Do you feel equal to your siblings, or is one favored over the others?

In your family, do you feel "equal" to your siblings, or do your parents favor one over the others? Was it this way growing up also and have you ever addressed it?

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23 thoughts on “Do you feel equal to your siblings, or is one favored over the others?

  1. Anonymous

    I only have one older brother and yea he is the favorite always has been and always will be I’ve pretty much gotten over it cause I dont live near my parents and never have once I left home. He is right in the same town so he is the responsible one to my dad whose left so with that he gets the job.

  2. Anonymous

    I’ve always been the favored one, being the youngest and the only girl, but my two brothers are also complete losers (in all ways you can think of) so I can’t say I blame my parents.

  3. peeking in

    Growing up I didn’t feel there was a ‘favorite child’ (it’s just me & my little brother). Though I think in some situations I felt he got more leway with my folks for getting away with things (he dropped out of high school, they bought him his first car, he was busted with drugs and they didn’t kill him, stuff like that). Now I still feel there isn’t a favorite, per say. Looking from the outside in you would think I would be the favorite, I’m ‘living the dream’ – great marriage, kids, house, dream job, ect. and he is still living at home (at 29, hello get out of the house already). But inside our family my Mom is great at supporting us both as individuals. In his defense: he has like two jobs and his own business, he pays his bills and gives my Mom money when he can, and it’s nice to know she is not alone in that house at night. He is also a GREAT uncle and we have a fabulous friendship. So, all in all, I hope I can have the same even-handedness my Mom did in raising my three boys.

  4. c

    I was the oldest of 4. My closest sibling is 7 years younger than I. I was always the dutiful one. My younger siblings got the most attention. My mom only went to one of my band concerts in 6 years…and my dad…I don’t think I remember him ever coming. I definitely wasn’t a favorite…

  5. payday advance online

    I always felt equal to all my siblings except my step brothers, because they in my opinion were spoiled rotten by there mom (my stepmother). I always treat my kids equal, althought they might not think so. I love all my kids equally.

  6. Anonymous

    My dad isn’t really my dad. He is my stepdad, but he raised me since I was a young child. He always says I am as much his daughter as his real daughter, but it is definitely only when it is convenient for him. For instance, him and my sister had a huge fight recently and he was calling me asking for my support, for which I was glad to offer. There have been several times when he was broke and I gave him some money. Most recently when he needed gas money asked my sister and she said no because she had to buy some febreeze. I only had $5 and I gave it to him, even though I needed gas myself. Now he is living with my grandma, who has money and he is now in a good position. When I asked for help with money recently, for 2 different severe problems, he said no, even though I could pay him back since I work 3 jobs. But my sister, who has no job, can go get money whenever she wants, and they have also set her up with a trust and bonds, neither of which they have ever done for me.
    So I can be his daughter when it is convenient for him and he needs my help. I have been there for him through 4 divorces, one of which was my mom, and I took his side through. I was there when he was foreclosed on and nobody else would help him move. I was there when he was sick, and nobody else cared. But when it comes to money I am not his “true” daughter and he can’t help. (Not because he doesn’t have it, he has a lot of money now). It is f’d up.

  7. Anonymous

    My husbands family favors the two sisters and not him. Now it affects me because the sister and her two girls are greatly favored over my two sons. Even my step-son who is 20 (husband’s son) is favored over mine. It hurts. My boys aren’t included in things, etc., and if I mention anything it gets twisted that I’m not taking them right, etc. My husband has just explained to me that it has been like that since he was a child (that his mom & dad favored the sisters) and that’s why he can’t stand them. He said he doesn’t think about it or he’d be mad and angry all the time, so he tells me just to let it go, but it hurts, especially when they treat his oldest son like gold, but don’t care whether mine are there or not. Like this 4th of July, my inlaws and favored sister and her family will be spending at cousins cabin and have loft all to themselves. We were told either not to stay, or can use tent outside (they have bears that’s why other’s won’t camp there) or sleep on living room floor. Wow, we’ve never been there, were just invited, and we get the scraps. This happens ALL the time, and I’m SOOOOO sick of it.

