits of which I am highly sceptical, but I owe it to him to try to make things work. And who knows, things may be irretrievable, but we must be open-minded.

    Things are never black and white, and the ‘holier than thous’ who would like to think so are very mistaken and naive. Human beings are complicated and consumed by a plethora of powerful emotions.

    I hope this helps, despite coming from another confused person!

  36. Wife has a crush

    My wife has had a crush for almost a year for a co-worker. We are very open and honest, otherwise why would I know right. We have been married for 8 years and I have always treated her as #1 in my world. She and I lack nothing yet for some strange reason this man caught her eye. It is painful at times but the honest truth is you own no one and no one person owns you. You are sad not because someone makes you sad, you are sad because you choose to be sad. And the same goes for happiness. We are carnal beings, we lust after new flesh. We all take for granted the ones that truly love us. I hand deliver a sunflowers, I write love letters, I give all the affection that women dream about and this crush happens. The truth is it you do those things because you want to, because it makes you happy, there is no true obligation in love.

    Think about what the consequences; make sure it’s what you really want. I set my wife free to follow what she thought was right and I pray she finds in the end that friction can never replace true companionship. Good luck, oh P.S. Honesty is a good policy but it hurts the one you love, as much as I am a forward thinker, I have spent much time pondering it all. But in the end I hope to come out a better person, a better husband, and a better lover.

  37. shannay

    I think if u have a crush on someone especially if your married,u should not act upon your feelings eventhough they may be strong, and the person might be irresistable,because in the end someone always end up getting hurt although that was not the intention.

  38. Anonymous

    I have two: my fiance’s twin brother and one of my (married) professors with whom I have formed a friendship.

  39. Holly

    I am head over heels for my business partner. We are both married. I don’t think he feels the same way, I have sent out many signals with no return. He is very happy with his wife I think, and a devout Christian, so I can’t see him straying. I fantasize about him constantly. I love my husband and have virtually no complaints, so this is purely me.

    We have so much in common, he’s into music, golf and honestly everytime I see him I just want to consume him. But I’ll keep pretending and just be friends and hope this eventually melts away.

  40. Pretty

    i have a serious crush on my co worker, oh God he just passed by my desk now…iam melting….he is sexy, intelligent, handsome oh my! we talk more often…and he is the one who 1st approached me. i don know hw he feels about me…i wonder if he feels the same way….iam married but my marriage is so boring….he is single and not committed..iam 25 and hez 29..everytime i go to bed i think about this guy, evertime i c hm my heart smiles….iam thinkn of goin to a Sangoma or prophet to help ignite my crush to approach me…oh my i just wana kiss him and feel him…iam so crazy about him….iam dying to know hw he feels about me…please advice and help me…

  41. Shame on you

    I think everyone could find a crush if they really tried. I mean, I don’t believe that there is only one person in the world for everyone. People are capable of falling in love with more than one person, but if you are married or in a relationship, think back to why you are with that person? You had all these feelings for that person at one time, they just have maybe been put on the back burner over the mundane normalities of life. This crush is new and exciting, so you confuse it with thinking that you don’t have feelings for your partner. Instead of acting on this crush, try to spice things up and find that “first time crush” with your spouse or partner. It was there before and you can really bring it back again. I don’t advise any threesomes though. You can never take it back and in the long run, betrayal will set in and eventually ruin the relationship. There are too many divorces out there these days, let’s not make more.

  42. Loving

    I have a crush on a co-worker (married) and my husband knows about it. He sees no problem with it. We have a secure marriage and as long as he knows the guy and knows I won’t go beyond a certain point with it, its OK. He has had crushes on other women on occausion and has kept me informed. I know the women involved and have told them that its OK to hang out with him if they want. No sex allowed but touchy-feelly a little is OK.. We see it as a form of friendship, granted it might go a little farther than some would be comfortable with but as long as both parties agree and no one gets hurt, no problems.. You do have to have open communication with your spouse..

  43. Anonymous

    I’ve had a crush for 14 years on a guy I know from college. I was always too scared of rejection and although we were friends I never tried to take it past that. I agonized over this guy in college, and now I wish I had told him how I felt. The rejection back then would be so much better for me than how I feel now.

    I’ve been married six years and with my husband for eight years. He’s a wonderful guy and I would never do anything to jeopardize the marriage. But sometimes I wonder what might have been if I’d had the guts to go after my crush. My crush was out of my life for 8-9 years, but recently we got into contact again online. It is still just a peripheral, friends only kind of thing. We barely have direct contact, but I see his photo and his updates, and it’s enough to make my heart do flip-flops.

    To anyone who has a crush and has the opportunity to pursue it without hurting anyone — do it!!! I think it would be so much easier to get over my crush now if I’d found out long ago that he was or wasn’t interested.

  44. Anonymous

    Anonymous on June 11, 2009.

    I can’t believe I am writing this but I have been married for 12 years. We are 10 years apart I’m 37 and my husband is 47. We often go months and at times even years with out being intimate. i constantly complain to my husband and he says he will do better. But day after day it stays the same. If I would have known this wuld be going on I would have stayed single. I have recently started fantazing about my former much younger ex co-worker he is 23 years old and single. We talk via text and email not to often but sometimes. I do feel like the other ladies so lonely. I constantly ask myself why did I get married what is the point. Oh, my husband and I have no children. I needed to get this off my chest. I pondering whether to stay or go.

  45. 'Unrequited and uncertain'

    I’ve had many crushes in my 28 years of life experience… Yet, many if not all of them, have gone unrequited. Its a sad reality but if it hasn’t become something by now, it only reveals to me it wasn’t meant to be in the first place… I’m dating this guy who I believe thinks the world of me. He’s been there for me no matter what.. When I’d get sick, he’d make sure I had enough food and medicine to get me through it. He’s just a really great guy.. I never had to ask for anything because he’d always think of it first.. We honestly have a good thing going but lately, I’ve been feeling a little ehh.. I’ve also kept up a friendship with this other guy I’ve known for a short while. He often texts me and tries very hard to convince me to go and visit him one of these days.. Of course, I protest and say I can never do anything outside of my relationship with my guy. But he can’t seem to take no for an answer… So I deleted him… But then he’d somehow find a way back in and it would start all over again.. But the problem is, before I met this new guy that I’m with, we (the deleted guy and I) were an item… And so now, I’ve become quite curious as to what would’ve happened if I had taken things further than they became between us in the past.. But my guy is really a sweetheart and shows how important I am to him.. I can’t just throw away a good thing like that.. It would just be an idiotic move on my part…however, lately I’ve wondered why I never took a chance on my unrequited feelings, only to settle for someone I don’t necessarily feel the sparks for… I mean, knowing that he will always take care of me and put me somewhere on his list of priorities is a great thing. And yet, I feel as though something is missing… Why??? Too many questions and not enough answers….. Sigh =(

  46. Anonymous

    This is a great site…to get things off your chest and know that it is o.k. and normal!!! My husband had a roving eye, and when I found out it really crushed me. Since that time I have developed a crush on someone at work…I think in some way I have always felt that way, but much more so now that I have these needs to feel appreciated. I would never act upon these feelings, but they are certainly there. I don’t know if they are recipricated, but there is a lot of subtle flirting going on. I know that he is interested in someone, just not sure who (and he is married –I thought happily). I love my husband but I can’t stop thinking about this other guy. I guess a fantasy life is what I need right now.

  47. No One Special

    I hate to say this, but am so glad that it’s anonymous! I am still in love with my ex husband. Does that count as a crush? Please don’t get me wrong, I love the man I’m married to now and would never think of acting on my feelings for my ex, but my ex divorced me and I have never gotten over him. I found him on MySpace (HUGE MISTAKE) and cannot stop looking at his myspace information. I will not contact him… I just want to look (because I’m some sort of masochist), cannot stop myself. My head wants to believe that it was for the best, but I can’t help but feel like I missed out. The man that I’m married to now is WONDERFUL: kind, funny and spoils me rotten, but I miss the connection that I had with my ex. He ignited passion and excitement in me. My life now seems dull and boring. And what makes all of this even worse is that I found out shortly after my ex and I were divorced that I couldn’t have children of my own while he DID go on to remarry and have a child. My heart broke… yet again I have this HEAVY feeling that I missed out… AGAIN! My ex taught me so much about myself and the gratitude for what he gave me always kept me from the normal feelings of anger and hatred that normal ex spouses go through. I just never had it. I would have been helpful to move on. I have spent years with this secret broken heart that I wish I could get over.

  48. kookoo

    I have a big crush on my married neighbor. He has everything I want in a man. He is handsome, tall, intellegent & has a great careere. I am married with kids and he is married with 3 kids. I can not stop thinking about him. Onece I notices he was looking at me, and I was hoping he likes me too. His wife has been rude to me since I moved to their neighborhood. I don’t know why. I am very shy. I see him only a few times a month, if I am lucky. When I am close to him I get very nerves and I don’t talk to him very much. I don’t think he has any idea about this.

  49. OMG

    I been with my other half for 6 yrs we have a son that is 2 yrs old since we met i like it him a lot but it took a while before i start it to love him… but he was just plain good when i first met his childhood friend i was like wow he is so so dam handsome but nothing about it but since summer last year we been talking to each other more and even having secrets like i want to do this for my friend or i want to this for my husband.. he also have a wife i don’t know and he had told me secrets about him for like example he had played her and he also had said that he feel he could trust me I don’t know if im taking mix match feeling but i feel like he like me, my husband family said to me that he must like me cause he never been so nice to any of my man’s girlfriends but me.. he call when my husband its a t work.. well the true is that 3 months to now i dream with him..i just want to omg make him mine what should i do…

  50. Likes me, too

    My husband had a hard time making friends when we first moved here but I hit it off with a gal and her husband totally brought out the best in my hubby. Then I noticed one day that he was staring at me with attraction all over his face. Not long afterwards, at a costume party, I nearly fainted at the sight of him in a tight shirt (tall, dark, nice muscled chest) and the crush was mutual. That was nearly a year ago. Now they’re our best friends and we do almost everything with them. Funny thing is I KNOW part of it is because he and I want to be around each other! He invites my husband to do stuff that I’ll be dragged along to, I call his wife to come over for dinner parties…we all get along so well! And I LOOOOOOVE how his dark eyes just sparkle at me, holding my gaze for a very long time! Today he paid me a complement and my hubby shot him a glance that was playfully annoyed. I’m pretty sure my husband and his wife know SOMETHING is there, although the only thing I’ll admit to is enjoying the attention. We’re very well behaved and enjoying the CRUSH part, not looking to act. It’s nice to have something to look forward to! Besides, I don’t want to give this up because knowing someone is attracted to you and you CAN’T act on it brings back those delightful old feelings that I really missed having!

  51. Oh to lust

    I am 27 years old and have been together and in love with my husband since I was 16. We are the best of friends and compatible lovers. We have 3 beautiful children too. The problem is, he had a one night stand affair over a year ago while drunk and it almost destroyed me. We seemed to be over the worst, but low and behold I have fallen madly in love with one of my bosses. I realise that I have always been interested, but lately we have had to work closely together on several new projects and I am completely smitten. I’m talking complete CRUSH – butterflies in my stomach, swooning at the sound of his voice, trembling at the smallest brush with his flesh – completely infatuated. The worst is I do believe there was a spark between us before I was married 7 years ago and I ignored it. WHAT IF I’VE LOST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE? To make matters worse, I really like his beautiful live-in girlfriend too. I am chubby and he probably doesn’t even think about me that way, and I am even doing crazy things like reading website like, “how to steal someone’s boyfriend” and “how a chubby girl can attract any man”. My stomach is in knots everyday when I come to work and I giggle at everything just like a ridiculous kid. I am enjoying this new found youngness again tho. I hope I can at least steal a kiss from him in a weak moment …

  52. Me

    I have a crush on my husband’s friend. I don’t really see him very often but he is quite the looker. It would be easier to get over him if he would stop being so nice to me whenever I do see him. Everyone else would just walk by and smile when I would visit my hubby at work but he would actually say hi and talk. I know it is probably because my hubby doesn’t give me much attention anymore. I would never do anything behind his back and telling him is out of the question. He has been more and more jealous as the years have gone by. We have been together since I were 14 but it is just me. If I told him it would not sit well. He doesn’t let me go out as it is. He would lock me in the closet if I told him. I don’t really know what to do but I do want the thoughts and the dreams to stop I know that much.

  53. RRL

    I have a big crush on a mutual friend of my husband and I. It started when I joined him at a concert that his friend had to bail out of. I’m pretty sure it was because I have not been out on a “date” with anyone besides my husband for so long that I got totally infatuated. Our friend is single and he and I have started chatting online regularly (initiated by him). The thing is that he is just being a really kind and caring friend and we have quite a bit in commmon. We’ve been out by ourselves a couple of more times while my husband stayed home with the kid and besides some drink induced flirting nothing has happened and it probably never will, but, oh, do I fantasize about it! *sigh*

  54. Anonymous

    I have been married for 12 years and I have 2 boys. I have a HUGE crush on this guy that works at the same company as my husband. He is recently married but my husband and I are no longer close. He flirts and ALWAYS gives me this BIG hug when he sees me. I have tried to make it go further before he got married. I waited for him one day after work to ask him to go for a drink but he had to deliver something to somewhere for the company. He acts like he doesn’t want to take it any further but he is always telling me I smell wonderful and hugging me and he looks deep into my eyes every time we talk. I CANT GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD. I think about him all the time. But now that I found out he got married (No he did not tell me)I told him the hugs and flirting had to stop. He looked sad and said “I can’t hug you?” I told him I did not want to cause problems for him with his wife. He said he would stop hugging me but she would not give two shakes of a rats tail about it. That’s the last time I saw him.

  55. Anonymous

    I got married last year although we have been together now for 6 years. My husband has a heart of gold and treats me wonderful. He is also my best friend and we are so compatible. However I don’t understand why I still look at attractive men. I know in my heart that cheating is some of the worst pain you can inflict on your loved one and know that I never would. My husband and I have always discussed our love for one another and the fact that none of us would ever tolerate cheating. He is my first true boyfriend and now husband. I was very particular about dating when I was younger due to higher education/schooling. Lately however I find myself thinking about my past crushes. In fact yesterday we had a new medical intern and the moment I saw him my eyes lit up. Turns out he was once married however has been divorced. I don’t know if he is single or not but I have found myself flirting with him at work. I know he finds me attractive yet why in the world would I even flirt with this dude. When I came home last night I really wanted to make love with my husband because I felt so guilty about sort of flirting with this guy. I woke up last night and could not sleep thinking about him at the same time thinking I am a horrible person for even feeling this way. He is very different from my husband…really ambitious and very macho whereas my husband is gentle and kind. I think when I go back to work I am going to continue being kind only because thats my nature however I am going to stop with the flirting. I am now thinking I can’t wait until his residency is over so I don’t have to see him. I spoke to my friends and they all stated that having crushes is normal however, I do not want to even flirt or have a crush…I just don’t know what has gotten into me.

  56. Anonymous

    I had a crush on my neighbour. He seemed like a very nice guy. Funny, charming, witty, well groomed etc and extremely keen to being in my company. I admitted my crush to him, and he pretended to be aloof, and said he was really only interested in ‘friendship’. Yet, he is always sending mixed signals, saying out of context overly affectionate and caressing me, when he got the rare chance, insulting and commenting on my male visitors and outwardly jealous. Man, I was not born yesterday. I KNOW when a man has the hots for me. Whats not to like, I am assertive, sexy, and have a very exciting interesting life. I guess he was just too intimidated by me to admit his true feelings. Gosh, this guy turns out to be such bad news. He subsequently became sexually involved with my friend whom he met via me. I’m convinced he did it to provoke jealousy in me. As much as his attempt worked, I never show it. I just avoid them both now. The crush feeling I used to have, has turned into nausea. I hate that I have to see him as he is my neighbour. Everytime I see him, I just feel sick. I prefer scoundrels who do not pretend to be nice people.

  57. anonymous

    I, like many other posts, am happily married. I can’t help, on occasion, to have the flitter of a crush.

    One of my neighbors is an extremely hot, single man, late 30’s/early 40’s. He is funny, charming, friendly and complimentary. I feel awkward in front of him, as it is this weird I-used-to-be-hot-before-kids-and marriage, so “flirting” with him makes me feel like the 20 something I used to be, yet in a 30something body who shouldn’t act like that. I am sure I look like such a geek to him…

    Anyway, a few years ago, he got kind of drunk at a party he was having at his house, and while we were out in the garage refilling our cups, he blurted out in a montage of words somewhere in the middle about always having a crush on me and that he wanted to know what it would be like to be with me…then he went on to babble about something else. Needless to say, I was drop-jawed and stunned!

    Like I said, this was years ago, but it lingers in my mind. Now, I used to be confident and could get any man I was even remotely interested in, but now…I know I am married and heavier, older, not so “footloose and fancy free” — I think part of MY charm — and it just felt nice to have someone say something flirty like that.

    My husband knows I think he’s hot (it is kind of undeniable, even to the husbands in the ‘hood!), and knows I am not the cheating kind. I would NEVER

  58. anonymous

    ….continued from above (dang computer!!)

    ….I would NEVER act on it. I think if I did, the fantastic fantasy of it all would *poof* and disappear….and I like the motivation it gives me to want to be cute and put together, because I feel like that is how he sees me.

    Another one I get (and this is just weird, honestly), is a much younger man that used to work at my child’s school. He worked in the day care part of the school, and he looks all discheveled and odd, totally not my type. Unshaven, looking like he is hungover all the time…anyway, every time I knew he was working, I would make myself up and figure out some way to see him. I would go inside the school and look in the lost and found, go into the office to ask some stupid question — just to see him look at me. When I would take lunch to my daughter, if I looked up, he was always looking at me (how exciting!!), or he would come over to the table to say something. He left the school and I never even knew his name. It hasn’t happened again, with any other person, but I wouldn’t mind if it did! Any innocent flirtation is fun.

    I guess we all have some sort of thing inside of us that wants us to be wanted/adored/lusted after. I would never act upon it, but that butterfly feeling that we all used to get in the dating process is exciting and fun — and seriously releases dopamine in our brain, which makes us feel GREAT! I think it is fun to have little crushes. I know my limits and my husbands limits, and it is not acceptable to act physically on anything. Speaking of my husband, he has a job where he sees hot women all the time — and I don’t doubt that they flirt with him and likewise. When he comes home to tell me that a girl asked if he was single that day, his step is a bit lighter, a bit bouncier, like “I still got it!”. It’s cute, and I am happy for him! I am also reaffirmed that my hubby is still wanted by others. It makes me more appreciative, actually!

  59. Anonymous

    I seem to always have a crush on someone. It’s like I crave the extra attention and my husband would be heartbroken if he ever knew how I can flirt, but it’s like I can’t help it. And then I feel guilty and pull away. Then make a new friend who I flirt with, who provides me with constant attention and compliments.

  60. Santos

    I’ve had a crush on a woman from work for about a year now. I’ve actually asked her out a couple of times and she would say, “I don’t know”. She actually only told me no once but, we still have not been out. We have gotten a little closer in the last few months and we laugh and have good conversations. I just can’t get her to see me outside of work. I believe she is single now but, I’m not sure. When the crush first started she was seeing someone. We do flirt back and forth and she lets me touch her as well. I know it’s inappropriate at work but, I can’t help it.
    I told her that I was interested in her and she said, ” I kind of thought so”. She has not acted on my confession at all. She did not say how she felt about it or addressed the situation again. If someone told me they were interested in me it would linger in my head until I could tell them how I feel. I have two people trying to help me out in this situation and it’s killing me. I know she is at least attracted to me but I don’t know if she wants anything else. I can’t focus at all. I sit around work all day thinking about her.

  61. Anonymous

    I’m a 24 year old married to a 28 year old for 5 years. He is a sweetheart and although he has his faults, ultimately treats me like gold. I was 18 when I married him and had only had two other previous boyfriends who I only dated about a month each! Needless to say, I have really never been with that many guys and, although I don’t have really have a crush on anyone and even if I did, I don’t believe I would act out on it – I MISS that feeling of having a crush on somebody. I miss that feeling of your heart racing, of not being able to get that guy out of your mind, etc. etc.
    The saddest part is that I totally rushed into getting married with my husband. I don’t think I ever did have a crush on him. I just wanted to leave home. I’m scared that he’s not “The One” and that eventually I WILL MEET “The One” but I will be married with kids…
    We don’t have any kids and we’re not planning on until we get a “big house” and both have good and steady jobs.
    Sometimes I think that I should divorce while I still have time and try to rebuild my life and meet some more men and just LIVE again…
    but it’s not that easy. Sometimes I fear that I will REGRET leaving my husband because, even though he is a bit on the “big” side (weight-wise) he truly has a heart of gold and whatever woman ends up with him could consider herself fortunate.

  62. Just Me

    I have two bosses. Number One boss is conservative. Number two boss is very charming and animated. He always jokes around with me. I have a major crush with boss #2 but he’s married and so am I. I always make sure I don’t cross that line. But if he does, I don’t know if I can put the breaks on.

  63. Anonymous

    I’m 23, engaged to my 25 year old fiance. We’ve been together for 5 years. After hearing him talk about his friends all the time, I finally met them this past weekend. I have developed a major crush on his boss. He’s super cute and funny, but married with kids. Just an innocent crush, makes things more fun.

  64. Anonymous

    Yes Yes Yes. I have a crush on my sons high school principal. I am married with two children (so is he) and would absolutely have an affair in a second, I am so physically attracted to this man. I have tried to not think of him, but I can’t help myself. The sad part is he doesn’t have the same feelings. But I want him. Right or wrong I just do. If there was anyway to make his feelings change I would do it. I’ve even researched on-line how to make someone want you. It’s pathetic I know. But I can’t help it. He’s so hot and sexy and his voice sends chill bumps down my spine.

  65. inlovecyclist

    we can see each other twice a week, because our sons are in the same after school activity. it seems you flirt with all women around. I want to ignore you sometimes, just because…
    I do love looking into your eyes and thinking how great it would be if you kissed me. I love hearing your deep voice. I can’t get my eyes away from your muscular arms…aw. I love it when you say I look nice and give me flirty smiles- but again, you flirt with all. I am too old to compete for this 🙂

  66. Anonymous

    For the first time in my ten year relationship I like another guy. Phew. My heart is beating just thinking about it. He’s actually a great guy and because he’s been cheated on, he would never allow anything to happen. I think he likes me, but probably not since I told him he confused me. I wouldn’t cheat on my husband, EVER, especially since he’s been with me through many hard times and is being super patient with me. I told myself I can be just friends and am going to try and work on getting him out of my head, but it’s so hard. He makes my stomach flutter and those eyes…been so long since I’ve felt that. I hate that my relationship is stagnant. I hope my husband and i don’t let our once amazing love die. I’m glad I am not the only one out there who has to go through this.

  67. introuble!!

    okay well i have been with my husband for 9 years although we have only been married for 4 months. i just started this new job aaboutg 5 months ago,well this guy that i work with, wow, he makes my heart flutter! i mean flutter! i have to file things in his office and he will walk up behind and just slightly slide across me and i could just die! like no really the feelings that come across me woooh i cant even begin to explain. well anyways my husband knows this guy and they have drank a beer or two together and i talk about the things that he does here at work that “pisses” me off when really i think that i just wish it was me. anyways that is another story! so this guy we were here at work by ourselves one day and he asked me to go home with him and i couldnt resist the feelings anymore and so i did ( i wasnt married yet) so i felt bad but now all i can think about is doing it again. and i know that i would never cheat on my husband but i cant get these images of him or him period out of my dang head! help me ladies im over-whelmed!