  8. Anonymous

    My parents ALWAYS favored my older sister. She is 6 years older and whenever she has done something they would yell at me. Whether we were children, in our 20’s or 30’s. It was always my fault even if she started a fight or done something. I blame them for having no relationship with my sister at all.

    Now, we are both in our 30’s and just few days ago we were at my dad’s birthday party. My dad was saying how he handmade something and was describing it. I was eating and just listening, seemed interesting actually, yet my sister burst out laughing. 5 minutes later my dad got up and brought up that thing he handmade, and started showing it in my face, yelling at me and telling me that nothing is funny, he even blow a raspberry in my face. A man in his early 60’s to do that is sick. I was shocked, yet not all that surprised that he is blaming me because he has been doing it all my life.
    I got up from the table and went into washroom for little bit. I did not wanted to make a scene as there were other guests present, but I am pregnant, I don’t need this especially now. My husband and little one were there as well and I stayed until they ate cake and left. Even my mother started giving me a lecture because I refused to return to the table and she started bickering at me, bringing up my pregnancy hormones and whatnot.
    My sister did not say a word, she just sat there, neither did her husband say anything, but her behavior is nothing new, she always does that. A normal person would get up and say stop blaming her, she did not say anything.
    Now, my only wish is to ensure that my children are treated equal and to never treat them the way I have been treated.

    Sorry for venting and a long post.

  9. Anonymous

    My little sister has always been favored over me by our mother no matter what!

    I’m the older sister, and I’m the one who has to not only tend to our mother, but her as well. I listen to and protect both of them, and my mom has literally begun seeing me as a counselor more than a daughter. She’s even told me to my face she didn’t love me, and thought I was crazy when I tried to talk to her about her favoring my sister over me. Hell, she’s threatened to call the cops on me for wanting to have a heart to heart talk!

    I love my little sister with all my heart, but it figures that she doesn’t do anything about this treatment. She ignores it, but it’s a-okay for me to go up and defend her when they’re mistreating her! I’ve even offered to pay for her college tuition when I have my own to worry over. I’m the one who began looking for a place to get her and myself away from our abusive situation. I even paid for her ACTs with money I received from our deceased father’s insurance.

    And my sister doesn’t even want to move in with me, because she wants to separate from both of us. She’s ungrateful, and because she knows that if she’s quiet while she’s getting scolded, she’ll be defended soon enough.

    She’s quiet, and shy, and very nice. But no one but myself can see how mean she can really be. I’m mean too, yes, but because I out right scold her for doing wrong, I’m played off as the rotten sister. People have told me constantly I’m so cruel. But she’s even crueler.

    My sister loves to pawn off our mother. I’m the only one who watches her to make sure she doesn’t spend too much. If I do ask for something, though, mom makes a big deal about it. I asked for a seven dollar subscription for my birthday present, instead of the hundred dollar tablet they promised me. I got yelled at, because my tapes earlier had paid for ‘my birthday’ apparently. My sister asks for over thirty dollars in videos every time we go to a video store. I don’t even want to know how much she got for her birthday. Every time we go to the video store, I ask for nothing. It’s okay.

    My sister outright admits she hates our parents. She only views them as pawns for money. Sometimes I wonder if she views me as that too. I’m the one who asks her to be nicer to them. I ask her to stop pawning money. I have to ASK her to go to them and hug them when they’re feeling down. Because my hugs aren’t good enough anymore. I practically raised her, and she views me as a mother figure. Yet she also has this attitude problem, and decides it’s okay not to apologize to me when she uses MY phone without first telling me one of my best friends calls me. This best friend usually only calls me when in cases of an emergency, and I was in the bath at the moment. I keep asking her to bring me the phone, and she outright ignores me. Finally I scream for it, and when I scold her, I get yelled at by mother who immediately flies to her rescue.

    When I was being vocally and physically abused by our step father, Mother never came to my rescue then! But when Mother was abused, I had to step up for her, or she’d berate me. I’m so frustrated…

    Sorry for the vent, I just really needed to get that off my shoulders before I screamed or something…

  10. sickbastard

    Ah the unfairness of it all. I hate my brother. I just downright HATE his guts, his very being. I knew even back then that he never loved me but just pretended to love his little sister to impress our dad. Right now we are not speaking with each other, he can’t even look me in the eye. He also disowned me as a blood sister. Well screw him. He’s about 2 decades older than I am so by the time I turn 40 he’ll be this old man and I’m going to taunt him and make him miserable just like he did me.

  11. kinsman

    My sister is the favorite. At 9 years old, she has no chores, she talks back to my parents, lies compulsively, and gets just about whatever she wants. She’s always the one who can do nothing wrong, a real “golden child”.
    Even though I am 18, I graduated with honors from high school, I’m paying my way through college (I got into my first choice, by the way), I stay out of my parents hair, I do almost all the chores in the house, attend church regularly on my own, and I have a part time job during the week, and yet my parents are never proud of me, they’re always slinging insults my way, and saying that I can’t make it. I bend over backwards for my family, my bratty sister included, and I get nothing in return.
    It’s a good thing my school is 4 and a half hours away.

  12. Anonymous

    I am the second child of four. I’ve never been a favorite of my parents. My mom’s favorite is my younger brother and my dad’s favorite is my youngest sister. My mom only likes my brother more because he is the only boy. She babied him to death. It’s a wonder he can do anything for himself because everything was always done for him by my mother. My youngest is my dad’s favorite because she is just like him and he respects her for it. And because she’s the baby of the family, he has always spoiled her. To the point when my mother would punish her for doing something, she would smile and say, “We’ll just see what Daddy has to say about that.” It was sickenening the way my parents treated them. My older sister and I were never spoiled that way, but I’m glad because I think we turned out better and are able to do more for ourselves.

  13. Anonymous

    I am the youngest of three. The only one to not move back into the house after college and the only one to get married and have children, but in my parents eye’s I am the black sheep… My middle sister was always the favorite. She was and is my moms best friend and ultimate suck up… My sister followed in my moms footsteps toward the same profession and never goes out with any friends or potential boyfriends, but instead hangs out with our retired mother. When I gave birth to my first child I definately got the sense that my mother wanted her to be the one giving them their first grandchild and would even tell me to go rest and hand my child over to her… Repeated that with the next two as well… My mother has told me she doesn’t expect my oldest sister to go anywhere with her life, but wants my other sister to get out there and meet people, but my sisters have never left the nest and now I don’t know if they even know how or ever will. My mother and I have recently had a falling out in the way that she treats me. I feel bad for my children and don’t want to deprive them of their grandparents. My mother made promises to my kids. She told them, ” no matter what she would always visit the kids” – then with this recent fight she tells me, “I can’t come see the kids because I want to be able to see you to…” My mother uses guilt in any arguement and this time Iam not going to take it… I feel bad for my kids and yes I will make sure she sees them, but any closness we may have had in the past is gone.
    My mom spins things to my sisters that aren’t exactly true and I don’t have them in my corner. Not a surpise, that they would do anything for my mom with out knowing the whole story. My dad does know alot more than my sisters and I don’t expect him to help me. He is in love with the idea of their marriage and not the actual relationship. They have been married for a very long time and have faught ever since I could remember. My main focus now is my husband and children. My fear is that what I learned from my mother has rubbed off and I will some how transfer that off to my kids. I don’t want to play favorites, but know that it happens.

  14. Anonymous

    My siblings have done drugs, have had countless failed relationships, jump from job to job, and just basically have not been here for our parents. When mom needed surgery it was my oldest sibling telling me that I needed to be there, she was just too busy. (I would of been there no matter what). Dad sends out a message saying he needs help with work on the house, who shows up? My husband and I. I ask for nothing in return. They clothed, fed, and sheltered me for 18 years, its the least I can do. Do my siblings realize this? No. They do not understand that they treat our parents like dirt. They ask for advice from one of them, and when they are given it they get royally mad if it is not what they want to hear. I am the favorite, but it is that way because I show respect and reverance for my parents. I appreciate all that they have done and continue to do for me.