  68. crushing bad

    I have a huge crush on a co-worker. I knew he had one on me too. One night we both got a little tipsy on facebook and admitted our feelings. I have been married for 25 years and this guy is not. The next day we immediately took a step back and agreed that “what ever this is, it has to stop”. He did’t want to be “that guy”. Now I am distracted, agonizing. Why didn’t I just keep this little crush a secret? I really don’t want to give up on my marraige just to find out this guy has a crush on everyone else too. But OMG he is hot! He makes my heart flutter. I can’t even talk around him. I am a complete idiot.

  69. Anonymous

    I am married and have a major crush on my married line manager at work. I have had for the past 3 years, since I have been working with him. It has gotten worse lately, where I keep thinking about him and fantasizing about what he would do if he found out (you know, like saying he feels the same and we should run away together etc). I know it’s never going to happen in reality. I get butterflies when I am around him, I miss him when he is not in the office, I even dream about him every night. Last night I dreampt he kissed me – it was so soft and gentle and warm and loving. I know it is never going to happen but I can’t help myself. I caught him looking at me yesterday in the office. It was probably innocent, but I immediately thought he liked me too. He treats me differently than my colleague (he is her line manager also), but I think it might me cos he has worked with me longer. I am confused, but I would never tell my husband. My colleague and my friend are aware of this crush. My colleague asked me today if my line manager asked me to run away with him would I, and I said (without even thinking first) of course I would. I know I shouldn’t have told my colleague, but it is eating me up inside. I have thoughts about seeing him in a kilt (he is Scottish) and looking to see if the rumours are really true about underneath! I am infatuated with everything about him, it’s so wrong!

  70. z

    I have a crush on my best friend. The worst part was that I’ve kept it a secret for so long, but he recently found out. I like our friendship and would never do anything to change it, but when I look at his face I have to turn away because of the smile that it brings to my face. I’m single because no one compares to my best friend and I’m afraid I’ll love him forever. Every song I’ve ever heard can somehow relate to our complex relationship and hearing music has never been the same since I met him. It was a weird circumstance one night and I was able to hold him, as if he were mine for that instance, and that memory consumes me. I almost hate myself for having such a memory that seems so faint, but was very much true. It gave me a taste of something I’m sure I will never have, but I have hope. Why? Just because I don’t think my heart will make it if you tell her the truth.

  71. someone

    i had a crush on my boss. She’s a female and so am i. At first i admired her being so professional until i totally madly in love with her. She was so kind and adorable. But sadly, i didn’t dare to tell her how i feel. i am so afraid of rejection and i am also afraid of making myself such an idiot..=S

  72. Anonymous

    Yep. I only know him online though.

    I have the feeling if I ever meet him IRL I’ll say something like “I have something I really want to tell you… I lo-ke you! Lo-ke you” XD;;

  73. insomniac

    ooooh i have a crush alright. i feel terrible about the whole thing because i’m married, and it’s only been a year, almost 5 years in all. my husband just doesn’t treat me the same anymore. he doesn’t usually treat me ‘bad’ persay but he’s drifted, work matters more, etc. and the times when it seems like he loves me it’s amazing but when he doesn’t or if we fight i feel like i don’t want to be anywhere near him. so then this guy at work comes into the picture. he has qualities i like that my husband doesn’t have, physically and mentally/emotionally. he sends me sweet texts sayin bout how cute i am, how nice i look on whatever day (lol work uniform wtf), and he knows kinda a bit about how my husband doesn’t treat me like i’d like him to..he thinks it’s a shame. he loves to compliment me, and watch me smile and blush as i read his texts. when we make eye contact it’s like we wait as long as we can to smile but once one of us cracks the other one does and he gets this goofy lil smile and i smile all big and i blush and it’s a mess..and he has a girlfriend to..! now i do not think highly of myself whatsoever but his girlfriend is ehhh not so nice-looking. actually now that i’m thinking of it my crush is decent looks-wise, the parts of him that are drop-dead gorgeous (his eyes and smile are my favorite lol) kinda make up for the parts of him that aren’t so much. but his whole like..arua, his personality and his looks, makes him so devilishly sexy. my husband would be heartbroken/infuriated/god knows if he found out. i love him to death, but i can’t get this other guy out of my head. sad part is i’ve only been in contact with this guy in this way for not even a week. i guess i just gotta give it time, maybe he’ll do something to piss me off or it’ll get old or something.

  74. nikki

    I have been married for going on 2years now. My husband was deployed overseas for the majority of our marrage and well, he has physically cheated on me once and emotionally several times. Im broke up and raising 3 kids with a fake smile just to get throught the day. He has a friend i have confided in and im falling into a dangerous pattern here. This man is the only one who hasnt made me feel worthless as a person. My ex abused me physically and emotionally, my husband is all talk and no action. Imsue he loves me, but i cant help but to feel alone in this marrage. This other man came over last night with friends to play poker and, he crahed here. I was asked durring the game how i met my husband. Though it was a cute story,after the game and going out to play some pool as a group, we all came back here. My husband is still overseas and i respect our marrage vows too much to act on anything ever but,before going into my room, to lock the door, this other man said “i wish i was the one you would have met”. I took this as him having too much to drink at the game but, i have been having these feelings for him for over a year now. He is single an divorced, he was cheated on by his ex wife.I keep strong for my marrage but,when we lock eyes, even for a moment, i have this fantasy montage of us having one of those tense face to face moments, you know “the one where your heart beats so deep that the other can hear it,the inches close to eachothers faces,almost resembling the moment before that romantic unfobidden kiss,the one that will never happen,the sexual tension you can cut with a knife” to be able to have this moment and not act on it i keep thinking will somehow cure this crush. This man is my husbands friend and i dont want to ruin that. When this man told me he was sorry for any ramblings,he was just being nice and respectful after the drunken words…but those words, those words, even if they werent meant,those 10 little words kept me up all night. It was a beautiful moment,i felt i was appreciated and sought after in words. “i wish i was the one you would have met”, it was so short and sweet, nothing like my husband would ever say. Yes,im one of those unhappy housewives. Married in a moment where i was weak. Where i was forced out of falicy of love. My usband has a daughter with an ex that was deemed unfit,we married so i could take care of her legally and so forth. My husband even told me, that he is learning to love me more and more. Why do i feel like i was an option? I was a single mother of 2. Did i feel i needed someone for them, a father figure. He is a good dad. I have always kept my children 1st. But, nevertheless,i really liked staying up thinking of the “what ifs” even though i know that the thoughts will never manifest more than just a daydream. I woke this morning with this man alrady gone. A part of me missed him, another part of me was glad he was gone. I think that im acting out emotionally within myself, with no emotional support from my husband, and a strong will to keep to my vows, i feel trapped. But, as a good little housewife,i will put on the plastic smile for the sake of my family,cook and clean with little to no grattitude from my husband. Fake the pleasure in sex just to get it over with. For once in my life, i would love a little romance,gratitude,love. I would never cheat on my husband,part of me still loves him, though he cheated on me. What ever happens to happines for women like me? Do we carry on our daily work,duties ignoring he screaming woman inside? Do we play house with a huband who in a way,has changed? Have we changed? Are we the monsters of our minds and hearts desires or,are we so low in esteem and of self value due to previous events in our lives,that we settle for lesser in the scope of our view and expctations of happiness? Are we so starved for that fairy tale happy ending that the only way we can have that is in our dreams,in a bed,next to one who doesn’t really give 2 dam*s about us (other the “wifely duties”.)Do we make due? Are we happy,truly happy,or ar we just fooling ourselves stubbornly? Why do we have to have these feeling of inaqequatcy? Are we willing to just keep this our own little fantasies and dreams,or do we act on them and ruin the lives of those affected by these feelings? I know one thing will always stand true for me,that i will have my dreams. Because these dreams are lies we have to tell ourselves to escape and sleep away the reality which life has left for us to deal with. That we have made for ourselves. To him,to those 10 little yet profoundly big words,to the dreams where we are happy. To….

  75. To SapphireEyes

    Thank you more than words can possibly say for what you wrote.

    I, too, just went through what you did, although only a few people know and my husband is NOT one of them. We said goodbye in the same way, only I was weak and tried to drag it out a few times; he called me just the other night to say “hello,” even though he is in a new relationship and, so I thought, “happy.”

    Anyway, your words are amazingly helpful – thank you from the bottom of my soul for sharing your story.

    I think this is normal, ladies: I think that after years of being with a partner, as humans it is natural to wander (and yes, even us ladies). We just have to make a very real and honest choice: are we prepared to deal with the consequences?

    Like SapphireEyes, I did it and now I have to decide where I am.

    It does not help that I have a new crush on a coworker…not at all like the man I fell for previously, but still, it shows me my problems are far from gone.

    This time, though, I am wiser and will not act (and neither, thankfully, would this man). Still, the longing is natural…we just have to be unnatural, be stronger than our longing — but not beat ourselves up too much if we can’t. We are ONLY HUMAN. Loneliness and absence of what we need sexually are powerful forces. Do not underestimate them, just be prepared to face what you do…/

  76. fjdfj

    I am in relationship from past 2 years and a friend of mine who once upon a time was my crush told me that he’s falling for me, beacuase of this I am not abke to concentrate on anything, I spoke to my friend clearly regarding this and I know will not ditch my boy frnd but he’s my friend who has a crush on me a very good friend, I want him to be in my life with my lover and just as a good friend forever… doonoo wht to do???????

  77. Anonymous

    I have been married to my husband for 1.5 years. We have been together for 5. I have a crush on my co worker, and I think he might too. We always flirt back and forth, and he gives me little gifts sometimes. I feel so bad about it, but as hard as I try I can’t get him out of my head. I haven’t experienced anything like this before, and I don’t know what to do. I must be a glutton for punishement though because we are now friends of facebook as well.

  78. just a girl with a crush

    i have a crush on a coworker who is way older than me. i am 24 and he is 51 and he has a a girlfriend. never going to happen obviously but i needed to say it because i dont want to bottle it up

  79. Anonymous

    I have a huge crush on a coworker. I’m 28, he’s 24 and has a girlfriend. He’s totally not my type, either, but for some reason I’m really attracted to him. MMM…he has the nicest butt. Oh, well, gives me something to look at when I’m not busy.

  80. Maria

    I have to admit i have a chrush on co worker 12 years younger i have done thing with him i never done with my husband, I recently told him i did’nt want to continue with our affair if you can call it affair. I don’t think that he loves or has a crush on me anymore but we did not sleep together and i think thats my problem. With him i talked about anything and everything it was a good relation. I am very comfused on my feeling towards him but his partner is especting their second child and i don’t want to hurt anybody from his side of the family and mine. Very comfused

  81. Anonymous

    I have a crush on an old boyfriend… We seriously dated in high school and twenty years later we are talking on FB and email. He called me and the butterflies hit. We are both divorced with kids, but live states apart.

  82. BurntUmberEyes

    I have a huge crush on a coworker. He is so gorgeous but kind of irritating, (we bicker) and I swear bi-polar. I am unhappily married and have tried to leave but I get such a guilt trip to stay that I always give in. I dont want to leave for my coworker, as I have no illusions of anything serious with him. One second he will look at me with the sexiest eyes and sideways smile and the next he downright ignores me.(Hence the bi-polar) On a drunken night out I told him I was into him and we made out on the dance floor and it was wonderful. I could tell by the way he kissed he wanted me just as bad, but he fought his demons, looked at me and walked away. (He kept coming back and yes I kept giving him a chance to reject me again) I told him I was sorry for the way I acted and I am trying to let him go. He said he was partially to blame and gave me the best smile ever. Its the one you cant have that you want. But I think of him most of the day and always at night.

  83. anonymous

    I’ve had a secret crush on this guy i’ve met back in high school, which is about 10 years ago. I have been married for a few years and i thought about this guy every now and then wondering “what if”. I wasn’t sure if he ever felt the same way about me. We were both shy to an extent. I’m just afraid of rejection and that’s the reason why i never expressed my feelings for him. I had lost touch with him and haven’t spoken with him for the past 3-5 years. I’m divorced now and i just learned that he’s again been contacting the people i met him through. I don’t know if i should try to tell him this time around, if i ever get to see/talk to him again.

  84. Anonymous

    2 weeks ago I was contacted by a friend via Facebook that I have had a crush on since I was 8 years old. It was a very intense crush for many years. Our parents were good friends, we went on holidays together and we went to the same primary school. So we had a lot of contact. We last saw each other 25 years ago after a few years gap, and, when we were both in our early twenties. I have never admitted my feelings to him because I didn’t think he felt the same way. I moved to another country and we lost touch. Over the years I have thought about him a lot. I tried to contact him but was told by his parents that he was married. I tried FB a few times but he was obviously not a member until recently.

    My heart leapt out of my chest when I received his friend request. I accepted instantly. I felt as high as a kite. I sent a brief message saying I would email him. I left it a few days, because quite frankly, my head was spinning so much I didn’t quite know what I was going to say. 5 days ago we exchanged our first emails. I told him about my life and, he told me his. All in all he’s had a pretty bad time of it. His second marriage is anything but stable. Subsequent emails between us have been light-hearted and funny and a little flirtatious – a bit of teasing, feel-good words and comments etc. Basically, we have a good rapport that seems to stem from the fact that we have known each other for such a long time. I would say we have A LOT in common.

    Yesterday, he sent me an email with a photo attached. A picture of the two of us together on holiday on the day we turned 8 and 9 years old. I sent a mail back telling him that I had a huge crush on him when that photo was taken, and in a very jokey tone said that I still do, lol, ha ha, that sort of thing. He sent back a jokey reply admitting that he’s had a life-long crush on me too.

    I am literally beside myself – elated beyond belief. At the same time I feel such regret that I’ve never let my feelings be known, or he, his. My husband and I have nothing in common, except our child. I haven’t had any romantic feelings for him for a few years now. Over the last few months I have found myself wondering about what I am doing and where it is all going. One thing I do know for sure is that no matter what, I would not abandon my child, and would not take my child away from my husband.

    I feel incredibly sad that my crush and I didn’t have the courage to tell each other how we felt years ago. I’m utterly convinced that we are meant for each other. I have had 3 long term relationships in my life, and not one of them has been anywhere near being a soul mate. Its like no time has passed between us. The fact that we are just much older makes it all the more comical. But this situation is no laughing matter. My emotions are all over the place. I have BIG LOVE in my heart that feels so beautiful I could cry, and I feel a happiness that I haven’t felt for years. My eyes are sparkling again and my skin looks like I’ve had a face-lift. I feel alive. I feel like I have woken up.

    The fact that we are thousands of miles apart is the only thing stopping me from going completely insane or doing anything foolish. I’m trying to be restrained. I don’t want to lose our friendship because I allowed myself to lose my head. I’m trying to be sensible. I feel liberated at least, now that I have made my feelings known. In an ideal world we would get married and have lots of children and live happily ever after. I am ecstatic that he has feelings for me. I am trying to convince myself that leaving it at that is better than having no friend, no soul mate, no-one to love unconditionally, no-one to flirt with and no-one to dream about.

    We are both in a very happy place right now and we are going to have some beautiful dreams.

  85. Maria

    The co-worker i have crushed on, leads me on than he sinks me to my lowest i can’t take it no more i think i am worth more. than to be waiting for him to give me a clue, or to even acknowledge me that i have feelings.

  86. Anonymous

    i had a crush on my gay colleague, and i think he likes me too. when i first time i saw him, i felt this is a man i’m falling with…but later found he is a gay, and taken…how i’m disappointed. But later he noticed me, the new colleague, and always try to talk to me sometimes, and we do shall a lot in common. Even every morning when i see him, i feel so happy.

    Once awkful time is when i saw his boyfriend, i felt uncomfortable and a little jealousy, i think his boyfriend found that and…I’m sure if he was a woman he would be aware of my presentence.

    Anyway, i’m still enjoy this silly crush, he makes my working days a pleasure. ahaha…

  87. Anonymous

    I have had a crush on my boss ever since I started. He’s not extraordinarily cute, but the way he handles himself I just find extremely sexy. Not to mention his intelligence. I ramble a lot when I talk with him. My guess is that he makes me a little nervous. I am not sure if he knows I have a crush on him or not. I am pretty sure he thinks I’m attractive though. From the moment I first met him he’s always had this way of “checking me out” that wasn’t overt and offensive, but enough to tell he’s getting a good look. In our very first meeting I kept catching him stop what he was doing (writing on the white board) and turn around and look at me. I’m not a troll or anything but I’m not a model either. Anyway, I’ve been here two years and I had a review and I caught him looking at my chest from time to time. Again, it wasn’t overt, but in that way where you know they know you saw them so they quickly look away.
    When I first started here we went on a couple business trips together. We flirted quite a bit but always within a certain boundary. On our first trip I went to his hotel room under the “guise” to ask questions about our presentation the next day. He sat on one side of the room and I on the other. It was all very professional. Nothing happened. But you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. On our second business trip I went out for drinks with some people we met at a conference we were attending. He didn’t go, being my boss I guess he had more work to do than I did and stayed in his room. Although our text messages about the decision to do so were very flirtatious – along the lines of him saying “I hate to miss it. Maybe you and I can get a drink later.” And him saying to me “You are cool and smart and I’m so lame that I can’t go.” It ended up that he asked me to give him a ring when I got back to meet up at the hotel bar. So I did. At the hotel bar our new friends and us ordered a few more martinis and I was feeling more brave so I started doing the flirtatious “touching.” I’d touch his hand and hold it for a few seconds while I was talking about something. . .I expected him at first to pull his hand away but he didn’t. He just looked at me with a smile on his face while I chated.
    Now here’s the twist. He’s married. I’m married. Nothing has ever happened between the two of us. But I must admit, I completely fantasize about it. When he and I have our one on one meetings and he is so earnestly looking out for my best interests in my career and such. I’m more than thankful. I want to get up and make out with him. But I don’t. When he sees me he compliments everything from my hair to my shoes to the earrings I’m wearing.
    But we are both married and I love my husband and I don’t want to be a home-wrecker. And I love my job and I don’t want to jeopardize it. So I just enjoy the sexual tension at work. Sometimes that is more exciting than the reality of anything that would ever happen.

  88. sara

    i’ve been married going on 3 years. over the course of that time, i’ve had crushes here and there which have all passed, so i figure it’s normal. right now, i have a crush on one of my husband’s good friends who we end up seeing most weekends and who i occasionally see through work. he’s tall, cute, funny, and kind of an a–hole, which makes him just my type. it’s distracting b/c i find myself suggesting my husband invite him along when we go out to eat, etc. i think he might like me too- he tries to be near me, waggles his eyebrows at me, and seems to like being the center of my attention. obviously, i’d never act on it, but he still stars in my fantasies sometimes, just to satisfy my curiosity. that’s what sucks about marriage- it’s not as though you stop finding other guys attractive and wondering what it would be like to date them.

  89. Maria

    What do you do if you think you really love this co-worker, but you know his just playing with you. It all atarted as a game but now i think i really did it to myself. And he does’t even like me as a woman, or at least thats what i think

  90. Anonymous

    i have a crush on my husband’s customer. I went to his house several times with my husband. At first sight i saw him looks like my ex boyfriend physically. He has a beautiful wife, a cute son and a lovely 2 months old baby girl. Oh my God I can’t help with my feeling. He’s not handsome actually but he reminds me of my ex boyfriend which I ended the relationship because of my parents’ disagreement. I have a happy marriage with my husband and my only son but i still live under my past love story with my ex boyfriend

  91. Anonymous

    I recently reconnected with an old friend, found out his marriage only lasted four months, that on his wedding day, she didn’t even look happy or look like she wanted to touch him. To be honest, my heart leapt for joy. I always had a liking for him, but never thought anything was possible because he was dating his gorgeous model girlfriend. No joke, she really is/was a model. I’ve moved 2700 miles from home, just broke up with my boyfriend (before I reconnected with my crush) and have been chatting with him via phone, although primarily chatting via Facebook. (where he is always the first to initiate the conversation…)Sigh…I pray God will direct this because I can’t waste my precious thoughts on anything that’s not worth it. I’ve played that card before and refuse to squander any emotion aimlessly. Dear Lord, keep me focus on You, and bring me the best!

  92. Lost soul

    To SapphireEyes, I really wish you are still following this blog. I read yours from last year and could relate to almost every word that you wrote. I wish I could write that nice. Recently, I’m experiencing a similar story to yours. I’ve been married for 21 years. Yes, that is right 21 years. We have wonderful life, three great kids, and we live happily. A few months ago, it started, I found out that my college former professor is having feelings for me. I always liked him, but not in that sense. However, the minute I heard that from him, my life turned upside down, an emotional storm that I can’t explain. We talked about the situation, and we both knew that this is wrong. In spite of this, and while talking and chatting, I slowly but surely fell for him. He is a nice, charming, bright young man, and very married!I enjoyed every moment with him, we mostly talked and chatted, debating what to do, knowing that this is not a socially or morally accepted situation. After a couple of months we met. oh, it was so beautiful and felt so right, like finding a missing puzzle piece. I must say again, that my life, up-till now were perfect, our marriage is a model for so many people. about a month ago, he emailed me that he won’t be able to see me again and that if we will take this further, he marriage will be destroyed. His wife started asking questions and he got very scared. I totally understand that, and we have talked it over, expressed our feelings, it was hard. Ever since, I am crushed to powder! I love him so much. I can’t take him out of my head! I’m crying and depressed most of the time. My family knows that something is wrong but can’t tell what. I’m lucky my husband does not bug me with questions but he is worried. I found myself questioning my feelings for him. Some moments I wish I was dead.
    I have talked with my crush, and he suggested that I’ll go to a therapy. He is going too. I went once, not sure how it made me feel, but it doesn’t seem to change anything. She didn’t say anything that I wouldn’t advice a good friend. I’m asking you SapphireEyes, since it’s been a year from your post. How are you coping now? did you ever recover? how was this process? I’m loosing my mind! I just can’t see the light right now, and really need any supporting words. Anybody there?

  93. Confused

    I’m a 33 year old career changer and have a huge crush on my co-worker/boss. He’s 30, newly out of a long term relationship and an amazing person. I’ve been unhappily married for 3 1/2 years – no kids. My husband and I have had problems from the beginning and they don’t seem to be getting better. My husband and I fight about everything – we just don’t have the same world view. His family is everything for him and unfortunately, I don’t fit into his definition of his family. His family is his parents, his two brothers, their wives and children. I’m at the bottom of the pile.

    My crush is a gentle, caring, smart, attractive man. I’ve told him the problems I’m having in my marriage and have even broken down and cried in front of him twice. He has always been supportive and calming – telling me that I’d be fine, that I’m smart, beautiful and capable of surviving on my own.

    My crush is such a good guy – he goes out of his way to help other people, he takes on responsibilities that aren’t his, he cares to make a difference. Not only that but physically, he is much more my type than my husband. I’m at least an inch and a half taller than my husband whereas my crush is about a foot taller than me. I often feel larger and bulky when I am next to my husband – I don’t feel feminine at all next to my husband. Versus my crush who I feel sexy and normal when I stand next to. We just fit better.

    I feel like I’m going to go mad. I obsess about my crush. I dream about him all day long. I long for him to talk to me. I stay around after work to catch a glimpse of him. I hang out near his office just to get the chance to talk to him. And when I do talk to him, I rush everything I want to say and end up sounding like an idiot. When I hear his voice, I get excited. When I see him, my heart quickens and I inevitably smile. My whole face lights up when I see him. I don’t know much about him other than what I see at work and our random conversations. I don’t even know where he lives.

    I just wish I had the chance to be hugged by him. To feel his arms around me. To have him put his arms around my waist and his hands through my hair. To have him whisper in my ear that I do deserve to be happy. That I am beautiful and worthy of love. I want to feel his warm breath on my neck. I just want to feel – even if it’s just once – what it’s like to have his lips on mine. What it would be like for him to just hold me.