  15. Anonymous

    My sister has always been the favorite ever since i can remember. it doesnt affect my relationship with her because shes not the one at fault its my parents. they say because she was sick when she was little but i think thats a bunch of crock i would never do that to my kid. even to this day if i ask something its no if she asks its yes. its hurtful but i have to find a way to get over it otherwise i will gain a bigger seed of bitterness towards them and i dont want to feel that way….

  16. Bumb1edee

    My sister is the favourite -she has manipulated my mother and the rest of my family and made off with my mothers money from her house sale and blamed me. She may think she has got away with it but I hope there is a hell because she deserves to suffer there.
    I will never treat my children the way my mother has treated me

  17. Sawreygirl

    My Mum favours my older brother – I had often wondered, but when my Dad was dying I was the one running around helping – she commented once when she was upset that the child you favour often does the least. I have 2 sons and can happily say that I do not have a favourite.
    Interestingly my husband is the youngest of 3 and the favourite of each of his parents – I think because he is very laid back and was an easy child.

  18. Anonymous

    I am the oldest child. My dad is deceased. My dad owns a business and apts. My brother & I both do not live nearby (only our sister). She has been given the opportunity to work for the family business, manage the apartments and make money off of them. Including her husband (my brother in law) it isn’t fair and equal that they are getting more than my brother and I in the long run and my mom doesn’t see that we are being treated any different only as saving money??? Please help

  19. Anonymous

    My parents favored my brother. In our Hispanic culture, the boy is considered more valuable, or at least it was when I was a kid. I always knew this to be true, but my Mom always denied it until I was about 45 years old & it was Mother’s Day and we were going out. She finally admitted that she DID favor my brother when we were younger because they had more in common, they both loved Science Fiction, scary movies, etc. I felt validated that she finally told the truth and I wasn’t imagining it. She apologized and said she regretted it, because after all that my brother barely speaks to her since he left home at a young age, but I was the loyal daughter until the day she died. I sure miss my mom.

  20. Anonymous

    My mother favors my second to eldest sister. And I’m not sure why. This sister refuses to hold a job. Her husband went to jail for a DUI and was hooked on pain killers. They are always asking my parents for money…even now that my father is retiring and they won’t have any money.

    When I got engaged in 2010, I set my wedding date. My sister then immediately flipped out because that was an important religious day for her son and was demanding that I change the date of my wedding. I refused. Frankly, it’s a wedding. I shouldn’t have to change my wedding (btw…I had already had to change my wedding date twice because my fiance was in the military and we were having trouble getting a date that would be allowed by the military). She screamed and ranted and raved and said that she would absolutely not come to my wedding unless I changed it. My mother tried to convince me to go through the whole process of trying to get another date scheduled. I had also already printed my wedding invitations twice and had just sent the new date to the printer when all this happened. My mother said I wasn’t being fair. My sister told several people behind my back that my marriage wasn’t going to last anyway so what difference did it make when we got married. And YES, she did know about all the changes we had to make to our wedding. She just didn’t care. He son’s baptism was more important than my wedding day. She ended up changing the baptism because I absolutely refused to change my wedding date. But she complained every step of the way and she brings it up all the time like it’s a bargaining chip, “Well I changed this for your wedding, so you should have to accommodate…” And I’ve gotten to the point where I just say, “I’m done accommodating you and I’m done being punished for getting married. A wedding is more important than a baptism. It is the holiest union and if you were truly religious you would understand that. But you’re only religious to the point that it serves you and your ability to torture other people. So back OFF.” That typically shuts her up for twenty minutes. But then she’s right back on it. And of course, she ropes my mother in. She ropes my grandmother on.