    I know I want this all because I don’t get it from my husband. At this point, I don’t even WANT it from my husband. I want to feel alive again. I want to feel human. I want to feel emotion.

  94. Changing Ways

    I’m 28, I have married for 5 years, but with my husband for 10 years. I feel so lonely and depressed around my husband. He verbally abuses me and our sex life is not that great. For the first year or so we were married things were good, but for the last few years things have been really bad, I feel really trapped.

    To keep myself from going totally insane, I have had a couple of flings but nothing emotional, just physical. Recently, I have realised I have strong feelings for my business partner. He’s 35, he’s smart, full of energy, positive, happy, generous, socially enlighted, respectful, attractive and sexy. We went of a business trip recently to Darwin. We had a great time, he took me to dinner and treated me like a lady. I made a mistake and said I felt like he was like my brother. I feel like an idiot, because I meant to say, he makes me feel comfortable and happy. I developed strong feelings for him, but we have never kissed or had sex. He keeps looking at me, flirting with me and making me laugh. When we got home, things were different, like he still likes me, but now doesn’t know how to act. We usually talk all the time and feel like we are in another world when we are together. Neither of us have admitted that we like each other or are attracted to each other. He was about to get changed in front of me the other day, which took me by surprise, I didn’t see anything and nothing happened. I wish it had. But that night, I fantasised about laying him out on his desk and having a great time with him. To date, nothing has happened.

    I get them impression he is not happy in his marriage either because he keeps telling me about his wife spending all his money, not spending the weekends with him, her going to bed early and not having sex with him.

    I have spent the last few weekends thinking of him and what he’s doing. I just can’t get him out of my head. I am so confused, I just don’t know what to do. All I know is that when I am with him, I feel happy and alive. I want him to honour is marriage and his baby son, that’s why I haven’t put pressure on him.

  95. ComfusedMaria

    Ok for me to get this guy out my head i told him, to tell me that he doens’t like or has any interest in me as a woman. And this is what he said i can’t tell you that because i would be lying, and you would hate me and i don’t want you to hate me. What do you think this means this is going on my head day and night and is killing me and my relation with my husband anybody any suggestions please desperate here need some advice.

  96. Cant let him go...

    My crush I have known since college. I wont go into details because My luck he would happen upon the site. But I do have a crush, Not since college, but for a long time now. I love my husband and children very much. So Im glad to know its so normal for women who really are in love with their husbands to still have crushes. I think about my friend all the time. I know he does not feel the same about me because he does not always reciprocate my conversations, and times when I try to get him to go have dinner or lunch he is not always available. We have been good friends for some time and nothing has happened. I sometimes fancy that he does have feelings for me and just has to repress them. lol.

    Anyway, thats my crush story. I am praying everyday for it to stop so we can go on as friends. I love him and cant lose him as a friend.

  97. Anonymous

    I am married and in the military….i married my wife due to the fact that she became pregant and i wanted to do the right to be there for my family…I am a great father but lately the relationship between me and the wife has been disappearing…back in the day i had a crush on this girl but never had the courage to speak with her …well for about a month now we have started speaking on a regular there is a def connection there..but we both have kids and she is engaged …i am so frustarated with my self for never saying anything but i am just not sure what to do…i think she can make me happy but i have to think about my kids and also her situation there is things that i might not be able to give her that her man can give that she is with right now….the connections that we both have for each other is strong she even admints it..but should i tell her how i truely feel….

  98. CrushedOutOnAYoungerMan!

    I am married and I have a wicked crush on a guy at the gym that I go to. It’s what gets me up and at the gym at 5:30am! I’ve only talked to him once, and I’m sure he knows I’m married and have kids as I’ve seen him at the gym on the weekends when I’ve been with my family. My husband is great – he’s loving and understanding, my bestfriend, he helps out around the house and with the kdis and he’s responsible, yet has a wild side. He would be devastated if he knew of my crush. I have to hope that I never have the opportunity to act on this crush. I might do it, even though I love my husband and that hasn’t changed. This crush is no reflection on my relationship with him – it’s completely separate. I’m not sure why I’m so drawn to this guy. He’s got to be only about 23 or so, and I’m 39. He does have a great physique, and he seems a little mysterious. I’ve caught him looking at me many times. He’s been around my area in the gym more lately – on the treadmill next to me, etc. I really want to talk to him, but then I don’t – I really don’t. But he’s all I’m thinking about, and I don’t even KNOW him. I daydream about encounters with him, and even sex. I don’t understand this part at all: my husband and I have a great sex life, my husband is very attractive (other mom’s from my circle of friends have commented on how handsome he is), and he’s so good to me. Yet I think of this guy, whom I don’t even know, not even sure if he’s thinking of me?!?!? We’ve shared long looks, and 45 minutes on treadmills next to each other a few times. That’s it! Strange how this can be!

  99. Shameless

    No. I do not have a “secret” crush or even a crush my spouse knows about. I firmly believe if you’re secretly, or even openly, crushing on some other guy, despite the fact that this behavior is upsetting your husband and most likely making him feel incomplete as a man, you’re nothing more than a street walker that doesn’t deserve to be married or a mother because obviously, you haven’t grown up yet and still like being a slut. Unfortunately, you’re installing that slutty behavior into your kids to continue the cycle. For those wives that have taken the step further by actually sleeping with their crush, you’re worse than a street walker that deserves all the destruction you wrought upon yourself. I laugh everytime when women cry on the shoulders of others after being thrown away like the trash they are onto the streets alone because they cheated. Justice is bliss.

  100. SHORTY

    This is for (confused on April 15, at 9:22 pm) I think i feel the same way, but my crush usually is always inviting me to a hotel and telling me what hes going to do to me. Everything sounds so exiting that i have considered the option of going to a hotel with him, but i can not tell when he is being serious about it.

  101. Anonymous

    I just developed a crush on this guy my fiance knows, whom I had met a couple times but never really paid attention to – that is until a couple weeks ago. It was like meeting someone completely new for the first time. We were at a bar with my fiance and some of our friends, and he and I just stood outside talking for ages, and even then felt some strange magnetism to him.

    This weekend, we all went camping. We kept finding reasons to run off together, not to do anything naughty, but just because we enjoyed being around each other. We were very playful. I knew there was something amiss when I kept hoping to find him in a dark corner.

    I am engaged to be married in October. I’ve done this to myself before. Gotten out of a boring relationship for an exciting, temporary one. My fiance is stable, and loving, better looking that this crush, with parents who love me, and I know we can get a long for a while. I don’t even think this crush has feelings for me. It’s just throwing a wrench in to the gears of my mind.

    I am feeling so bad and guilty. And then, on the other side, I feel exhilarated and love sick – the same way I felt when I met my fiance over two years ago. It’s very confusing. Amy I just wanting what I can’t have? Or am I freaking out because I’m about to be tied to one person for the rest of my life?

    I’m really confused and freaked out by the intensity of feelings coming up for this new guy.

  102. anonymous

    I have a deep crush on a fellow colleague (married and older) at another office.

    The other day I caught him watching me at an event while I was waiting for my friend. My friend and I had to then walk by him…we stopped to say hello. He was on his cell phone and spoke only to my friend…and completely ignored me. Didn’t even look at me…or acknowledge me. I was devastated. When I mentioned to my friend that I was snubbed…she joked that he probably thinks I’m a “hot mama” and was nervous around me. I don’t know if I buy that. Am thinking that it’s all one-sided and I shouldn’t get too excited about it. It’s probably for the best.

  103. Anonymous

    I don’t know how to say this but I have had 2 crushes during our 9-yr marriage. We have 2 kids and I love my family. Deep down I’m the extremely shy type who never ever pursue guys and I have only had intercourse w my husband in my life. But socially and professionally, I have normal friendships w guys. I consider myself physically attractive (size 0 despite of 2 kids) and professionally successful, and a good mother.

    The first crush happened abt a yr after our first one was born. My husband is a good person in general but he could say very hurtful things once in a while. So one day he yelled at me saying I was fat and should look at myself in the mirror, and that he would go look for someone else. I was outraged and up to this date I am still not completely over this is what he said to the mother of his child who was only 117 lbs at the time and the extra few lbs were a result of his own sperm… I was managing a project at the time and this single guy on my team confessed to me that he was completely attracted to me and he didn’t know what to do. I normally wouldn’t have reacted the way I did ( as I work in a male-dominant industry, unwanted attention is common and I am good at keeping people at bay…) but unfortunately w things domestically not going too well I started to have feelings for him, as he was very fit, dark, successful (has his own firm and consults w multiple clients), and we did have lots in common. Anyways, nothing over the board happened as I was very strict on not having any physical contact that’s beyond normal friends, and I turned down the expensive gifts from him including diamonds… To the most part at that point in time, for the sake of my kid and my own honor. Then, I accidentally got pregnant w husband again, and decided to get out of the confusing state and just focus on family. During my maternity leave the single guy left the company I was in, he still contacts me every once in a while but at least my crush was over ( or had to be over w/ the state I was in)…

    Then the second crush happened abt a yr after our 2nd kid was born… I was re-orged under a new manager and I just clicked w him so well. He is tall, handsome, kind, smart, stylish, fit, funny, down to earth, married and has two kids of same age as mine, and we share so many common interests. I started lunching w him and his work buddies regularly and I also became the top performer on his team (I work very hard to earn that status, I always do so people don’t compromise my achievement because of the way I look, it’s not easy). He had high regard on my work and pushed hard to promote me in the organization. I was appreciative for what he did for me. I probably think of him more often than I should but I have never let my feelings out and have kept every interaction professional, plus, being married w two kids and really no time to daydream and that he is married too, there is absolutely no way this could be anything other than a good boss/employee relationship. It wouldnt have been a problem for me to maintain this but one day it kinda chained things on my end. So I stayed in his office a little late that day, as it was the deadline for everyone in my company to switch over to a new tool, and being new on my work computer that is on a completely different operating platform,

  104. Anonymous

    I don’t know how to say this but I have had 2 crushes during our 9-yr marriage. We have 2 kids and I love my family. Deep down I’m the extremely shy type who never ever pursue guys and I have only had intercourse w my husband in my life. But socially and professionally, I have normal friendships w guys. I consider myself physically attractive (size 0 despite of 2 kids) and professionally successful, and a good mother.

    The first crush happened abt a yr after our first one was born. My husband is a good person in general but he could say very hurtful things once in a while. So one day he yelled at me saying I was fat and should look at myself in the mirror, and that he would go look for someone else. I was outraged and up to this date I am still not completely over this is what he said to the mother of his child who was only 117 lbs at the time and the extra few lbs were a result of his own sperm… I was managing a project at the time and this single guy on my team confessed to me that he was completely attracted to me and he didn’t know what to do. I normally wouldn’t have reacted the way I did ( as I work in a male-dominant industry, unwanted attention is common and I am good at keeping people at bay…) but unfortunately w things domestically not going too well I started to have feelings for him, as he was very fit, dark, successful (has his own firm and consults w multiple clients), and we did have lots in common. Anyways, nothing over the board happened as I was very strict on not having any physical contact that’s beyond normal friends, and I turned down the expensive gifts from him including diamonds… To the most part at that point in time, for the sake of my kid and my own honor. Then, I accidentally got pregnant w husband again, and decided to get out of the confusing state and just focus on family. During my maternity leave the single guy left the company I was in, he still contacts me every once in a while but at least my crush was over ( or had to be over w/ the state I was in)…

    Then the second crush happened abt a yr after our 2nd kid was born… I was re-orged under a new manager and I just clicked w him so well. He is tall, handsome, kind, smart, stylish, fit, funny, down to earth, married and has two kids of same age as mine, and we share so many common interests. I started lunching w him and his work buddies regularly and I also became the top performer on his team (I work very hard to earn that status, I always do so people don’t compromise my achievement because of the way I look, it’s not easy). He had high regard on my work and pushed hard to promote me in the organization. I was appreciative for what he did for me. I probably think of him more often than I should but I have never let my feelings out and have kept every interaction professional, plus, being married w two kids and really no time to daydream and that he is married too, there is absolutely no way this could be anything other than a good boss/employee relationship. It wouldnt have been a problem for me to maintain this but one day it became different. So I stayed in his office a little late that day, as it was the deadline for everyone in my company to switch over to a new tool, and I just got a new laptop that is on a completely different operating platform and company policy was that platform is self-supported. So, I faced losing access to the tool next day, and I didn’t quite know how to do it on the new laptop. My boss had been using the same kind of laptop for a while so he kindly offered to help me out, no reason I should have said no. So the setup took a little time and after saying lots of thank you I was rushing my way back to pick up kid, drop kid off at home then ran to a school open house, w/ the only thing entered stomach being gulps of cold air. Mean while, didn’t realize my cell phone had a memory hang and was completely dead the whole time. After I got home, the very first thing I got, was my husband’s distorted face and yelling at me in the face, in front of both kids and my mother in law “WERE YOU SLEEPING W YOUR BOSS?!!!”… pause here… ladies anyone had worse than this? Guess what I had that night during the very few minutes of sleep I got between endless tears.. Yes a dream about my boss and his comforting smile and words… and that was how I started to have this crush and I am still not over it… My boss knows nothing about this, and I show no sign of domestic trouble at work… I really wish life isn’t this complicated. I am an honorable person and I am trying my best to maintain honorable… Now my boss has moved to a new group and he is asking me to move over too, I would in a heart beat for a good boss like this but I am scared to death of how the combination of my crush and unresolved domestic troubles will push me into…

    Now that I’ve pushed this off my chest I feel so much better… Thank u for the site!

  105. SHORTY

    I am so glad we have this web site. I am hurting, I am trying so hard to stay away from my crush because I am sure I love him. And I don’t want to hurt anybody I know he does not like me. So I fell in love all by myself.

  106. kitty

    I have a crush on the site supervisor for the recently-completed construction project at work. I’ve been married for 16 years to a man I knew I didn’t like being with 17 years ago. We have a son.

    I didn’t fall head over heels or have a love at first sight feeling about the site super, but between February and April I came to realize he was listening to me, and respected me, in ways that my husband doesn’t and that matter to me. Although the site super has a girlfriend and knows I’m married and have a child, he flirted with me anyway, in a very sweet and restrained if somewhat intense way. (Who knew construction workers could have intense, meaningful, eye-locking gazes? Well, they do, apparently.)

    Although I’m not stomach-flutteringly in love with the super, I like him a great deal. I like him in a solid, want-to-know you better kind of way, punctuated with silly panicky feelings when I have to call him.

    I try not to talk to him too much, because I have to respect his time on other job sites, but I love to hear the warmth in his voice when we talk, and I love to hear him laugh at things I say. I know he likes me.

    The mellowness of the crush, and its durability, unnerve more than its existence. The reciprocity unnerves me, too; I know he’ll never do anything as long as I am married. And I know I won’t either, especially not with him. I respect us both too much for that. I value and enjoy the time I spend with him, and talking to him and like the fact that I can tell he enjoys it too, even if nothing ever happens.

    He’s been a catalyst for me to go back to therapy to address the fact that I don’t really like my husband, and didn’t really want to marry him. Now we have a life together, a history, and a child. I can’t destroy that for a principle, and I won’t wreck how I like the super by ending my marriage.

    After August I may never see the super again, but I’ll remember his voice and what he said, his fabulous profile, his blue eyes and black hair. And I’ll remember that there is more to life than settling, and that some men like women who are direct, strong, smart, and challenging. That may be enough for me to find a way to peace in this marriage.

  107. Anonymous

    I have a ridiculous and inappropriate crush on my boyfriend’s nephew. I won’t say my age or his but I’m 11 years older than him. It’s so stupid. We flirt pretty much whenever we see each other and did for awhile through text but I said we shouldn’t because of the ramifications if the texts were seen. There’s been a lot of touching, mostly on his part (he grabbed my ass!) and sexual innuendo. I know it’s completely stupid but I can’t get him out of my damn head. If only he weren’t so tall, dark and handsome. 🙁

  108. emmy

    I got another tattoo about 4 days ago. It was such an exhilarating experience…because I was head over heals for the tattoo artist.
    I have been with my husband for 4 years. We’ve been through a lot of good things, but many bad things as well. We have a great connection and there is love between us…but I do not understand why this person had this effect on me.
    He’s Colombian, I’m Colombian. He spoke with a soft, sweet tone…oddly enough he kept banging into me or bumping into me as I waiting in the chair for him to get the tattoo machine ready. He kept sweating…oh my god and his light blue eyes were that of a little boy’s…he would keep looking up at me as he was inking my wrist. I swear, tattoos never hurt me too much, but this one I did not even feel.
    We spoke about art, about my design job in the city and his tattoo career taking off…His eyes were so full of expression…i’m just melting at the memory of gaze. I don’t know if it was purely a thing of my imagination,or if I did at least attract him in the way he did to me…UGH if I could only read his thoughts as he held my wrist in his hands…as i felt the warm breath from his mouth moisten my palm…omg I’m going crazy! this is crazy!!!
    my hubby had stepped out for a moment from the parlor, and when he came back inside my attention was split now and I kind of calmed down. The tattoo artist was almost over. I didn’t want him to. He changed his gloves, complaining that his palms were really sweaty. He did this another time after this. I remember thinking, “Wow, he must have sweatier palms than me!” Perhaps he was nervous? or maybe this is a fragment of my overactive imagination as well? When everything was over my hubby (who is close with him) said his goodbyes as the artist explained to me that if I needed a touch up, he would do it for me for free…to come back in about 2weeks or so, so he could check up on it. My knees were weak…I was so upset, I was having a bad hair day…had a regular outfit on haha…had a tough day at work…yet this tat meant so much to me, and the hands that did it on me left me on fire. As i said my thank you’s and goodbyes, we shook hands and he winked at me with a shy grin on the corner of his mouth. Boy, was I ignited after that! I had that replaying over and over in my head afterwards.
    I went to bed. I woke up the next day, consumed in thought over this man. I swear, I don’t know what this is but it is driving me insane. My hubby would be very upset if he found out, and I don’t want to cause the artist any problems either, he’s too sweet for that. I won’t lie though, I would die to know what it is like to have a kiss from him…to hear him whisper my name or to hold me…I think I’m going crazy. It’s been days already and he’s still in my head! I have to go see him again to check out my healing tattoo, and go over plans for another tattoo I was planning to get some weeks from now. He’s an excellent artist before being anything else, but he is driving me crazy…I don’t know what to do. I know I SHOULD NOT act on this, but part of me feels like giving in and seeing where it might go…I know I’m kinda messed up in the head…but I don’t know what to do.

  109. Anonymous

    I am obsessed with my husband’s best friend. He just used to be a really friendly guy and then Tuesday my husband went over to the guy’s apartment to hang out a little bit. Long story short I helped him fix his toilet and he had to stand close to me I was so turned on I could not believe it. He is going through a nasty divorce, his estranged wife would tell me how he would compare the two of us and say that he wanted her to be more like me. My marriage is pretty good and I do not want to destroy anything, But I am being tortured in my mind all I do is think about him. I have cheated in the past and do not want to go down that road but the feelings are so strong there is no way he could not feel what was happening between us. I will just have to get over this *sigh* perhaps a different place or time and it would have been him and I, sometimes life just sucks.

  110. Anonymous

    Sorry for the confusion, My husband and I both went to the apartment, I just ended up fixing his friend’s toilet and hoping that maybe one day he will clean my pipes. How do people go on for years like this? I am at my wit’s end after just a few days! Anybody been through this for years could you offer me advice? They really are best friends and I cannot destroy that or my children for being selfish. I just need to learn how to cope.

  111. Fiona

    I have a huge crush on my coworker who is 16 year younger than me. I love my husband and my little baby. I don’t understand why I have this funny feeling about him. He is smart and love his voice. I really want to know how I can get rid of this crush. He is so much younger than me. What’s wrong with me.

  112. Broken Hearted

    First of all I did not know my coworker was married, e does not wear a ring and never talked about a wife and he has no children. we started flirting at work and then harmless texting and emails back and forth. to me it bacame a crush on this man. The other night we were texting and I was a little more foward about how i feel for him, and he replied he had to quit playing with fire, that he scared, himself and that it was his fault, sorry and that he was goofing around and didn’t relize he was getting to close to the flamees, I said I understand and he replyed ” Your cool, sorry about that. With that we have not contacted each other, I am avoiding him like the pleg at work and I’m so Hurt, he broke my heart, and I don’t even think it fazed him. I ahve no cofidence in men, there all just players!

  113. Anonymous

    13 years married with The One. No questions about it. Almost 2 years confused for a crush with another. He is everything my man is not. Worse than everything, I know perfectly that he’s wrong for me. We are very similar, his public profession brings him in touch with tons of other people who are mesmerized by his persona. I think we are way beyond that stage, I think I know the person behind the persona and we never talk about his public life if for practical reason.
    I never met him in person nor intend to do so, because I would destroy my life and the damage would be all mine, I’m sure. We have emailed, chatted, told each other secrets and very personal things, a couple of times even cybered – this for almost 2 years. He made me discover a side of myself that I did not know I had. He knows about my feelings for him and I think he does not really believe me, because I’m steadfastly refusing to meet him and bring things to the next level (the abyss). I am also convinced that he has not given up on me because I am “the one who said NO”.
    Luckily we live in different continents.
    I really do love my man and I am committed to him. I’ll never hurt him, no way. Yet this mesmerizing attraction-crush that I sometimes call love is like a constant thorn in my side, and I don’t want to suffer anymore when I have everything a woman should have. I feel guilty but what is inside you cannot be stopped or controlled. I tried everything possible. When I break communication, he’s there again.
    I thought we could be sincere, real friends and nothing else. But there is a strong attraction between us, strong to the point of feeling it without ever having met him, so the friendship pretend isn’t possible.
    I am just playing the friend and hoping that it will go away one day.
    But it hurts. And it does not go away. When I hear from him I’m happy and stay in a good mood all day. He’s like a miracle drug.
    I also think that life together is what makes a couple a REAL couple, and not a cyberversion of a relationship. I have thought that meeting him could be a way to end it because, you never know, I might actually not like him. But the risk that I might actually like him A LOT makes this another “solution” to discard.
    Anyone can throw me a piece of wisdom?

  114. Anonymous

    Previous poster, I can totally relate. I’ve been happily married 21 years to The One. I have everything a woman could ever want, a loving husband, 3 great kids and a wonderful life. My crush is exactly like what you describe, a drug. Totally came from out of the blue. Instant attraction the first time I met him, it was like a bolt of lightning. We just “get” each other… On the days we talk I am in the best mood, I just breathe him in. I feel a definite attraction/chemistry on his part too but he knows I’m married and he has a girlfriend and so there’s this unspoken thing going on between us. In a way it’s kind of sweet when we exchange smiles, it’s like our special secret but sometimes the longing is just about unbearable. I think about him nonstop. I’m wondering if this feeling will ever go away.

  115. Anonymous

    OH I feel so much better that this is so normal…..

    I have a big crush on a co-worker, he’s a really great guy. we are both single and at first when i met him he was not looking for a girlfriend (or so he said). Men like to say that to those who they are not interested in. Well basically I confessed to my crush my feelings while riding home on his motorcycle. (live that bike) Will of course he’s feelings were not returned and he’s still seeking Mrs. right. we have remained friends and I’ve made the decision to be the bigger person and just love and support my crush and accept any girl that comes into his life. But it sucks that i ended up being hurt and disappointed that I wasn’t the one he wanted to be with. I’ll get over it of course and someone find that someone has a crush on me. and when and if I do, I’ll give them the chance and who knows maybe it will be exactly what i was not getting from my crush.