    And that’s just one instance. Christmas is tomorrow. On Saturday morning the same sister promptly called my mother to say, “Oh btw, we’re hosting my husband’s family dinner at our house this year for Christmas, so if you want to see my kids you have to move family Christmas to Christmas Eve.” So the ENTIRE family was told that my mother had changed our family Christmas to Christmas Eve, when my husband’s family had already made accommodations to be with us on Christmas Eve since his Dad has to work on Christmas. So now if we want to see my family, we can’t see his family. And I asked my mother why we always do this. Why we always let her dictate everything like she’s the only person in the family with anything else going on. My mother has FOUR children NOT one. But it sure seems like one. I also said to my Mom…you know…we have changed Christmas plans for her EVERY year since she had children. Later times. Different setups. My husband was in another country on a deployment for our first married Christmas so it would be nice if we could spend some of our first Christmas together TOGETHER. But we are being forced to accommodate this BRAT.

    And EVERYTHING is this way. Our family changes every holiday get together. We change times, dates, etc. Every year we all get together for each other’s birthdays. Oh…but not MINE. Because it’s too much trouble for the princess to be able to accommodate two days in one month. So if I want to celebrate my birthday with my family, I have to share it with someone else. But we can’t go to any of the restaurants I like because SHE doesn’t like them.

    She once even started a war and involved our mother because I wrote something on FaceBook and she just up and decided it was about her. So she went on a tirade. And our mother called me in hysterics and forced me to apologize for something that wasn’t even about HER. BTW…I am still in my mid-20s. This sister is in her mid-30s. She keeps calling me immature and childish and selfish. Why is it selfish to ask why we are always accommodating her?

    I do not understand why my mother acts like my sister is made of gold and that we should all “not make things harder for her”. Oh I get it…so I’m just supposed to take it up the rear every time and make my own life harder to accommodate her at every turn? It’s been ridiculous for a long time.

    My husband and I are very likely moving out of state in 2013. Well that will be good for the princess. Then she won’t have to worry about competing with me for our mother’s affection. Not like it was ever a competition to begin with. I barely exist to my mother. What’s so sad about this is that I’m so done with all the BS with my family that I just won’t ever come to visit once we’ve moved and I won’t accommodate my family coming to visit. So I guess even I have my own children my mother will just have to keep babying my sister and her brats.

    I think the reality is that my sister uses her children as a bargaining chip. If my mother doesn’t do what she wants, “well then I guess you won’t get to see my kids”…and then my mother just breaks down. Frankly, I’m at my own personal breaking point. I just can’t deal with it.

  21. KW1980

    I come from an odd situation…my father was/is a sex offender, I pressed charges on him once I was 15. I was abused, along with both of my sisters, each to varying degrees. For 12 years, that I could remember, he made my life hell. My mom left, was unable to support all of us alone, so my youngest sister was 5 when she was removed from her custody and adopted. My middle sister was 9 when she went to live with an aunt and uncle. I was 1 when I was out on my own. I still keep in touch with my dads family. I think with my mom I was favored, only as I was the oldest. With my dads family, my middle sister is favored. I had two children with no help, baby shower, etc from them, she has her first and is showered with gifts, money, and a party. I’m glad that she has them, but I feel alone. Other than my husband and a few close friends, I have no one to rely on. No help, no one who could pick my kids up if their at school and something happens, nothing. While I understand that she was raised more closely with them, it still hurts my feelings that they don’t seem to care…

  22. Anonymous

    I’am the oldest of 7 sibilings on with my dad and different women & the oldest of 8 sibilings with my birth mom with different men coming in and out of our houses. I was always the one with my dad more because I was the oldest til recently my sister and brothers started appearing over the years. Living with my mom and being a holiday kid for my father sucked but they loved it . Now Iam older dated my husband now for 5yrs ,married 9yrs 3 kids & a rabbit. Pretty much Iam the odd one because of trying to live as God intended me to do so . My husband & kids always come first so I get bashed all the time. So I moved away from my family & only see them on holidays sometimes if Iam up to tolerating lots of drinking & direspecting of elderly family members which is usually a No! No ! So We Stay Home…….:( Iam the oldest & only child that doesnt ask for anything nor have my parents worried all the time.

  23. Anon

    I have one younger sister who is 3 years younger than me. I am 16 and she is 13. I would like to believe that they like us equally but i don’t think this is true. They get away with everything and never get in trouble. If we argue and shes wrong it will be my fault. She gets away with things i was never allowed to do at that age.


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