  116. Anonymous

    I have a huge crush on a coworker. We have worked very closely for two years and have become pretty good friends. Other coworkers have suspected that we were dating in the past because we are always together. Alas, I have had a BF for 8-1/2 years, so nothing will happen between us (not that my crush would let it; he is too nice). My BF moved in a year ago and still has not proposed, which I think is causing me to start looking for someone who wants a traditional relationship. My coworker is smart, funny, cute, and responsible. I realized that I liked him when he blurted out that he has had a GF when we were out with coworkers last week. I was so upset and now I know why.

  117. Anonymous

    When I was 16 I developed a huge crush on this really hot guy that worked at the campground where we had a seasonal site. I was completely obsessed with him even during the winter when I didn’t see him. It lasted for about 3 years until I finally got some sense and realized that I didn’t have a chance with him. I was an unattractive, skinny, flat chested specimen with braces. He was pretty close to perfect. I really wish my friends or family had just come out and said “look it ain’t gonna happen” but they didn’t. I cringe when I recall some of the crazy shenanigans that my girls and I pulled in my pursuit of this guy. And he was really such a nice guy he took it all in stride.

    Anyways, I moved on and grew up and went out with lots of different guys. I am married now with kids and a pretty good life. I hadn’t thought about this guy in years until one night I had a dream about him. Ever since, I can’t stop thinking about him and trying to find him on the internet to see what he is doing.

    I wish I could stop but for some reason I can’t! Any suggestions about why I am doing this after all these years? I never think about the guys I went out with so why can’t I stop thinking about a guy that was just a crush?

  118. Vickia

    I don’t know how it happened – it just did. He walked into my office one day and the core of my body to my toes and fingertips just melted as I looked up and said hi. He’s 18 years older than me and we talk often – some say too often. I am notorius for not taking lunch breaks and he’ll come into my office, sit down and we chat (so, I do end up taking a break, just not lunch). I know a few people at work have an idea of my feelings – and perhaps his feelings – as there are “you two” comments yet they are quite subtle. I know it’s lame, but more than not we talk about what we’ve been watching (usually recorded/DVR) and though we have never watched anything “together” we are almost always watching it the same night and time as the other. A couple times he’s ‘lent’ me his Netflix because he thinks I’d like the movie – which I always do.
    The difficult issue of all this is I may soon become his supervisor, which would absolutely cut this relationship from growing any more. He’s been divorced for years and is not seeing anyone currently – I am only recently divorced, less than a year. This crush has been going on for 4 months and while I’m not sure I’m ready for a relationship, I wouldn’t want to lose something with potential.
    Keep it a secret or put it all out there… I just don’t know. Wish me luck and *hugs* to my fellow crushee’s.

  119. Anonymous

    I’ve been married for 12 years & have 2 kids. I love my husband more than anything. He’s a good man & we have so much fun. There’s this guy at work that I have amazing chemistry with. We have flirted over & over for awhile. Last week we both admitted there’s something between us. I feel like I’ve been turned inside out & I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop thinking about him & I can’t hardly sleep or focus on anything. I feel myself falling but he is married too with a daughter. I feel like he is too nice a guy to act on things. This is the first time I’ve ever known that I would do something if I had the chance. I cannot believe after all these years I’m totally losing it over this guy. Knowing he feels something too makes it 10 times worse. I’m making myself sick over him & I know it’s wrong but I can’t stop. I can’t even tell anyone about it because it would spread like wildfire & I would literally get in so much trouble. When we are in the same room together with other people, I can’t even look at him or I will totally betray myself to everyone. In my mind we have done it all a thousand times in a thousand different ways. He’s the only guy I know who can make you feel like you’ve been physically touched when he looks at you. I have a physical reaction to him & my heart races & I feel like I can’t breathe when I think of him.

  120. fifi

    I have recently developed a crush on a co-worker. I am not married but I am in love with my boyfriend. He is the most wonderful guy I could ever ask for, so sweet and loving, perfect for me. Sure we have our differences sometimes, but nothing we haven’t been able to get past.
    About 2 months ago I started a new job. I was glad because all of my co-workers are great and fun and super nice. There was one guy I thought was kind of attractive, but I dropped it pretty quickly. However, I work with him a lot (I am training to be a manager and he is one of the people training me). I love working with him! We tease each other a lot and have a lot of fun. We also work hard when we need to. Everyone at work jokes and teases each other, him included, so it’s not that unique or anything, but I like it with him more than anyone else. When we had a theft at work he was pretty mad but I managed to cheer him up, which made me happy. Then, when I had a rude customer, and I was really upset, he really cheered me up and made my night so much better. I know it’s bad and it was just for a second but he rubbed my shoulder and it felt so good! I felt so guilty for liking another guy touching me, even for just a second and in a completely non-sexual way. But I can’t help it! Lately, I can’t stop thinking about him. My boyfriend knows that I like working with him and has confessed that he is a little jealous about it. I don’t blame him, I feel the same with his female co-workers. I have not told him that I have a crush though, I would feel too bad. I hope it will just go away, even though I secretly don’t want it to!
    My co-worker is in a relationship, and we both know about each others’ significant others. I am glad that we are both in a relationship so that there is no chance for anyone to crush too much, if he is crushing on me too! I hope he is, not so that anything could come of it (I would never cheat on my boyfriend, or be the one breaking up a relationship!) but so that I am not the only one! I would never tell him either, I know he is in love with his girlfriend as well, and I am happy for them. I would just like it if he had a small crush on me too!

    This has been weighing me down a lot the past few days, but I felt too guilty to tell my boyfriend! Thanks so much for this opportunity to share!

  121. anon

    “Shameless” posted on 27/4/10, you’re a bit of a nutjob.
    The definition of infatuation is “An object of extravagant short-lived passion”. Although some unfulfilled crushes are not short-lived and have gone on for years, you’d find that 99% of the time, once acted on you’d wonder what all the fuss was about and why you’d wasted so much time fantasising about this person.

    Its only human to project qualities on the object of your affection as a means of escaping a lonely, unfulfilled life. The longing and ‘what if’ fantasies fill a gap. It’s a bit sad that we can waste years of our life wondering if this person was the ‘one’. I don’t know what the answer is, but a possible solution is to work on making your life happy and fulfilled without this person.

    My experience and observations are married men generally won’t be the strong ones in these situations, its harder for them to leave a marriage, often their wives become a mother figure to them and they can’t leave the stability offered at home for an unknown, untested new relationship.

    If its still just a crush and hasn’t yet evolved into an emotional, intimate relationship, be wary of taking it any further, particularly with co-workers, managers, neighbours and husbands friends.

  122. workingmom

    I have a crush on my married boss, and I am struggling to hold back my feelings for him.

    By default, I would say that I am quite a serious woman at work – so little or almost no flirting with other guys in the office no matter how cute they are. This is partly because i have been in a situation where flirting has turned into something more serious and there was trouble. So from experience, I grew smarter. This was a long time ago. I have since been married for 7 years and the marriage is still going strong, and my record has been clean so far.

    Right off the start, I actually did not look at my boss in any other way other than a boss but i did see him as an extremely bright, talented and accomplished man. I was keen to impress him professionally as I was new to the job.

    But lately since I returned from my maternity leave, I find my boss subtly flirting with me over and over again – eye contact, tonnes of attention, lots of smiles, lots of humour, looking when I wasnt watching, etc. It left me scrambling at first because a) i was not used to people flirting at me in the office, b) I sucked at flirting, and c)the last person i expected to flirt with me was my boss. So of course at the end of the day, I was very surprised and flattered.

    But then he started to confuse me – on quite a few occassions I thought that my boss was becoming way too observant of me that it made me think this was beyond just “courtesy” flirting. I thought, does this guy have a crush on me? I wasn’t sure at the time, because like I said, I suck at the flirting game. To anyone serious though, I was feeling as though he was having a crush on me. I still wasn’t sure at the time, but all I knew was I was starting to feel some tension. At least I felt it. I think he did too.

    He has never crossed the line, but his actions were starting to consume me. Then again, with him being a natural charmer – I could very well expect that may be other female colleagues would have feelings for him too. Gosh I really felt like I was in highschool all over again.

    So I have started to have a crush on him. And I have started to think a lot about him, and are distracted at work. that being said I would always prioritise work, but whenever there is down time, I will think about him. I feel bad though because I know this is eating into my family time – my husband, my kids, etc. and its not fair to them. But how can I stop having feelings for him? This is not just some random guy on the street – I see him almost everyday in the office. He is my boss! I have to report to him. I cannot ignore him. And right now I am still thinking a lot about him…

    A girl friend has told me to just “enjoy” the attention from him. But I am finding it difficult to do that. If no one crosses the line – this may be a matter blown out of proportion, but honestly how can you stop feeling attracted to someone whom you see everyday and is in almost daily contact? Its not like he has stop being nice to me either. My system at this point just does not know how to treat flirting and attention as something very casual and that should be dismissed. I know nothing will happen between me and my boss, because that would be an absolute disaster. So I have been trying to stop, but I am still struggling not to think about him. This is so excruciatingly painful!

  123. Anonymous

    Sisters! Thank you for sharing your stories! I have been feeling like a complete whack-job teenager but I cannot stop fantasizing about a co-worker. I have had a crush on him for a while now but recently had to start working with him more directly and am feeling out of control. I love my husband and he is a great guy, but I can’t help my very primal attraction to my colleague. I am trying not to go all cougar predator on him or make any stupid decisions. Lordy is it frustrating!

  124. Anonymous

    I somehow developed a major crush on a neighbor that when I first saw him thought he was odd and peculiar, but somehow familiarity bred attraction and we’ve had a few insty-eye-lock glances where we both don’t want the other to know we’re checking each other out.
    He is so handsome and sexy and cool. I can’t believe I can’t get this man off my mind and feel like I am back in junior-high. Help!

  125. Anonymous

    Not a mom but this site seems interesting! I’ve developed a terrible crush on my boss at work. It confuses me because he’s not my type at all, he’s so much older, he’s my BOSS, and I’m still madly in love with my boyfriend of more than 2 years whom I live with. I do have a thing for older guys as my boyfriend is 11 years older than I, but my boss is like 20 years older! I have a theory or two on why this crush has developed, it happened two weeks ago when I went to work to buy some art supplies (I work at an arts and crafts store), and I had dressed up because I was running errands around town and while I was perusing the store, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was my boss! He was running around on the sales floor and happened to have next week’s schedule with him which was something I needed to check also. We chatted for a few minutes and then I was off on my way. But there was something about that incident which was different from all the times we interacted. That little tap on the shoulder instead of hollering “Hey” or “Hello”. I’m crazy for thinking this, but I think he was checking out my legs (I was wearing a short little dress with pantyhose, much different from my uniform) and thought I was a customer, until I turned my head and he saw who I was. And something about imagining (or not imagining this…maybe it is all in my head) has been a turn on….I think it’s the feeling of being desired by someone that is exhilariting. Now when I go to work, I am still myself but I make sure when we have our team meetings and he’s talking to the group, that I’m looking directly into his eyes when he talks, but not for too long, then I pretend to be disinterested….my old flirting habits are kicking in again. It’s kinda driving me crazy but I think it’ll fade. Well I really hope so, and with all my rationlizing, I know this won’t turn into anything nor do I want it to. But like I said, the idea of being desired is quite fun….

  126. Alexis

    I have been married only a year and I have a crush on a guy that I have classes with at my college. It all started Spring of ’09. I was planning on getting married at that point in Oct. 09, which we did, and we’d just found out that Jan of 09 that we were going to have a baby. So here I walk in March of 09 about 3 1/2 months pregnant at that point into a poetry class, and there was the guy I developed a crush on! I thought, “well, this is just silly in me and I’m pregnant and getting married in a few months! I have to get over this!” Besides, who in their right mind would pay any attention to a pregnant woman, right? So, I ended the class early due to pregaancy complications and I was put on bedrest. Our college is such a big campus that I thought that I would probably never see this guy again in any other classes, plus I planned on taking off a quarter after my daughter was born. I thought that was my chance to get over myself and this crush thing….and it seemed to work….until Jan. 2010. I was married only about 3 months at that point and I had JUST decided to start back to school and I only signed up for one class to start off slow cause I really wanted to ease myself into being away from my daughter. Until that point I had not been away from her hardly at all and she was 5 months old then. Well…here I go walking into my first day of Advanced Fiction writing…when who happens to be in my class, that’s right my crush! I couldn’t believe it actually…well..I managed to stay the quarter to myself and not act on anything and we didn’t do any type of group work in this class really, so there was no contact with him, but I noticed that I didn’t think it was just me with a crush on him anymore. I noticed him looking at me almost every day and quickl looking away if I noticed. So the quarter ended and the next quarter I didn’t have any classes with him…and summer came and I took off and didn’t take any classes at all I thought I was over it…however…during that time frame came troubles with my marriage and I started wondering if I really loved my husband and married the right person. Marriage became to me something of a prison actually… make matters worse…I walk into my new Freelance writing class Sept. 2010…and there is my crush again! =O I was pretty shocked that we just happen to be picking the same classes at the same time like that. So…this class entails a lot of group work…so we’ve been actually paired together a great deal and working together…and the more I’m around him, the stronger the crush seems to get. It’s gotten to where I no longer have any real emotional connection to my husband at all…even though I know he loves me…and I don’t even know for sure how much my crush even likes me….but I am left wondering..did I really marry the right man? Everyone told me NOT to marry him actually…they told me not to do it and I didn’t listen…and now I’m miserable and doubting myself…I don’t want to divorce because I’m afraid he’d take my daughter away back to his home state. He’s from California and hates it here in Ohio so badly that he often talks about how he doesn’t want her to go to school here when she is older. She is only 14 months old now. Also, I am not financially able to leave him. I am still in college and only work part-time. He pays all the bills….so I pretty much feel stuck and I don’t know what is wrong with me. Why don’t I love him anymore? Or was the first meeting of my crush the sign from the beginning that I was marryig the wrong person for me? I feel so confused in my head right now! I would never cheat on my husband though…no matter what, I don’t believe in that. I hate having sex with him though and I don’t enjoy it at all..and it often makes me wonder, do I hate sex cause I am not attracted to my husband or would I hate it no matter who I was with? I really have not ever been physically attracted my husband though…I certaintly did not fall in love with him for his looks, that’s for sure! LOL..So I’m just in a confused place I guess…hopefully I figure it all out someday soon..

  127. Sigh.....

    Ever since the first time I layed eyes on him, I’ve been attracted to him. I look at his actions and morals, and they don’t always match with mine, but I still somehow can’t get over him. It’s been about 4 years and I still feel the same. I’m way too scared to say anything, especially because he has a girlfriend. He has gone through many, all of which never worked out. We now work at the same place part-time. Lately he’s been asking when I work to see if he works at the same time. He tells me that he enjoys working with me and that I make it fun and go by faster. It hurts when he says that because I know that its just a friendship thing. Also, I’ve never dreamed of anyone before, but I’ve had a couple of dreams with him in it. I really wish I could be with him, but its just complicated right now. I’ve been hiding it for so long and its so hard to do, I don’t know whether I should tell him or if that would mess up everything we had. Why is this so confusing?

  128. Anonymous

    I met a guy at a networking event yesterday and my heart jumped out of my chest! When he introduced himself I almost didn’t let go of his hand. During the event I made it a point to be nearby or chatting with him – I could tell he was looking at me and engaging me. He would look into my eyes and give a flirty smile. When the event was over and I shook his hand I SLOWLY let go and I sensed he was doing the same. I haven’t been getting along with my husband for the last few years (married + 2 kids) and all I could think about last night when I got home was slipping into the sheets with him. I will probably see him again at these networking events and it will be hard not to act on my desires (and being honest, there is strong desire!)…

  129. Anonymous

    Another one with a huge crush. I have been married happily (or so I thought) for 28 years to The One. Then because of a personal tragedy in my life I met my crush 5 months ago. He is happily married with a family and always talks about them when I see him (and likewise I talk about my husband). He has never shown any sign of attraction about from mild flirting – but that is just his way. He is well known in his field and has lots of women attracted to him too!

    However since I met him I can’t stop thinking about him all day every day. It came so totally out of the blue and was instant – I have never felt like this before. For a while I was convinced that everything happens for a reason and that what happened was fate and that one day we would be together.

    I am so depressed and cry lots because 1) it hurts so much and 2) has made me realise that actually the spark in our marriage has gone. My husband is kind, thoughtful and caring but I just don’t fancy him in a physical way (this started way before I met my crush). This has turned my world upside down. I will never leave or hurt my husband (I don’t think) but daydreaming about how I might end up with my crush is not doing me any good. My husband puts my tears down to sadness at what bought us together in the first place as I am still going through a grieving process.

    I will not see him now for another 4 months so I am hoping that these feelings will subside and life will go back to it’s mundane but comfortable state.

  130. Anonymous

    I have a serious crush on one of my husband’s employees. My husband and I have been married for 10 years and I love him very, very much. That’s why I’m so frustrated and annoyed by my feelings. My crush is seven years younger than me and doesn’t even have his life quite put together. I know that nothing could ever come of a relationship with him but pain and disappointment. It would ruin my marriage and ruin my crush’s & my husband’s strong work relationship. I know all of these things for certain in my mind, yet none of these things seem to matter to my heart.

    I’ve felt these feelings for about a year and a half now, and it seems to be getting worse in part because I’m pretty sure my crush has feelings for me too. Whenever we’re together, he pays extra attention to me–wanting to talk to me more than everyone else in the group. I catch him staring at me, volunteering to run errands with me if we’re hosting an event, and going out of his way to share parts of his life with me. Sometimes when we’re together, he’ll “accidentally” brush his hand against mine, put his arm around my shoulders, or stand too close to me. I can feel the heat between our bodies, and it is driving me crazy.

    I want to tell him that I have feelings for him, but I know that would be the worst possible move to make. I’m sure he can already tell that I’m attracted to him too, whether he admits it to himself or not.

    Somehow I wish I could take a short hiatus from my real life of responsibilities and ethical decision making. Selfish though I know it is, I just want to do something for me!


    I keep telling myself that these feelings will go away with time, but it has been almost two years now, and nothing has changed. If anything, it is worse!

    Thanks so much for this forum to share. I feel like I’ve had to keep these feelings to myself for so long, and it actually helps to spill everything out on the page.

  131. Anonymous

    Happily married for 20 years with a crush on my husband’s friend. Yikes! He has been flirting with me for the past four or five years which I was able to ignore until last year. Not sure what changed but suddenly I had a crush. He is in a new relationship now so I hope he is no longer interested. I hate feeling this way!

  132. christina

    I am so glad to see so many women struggling with the same thing I am struggling with! I am happily married for 12 years…I’m 38 years old. I love my husband very much, but physically, lately I just have no magnetism to him…….now, I started working part time and I have a huge crush on my boss. He’s tall, charming handsome, has the cutest voice. He’s only 1 year older than me. I have dreams about him kissing me at night, and daydream about it too…I even have to stop myself from thinking it while he’s there talking to me!!!! I just keep thinking to myself …”all I want is for him to kiss me….just to feel his soft lips against mine” Oh…and he’s married too, with a daughter. I notice that he checks me out a lot, and gets clumsy around me, trips often drops things…etc….I do that too when I’m around him…..

    Ugh, I just feel like my heart is in a tiny cage & with every expanding heartbeat it hurts…..I wish he would take me in his arms & crush his lips against mine….and then I would be ok……I don’t wan’t a relationship with him…I think I just want to be wanted & to exchange a delicious kiss….but once I get a taste of it I might want more & more……….

  133. Anonymous

    I have had a crush on my best friend’s husband for some time now. I am in a new relationship with someone, and I love him very much. But there is just something about my crush that makes me want to be with him. To be honest, my crush isn’t even really attractive, whereas, my boyfriend is. I think it’s just the idea of someone new. And my crush is very smart, funny, and clever. It’s nothing I would ever act on, I love my friend and my boyfriend, but it’s just good to get it off of my chest.

  134. Anonymous

    I started a college course in September and have since became close friends with someone on the course.

    I am engaged and I know me and this lad would never end up together or anything. I am only 21 and he’s 37, but we get on really well.

    I think he is good looking and people in college say we have really good chemistry. I trust myself 100% but I am a bit concerned the way we are coming across with each other if this is what people are saying?!

    To me he is like the brother I have never had as I only have a sister and he is an only child.

    Can males and females be great friends!?

  135. lostinyou

    i have a huge crush on my husbands friend…it all started in february this year…it was his glance…my guts say he has fallen for me too, but he sends mixed signals…i want to KISS him 🙂 i do not think this will ever happen…

  136. Anonymous

    we know each other through work. i am quite a bit older than he but he is in his early 30’s so it’s not like i have a crush on a teen or a 20-something. i am sure he is aware i am older, but he probably doesn’t know how much older as i look younger than my age and have a small/slim build. i am married with two kids; hubby is caring and all that but doesn’t do anything with me. most social engagements i go solo. the bedroom is dead. this is damaging because i feel undesirable. so when this younger man starts to pay attention to me, obviously it makes me feel a lot better – smile, spring in my step, etc. Unless I am missing something, I do feel a huge attraction between the two of us which seems to have grown enormously over the last few weeks. we have met outside work on a few occasions for drinks but no funny business. the last time we hooked up socially, he rushed a quick hug before he departed, which took me by surprise.
    maybe i am up for a no-strings affair? who knows if i could live with myself but i think about him all the time and am finding it difficult to focus on anything. am feeling rather foolish over this and thinking ‘who am i kidding?’he’ll run screaming if he finds out how OLD i am. 🙁 the saga continues …

  137. inkd betty

    I sort of have a crush on my tattoo artist! I wonder do they encourage this for the money.. Lol. Seriously I don’t think I’d have the ink I do if I didn’t enjoy being around him so much.. He’s so cool n funny and I enjoy my sessions with him.. He’s someone I’d be freinds with n real life but I don’t know how to make that happen.. I don’t have the hots for him. Esp he’s married. But I feel such a freind connection I miss him when I’ve not been inkd n not seen him. Its stupid. And yes its just a connection w him. Maybe his personality makes everyone feel like this idk but my other artist works in the same shop n while he’s cool I wudnt miss him if we lost contact.. F me running..

  138. Anonymous

    I have a massive crush on an guy I know through work. I have no idea how it started.. I barely talk to the guy… when hes around I get flusterd. Too bad hes married 🙁

  139. Anonymous

    i guess i gotta crush on a guy i met on a hes the coolest, most humorous, lovable and friendly but unreliable and career-seeking person I know. I love being with him and could imagine spending ma whole life – only with him. We had a wonderful but short time together: sounds harsh but seriously its been 3 days in my city – 1,5months later in his city – and then he decided to end it. He said he enjoyed and still wnats to get to know me but has to concentrate on work and is not looking for a girlfriend at the moment. What am I supposed to think? – asshole. right. but hes not. and all my friends say the same. hes coming this week – to my city – and wants to see me. what for? he’s bringing stuff over he promised last time – and he wants to apologize. talk. we’ll see. I need a few things clarified: is he playing with me?! What does he wnat to achieve? He’ll see how I feel about that shit.. but I gotta see him. and ask him why… on the other hand: I know I’d forgive him everything – coz I got a crush on someone I barely even know… and is keeping me on the back burner. desastrous.

  140. Anonymous

    I have a major crush on one of my managers at work. He is funny and very attractive. Sometimes I can’t wait to find something to talk work with him about just so I can talk to him. I also get really nervous and I am pretty outgoing otherwise so I am afraid it is obvious. Sometimes I think he might be feeling the same way about me because he can be really friendly and flirty with me sometimes, but by the next day at work is always super serious after that. I know nothing will ever come of it because he is my boss, so I just try hard!!! everyday to put it out of my mind. I don’t think I have ever wanted someone so bad…but then again it might be because I know I can’t have him.

  141. shorty

    I need to get this off my chest, I want to tell my best friend at work but afraid she might tell somebody else or worse get back to the guy I have a crush on so getting to my story, I have a son and I’m engage and I’m going to be moving closer to my job and I have a crush on this guy at work, it turns out that a couple times he would tried to say hi to me but he missed judge me cause he thought I was stuck up but eventually when I switch shifts I starting talking to him, how to get to you game, then I found out he listen to the same music that I listen to and then from there at break time we talk and hang out with no one else around, everyday he burns cds for me and always smiling at me and he a got a dirty mind and he is always joking with me and I feel so bad cause when I’m at work I just want to talk to him but when I go up to him sometimes I forget what I wanted to say and when I get home from work I can’t stop thinking about him and wondering what he thinks of me, I hate crushes but I’m so glad I got this off my chest for tomorrow is a new day and it is my crushes birthday which I made brownies for but my man don’t know till next time, if anybody can help me to deal with this

  142. SHORTY#2

    Ok I acted on my crush and I am not proud of it, but I would do it again. He was great he did things that no one else has ever done to me. I know that he is a player he has slept with so many women that I would not be able to count them but a guess thats what makes him good at it. But ever since it happen he hasn’t called at all its that normal or does he espect me to call him any idias as to why. He still makes me want him more each day or am I sick. All I think is what can we be doing, I see him and thats all I think

  143. Allie

    I love reading these.

    I’ve been married to my husband for almost a year, been together about 8 and a half years. We are doing great now, but a few years ago we were having problems due to a number of things going on in our lives. My husband had this friend back then who I was just instantly attracted to the first time I met him. I thought this guy was so hot. And he was just so funny, I loved being around him. I was unhappy with my boyfriend, so I made it my mission to try to get his friend to like me. My bf traveled a lot for his job so his friend would come over sometimes like if I needed the driveway shoveled or something. I just loved being taken of like that, my boyfriend didn’t do that stuff for me.

    So then I would text him and call him when my bf was out of town to help me with stuff. One time we met at a sports bar for a drink and I got drunk on purpose so that I would have the guts to try and seduce him. He followed me home since he knew I was tipsy, and I asked him to come in and watch tv. I was being really flirty with him and he kept saying “knock it off” but in a playful way, as in “you’re going to get us in trouble.” Every time he said that I would get so turned on and would want to hear him say it again.

    Finally I told him that if he laid in bed with me until I fell asleep I would leave him alone. Obviously he was attracted to me bc he totally did, saying that I have to actually fall asleep though. Of course as soon as we get in bed I start to cuddle with him, and since I was drunk I was bold enough to get on top of him. He kept telling me that we can’t do this, but then again he sure as hell wasn’t pushing me off. I took my pants off and I had made sure to wear these black lace underwear and he liked that. We did end up having sex and it was so fun bc he wanted me and it was so wrong of us. With him I was so different than with my bf bc I turned into this confident girl who knew she was wanted.

    The whole thing was fun- texting, flirting, etc. But eventually it got too deep for me bc he was actually falling in love with me which I was not counting on! Part of the reason I was attracted to him in the first place was bc he was kind of a player and a “challenge” for me. So when he started getting real feelings for me I ended it. It was surprisingly easy for me for some reason. He ended up moving to another state so I don’t have to worry about seeing him or anything.

    I am now married to my then-bf, but I don’t regret what I did. I don’t think I would have done it if I actually had been married at the time. My husband and I are very happy, but I glad I got to get that out of my system, and it is still fun to think about. I do hold a special place in my heart for this guy bc I was different with him, and he made me feel so pretty. I wouldn’t say i loved him, but I was really fond of him and of how he flirted with me. He was so good at it 🙂

    I guess thats it! But I do know now that the reason I had my crush was bc something (well, a lot of things) in my relationship wasn’t being fulfilled. We ended up working through our problems and are doing well now!

  144. Anonymous

    I’ve had strong feelings for a man slightly older than me, since I was a teenager.It was a simple girlhood crush and I knew he was married with kids. I’ve known him for over a decade, but we lost touch for several years and recently reconnected.I had hoped my feelings would go away but they were as strong as ever. Unfortunately it would be very inapropriate, if not unethical, to act on these feelings. I have to accept the boundaries and enjoy whatever time I get with him.I wish I could say something but I dont want to lose what we have or embarass myself.I cant tell if hes flirting with me or being kind or both.I want to find out what his faults are and try to see him in a different life. You cant control who you fall in love with I guess thats why theyre called crushes. ouch. I believe in fairy tales and secretly wish I could be the one exception to the cheese ball is that.

  145. Anonymous

    YEs, with one of my dance partners. At first I did not pay attention to him, but now I find myself being anxious to go to the next class and dance with him! Wow!! I do not want him to know, trying to be discrete about it and that’s what makes it more exciting! I can’t tell if it is mutual yet, as he has only giving me some playful innocent and flirtatious signs! What do I do??? I am just having fun and loving the moment with this feeling!!

  146. on the edge

    Ok so I have to put this out there cus my brain cant hold it.. i have been with spouse (not married) for 12 years this time 3 last time. We have 5 kids 3-11yrs, he is emlotionally unavailable, abusive in many ways physical to mental etc. i am not allowed 2 have friends and the only person allowed close to family is his Best Friend whom has been involved for 9 years. by involved i mean doctor visits help with kids emergency contact etc and Also the person whom my spouse has been throwing me at for Anything he doesnt want to do/hear or deal with for over 7 years now. so this “friend” has been like my nanny, second set of hands, assistant, Support system emotionally, physically and mentally and my Best Friend. he has lived with our family and Is a member of our family and will be because kids call him Uncle and he is that 1 person u can ALWAYS count on! Over the years he has experienced/witnessed more “Fights” between spouse and I than I can remember and has always “Stayed Close” to help me with ANYTHING..

  147. on the edge

    Sorry.. long story (I truncate when can) So this “Friend” has been through 3 pregnancies, 10+ E.R visits (stitches too), dhs case and also was “Foster Placement” for kids while removed from home. two of my emotional breakdowns he was ONLY support.. I called him late at night & woke him cus I was Falling apart and all I could say sobbing hysterically was “I need you” and he was OTW! then he sat on floor in hallway with me till he got me to move 2 couch where I cried on his shoulder till fell asleep. that was the 1st time we touched (never a hug, brush of the hand nothing in 4 yrs of 24/7-365) After that hugs were Great Comfort 2 me from him and re-charged me n things were better. he helps do dinner- keepn kids out, helpn me and talking and we can txt for Hours. we talk about everything and he usually not make big decisions w/o talkn 2 me.. last 6 mo abuse been bad, concusion, bleeding face Gettn BAD and hit friend too.friend is now a physical NEED 2me.I ache 4hm & consumes thoughts and We Havn’t even kissed!

  148. on the edge

    Guess end got lost so here is rest.. this friend of ours has seen me through 3pregnancies, E.R visits(kid stiches too)and 2 emotional breakdowns.. i called late at night and said i needed him and he was there! sat with me while i cried and then was shoulder to comfort me until I cried self 2 sleep!! all these years and he’s been there and i have never Thought things would cross that line.. but I woke up 1 morning and he consumes my thoughts now, and I ache to feel his arms @ me.. 2 feel secure and understood and Know he won’t hurt me and Feel emotions when we touch instead of nothing… AND i want to know if this is Just a Crush..or if I Awoke 1 Day In Love??

  149. Lily

    Have a crush on my cute co-worker. Since April 2010 it has been on and off. Sometimes my heart aches and have butterflies in my belly just thinking of him. I think he likes me too and other people can see it.

  150. Anonymous

    Hahahaha! Oh I told EVERYBODY who I like!! EVERYBODY in the WORLD! So normally, it would go back to him. Although, the man HATES me. He deleted me off facebook and he wont talk to me. Look, I am NOT obsessed with him and I never stalk him or anything! I dont talk to him unless he talks to me! I never knew that it was such a crime to like someone. Normally, this sort of behaviour would be a huge turn off. But with him, *sigh*, everything he does is so cute. And each day that goes past, I fall more and more in love with him. Why, I dont know. I will never know why I like him. I have liked him for nearly three years now. THREE YEARS! Let’s just say that if I had to choose between him and the sun, I would be loving him in the dark :). I STILL LOVE YOU!!! Baby I would make you king.

  151. Broken hearted

    Well yeah I like someone. But the man hates me. I have liked him for three years now. He deleted me off facebook and he wont talk to me. Gee, I never knew it was such a crime to like someone :(. I wish he was mine. I have never ever liked someone for that long before

  152. Joja

    I have a massive crush on a married man who lives so close, I can see the top of his house from my bedroom window! I can see when his chimney is smoking cause he’s lit fire, when he’s in his attic cause the lights are on…I am married myself and about a year and a half ago and we were in a bad place back then. I sort of developed this crush during that bad time.
    Funny thing is, this man has had his eye on me for years and I never gave it a second thought before. Things have been worked out with my husband now but I seem to be unable to let go of thought of this guy. Never talk to him anymore ( used to, before I had this crush) probably better as it could easily lead to some sort of affair.
    My husband knows I used to fancy this man, but thought I was over it until we bumped into him last week and I went bright red…All the secret thoughts I have, I felt so caught. Wish I could go back to not caring about him…or have my cake and eat it, but that will never work.

  153. Anonymous

    I dont even know how I came across this web page but I feel relieved knowingthat aim not the only 1 in a commited relationship who has a secret crush on the side. I’ve been with my bf 4 a little over a yr and love him so much that I never thought I would develop any “crush” on anyone but about a week ago I’ve been going crazy over a frequent client at my job. I know it might nor turn into anything bcuz I cannot b unfaithful and secondly, I wouldnt have the nerve to reveal my crush to the guy. But like some of u have said, it so hard!! And I also wish I could just get one hug o slight kiss and then forget all about it 🙂 well that’s my confession, i feel so much better knowing I’m not the only person going through this. I don’t feel guilty anymore 🙂 xoxo

  154. XoXo

    I have a crush on a married man that go to my church. Hes a musican there. I’m a few years older than him and known him all life but I never looked at him that way until 07. Prior to that, I barely noticed him then suddenly in 07 I find myself attracted to him. I often catch him staring at me too. I want so badly to have hot, wild, sex with him. I finally got up the nerve to request him as a facebook friend. I was hoping he would inbox me to tell me hes attracted to me but so far it hasn’t happened :(.

  155. NoBody

    I had a crush on this guy I used to work with for almost 3 years, I know he had a crush on me too. We never dated, but we always used to flirt a lot. Later, I started to date someone else and got married. After being married for about a year, my sister starts to date my crush. Its really bothering me, and I talked to her about it, and she said to me that he never cared about me, and thought of me as a friend. I know him more than she thinks, and its really sad how my sister doesn’t respect my feelings. She never told me she was even dating him until I found on later on fb. How sad. I dont know what to do… I am still inlove with my husband. I just find it weird to know my sister would do that to me. I am just hurt by it. She said: you are married now, so its doesn’t matter, but it does to me.

  156. AM

    I’ve had a huge crush on one of my fiance friend’s for about 10 years now. My crush got me and my fiance together, even though he liked me too.

  157. Anonymous

    I am have been happily married to The One for 7 years…together for 14 years. He is my best friend without a doubt and he loves me!

    I was promoted to a new position about 2 months ago. I’ve known the guy who is now my boss for 2 years, but never thought much about him. The hiring process for my job was very competitive – 12 people applied and there were supposed to be two rounds of interviews but my boss knew he wanted me for the job so they offered it to me immediately! It felt good to be recognized for my hard work and talent for once! At firsr that is why I had butterflies when I saw him but as time goes on, I find more and more that excites and intrigues me.

    My boss is somewhat quiet and reserved at work. He is the consumate professional and he is beyond dedicated! Before I even worked for him, I knew he was going places in the company..everyone knows it! I admire that so much about him and I never want to be a bad reflection on him. I work hard just to get a compliment from him!

    I’ve also discovered he has another side to him. He is amazingly funny! He also thinks I am funny and I live to make him laugh! We often exchange witty banter in conversation or through instant messages. He has this side to him that is so unexpected! He has a tatoo which I never thought he’d have! When he gets frustrated he’ll curse under his breath – which again, is unexpected.

    I look forward to talking to him every day, whether it’s face to face or through instant messages. He sends me funny little emoticons sometimes. When he was running late once or twice he called to let me know & I was so happy to hear his voice. Last week he was off on Friday but he texted me to ask how it was going (total workaholic!) and I teadingly told him to relax and enjoy his day off. He later texted me a picture of his beer and asked if that was better which just made me smile! (So dorky!)

    Even though he’s my boss, his desk was recently relocated to the other side of the floor from me. I was so sad he would no longer be sitting next to me that everyone knew it! Yesterday he was at my desk helping me with Power Point and said “I know you miss me” to which I replied “I do miss you!” (what else could I say?) Sometimes I feel like he us flirting but he us such a nice guy I can’t be sure.

    I know this will never go anywhere. I already promised myself I’d never confide in him about my marriage (not that we have any major problems) and I’ll never go with him for drinks (don’t want to let my inhibitions down) In adfition to me being married & him being my boss, he is also 7 years younger than me so it is really never going to happen! I know he cares too much about his career and he has a high moral standard, yet I want him to want me and I can’t stop thinking of him. Last night I dreamt we kissed and it was amazing but I know it’s going to stay just a dream! I hope my crush eventually fades and I won’t keep dreaming that he might be dreaming of me too…

  158. Anonymous

    I have a crush on a married coworker who is my best friend. I never dreamed things would turn out like they have, I feel like he has taken advantage of me and I try to talk to him about it, but all he will ever say is he can’t explain something when he doesn’t even know what happened. I am really bad about bouncing around in a conversation so let me start at the beginning and try to write all this in a way that halfway makes sense. He and I became friends almost a year ago, it started innocent enough, talking, joking, and laughing. We talked about everything under the sun including past affairs we had both had. We e-mailed each other and spent every free moment together. He has a bad habit of throwing paper wads, and still does to this day, and one accidentally went down my shirt one day and really just joking told him he should go after it since he threw it there and he did! One thing led to another until day after day we were kissing each other and touching each other. I honestly wanted nothing more out of the relationship then a casual fling and the physical part that goes along with it, but somewhere along those lines we ended up as best friends who tell each other everything. I am married myself and my best friends wife was pregnant at the time this all began and she had the baby in December. The last day that he worked before going on his leave with the baby we kissed and talked about how we would miss the other while he was gone. When he came back though, it was like things had totally changed. All of a sudden he wanted no kissing or touching of any kind. He still talked and continues to do so making sexual comments and stuff but there is no more physical parts at all to the relationship. I have tried and tried to talk to him and I think that it has just made it worse, I don’t see how someone can be that attracted and then just stop altogether. I tell him all the time I am hurt by the way things have turned out and wish we had never did any of that stuff to begin with, no matter how hard you try you can’t forget what it was like and I am reminded of it everyday when he and I are in the same room alone and I feel the tension. I would not trade being best friends with him for anything in the world, but I can’t help being hurt at the same time because he stopped the physical side of our relationship so suddenly and tells me I should probably just give up on him ever wanting that part of the relationship back. I have so totally fallen in love with him and it is hard on me knowing that I will almost certainly never have him.

  159. mysteria11

    I have a crush, admiration, “in love” feeling for my college professor. It is not just a lust. He is smart, genuine and sweet. He loves animals because in class he talks about his pets. He is about 20-30yrs older than me, not married nor am I. He is so thoughtful about people as well. When he talks to us about his clinical experiences and decisions he has made, he really cares about doing what is best for his patients, not about money. He is what a doctor should be. It hurts me that we can never be close, and I don’t mean that just in sexual reference. I just want to hug him. He is sweet. What should I do? Probably NOTHING, because it is unethical and unprofessional……He is going to be my professor for the next year or so. I know I will have to try and let feelings go……What can I do?

  160. That Guy

    It seem like a fairly common thing for people to want what they dont have even if they have something better. I too have fallen into this slum of self paining. I am married a year and a half now, and just recently moved into a house. Typically I befriended our neighbors, and as the time passes I find my self not going for the mere conversation with Tom(changed name) but more so just to get those few seconds of eye contact from his wife. Its to the point to where I tone out Toms voice because Im so distracted with the thoughts in my head led by her.

  161. Anonymous

    I am engaged (in long term relationship for over 10 years) but have a serious crush on manager after getting a new job. I have not been sleeping and have not been finding it hard to sleep. I feel different and revitalised somehow. However I am very career focused and know I am serious predicament. I love my new job but at the same time and I don’t want anything to jeopardise this new opportunity. But it is difficult to control feelings – when my manager looks at me I just melt. I have told no one of my feelings including my fiancee. I am unsure now how I feel about my partner and just want to be alone. I know I was in love before but not sure anymore…

  162. Lynn

    I have a crush, admiration, “in love” feeling for my college professor. It is not just a lust. He is smart, genuine and sweet. He loves animals because of the references he makes in class about his pets. I am 27. He is about 20-30yrs older than me, not married nor am I. I believe no kids also, nor do I. From talking to him, it appears we have similiar interests. He is so thoughtful about people as well. When he talks to us about his clinical experiences and decisions he has made, he really cares about doing what is best for his patients, not about money. He is what a doctor should be. It hurts me that we can never be close, and I don’t mean that just in sexual reference. I just want to hug him. He is so sweet and caring. What can I do though? It is a shame. I know that is unethical and unprofessionaI. However, I realize that I will have to remain professional and let it go but I doubt the feelings will go away anytime soon since he is going to be my professor for the next year or so………..

  163. Guilt

    I am married for 17 years with 2 kids. I have crush on my friend whom I know 4 years ago through working on project in the same company before he left. We had good time working together and got close since then. Both of us have solid marriage at home. We text each other frequently sharing how much we think/miss each other and we meet up for birthday dinner celebration. We enjoy our dates, nothing beyond dinner and friendly hugs. My hubby doesnt know this friend exists and would be terribly jealous and upset should he finds out. I feel bad and guilty (and worried about hubby finding out later) but simply cant stop thinking of my crush……

  164. Anonymous

    I’ve had a crush on a man for the past 3 years. My husband (The One) and I will be married for 8 years this July. My husband is my best friend, and I will never do anything to hurt him. I haven’t brought myself to tell him about the crush because it hurts me to even think about the hurt look on his face. I worry that admitting the crush will cut him deep, and it will just always “hang” there for us. I usually try to be very direct and honest in all of my relationships, so keeping this secret from my husband, the one person I feel I can totally trust, has really started eating me up inside. I feel that I have to get this out, let it go, and finally, find the fortitude to tell my husband eventually. I just keep hoping my feelings wane first. Maybe they won’t until I speak up. The longer this goes on, the worse I feel.

    With that said, I am crushing on this married guy that I started working with 3 years ago. I was completely infatuated at first sight. I had never in my life felt this mix of lust, curiosity, and emotional longing — not even for my husband. I can normally express myself well. However, when I would see my crush, I turned into a stammering child. I would either offer nonsensical chit-chat, or WORSE, I’d say nothing at all. We’d just stand there, not talking. Worse yet, I’m sure I’ve been caught giving longing glances on multiple occasions. So many times, I just wanted to say, “Don’t mind me! I just THINK I’m in love with you, and it’s really messing with my head! It’ll pass. Go away.”

    The whole thing became irritatingly Pavlovian. I’d see him, then I’d blush, stammer, tremble, and run. Every single time. I couldn’t even manage to be friendly with him, which might have cured all of this. There are plenty of people that I like and act friendly with, but I don’t constantly feel inclined to jump any of them.

    Anyway, last year I thought I’d get a reprieve. Part of our company was acquired, and luckily, he was included in that deal. So I haven’t even seen him in the past year — not professionally, not around town, nothing.
    But I still think about him. I am ashamed to say that sometimes Google is involved.

  165. Raylene

    I recently had a misscarrage when I was four months pregnant this last January and then I found out my husband was meeting with another woman and having lunch with her. I’m not sure if it’s because I hate my husband right now but my neighbor is soooooo sexy!!!
    He’s tall, bald and extremely well built with a bad boy attitude…
    I want him, if only for a night or two or six, & oh yes, he will be mine! 😉

  166. Anonymous

    i am a maried woman and am falling for another women which happend to be my daugther teacher. i dont know whats happening to me because i never felt like this before with any women i am not that way. but when ever i see her i started to feel really sick in my tummy.i would leave school the old day thinking abouth her am very attracted to her she very beautiful and kind.there so many thing going through my head if i should write her a letter to let her know how i feel. then i dont know how she will react i might freak her out has she is a straight women like myself she have a 4year old son.i myself is not gay and i cannot get this woman out of my head i sleep with her i wake up with her in my head i just dont know what to do.i never been with a woman before and i think if she like me back i may take it to the next level by dating her and see where it might take me only if she react wich i dont think might happen because i dont have the heart to walk up to a woman and tell her that i fancy her i just dont know what to do i cant seem to get her out of my husband is cheating on me with a nother women which i dont care because he reuin everything he and i ever had. and it not because of that i feld for this woman. there something special abouth her and it capture me i never felt like this for any one in a long time. it ashamed she a woman. and if i choose to go down this patch what people going to say about me. i might just keep it a secret without any one knowing.if i do happen with us keep finger cross. there you go i confess my dirty little secret go tell the world

  167. Anonymous

    Hey, Lynn (April 2): I’m a college professor, so let me tell you how to handle your big crush. Wait until he has submitted your last grade, and no longer has any responsibility to evaluate you or supervise you.

    Then send him a really hot note and ask him out for a drink. 🙂

  168. Anonymous

    I have a full on intense crush on my boss that I can’t shake! I know it’s never going to happen..1)He’s my boss 2) I’m married and really do love my husband – he is “the one” 3) He’s younger than me..I could have babysat for him when I was in high school! Despite all this, I am totally enthralled by him and worship the ground he walks on. He’s totally lovely!

    I’ve known him for two years but have only started to have feelings for him since I began working for him a couple of months ago. I only knew him casually but as I have gotten to know him I’ve found myself feeling more and more attracted to him.

    Physically he is the kind of guy I always thought I’d end up with. He’s tall (I’m 5’9″ so I always thought I’d end up with someone at least a bit taller than me) He’s not in the best shape but I like someone who is a little cuddly. He’s brunette and has big brown eyes. He’s clean cut and dresses rather preppy which I love (button down shirts and dress pants or khakis every day) and he smells AMAZING!! Hubby is blonde slightly shorter than me..nothing like what I normally go for..not bad obviously as I did marry him but different just the same.

    My boss is very into his career, He works harder than anyone I’ve ever known! Despite his tremendous work ethic and his drive to succeed he truly cares about everyone on our team and wants to help them succeed. No question is too small for him to deal with. I admire how he presents himself and how hard he works. Seeing how hard he works makes me want to work harder. I want him to be proud of me and always feel confident that he made the right choice in picking me for my job.

    He has a bit of a wild side as well which I’ve come to find out about and totally makes me wonder in what other ways he might be wild! He’s hilarious and a little dorky! Making him laugh is one of my daily goals!

    We have a lot in common as well..similar tastes in movies and we are both passionate about sports.

    A couple of weeks ago I thought I was starting to get over him. I was afraid I was acting too friendly and unprofessional so I started acting a little cool and I convinced myself he wasn’t into me anyway and I stopped thinking about him but in the last few days everything has resurfaced again.

    Everything he does plays with my emotions. He is very intetested in my career and has suggested classes I can take and ways to make myself even stronger in my career path and his care makes me feel special. He checks up on me and asks how my day is going and will tease me through our work instant messenger. (Never inappropriately) I know it sounds like nothing but I KNOW he doesn’t interact that way with all of the employees that work for him.

    Today I brought in homemade cupcakes for the team and he had one. I asked him how he liked it and he said it was the best homemade cupcake he’s ever had! That made my whole week!! He could have totally been exaggerating but I don’t care! Any way I can make myself more endearing to him I’m all for!

    I hope the tingles and butterflies die someday but I hope with all my heart my Superman feels even a twinge of what I feel for him even though I know it will never ever be a reality.

  169. Lynn

    Lol, thank you (april 10th)! I feel crazy because there is such a big age difference (approximately 26 years). However age is nothing but a number right? I feel that maybe he may feel that I am too young. To April 11th, how old is the guy you are crushing? Lol, this guy sounds similiar to the guy I am looking for……

  170. Anonymous

    i’m 34; i’ve been married for 2.5 years and with my husband (who’s 29) for 7….he is awesome and treats me well and i want for nothing. we don’t have kids and probably won’t unless there’s a “surprise” later on 🙂 yet i am attracted to a 42-year-old guy in my volleyball league and have been for about 5 years. not sure when it started – i originally thought he was an a-hole, but then one day i realized that i was attracted to him and i was like, uh-oh. it’s because we have the same sense of humor and feed off each other. i get butterflies and the giggles and just act really stupid around him. i tried to imagine kissing him but that doesn’t appeal to me. my husband and i have always had a very physical type of flirting, even before we started dating; i wanted to rip my husband’s clothes off right away and i don’t feel that way with this other guy. i know i don’t want to sleep with him, but what is it? i think i’d like to be friends with him but i won’t let myself because i don’t want my husband to get jealous since they don’t really know each other (they’ve only met a couple of times). i am more of a guys’ girl and always had a lot of male friends before i met my husband, but after we started dating i let those friendships fall by the wayside to “protect” my husband. he isn’t really the jealous type, but you never know. he and i have some mutual friends, and i get along with all of his guy friends, but i don’t have any of my own and i don’t know if that’s a good idea. i worry that he would feel threatened if i made new friendships with guys outside of our marriage, if that makes sense. however, this other guy – i know we would be good friends and i know how to keep my hands to myself; i think part of the attraction stems from me “forbidding” myself from being friends with him.

  171. April 11

    Lynn – He’s 28…I’d have to approve of you, of course but if that age works for you & you promised to make him happy I might be inclined to set you two up 😉

    So I think my crush is getting a bit better. Earler this week “Superman” said he might buy me cupcakes because he wanted to thank me for working so hard lately, but he either forgot or decided against it. I have today off and he did say “Can I change my mind about the vacation day? I need you!” I feel like he’s so hot & cold & it’s helping to quell the fire a bit…. a teeny bit!

  172. Anonymous

    I have a crush on one of my good friends. I dont think he likes me that kind of way though. I would feel really horrible if I told him and he said no. :S I want to tell him but it is so hard.

  173. Anonymous

    I am in my late twenties, happily married and have this ridiculous crush on a co worker who is around eight years my junior. I don’t know where this is coming from, but it’s driving me insane!!!!!

  174. naomi

    I had a baby with my boyfriend. Before I started going out with him I was in LOVE with this guy. We started fooling around when i was with a guy. I had sex with him when i was on the phone with my boyfriend. i told him i just ran thats why i was so winded. we had a thing for a couple of months and i broke up with the guy and told him the truth. i started going out with the guys cousin so we stopped talking from there. he has been rude really rude to me. i broke up with his cousin and he started liking me again. pretended like there was nothing wrong. so did i. i starting going out with my babies dad and he starting talking to me and telling me he wanted to go on a walk. just a harmless walk. one time we made out and he gave me a pack of cigs. i told my boyfriend that i was on a walk with my “girl” friend and that she needed someone to talk to. The guy and i walked around the track at a middle school close to home. we stopped and just started making out. we stopped he asked me to spend the night with him i told him no. sometimes i wish that i didnt like the other guy so much. its been two years since we have talked and i wish that i was still talking to him. i wish that my baby was his baby and i would fight with him instead. i still talk about him to people i dont know so they wont be able to tell my boyfriend. i dont just have a crush i am in love with him.

  175. naomi

    the worst part is is that his girl friend is just like me. he tells her that he loves her and wants to merry her. it breaks my heart to let him go

  176. Anonymous

    I’m so glad that I finally find a place to say this – I’m having a crush on him. It’s been driving me crazy recently, and I can’t talk to anyone about it.

    First of all, I’d never want to pursue him or do anything. He’s happily married, and I have been with my b/f for several years. And he’s my mentor. So both personally and professionally, it’s a dead end. I guess what I need is to dig a hole, bury my feelings, and move on.

    I’ve been working with him for quite a while, and though I always thought he’s smart and funny, my crush started rather recently, about a few weeks ago. (Well, I might have paid extra attention on him before, but within the normal range I think, until recently). There was some thing I needed to do but I wasn’t confident and pretty worried about it. So I asked him whether he could be there (I always trusted him and felt he could back me up. That’s another story). And he was there. He’s so supportive, smart and sharp as usual. I always knew that he’s a charming person. You know, he’s the person you would notice in a group of people talking. However, I never felt so proud and lucky that I was working with him, and never felt so strongly that the intellectual interaction with him was so much fun. That’s the start of my crush. I specifically looked for him and talked to him after that meeting, and realized that I couldn’t look into his eyes. I was blushing and I panicked. I tried to calm down but was still acting a bit awkwardly. Even though, at that point, I still thought I had it under control. But things got different.

    I couldn’t get him out of my mind since then. I google him all the time, looking for his pictures and anything I can find. I desperately want to know more about him. I stare at his pictures on the wall when I’m in the office alone. When meeting with him, I have to force myself behave normally, and make normal eye contact (Otherwise I tend to look away when he’s talking to me, but kind of stare at him when he’s not noticing). I couldn’t help falling into his eyes. Especially I can’t resistant his smiles, those big warm smiles, like sunshine. I know I know, this is so teen. Sometimes I even couldn’t concentrate on what he’s talking about. He’s a total gentleman and there’s absolutely no body contact. The one time he pointed out there’s something on my shirt and his fingers touched my arm for maybe a minisecond, I was freaked out and had to hold myself tight in the seat instead of jumping to the roof. But still I think I acted so weird that he even apologized that he didn’t mean to freak me out…

    And things are getting worse. Everyday I looked forward going to work (which could be a good thing), and wanted to see him for maybe only a second and say Hi. He’s very busy, and I don’t get to see him a lot. My eyes follow him as much and as secretly as possible. I’m also getting obsessed checking if I get any new work emails from him so that I could actually reply to him. This is insane.

    I’m a shy person, sometime or many times socially awkward. Besides, I’ve never been good at handling such kind of feelings. Before my b/f, there’s one boy that I liked for many years, and I was never brave enough to tell him, or smart enough to forget him so that I had heartache again and again when knowing him with other girls over years. And there was one messed up relationship (not a real one) which almost devastated me. Luckily then I met my b/f then. We’ve been through quite some drama, but now we are happy.

    So the bottom line is, I can’t and don’t want to do anything besides moving on. And very importantly, I have to do this fast, since I don’t want him to know I’m a silly person who can’t handle the professional relationship. But the question is how? I try to talk to my b/f more but we are in LD so it’s kind of hard. I can’t talk to any of my friends to get help. I am searching for solutions online everyday but it didn’t help much either. Probably the only good thing is I’m trying to focus more on my work to be a better mentee. I hope I’ll be over this soon, and be successful in work so that maybe one day he could see me as a good colleague.

  177. t

    in january i started texting w a highschool friend who i discovered is my husbands cousin. he lives in nyc now but is down for 1 week. he sent me a message on fb saying that he didnt want to see me because he would end up “in my bed.” i want to see him so badly. he is a dr and a model for crying out loud.

  178. anonymous

    I found this website because I realize I have a crush on someone…and it is so unusual for me.It makes me feel silly and vulnerable because he is at work (new job) and I see him every day. I don’t like feeling like this.I do the silly things- act awkward, clam up and may even be coming across as rude. He was really friendly sort of welcoming when I started so I don’t want it to be weird but I am repeatedly caught off guard by my reaction. Silly me.

  179. Charlie

    I have strong feelings for a Co-Worker who is half my age.I have had these feelings for over 12 months. We work in the same office. We have become good friends but thats it. The trouble is I think of her 24/7. I try and forget about her at weekends, but thats not easy as she lives quite near me and I often see her at the local Mall with her other half. I have been married for nearly 20 years and thought I was happy? I am now so depressed and I have no one I can share this with. I can’t imagine not spending the rest of my life with my wife, yet, if my co-worker showed me any romantic attention to me, I don’t think I could refuse. I think I need therapy!

  180. Wake up!

    What I see here is a lot of attached people acting like they are single and wasting time and energy on their crushes instead of their partners and their relationships. In most cases, your current partner was also a crush, but he or she proved to be much more than that. Show him or her some respect. If your relationship is that bad then leave your partner and go find love, but having these secret crushes is disrepectful to your partner! It makes me sick to see so many supposedly mature people behaving in this way.

  181. Lynn

    To April 10th College professor:
    My crush is a full time doctor on staff at the community college. I keep hearing that even when school is over that it is unethical and will ruin his reputation. I am deeply saddened upon reading these things:)
    How can it be so wrong if is was not visible at all while I was in his classes and my grades were average as they always were?

  182. Anonymous

    I ’m having a crush on my son’s principal. Ever since the first time I layed eyes on her, I’ve been attracted to her. I don’t know if she has the same feeling for me, I think nothing but her all the time. I am not a gay and I cannot get this woman out of my head I sleep with her I wake up with her in my head I just dont know what to do. I’ve never been with another woman before and I think may be she likes me us a good friend but nothing more. Every time I see her I wanted to tell her my feelings for her but can’t say. Don’t know what to do.

  183. Fifi

    I have a crush on one of my co-workers and have been trying to get the courage to express my feelings. I just want to simply state, “I like you.” It has been weeks and I have not mustered up the courage. Many of the signs suggest he likes me too as both he and I have flirted with each other, but I have my doubts. We hang out regularly in a group setting and I was even invited to a bbq he had the other week. He is single so it’s not an inappropriate crush, but I’m stuck in the mindset that if he’s not asking me out, he must not be interested. Am I wrong to think this way? I don’t want to come off as desperate, and yea, I don’t want to get rejected either… 🙂

  184. Confused Capricorn

    I had a crush on one of my classmate…… I confessed it to her on her birthday …. when we were in school ( girls school )…… now after 12yrs after she got married I came to knw that even she had a crush on me…… I don’t have a crush on her now but her confession after so many years disturbs me……

  185. Lost Intern

    MyShe makes a lot of money and is my supervisor, I am an unpaid intern. She is over 30, I am 21. I began falling for her out of admiration and hit my face on the floor when realizing how smart she is and that she is interested in me (obvious by things like bodylanguage). We sent some innuendo emails to each other with the signals. There were a few hours dely in reply, yestruday, when I send some obvious sign that I liked her in one of them. She has not responded to my last one, today, which says clearly that I am interested in staying in contact with her. Tomorrow is my last day of the internship. I think the age difference, life paths, etc. will make the force of prejudice too strong, and we will part tomorrow, that being the end of it. Despite this likely ending, I’m planning on giving her a nice gift, with my business card inside, in case one day she might want to call. I like her. She likes me. Though it is hard to be open in a business setting, espeically with such social no-no’s seperating us. So it is the end.

  186. AnOnymous

    I to have a crush. Whilst grieving for my late partner I made friends with a neighbour ( a widower) who could relate to my grief. He is about 15 yes older. There was a strong friendship but nothing else although people told me they thought we suited each other. One night he said something about wanting to hold me but we agreed to just be friends. I then met someone( he had a girlfriend) and we remained friends. He moved away and we loosely kept in touch. We met for lunch a couple of weeks ago (2 yrs since he moved) and since then he’s been on my mind. Did we miss an opportunity? Should I say something? I sent a casual email but haven’t heard back. I care deeply for my boyfriend but our relationship has been very rocky, I don’t want to hurt him. Am I just kidding myself? Neither of us has children. I am confused.

  187. Anonymous

    there’s a guy in my class. i have a huge secret crush on me. he stares me often. does he too like me?

  188. Anonymous

    I’ve been married for four years I have a baby girl and I can say I am happy, But I cant stop dreaming about an old crush…. he was my friend before I got married we used to talk on the phone and went out a few times. We dont talk anymore but when I see him around town we just say hi to each other. He is super cute… I just want the dreams to stop. Dont know what to do…. I love my husband but its so wierd how much I enjoy my dreams…….

  189. anonymous

    I have a crush. For 10 years I have been lusting over this married man that does work for the business my husband and I own. We are both married with 2 kids each. For 10 years I thought he felt the same way. I was SURE he did! How could I fall so hard for someone who didn’t feel the same way? Well, I got up my muster and last week finally told him. And guess what?! He ‘does not have the strong feelings that I do’. ArHGHGHG! I am now CRUSHED! Embarassed, and worried about my marriage, which I do want to stay in tact. I am worried that he will tell someone, tell his wife, the people he works with…..I am totally flabbergasted. I have cancelled all work with him, the work where I would be seeing him daily, and I told him I would not be texting, emailing or phoning. He said fine, its going to be harder for me than for him….My intention was just to tell him so I could move on, but I really did expect him to say, I have feelings for you too. I feel gutted and empty. And, now that I have to ‘move on’, as I come home to my husband, I’m not sure what I have to ‘move on’ too. My crush, made everything rosy, and without it, it all seems so bleak. So, there it is, a sad crush story.

  190. SSalabama

    I Have a huge crush on my husbands friend/co-worker! I have been with my hubby off and on since 2000 and married since 2008. Things went well for a while then he sstarted lying to me about money and lots of things.. I had gained alot of weight with our child and never even thought someone could be interested in me again. Well I lost weight, the more I lost and longer we are married the worse Its gotten. I found out some unforgivable things he had done and went to his work to leave a note on his car… crying and a mess I am driving away & I see his co worker leave & he ask me whats wrong. I tell him and he tells me that he does alot behind my back but I didnt ask out of respect not to put him in the middle..
    I normally see him every friday and look very much forward to it! He just recently got a facebook and I have to admit I stalk his profile, lol.. To make matters worse my hubby knows there is something there, as I always call him my boyfriend. Hubby always tells me, that he is the perfect guy for me, as we both like the same things. He always jokes with my hubby when he leaves work early that he is coming to visit me… He is tall, thin, use to be a bad boy but really has his stuff together. He just broke up with his girlfriend 4 months ago, the only thing is he has 2 kids… To top it all off we have the same birthday!
    The last time I got to see him, I pulled up to gas station and was getting gas, he pulls up and comes over to talk to me. He was flirty, and I dropped hints that my hubby knows I have a crush on him…
    Me and my hubby are at the end of the ropes, he lives with his mom but is very good to me in the way he pays all the bills for me and my lil one. But he lies constantly & I cant believe him.. He has stolen things, sold his wedding ring and gotten loans behind my back to name a few. I really would like to talk to my crush, to pick him for info a bit, but to feel that feeling like a teenager again! Not too sure where I would like it to end up, but I know a few places!!! I cant wait to see him on friday! Yummy!

  191. Anonoymous

    I have this huge crush on a music director at a high school. I have had a crush for a year now and I am trying to shake it off because I am happily married and have been for 3 and half years now. I feel guilty for having this crazy crush. I would never hurt my wonderful husband.

  192. Anonymous

    I have a crush on my neighbor, from the moment I saw him washing his car in the driveway. We’re both married, he is 15 years older than me but hot-as-f*ck. Every time I see him my heart races and I wish he would take the interest one step further and I’d be all over him in an instant. My fantasy for sure!

  193. anonymous

    I’m crushing on a guy who is eight years younger, left his girlfriend and baby to run off with a co-worker, full of tats (which I don’t find attractive, but I overlook it in this case, a bad boy who loves his gangsta rap, and is totally wrong for me. But I love his eyes, his accent, his vulnerable side. It’s awful feeling this way. He is definitely not my type and I really should stay far, far away from him and stop cyberstalking his facebook page.

  194. Anonymous

    I have a ginormous crush on my married boss. He is everything I’ve always envisioned my dream man to be. Tall, dark, and devastatingly handsome. His humour kills me, and just the sound of his laugh makes me feel good inside. The moment I opened the door to this office for the first time for my interview, I was smitten. He was the first person I saw when I opened that door. I can remember the moment like a photograph, lol. I know I’m sounding pretty melodramatic here, but I’m head over heels in lust with this dude. He is only 2 years older than me, but like I said, MARRIED! 🙁

    I’m not sure if he knows or not because I try to do things to make him know in the event I could get lucky and something could blossom between us physically. He also seems to be doing things to entice me, like unbuttoning his shirt more and more. That could just be my imagination though.

    What I DO know is he’s friggen gorgeous, and I would do anything just to even kiss him. UGH. I hate feeling this way. I feel better getting it out, if even on an anonymous forum. I can’t risk my job which I like very much for a stupid crush (unless its reciprocated lol)

  195. Anonymous

    As I sit here working my night shift, I’m daydreaming about my boss coming into work early and promptly grabbing me, throwing me the hardwood floor, and…..well, you know. Just in time to have a smoke and relax before our co-workers arrive 🙂

    Ahhh, only in dreams *sigh*.

  196. Anonymous

    I (female) have had a (male) intern working for me this summer, and he is amazing–brilliant, incredibly good looking, great sense of humor, kind, very funny and very flirtatious. It has completely unnerved me and made me realize how unsatisfied I am with some aspects of my married with children life. After several months of obsession and angst, I have finally kicked the crush. I only wish I had known earlier what the trick is. Drumroll please: the antidote to an all-consuming crush? Great sex…with my husband. Poof! Crush has gone away. Now he’s just a cute 21 year old kid again.

  197. Tink

    Today was my second day of school at my new high school I just moved to and I thought it was going to be just plain aweful but then came this guy!I was sitting in the hall alone because I dont really know anyone at all,and then he walks up to me and starts talking to me! I was just so happy he took time from what he was doing just to talk to me or even notice me! I met him in my new band class he showed me some tips on guitair and he was just perfect I couldent keep my eyes off him! He was funny,kind,and i just loved his brown hair and his eyes. Im not trying to make it love at first sight but for me it is I mean Im going to try to be friends with him and see if hes a guy id like to be with but still I havent had a crush this huge ever!

  198. Shazza

    Oh my word! I have the most amazing crush on my daughter’s school principal! He’s so cute and I’ve even looked him up on facebook. He’s single as far as I can see and has a son in my daughter’s class!! He has the most dreamy blue eyes and quiet voice- he’s Polish- and very handsome. I’m seperated for 15months from my husband. I keep going into the school and he seems to keep popping up whenever I’m there. Is that a sign? I’ve just missed the chance to go on a school camp with him- and others-grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr- for 3 days. My daughter, bless her heart, announced in front of the whole class- that her mom thinks Mr….. is sexy!!!!!
    How do I get noticed?? He’s always friendly and I’m so dumbstruck I forget to smile back……like a teenager again……oh bother….since I can’t have great sex with someone else, have to get this man out of my head somehow, find myself driving by the school and turning my head to see if I can see him…….crazy but very exhilarating. He’s a very nice male specimen.

  199. Anonymouse

    For the past two and a half years I have had more than a crush on a man that works at the same employer as me. He is everything I think I want, yet he has faults that should annoy me, yet I cannot find the strength to dislike him for them. He always knows what to say to make me feel like I am special, but he never does anything to show me that is how he truly feels. I know he does not feel the same way about me as I do him, but something inside me keeps thinking that some day he will realive how much he cares about me and he will finally say something. He will finally tell me. It hurts to live like this. It hurts to silently love someone and never get anything in return. It hurts to hear his kind words when you know they are not sincere. It hurts to see him laughing and smiling with his friends, when you are dying inside. I wish, I truly wish that he would just tell me what he really feels about me. I truly wish he would just ackowledge my feelings and tell me he doesn’t feel the same. I wish he would tell me to move on so I could. I don’t want to hurt anymore. I don’t want to feel dead insdie. I want to be loved, I want to love and I want to be happy.

  200. Anonymous

    im not gay but for 3 years ive been fightin that crush that ive on my friend and im tryin so hard to understand and deal with this huge problem of mine as i dont think its right to accept lovin this friend besides id ruin his life if i told him that even if i wanted him to help me takin over again so im so confused

  201. Anonymous

    yes of course i love many hot people in my grade their cute sweet and i get that bubbly felling when i talk to them but they dont like me!
    They like someone else and that makes me fel heart broken………..
    Although i like this sweet guy and i think he like me i hope 🙂
    wish me luck because i gonna ask him…….. tell him how i feel 🙂
    luv u all lots …………good luck with ur crushers !

  202. Anonymous

    Wow, so happy to see I’m not the only one! I’ve been married for 8 years and have 3 kids. I have been in a rut with my husband for awhile now. He’s a good man, but not very attentive and he has a bad temper. I started this job about 3 years ago and was instantly attracted to a co-worker. He’s a lot older than me and he’s married. He’s not even my usual type! We talked a lot and flirted and then a couple months ago we both confessed to these feelings we had for each other. We both decided we could not act on these feelings we had but continued to talk about things we wanted to do. Now all of a sudden he has completely changed. He won’t tell me what happened. He doesn’t come into my office to see me anymore and he only answers my text if it has something to do with work. I know I should get over it and let him go, but I don’t understand what happened. How can you have feelings for someone for over 2 years and then just have everything change overnight?! I just wish he would let me know what happened. I can’t get him off my mind. I try not no talk to him but I just keep texting him or trying to find reasons to walk by his office. I think i’m turning into a stalker!

  203. Anonymous

    I have 3 crushes. One on this guy that works at this store, I come in there often, always looking like crap ’cause it’s at the end of the day and I’ve been sitting in class for hours but for some reason he always makes me jittery with butterflies, he even noticed and complimented me when I got my hair cut and dyed, like 1 inch off of long hair and not even a different color; I went in there today and he was all serious and as soon as we saw eachother his eyes lit up and he was smiling…I’m very level headed and don’t “imagine” things, I just noticed that everything about his demeanor changed when we saw eachother today – interesting.
    I have another crush on a long time friend, he’s the nicest and kindest guy I’ve ever met, really cares about people, and was my ex’s friend (they’re not friends anymore), I’ve had many chances to see where things might go with him but I’m always too worried that it would ruin a friendship. I know he wants to get together with me but I just think he deserves a girl who wants to settle down and get married…and I’m not her.
    And last but definitely not least, the guy that I had a fling with in May & June, wow – that was hot. I had to cut it off because neither him nor I wanted anything remotely close to a relationship and I knew that I wanted to hang around him more than what our original agreement was. So yeah, that’s it. Glad I got that out lol.
    Oh wait, there is one more. One of my prof’s, that’s just a tiny little crush though, nothing I think about day after day – just when I see him. He’s pretty good looking and extremely smart…and married so that’s probably why I’m not as into him, married ppl are off limits!
    K, before I take away all doubt in people’s minds that I’m some sort of slut, I’ll stop here lol.

  204. Dream a little dream

    I have a crush on a co-worker, its only been a recent thing. It’s always so hard when you have a crush to know whether the person is aware or not. But I think it is the thrill of the unknown what excites you. He’s definitely my type, nerdy cute and self assured. Nothing will happen as I believe we are both married.

    I agree with many people on here as to feeling a bit guilty, but I think it is the fact that your partner might be a good person but you aren’t receiving the attention you would like. Or the romance.

    I think crushes are healthy as long as you are honest with yourself about it, and don’t get caught up in romantic dreams – your life could become a nightmare.

    But its nice being able to confess, as in no way could I tell a friend.

  205. TheCrusher

    I just recently realized my boss likes me. I thought I imagined things one day when he practically ran down the hall to make idle chit chat with me. But I have noticed several other little things since, walking past an area I am in a couple times before finally stopping to say something totally non important, stopping to make more small talk when obviously rushing to a meeting. Now I am crushing big time. Since my crush has started we have emailed just a couple of times and he said once that I brighten his day, and another time he said if I ever have to get out and catch my escaped horse in my pj’s again, to let him know when I am out. I made no replies to those comments he made cause I don’t want to encourage anything worse. I have respect for him and I feel he respects me.
    LOL So juvenile right? I’m 37 years old, been married for over 12 years now. Crush is 18 years older than me and been married 27 years.
    This one is hard, I have never crushed this bad before. I didn’t even feel this way about my husband when I met him. But my husband is wonderful. I wouldn’t even be in the career I have today without the emotional support he gave me when I had issues with my last job.
    With that said, I am very thankful that my crush and I most likely will never be in a situation to act on anything. I will most likely never even let him know I am crushing. I do feel there is one co-worker that suspects something and I hope they don’t think the worst is going on.

  206. Anonymous

    I have a crush on my personal banker. He is everything that I would love to have in a friend, lover and so on. He is smart and handsome. He is sweet and charming. He is soft spoken and looks into my eyes when ever he talks. I get the feeling he could protect me from anyone and everything and I would love to let him protect me as well. One problem!!!! He has a live in GF and a kid. I am not into the role of home wrecker, nor would I ever want to be the other woman.He has stated that he is interested and is still nice, but I think it is because I bank with him. Either way… my crush must come to an end he is taken and my heart is broken. However, I am a good girl gone bad and I am waiting for the right time to make my move.Its one temptation I want to give into for just one sweet, passionate, lustful night. ummmmmm!

  207. Anonymous

    DEAR M

    I had a crush on you when I first saw you. I remember when you first met me. You looked down on me. You were “scared” of any advances I would make on you. It was like I was not good enough. After I realized that I could not have you I decided to date your best friend. Not to get back at you, but because I was tried of being rejected. From day one he has never rejected me once. Now I’m in love with your best friend. He is the most amazing men I have ever met. I know I lucked out because of how well he treats me. We f*** like rabbits even after being together for so long. The orgasms are out of this world! I don’t think you thought that we were going to last very long. We do have our own problems, but I know they can be worked out because we love each other enough to try for one another. This is the last time I am ever going to address this issue. The woman you are with now is beautiful, smart and shes going to make you really happy in this life. But let me tell you this one thing. She will never be me. You will not be waking up next to me. You will not be the father of my children. You will not give me the best sex I’ve ever had. When I smile it will be because of the beautiful man standing not only in front of me, but behind me waiting to catch me as I fall and cheer me on. I’m a stronger person now that I have had him in my life. Its better than you could ever do. You lost out on a great thing, and that’s me baby. I lucked out with the best guy in the world!!

  208. Anonymous

    I am married but our marriage is going through a lot of challenges right now… Im having a crush on my collegue. He is 10 years younger than me. I find him cute and with strong personality. I like him a lot and i feel so shy everytime i see him. And i think he noticed it many times already. Im not sure if he got a feeling for me as well but it doesnt matter ciz im feel embarrased to think that he is so young to be my crush. But its just a crush anyway! what a relief to finally let my feelings out :))

  209. Anonymous

    yes, i have a crush on my husbands boss. he is 9 years my senior and 5 years senior to my husband. i think he does not know that i love him. i have tried talking to him via skype( using another name) just to get him talking to me but he did not realise it was me till we stopped corresponding. one day i dialled his number and let it flash and cut it ) GOT HIS NUMBER FROM MY HUSBABDS PHONE). when he called back, i pretended it was a mistake and that i wanted to talk to someone nothim. what i wanted was that he should have my number in his phone. on the same day, there was a flash on my phone on a private number but i never talked to the caller. i really wish it was him but i can not ask. my husband did not ask me anything about it and i take it that he (the boss) did not tell him of my “mistake”. This gives me confidence. i really want him but i can not just tell him and it is killing me. he is married and has 3 children the eldest is about 15. i have 1 child who is 3. i really do not care whether it will be like just having sex with him, even if it means just once. once a week i go to his workplace to take my husband and i feel bad if i do not see him. what can i do to have his attention without really showing that i have gone crazy for him?

  210. Unknown

    Recently I realized that I have a bit of a crush on a different guy. I’m married though feel slightly trapped. He Is an awesome guy who I don’t deserve my husband that is….the whole thing just makes me sad. The neighbor dosen’t know how I feel thankfully, And I think my husband picks up that something is wrong….. But I can’t tell him that he feels more like a good friend than a husband…..

  211. Anonymous

    I have a such a crush on a guy I work with. I never thought that I’d like him, in fact when I first started working there I actually hated him. I thought he was such an arrogant jerk. He wasn’t my type at all either; I always figured that the guy I would fall in love with would be somebody ambitious and maybe someone that goes to the same college as me. This guy doesn’t go to college, has no real career ambitions and seems happy to just go with the flow of things.

    In the last year or so though my feelings for him have changed completely. He truly is the sweetest, most caring guy I know. He always makes me laugh and if I ever need a hand I know I can depend on him. Words can’t say how much I respect and care about him. I’m too afraid to let him know how I feel though, I don’t want to ruin the closeness we share and I can only imagine the hurt I’d feel if he didn’t reciprocate my feelings. I really wish I could though – it’s like my feelings for him are consuming me. I feel like I’m cheating on him by flirting with other guys! It’s crazy. Recently I got asked out by a guy in one of my classes who I had previously had a crush on. He’s exactly the type of a guy I’d go for, but all I could think about was my crush and I couldn’t bring myself to date another guy! I just wish that I could tell whether or not he felt the same way about me…

  212. Anonymous

    I have a raging crush on my BOSS. I am happily married to my husband of 12 years. I have two sons. I have never had this happen before. I have always been loyal. I know my husband loves me, but he never says so. He never kisses me. We have sex about once a week.

    So suddenly, I’ve found myself HOT-HOT-HOT for the Boss Man – who is the principal in the school where I work. I am ridiculous. I am obsessing about him all the time. He’s actually probably not as attractive as my husband, but he’s just so Authoritative, Decisive, Caring, and Cute. I love, love, love him in a big ol’ puppy love way. He is also married. I sometimes think he has a crush on me too, but I don’t know for sure.

    I keep having this fantasy where he asks if I have a crush on him, and I say “yes”. Then he says, “What are we going to do about that?” Then I say, “Go make-out in the copy room and get it out of our systems.” I really do want to do that. I’m scared that I’ll make it happen. I am a acting like a teenager.

    I had gotten to a point where I wasn’t even all that interested in sex anymore, and now I want to jump my boss. I want to be his favorite. I want him to want me. This crush is making me such a good employee because I am working so hard to earn his praise and try to please him. I am thrilled when he emails me about meetings. I try to think of reasons to go to his office. I work late, just to make him happy. Weekends used to be my favorite, and now I count the days until I can see him again. He won’t be at work on Monday, and I’m already sad about that. The only good thing about it is that I won’t have to get up extra early to look super cute, since he won’t be there anyway. I’ve never had this big of a crush.

    We were at a workshop with a bunch of teachers today (Friday), and I had built up a fantasy where we would all go out to happy hour at the end of the day, he would buy me a drink, and we’d make out in the restroom of a bar. No, it didn’t happen – but because I am Crush Crazy, I was actually SAD all the way home.

    What will come of this? Does he like me too? (I think maybe he does.) Is he fighting it? (I think maybe he is.) Am I fighting it? No. I know I should be, but I am ridiculous. I feel pretty, and desirable, and adorable, and all the things that my husband doesn’t make me feel.

    Boss Crush.

  213. The Crusher

    He told me he could talk to me all morning if we weren’t busy with work. He was the one to stop me in the hall to talk. 🙂 then emailed to say I looked fantastic! This is the best crush I have ever had. I don’t have to guess if he likes me back.

  214. Anonymous

    Crushes especially if you don’t do anything about them are healthy and normal. Apart from numerous male celebs I have the biggest crush on my next door neighbour for years. Not really as healthy if he doesn’t seem to feel the same. He’s nearly 27 years older but looks really attractive for his age, successful, intelligent and good with animals and his disabled kids. My life has changed as I now have kids of my own but will still be infatuated@-}–

  215. anonymous

    I have been in love with my older next door neighbour since I was a lot younger. I sometimes wait to hear him out side before I put rubbish out. Sad I know. He’s really beautiful both inside and out but unfortunately as well as having a bf and kids i’m. too young for him. Despite all this my crush will never go and i’ve tried to think things to put me off him but failed

  216. Pingback: Cinema click here

  217. TheCrusher

    Well I hope no one minds if I use this place as a sounding board. My bff is in an insecure and emotional state at the moment, so I don’t want to put this on her. All my other acquaintences know who my crush is and I can’t talk to them. He keeps emailing me and getting bolder with what he is willing to say in person and the emails. I wish he would cut it out with the emails though, it’s work email. But I don’t think it’s a good idea to give him my personal email either, I like to think that the work email keeps him tame.
    I love the rush this all gives me, so I hate to totally squash this now. I do not respond to his bold comments, just the things we would normally chat about anyway. He told me about a business trip he is about to take and mentioned that he will have to take me on one sometime. I know well that this will never happen. I am not high enough in the ranks at work for that to be explainable. We sometimes go weeks at a time without seeing eachother at work, so after the rush of some of his comments yesterday I think I am ready for one of these little breaks.
    Yup never been in this situation before.

  218. Anonymous

    Huge huge crush on this guy a year younger than me. I have a boyfriend, but when I see this guy or talk to him I get butterflies and I miss that feeling. Being with my guy is boring and it doesn’t even seem like he’s into me anymore. This guy I have a crush on has a girlfriend too.. So I don’t know what to do! But can’t wait to talk to him again!

  219. Me

    I met my husband(let’s call him J) four years ago but every summer i moved away to another state(Christmas too). Three years ago before my marriage i had a summer love for like two weeks and after two weeks guy named E(summer love) changed all of a sudden. He was all in love, holding my hand wanting to be seen with me and all. But then i talked to much about J and that i am not over him. Which is true my then boyfriend and my now hubby is very handsome, masculine and compatible to me. While i was confused between the two back then, E knowing that all my heart wasn’t with him he suddenly stopped answering my phone and all(i think he found a woman that went gaga for his pretty face). Honestly i liked his face nothing at all. But when he kinda dumped me after two weeks i couldn’t help but wonder why so and every time i open his Facebook or remember him, for some reason my heart beats and i feel warm like i love him or it could be just because he is the only guy to ever have dumped me. After two years of my marriage with my hubby and a happy one i still sometimes think of him and assume may be if i wasn’t in a different state as he was it could have worked as he was head over heals for me(but i think he was also intimidated too). Few months ago i congratulated him and since he recently graduated and he said the next timed i come to DC to call him. Well i have been to DC at least twice but never contacted him as i was married and i love my hubby. But the next time i go i will call him just to see if he regrets it and i want to set the record straight and be the one to dump him(hence no dumping history in my dating or relationship lives. Yes i think the only reason he dumped me is intimidation, i talk to much about my ex, we live in different states and he found a chick that is comparable to me and kinda not intimidating to him. I still would have wanted J(my hubby) over him but every time i think of him i have feelings(warm and wanting to hear him and see him fall for me once again)

  220. Anonymous

    i have crush on my boss and i don’t know if that is possible because my religion doesn’t allow to marry a man who is not muslim. i think he also has crush on me, he always come area that i am working and he interest talking to me. he is cute and gentle… i don’t know what to say we know that we interest each other.

  221. Anonymous

    I have had an incredible “crush” on my ex wife’s 40 year old niece since she was 18. I think about her constantly and have never desired a woman as much and for so long. I too am so afraid of rejection and of causing what would probably be a tremendous amount of familial consternation and hurt feelings.

  222. L

    Hi everyone and May 7th. I have a serious crush almost obsessive really on my professor, which has been for over the past year and the next 6 months. We ended up talking online because we both belong to the same dating site. This was after he had been my professor for almost a year. We didn’t have pictures and didn’t exchange names online. Strange I know. I had a slight crush on him which was exacerbated as we continued talking online. We have so much in common and common interests. It hurts that some people including him may still feel it is unethical even after graduation. When he talks to me, he seems shy and friendly. I am what many would call a “white Kim Kardashian”. He complimented me on features I told him about myself online, which means that he would go out with me if he could. I just don’t understand how it could be so bad even after graduation if we were friends. I am head over heels. He is 26 yrs older than me. I am 28. I can’t get him out of my mind. I am not sick. I really want to hug him. My crush is not just lust, although he is attractive, extremely smart, not married, and no kids. What should I do?
    ” lol.

  223. The Crusher

    I have had my break and have not really seen my crush for a couple of weeks now. But I can’t stop thinking about him. We had a pretty heated conversation about a serial cheater at work. I think it got heated cause the known cheater recently got caught in acts at work with someone, and he frequently talks to me and I think my crush was sort of concerned that the cheater got to me. I let him know I have always been careful around the other guy cause he’s always had a creepy vibe. Then my crush questioned whether he himself gave off a creepy vibe. This was a real good opening to say what I felt but I didn’t. I just told him not to compare. He’s been careful with what he says since then. So everything happens for a reason, maybe this cheater getting caught at work is what I needed to calm my crushes comments down.

  224. The Crusher

    Well think my crush is cooling off. He has seriously been avoiding me which tells me he has decided to calm down a bit himself. I can respect that and expected it with the other things going on at work. Don’t like that it was short lived though. 😉 Now there are other men at work that constantly compliment me, but those are the ones I want avoiding me!!
    Happy crushing<3

  225. Stupid Crusher

    i’ve known my married co-worker for about 1.5 years but have never had a crush on her. Only in the last 3 months, i didn’t know exactly what happened but I began to fall for her.. She’s a few yrs older than me. it was a lil crush at first but now it gets to the point where sometimes I don’t have an appetite. I’ve never had strong feelings for someone before (other than my first love which was about 10 yrs ago).. I’m naturally amusing, funny, & teasing and this has driven most of my female co-workers to envy me.. But i only set my eyes on a married co-worker. She likes my company and I can feel it from her reactions.. She’s married with 1 kid and I’ve never met her husband.
    I’m at times very upset & frustrated with myself.. I pray everyday for this crush to go away ’cause adultery is a deadly sin.. I’d never reveal my true feelings to her unless she’s divorced.. I hate my life and loneliness is a disease. I’m happy for her but sometimes I imagine what life would be like if I could spark her life with excitement & adventure. She’s reserved, rational, & cautious so i know she’d never be reckless by revealing her true feelings to me.. at times I feel that I could be a better lover by giving her the excitement that her husband could not deliver.. but i’m holding back my feelings always. I’m a religious guy and there’s a line that I will not cross. I continue to pray everyday to the Lord & Virgin Mary to make this crush go away soon. It can be depressed sometimes. I lied to her by saying that “I adore & care for you like a big sister”. But at least i had it off my chest. May the Lord forgive me of my dirty desires.

  226. The Crusher

    🙂 he isn’t totally avoiding me. When I wear the right things he definitely will still stop to speak. When I wear black(not even revealing) he has to stop and speak. But no emails in weeks. Still crushing , just less intense. Thank goodness work has been too busy to daydream too.

  227. Guest

    To Lynn, and all the other ladies who are expressing feelings for college professors,
    Don’t put your life on hold for them.
    Someone suggested that you wait until your last course with the professor is done, and then you ask the professor out by esnding him “a hot note”.
    But first, remember that someone else may see that note. You will be embarassed if they do.
    Second, what if, when you get around to asking him out, he has met someone else? For all you know, he may be with someone else, in a serious relationship? Or he may be seeing several women.
    Please do not let this torch you are holding for this man put your romantic life on hold.
    Please also know that some men in this position of power – or any position of power – use it as an ego boost. They are used to women hitting on them. The fact that they are serving as your mentors/teachers can add to the appeal they have. Would you still find him attractive if he was a street cleaner?
    Whatever you do, ladies, please observe this man’s character. Please watch him – how does he behave with the other women of the class? Is he touchy-feely? Does he behave inappropriately? Is there talk that he crosses inappropriate boundaries with students?
    Watch his character… because, if you do ask him out and he says yes, and if you do wind up having a relationship with him, it’s the quality of his character that you will benefit – or suffer from.
    Good luck to us all.

  228. anonymous

    I have a crush on a guy I have just met once in a professional setting our industries are related. He later asked me for a biz card, I didn’t have one. That was it. The crush was triggered (I believe) because I totally avoided to see him (I am married) the few days he was in town (he lives across the pond).

    It’s been one year and still thinking of him.

  229. Anonymous

    It all started 9 or 10 years ago when I finished university. I had been going out with the perfect boyfriend for 5 years when I met this guy on the internet (classic…) My former boyfriend back then seemed perfect: tall, handsome, funny, the perfect gentleman but he just couldn’t give me what I wanted. My online chatterbox on the contrary was rude, hilarious, witty, short… But I had so much fun with him. We’d talk for hours every night. we both lived very far away so every now and then I came up with a excuse to visit his city. However, after 4 or 5 years I don’t know I guess I got tired of going nowhere so I decided to commit myself entirely to my boyfriend, after all those years had to count for something. I stopped my online relationship abruptly (I know I hurt him a lot but so did he) and went to live with perfect man to no avail. He broke up with me a year later.

    I never contacted my online friend again and I started going out with my present boyfriend. We’ve been together for almost 5 years now and I can’t say I have been entirely happy (in fact who can?) but we’ve had our great moments. And just when I heve settled down, living together and sharing a life (no kids, yet) I don’t know why I contacted this guy again 3 days ago. And he answers me in just about seconds. But we haven’t chatted just some texting and emailing. The thing is that there’s nothing and I don’t think there’ll ever be anything, he still lives far away, but a couple of emails have been enough to realize how much I’ve missed him. What’s wrong with me? It’s not like I’m a child anymore… I’m so messed up

  230. Anonymous

    So im a a student at an adult school im 23 and i have a crush on my teacher who is 39,i don’t know what to do, not sure if he has the same attraction to me but we text sometimes and on are last text he said”he was going to act on it”how should. I take confused and i don’t want to act on nething for the fact that i don’t wont him to jeopardize his career and my feelings.

  231. Anonymous

    I have a crush on a man i see sometimes once a week. I am married. It started out as me wanting to get him to drool over me and fantasize about me. Well it backfired on me. He is not really even my type. Part of me thinks he is playing a game and giving me some mixed signals which I have thought is fun. Although this could all be in my head. What i set out to do to him, he has done to me somehow.

  232. anonymous

    yes I do and he feels mutual but we have never acted on it as I am married to some one else. I am currently working on a way to leave my marriage as I am very unhappy and my husband is abusive. I hope that when I do this man will be in my life as he makes me happy and we have a connection.

  233. Neighbor Crush...ugh!

    So I’ve lived in this place with my husband and 2 kids since March of 2010. I actually had #2 in June, anywho since 2012 has began, I can’t stop fantasizing about my neighbor. He’s a nice enough guy, but my husband is way hotter, and we’ve got 6 years together. Shhh! Feels good to finally tell someone! Now maybe it’ll go away!

  234. Anon

    Ergggghhh… I am married & have 3 of the most
    beautiful children you could imagine, I love them
    to bits. My husband and I have been together for 9 and
    a half years, 6 months before we started our
    relationship I had a very brief encounter with
    a coworker at a staff party at the very end of the night,
    I had wanted it to happen, I was 23 at the time
    and he was 30 he had been burnt by his cheating
    wife and was hesitant about starting a relationship,
    there was alot of flirting & texting one another in the middle
    of the night, I had very strong feelings for him but felt it
    wasn’t progressing into anything, I have always held those feelings
    for him, he is a kind, sensitive and caring man with a
    vigour for life, I have a lot of respect for him and have harboured
    guilt because my feelings have never changed,
    he is a friend of my now husband, we married and lived away
    from our home town, my crush kept friendly contact with me,
    never overstepping any lines, he was seeing a good friend of mine for a
    couple of years and I was incredibly jeolous, obviously
    I hid my envy from everyone. When the broke up I was secretly happy
    about it, I invited him to my 30th birthday & he came, we spent most
    of the night making eye connections & his gaze was piercing, my husband
    went home early due to a hangover from his own fun with cousins on a footy
    trip, that night my crush walked me home from the local night club, he had been taking
    my hand and leading to an upstairs level of the club when a mutual friend saw us,
    he didnt notice the hands, the club was packed and dark,
    eventually we left and it was such a busy night the wait for public transport
    was hours, so we walked, he held on to my hand and pulled me close to him, I gently pulled
    myself away but inside I was screaming YES, Everything
    inside me wanted it to happen but it couldnt, I thought of my
    daughter and what would I tell her in years to come,
    I just couldnt do it, now we have moved back home and I see him alot,
    my husband plays football with him and he knows about my crush
    and what happened that night.

    Whenever we see each other there is a look that I cannot
    explain, it is deep & raw and understanding, knowing that
    nothing can happen and how much we both want it to happen.
    We keep contact via facebook, everything is innocent and friendly.

    This has been driving me nuts for 10 years, he has a partner, she is
    a kind and caring woman, she is his age and maturity, she is intelligent
    and they suit each other well.

    I have never had an outlet for these emotions, I cannot
    share my thoughts, I have intense guilt attached to the feelings.
    It is sad but if I can have him a part of my life as only
    a friend then at least there is that.

    So glad I found this forum to unleash amd vent, I will very likely be back.

  235. Anon

    OMG- crush dropped a gift at my front door… It’s a gift for the
    entire family, he makes so much effort with my kids..
    One time when he called me I felt physically ill, I was so
    excited my stomach was bouncing all over the place, it must have been
    confused & mistook the crazy feelings I was having for sickness…
    Maybe thats where the term love sick comes from…
    I have NEVER felt this way about anyone & it continues, for 10 years I have thought
    about him everyday, some more than others…
    I dont know if I even want to crush this crush, he excites me like nobody could.
    I think I’m in love.

  236. TheCrusher

    He has stopped by to speak everyday for two weeks. Once he comes by I can’t quit smiling for the rest of the day! I really like the days when it seems like he just doesn’t want to quit talking to me and he starts emailing. I wonder what it would be like if we had eachothers cell numbers. We definitely don’t need to go there though.

  237. Anonymous

    I have a huge huge crush on my old boss. I absolutely love and adore him. Hes 26 years older than me though, and married with 3 kids. When hes not around work i feel down and unmotivated as he always brightens my day when i see him. Hes just one of those people who makes you happy the minute you see them. Sometimes i wonder whether he feels the same even slightly as he always touches my shoulders and seems genuinely happy to see me too. My job is really rubbish but i feel like i cant leave because of him, its killing me that i cant act on anything. I think about him constantly, I even go into work on days off in the hope of seeing him. I wish something would happen, more than anything!

  238. Anonymous

    I’m falling for a guy 12yrs younger, while currently in a committed 10yr relationship. The younger guy is also really into me and wants me to break it off with my bf. But I only want to have an affair with him for a while. Sucks. I don’t want him to wait for me.

  239. Anonymous

    I have been crushing on the same guy for almost 3 yrs. now! Unfortunately the timing was really bad for when it had to start. I have been in this relationship for nearly 6 yrs. now and we have a daughter. I know it sounds wrong but let me explain how it happened. My other half and I (we still are not married) would constantly fight (and I think he’s had a crush of his own for even longer than I had mine), about this certain girl that’s had feelings about him for quite some time and he doesn’t seem to be disgusted about it or can’t even stand up and tell her he’s not interested yet she’s always trying to come around us, make him jealous etc. I was interested and puppy dog eyes In love with HIM for a good three of those years, and only HIM!. But when this situation with the girl kept happening I kind of got to the point where I asked myself “is this guy really supposed to be mine”.

    Well, I was in a really weird mood one day and (I’m weird by the way you’ll see why) and I decided to try and make myself laugh at the same time I was attempting to make others laugh. I went to the store and bought these weird coke bottle gag glasses that were simply ridiculous lol. I put them on and when we went into stores and stuff and even just while my other half was driving I got shocked looks, laughs, and it just boosted my mood. I think it was also a big thing for me, as I’d always been insecure and thought that maybe if I purposely embarrass myself it would help or something.

    Anyways, there was this one store where we would go, where this checker just stood out to me like a sore thumb and for reasons I still can’t figure out to this day. He reminded me soooo much of myself in a way, he didn’t like to look people in the eyes for too long (I could tell it weirded me out, and don’t ask why but I’ve been the same way). He was soooo serious and I was always wondering what could have caused that when everyone else was so you know, people persons (again unlike me). Well, i dared myself to go in there and put the glasses on and go through his line. I didn’t think he even noticed but when my other half said he started laughing when we left it just made my day. Next thing I know, he’s got a job at a different store… he’s talking, joking with people, laughing smiling, a little more people-ish. I always wondered if I helped get him there in sort of a way.

    But there’s more… he always knew when I came in. He would shyly wave, smile, look at my hair, if I changed anything about myself he would always notice. He noticed when I was tired. When I looked sad he always tried to make me laugh. To this day when we go to the store and happen to pass where he works, from time to time he’ll be in the window looking out at me, or outside where I can see him….

    At this point… I just don’t know… Maybe I should have forgotten him a long time ago… But something makes me feel like I shouldn’t.

  240. Anon

    I have been crushing on the same guy for almost 3 yrs. now! Unfortunately the timing was really bad for when it had to start. I have been in this relationship for nearly 6 yrs. now and we have a daughter. I know it sounds wrong but let me explain how it happened. My other half and I (we still are not married) would constantly fight (and I think he’s had a crush of his own for even longer than I had mine), about this certain girl that’s had feelings about him for quite some time and he doesn’t seem to be disgusted about it or can’t even stand up and tell her he’s not interested yet she’s always trying to come around us, make him jealous etc. I was interested and puppy dog eyes In love with HIM for a good three of those years, and only HIM!. But when this situation with the girl kept happening I kind of got to the point where I asked myself “is this guy really supposed to be mine”.

    Well, I was in a really weird mood one day and (I’m weird by the way you’ll see why) and I decided to try and make myself laugh at the same time I was attempting to make others laugh. I went to the store and bought these weird coke bottle gag glasses that were simply ridiculous lol. I put them on and when we went into stores and stuff and even just while my other half was driving I got shocked looks, laughs, and it just boosted my mood. I think it was also a big thing for me, as I’d always been insecure and thought that maybe if I purposely embarrass myself it would help or something.

    Anyways, there was this one store where we would go, where this checker just stood out to me like a sore thumb and for reasons I still can’t figure out to this day. He reminded me soooo much of myself in a way, he didn’t like to look people in the eyes for too long (I could tell it weirded me out, and don’t ask why but I’ve been the same way). He was soooo serious and I was always wondering what could have caused that when everyone else was so you know, people persons (again unlike me). Well, i dared myself to go in there and put the glasses on and go through his line. I didn’t think he even noticed but when my other half said he started laughing when we left it just made my day. Next thing I know, he’s got a job at a different store… he’s talking, joking with people, laughing smiling, a little more people-ish. I always wondered if I helped get him there in sort of a way.

    But there’s more… he always knew when I came in. He would shyly wave, smile, look at my hair, if I changed anything about myself he would always notice. He noticed when I was tired. When I looked sad he always tried to make me laugh. To this day when we go to the store and happen to pass where he works, from time to time he’ll be in the window looking out at me, or outside where I can see him….

    At this point… I just don’t know… Maybe I should have forgotten him a long time ago… But something makes me feel like I shouldn’t.

  241. wanting my neighbor

    I recently been single now 3 months.My married neighbor came over a couple months ago asked where Mike was ,I told him we split up.Since then he goes by everyday to work and back he looks into my window,we stare at each other when ever we can..he has watched me out his window alot when I go by because he knows the sound of my pickup.I now for the past month get up at 5 am to watch him go to work.He makes my day when he drives by I really want him and am wound-up like a 8 day clock.He is on my mind 24/7 help!!!

  242. Anon

    Holy shit! He was just here, did the eye thing several times, made me all tongue tied, gave me a hug when he left, soft, gentle, lingering hand down my arm and elbow, gentle squeeze. Makes me nervous and a little bit crazy, so much electricity pulsing through my body makes me a bit dizzy, send those pulses to my saddlebags to wake them up and electrify them away!!  Pointless feelings, why have them? They will go no where and they are very wrong, I am married, he has a partner.. So very wrong, I think he has the same feelings, if it were not for the way he looks at me, I wouldn’t feel all giddy and weird, AND to make it worse he’s being all kind and caring and lovely… 
    Crush crush crush

    Talk about throw me out for a whole day… I cant stop thinking about that hug… How can a person do that to me!!
    I am on FIRE… Seriously… Those eyes, god I make myself sick, I am so besotted its disgusting!

    You know I wonder if he doesn’t look that intently at everyone, perhaps he does and I’m the only person who develops a crazy crush over it.. Its so silly & ridiculous, he must think me such an idiotic child. 
    Embarassing, he is just a kind and attentive person naturally and I, a silly girl with creative thoughts. 

  243. TheCrusher

    I seriously need a friend to unload about my crush to on a daily basis. One of these days I’m gonna go home and blurt out to my hubby, ‘Guess what my crush did today!’ Ugh.
    I figured Valentines day would be a good relaxing day with my crush laying low in honor of his wife. And I dedicating my thoughts to my husband. But nooooo, my crush came by my office three times and emailed. It was a record day for his socializing with me. All I could think about all day was, ‘What is he thinking about that keeps bringing him over here!?’ Could he have been wanting to say something and couldn’t? I did have a wonderful evening with my husband but thoughts of my crush kept creeping in.

    Then he was at my office first thing this morning. My office neighbor made a comment to him about leaving me alone(in a joking manner).That was really funny since my crush is the top dog. My office neighbor doesn’t care what he says, he’s retiring in two weeks.
    He was at my office first thing because he had to leave for meetings all day. He said I brighten up his days when he sees me. It is sooo hard not saying something to make it all worse. The thoughts that pop into my head would really escalate things, but I’m doing me best to keep them to myself. I think we both like each other because we are good people and I want to keep it that way. I worry if we got carried away, then respect for each other would fly out the window.

  244. Anonymous

    I have a huge crush on this guy named kendrick and he is sooooo sexy and cute.. but I will NEVER tell him.. I am NOT his type…

  245. Anonymous

    I have a really big crush on this guy named Kendrick… he is sooooo sexy and cute but I can never tell him… i am not his type.. I just want to give him a big kiss on the lips and hold his hand… I just watch his facebook page and thats all I can do

  246. jenna

    I am crushing hard on my college professor. He is really funny and I get so shy that I cannot even make eye contact I am married and my husband knows and it makes him jealous I can’t help it.

  247. caught by cupid....again

    I have had a enormous crush on one of my brother’s friends…he’s older than me by 6 years. He has the most expressive blue eyes and he makes my breath stop just by smiling….but I have been a coward to ask him out for the longest time…now I am married to an awesome husband….but my crush is always on my mind. I know it’s too late to ask him…it isn’t fair to my husband…and it’s not fair to my crush either. I mean…what if he is married and happy with his wife? I mean is it fair to break up a good relationship just to pursue a whim or fantasy? I don’t want to be the “other Woman” or him becoming the “other Man” in either of our relationships… We are good friends and still talk on facebook, but I will always ask myself….what if?

  248. Law of Vibrational Energy

    The first time i saw him i was surprised. My first thought was that he looked like Flynn Rider off of Tangled LOL! It’s wierd because it’s like i knew him from before, and he looked pretty surprised too when he saw me. This was the first time being in this school for both of us. It took maybe 3 months to realize i liked him. It’s funny because we flirted a lot and its cute. Its all from a distance though. We’ve never actually had a full on conversation but just his expressions say so much.

    One time i decided after class to go up to him and ask him a random question. He said “yes?”, expecting another question about missing homework. I asked him if he believed in aliens (my classmates and i were discussing life on other planets. yes random! i noticed him looking over his laptop and eavesdropping.) The look on his face was priceless haha! His smile was REALLY big and very heart warming! I couldn’t help but smile back. He said yes, but I thought he was just saying that for fun. I said “cool me too!” and then we just smiled at each other. It was a bit awkward but we both thought it was funny. Then i said “…that was random.” He said yes it was. So we just said goodbye and I left. His smile that day was so adorable and different 🙂 Even until now I can remember it clearly and it automatically makes my day brighter. It’s like we flirt when we’re apart, but we get a little shy when we’re close. I remember during science, he described bonds as being “sorta like a crush; they always get so close but never touch”. I could tell he was teasing me, but i acted like i wasnt paying attention.(in my head: WHAAT??)

    He has a funny and quirky personality. He’s a humanitarian and outdoorsy type of guy (rock climbs, hikes, likes sci-fy). We’re both into science, technology, and spiritual. I’m still learning about him through observing how he acts. I learned that he’s easygoing, friendly, social; can also be reserved and work alone (like me, so i can relate). I like how he works hard and helps others to work hard too. He actually cares about his students and his work. Some of his jokes are cheesy :p I also learned today, through a friend’s classmate (who has his class), that he has a girlfriend. According to my friend, her classmate says he sometimes mentions about his girlfriend. She’s slightly muscular, athletic, japanese, and beautiful.

    I dont really like gossip(ing), so i take it with a grain of salt. I didn’t ask any more questions to avoid sounding nosy. It seemed like he was trying to get closer to hear us, so I changed the subject. He never talked about his girlfriend or anything else really personal in our class. So now I’m really confused! He’s either: lying about his girlfriend; isnt lying but never talked about her when im around; my friend’s wrong; or something else.

    I’m just being more careful now. I know what he felt/feels for me was real. But if its true he has a gf, I should back off. If its false and he sincerely likes me, then we’ll just have to wait it out. He is 18 years my senior. I know it’s a lot but he’s amazing and lovely. He’s helped me to learn so much about my self and mature whether he knows it or not. I dont want to get him in trouble and he knows better than to act on his feelings.

    We’ll just see how these 4 years play out. I still have much to learn about him. Whatever happens, I’m glad we met. 🙂

  249. Anonymous

    I’ve been in a global long distance relationship for almost 3 years now, and I am convinced that he is the one. I even have thoughts about proposing marriage, but I don’t want to give up my career or burden him financially. Recently, I started talking to a guy at work and my heart flutters whenever I think about this guy. I hardly know him, and we’ve messaged each other at work. He says I can chat with him anytime, but I try not to. At work, I hope to run into him, but we both have busy schedules. He intrigues me, and my face gets warm just thinking of him. I know that I shouldn’t act on it, but I want to.

  250. nunya biz

    I have a crush on one of my good friends. She however, is going through a rough relationship that for some reason she wont give up on. Her woman treats her like shit, hacks her facebook, calls her a stupid bitch, and talks shit on her to her friends. her friends cant stand my friend, and want her gone. they live together, so it’s a very touchy subject. plus, i know her girlfriend, we hang out a couple times a week. idk what to do! i have feelings but, i cant EVER act out on them… *sigh* :/

  251. Married mama

    I’ve been married for 15 years and we have two wonderful children. My husband is a good man, hard worker, and loves me like crazy. But I have the most intense crush on one of the dads at my kids’ school. He is a stay-at-home dad, and I see him every day when we both take our kids to school. I sometimes chat with him, and I have caught him looking at me a few times from across the yard. He can be very flirty at times, and other times, is cold as ice. To be honest, I think he is attracted to me as well, and maybe that freaks him out a bit. I mean, he is a nice guy with a nice wife and family that he seems devoted to. I don’t think he would ever cheat, and honestly, I wouldn’t either. I really do love my husband and this crush just came about out of the blue for me. I felt attracted to this man the first time we ever spoke. My crush is INTENSE and has lasted for about 5 months now. I think and fantasize about him constantly. I try to play it cool around him though because I worry my feelings are transparent.

    The weird thing is this crush has been good for me and my marriage. It has motivated me to take better care of myself and lose weight. This has increased my confidence and happiness, which my husband says is contagious. Our sex life is improving, even if I do sometimes think about the other guy while we do it. But my marriage is overall much happier and better. He doesn’t know about my crush, though, as he knows the guy I think it would make it weird.

    I know my crush is a hopeless situation and needs to remain in fantasy land. But sometimes I just wish I could touch him, just once!

  252. AnonyMouse

    I know how so many of you feel, especially you, Lynn. There is a big attraction for me to my lecturer. He is so smart, serious, intelligent, drop dead gorgeous too! I’m 28 he’s about 29-32, at a guess, so he’s not decades older than me. I’ve never been into guys way older, but I am MARRIED with a child, and my hubby is 10 years older than me. By my own admission and not to seem conceit, but I’m an attractive lady and I dress well, I am the kind who has tried not to let my appearance slip by becoming a wife and mum, this guy is everything looks wise that I like, he looks like a film star! He wears expensive suits which is SUCH a turn on!! I wouldn’t DREAM of telling my crush how I feel as I am one shy gal deep down, and it’d be so inappropriate he doesn’t seem the type to be swayed by this kind of stuff- he’s a free spirit AND he could be married OR gay – as I don’t know him that well lol. There is the issue of sexual harassment against me and my possibly appearing a creeper – there’s just no way I’d do that, not even if I was NOT married…ahh, crushes! I feel about 15 again – I don’t know whether my crush likes me back. I can’t see it, who’d want someone with kids anyways? My husband is neglectful and we have split several times but I see marriage as for life…
    I fantasise about him like all the time his voice is amazingly sexy! It’s lovely but absolutely AWFUL at the same time as I know full well nothing can happen and I certainly will not be pursuing him! No way! All you gals who managed to get with ur crushes…fair play to you all but that’s NOT gonna be me. I gotta be strong and get back with my husband (we’re on a trial separation) and make our lives better! ? love to you all and keep strong, whatever you do!

  253. Anonymous

    I really bad crush on my sister husband for 5years it hard when I see him!! My sister hate me sometimes I feel it!!everytime I am around him I jumping when he looks into my eyes my heart is beatings really fast and slower at the same time! I want to get over this, cuz I love my sis!!

  254. heang

    I really bad crush on my sister husband for 5years it hard when I see him!! My sister hate me sometimes I feel it!!everytime I am around him I jumping when he looks into my eyes my heart is beatings really fast and slower at the same time! I want to get over this, cuz I love my sis!!

  255. ornella

    My team manager. He has me seated right across from him. We’re in each other’s face all day long. Makes it even harder. He’s married; I’m happily single. I want to be seated elsewhere so we stop being each other’s eye candy. It’s exhausting.

  256. No one

    I’m 35, married 16 years and have a crush on a man who’s single and 53. It seems so confusing. I don’t know why. I love my husband and have always been faithful. This other man is not what some would say “attractive” but (A bit rough around the edges.)But in my eyes he is. He rides a Harley. He flirts with me and hugs me and says very sexual things to me. My husband thinks we’re joking around, but I think there is some chemistry between us. If we go out and bump into him, he is always running over to hug me. Calls me sexy. I had such low self esteem before I met him. He cheers me up. I know he’s just being a good friend, but I find myself fantasizing about him constantly. I get butterflies when I see him. He’s so nice to me & treats me like a woman. It seems so silly though. I care about him but I only want to be friends. This is frustrating

  257. Tara

    For 18 months now, I have been in love with my much younger co-worker. He is 38, and I am 50. I am married, and he has been in a series of relationships, but is now singe. We hang out together once a week, and have the best time. The chemistry is incredible, though we have never done more than a long hug. He is my soul mate, we talk or email multiple times a day, and have done so for over a year now. I don’t know what to do. I do NOT want to hurt my husband and kids, and I believe in monogamy. I just don’t know if we were meant to be monogamous with the same person for our entire life. I need advice and would welcome whatever readers have to say. Thank you ….

  258. Anonymous

    my next door neighbor who is 17 yrs older than me but she is married. im always making nice comments to her whenever i see her outside or when im in her swimming pool. what would be the chances of me getting her into bed if i approached her that way ?

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  260. Anonymous Bug

    I am married. Not a perfect marriage because my husband and I are like oil and vinegar. We dont mix at all. We are the complete opposite of eachother and thats hard and what I love cause is fun to disagree in all then cope with it. We are both black and he knows for a fact that I always liked white men better he even asked me why I didnt married an Asian man or something. We have our funs and hard times and I tried to cope with it all. But I started a new job, God Knows I am NOT LYING. When we married we were both virgins and I hated the very thought of sleeping or kissing someone that had slept and kissed other women before. It made me feel dirty, just the thought of it. (I AM SORRY!!!) I have HUGE CRUSH ON ONE OF MY MANAGERS who is also married and a WOMANIZER a player Ànd a Don Juan. It is a nighmare, I dream about him every night and I think I like him cause we are both from Caribbean countries and we have SOO MUCH IN COMMON. But I am married and feel so guilty and dirty about it. I want this man so bad that I thought if I ever cheat on my Hubby I will seriously kill myself right after cause he dont deserve it. I WOULD!!! This guy by the way likes me but knowing the antics he would play golf with me and dump me right after. And his poor wife T.T . No to mention he got 5 kids with different women, with 5 different women. And this man who is more used worned than a pair of sneakers I want, I serious physical attraction towards him and HE IS NOT ALL THAT. How can I like someone against my better judgment and against my own principles. Any comments, even to shred me to pieces. Ps my husband doesnt like sex and I way too much, so I hood back a lot and I am like a ticking bomb in bed.

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  263. supersweet

    i have a crush on my son’s after school assistant/mentor. I have known him for years and one thing that I really feel comfortable around him about is my son (who is the most important person in my life) i have gone through some growth and changes and I am at a great place spiritually, mentally and emotionally. I feel satisfied, happy and refreshed. I am single by choice and recently my son restarted his after care program. One day I went to pick him up and it was like a wave of water that slowly hit me. I feel an energy around him that I am sure is attraction. I am trying to take my time because I don’t want to be irresponsible but I have taken a hyatus from relationships because no one has been worthy. when I think about him i am SMILING LAUGHING and fantasizing. I just got his phone number kinda by accident and I am sometimes nervous around him, feeling that others might catch me staring or smiling at him …omg it’s kind of exciting to be in your early 30’s and crushing on someone almost 8 yrs younger than you…hey it’s possible. the greatest thing is that my son loves him & gets along so well with him..oh dear tbc…if nothing happens for now, I am ok with that, I will gladly fantasize in the meantime…:)

  264. Autumn

    I have fallen in love with my tattoo artist who has become a good friend over the past 6 years. I don’t see him all that often outside of sessions, but there have been inuendos dropped through the years on both parts, but I still never figured out whether he was truly interested or not. I get the occasional random late night private message on Facebook in response to things I post that are quite flirty. There have been lingering hugs, talk about how it would have been great if we met 20 years ago, etc and lots of meaningful eye contact (or perhaps wishful thinking on my part) One time I posted a ridiculous and juvenile meme on FB that went something like “It was basically this:
    (poke) me if you ever had a crush on me
    (like) this status if I’m a good friend
    (comment) if we’ve had good times together
    (message) me if you ever wanted a relationship

    His response: “Cold feet? I was going to poke you, then I was going to like you, but now I”m sending you a message to tell you I’m glad you’re my friend”

    this of course confused the hell out of me 1 because he was in another relationship at the time and 2…not sure what it meant, if anything.

    I had gotten engaged and while congratulatory, he seemed almost lamenting. Anyway, I think I have actually fallen in love with him. He lives with someone now. Our timing has sucked. I am in a polyamorous relationship. He is not. I’m thinking when my sleeve is complete of just writing to him to admit it and end the friendship that way since it probably could never happen.

  265. Emily

    Now I’m writing this down, I’m not sure if it is a crush actually. I’m attracted to my manager, but we both have partners and I have no desire to ruin that. I mostly just enjoy chatting to him and find him extremely easy to talk to compared to most people. We have a LOT in common, which is where I think the attraction stems from (it’s rare that I can share so many interests with the same person). He is attractive, and if we were both single I would definitely date him as he is my type. But I would also be happy just being good friends and nothing more. It’s a very odd situation and not one I’ve been in before. Normally when I find someone attractive, it’s purely a physical thing and I just want a relationship and nothing else. But with this guy I want to sit and talk for hours. I want to hang out with him rather than have sex! However, I don’t think he sees me as anything more than a colleague and since I realised that, it’s been really awkward.

  266. shae

    Major crush on local cop. Worst part – it’s reciprocated, and we’re both married with kids. We’re friends,but I’m afraid one of these days he’s going to do something and I won’t say no.

  267. anonymous52

    Major crush on work colleague. I am married, so is she. Even just hearing her voice, gives me butterfly’s in my stomach. I really try to keep my eyes to myself when she walks past, but I find it almost impossible to do so.

    I have kept my feelings well hidden for a fair amount of time. Recently on a staff outing our eyes kept meeting across the table. I would catch her looking at me, and she would catch me looking at her. This went on for several hours. I really don’t believe this was intentional behavior by either of us, but we could not keep our eyes off each other. My heart was pounding and I felt really weak and pathetic. Two weeks later, and I still can not get her out of my mind. I wake up with butterfly’s, I go to bed with butterfly’s, and I have days of felting complete heartache and a crushing sensation in my chest. I have no intention of acting on these feelings, or carrying out the fantasy’s I am having, and I really don’t think she has any intention either, she is also married.

    Ive always thought that if you want to be unfaithful, don’t get married. I can now see that things are not so black and white. From the eye flirting that went on at the table that night, i’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual. I really didn’t want my feelings to be known, and I doubt she did either.

    My heart is pounding at just the thought of being alone with her. Its dangerous ground.

  268. Jacklyn

    Well, for starters, I developed a really big crush on my best friend back in high school, my freshman year & it was pretty immediate as well, since I took it upon myself to do something I sort of regret doing to begin with & that was the fact that I kissed my best friend on the cheek at the time! Of course, that was the ONLY time & never did it again…Of course my feelings for him lasted all the way through high school, until maybe a few years after college for me, which in total for the most part was 6 years! But of course, I never told him I had feelings for him til after I moved to my mother’s home, & he told me that he KNEW from the beginnning that I had feelings for him, but he just didn’t know what to say to me, since he didn’t want me to get hurt as we were such great friends! He didn’t want to jeopardize that in any way at all, but of course he told me that he didn’t feel the same way & I just sucked it up & told him that I understood!
    I guess you could say it went from a big crush to falling in love with him, & it was hard for me, but after 6 yrs, I finally moved on & I’m glad I did for my own good!
    However, we’re still friends even though we haven’t talked in a really long time & a very small part will always care about him nonetheless…

    Now, moving on to something completely a bit different…
    It wasn’t too long ago, about 4 months ago, that I started developing a MASSIVE crush on a guy who’s a singer/songwriter & who started out in the late 80s with hits like “Right Here Waiting” “Endless Summer Nights” “Should’ve Known Better” etc, although he’s considered a very underrated artist, very talented & VERY HANDSOME!! That would have to be none other than Mr. Richard Marx! I seriously don’t understand why I’ve developed such a crush on him, since I’m only in my mid 20s & he’s 50 for cryin’ out loud, he’s practically old enough to be my dad!! But for whatever reason, I just can’t seem to help myself…seems like you could call it being a bit on the awkward side to be honest!

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