Do you enjoy sex or just go along with it?


Do you enjoy sex or just go along with it because your partner wants it?  How often would YOU want to have sex?

(remember, at Anonymousmom.com when you respond, you do NOT have to leave your name, email or link to your blog… but if you want to – feel free)

41 thoughts on “Do you enjoy sex or just go along with it?

  1. Anonymous

    I used to enjoy it but now it’s more of a duty than a pleasurable adventure. There are times when I’m actually in the mood but more often than not I’m having sex with my husband because HE wants to. If I had my way, we’d have sex once a month or so.

    Reply
    1. Anonymous

      Yep, I totally agree. Not into like I use to be. The love and physical attraction is still there but the drive isn’t. Once a month is fine with me.

      Reply
  2. meohmy

    Well… I’m usually so tired that I would prefer to sleep. And, really, I just don’t desire it that much. Once we get into it – I mean, I’m all good to go. But I’d be fine with once a month or even less!

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  3. Just Me

    Well when I was younger it was more of a duty but that was because we hadn’t learned to do it correctly. After 17 years of marriage it’s never been better. I’m very comfortable with my body and my husband loves it when I’m happy. I think it only gets better!

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  4. Jsillygirl

    When our children were a little younger I was just going along with it. Now that our children are a little older I enjoy it a lot more. Not as tired as I was when they were babies and more time to have time together so it’s not just a “quickie”.

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  5. anonymous

    It’s gotten way better since I’ve had kids. Before it used to hurt I was so tight. My husband really wants to make me climax, but I just… can’t. It’s not really one of those things that I know how to even find out more about. Can you learn to climax? I have to fake it so it doesn’t hurt his feelings.

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  6. BurfordWife

    When we first got married, I was the only one who COULD climax. It took a few weeks for him to! We were both virgins, and we were both ingrained not to have sex til married, I think this had a huge impact on him. Realising that it’s not ‘wrong’ anymore.
    I’M the sexual predator in our house! I’m very orgasmic, and am sometimes the only one who reaches climax!

    Also a funny thing is; when I’m pregnant my sex drive can be at one end or the other. My first two pregnancies I was horny ALL the time, til the last three to four weeks! In my current pregnancy, I’m not very interested at ALL in sex! I prefer the kisses and cuddles more; AND my husband has become the sexual predator! A little funny because of the reversal of roles! I think he’s turned on by my HUGE boobs!

    I don’t like the idea of ‘faking it’ but sometimes it gets him there, he’s always looking more for me to climax first, and then cum together. But during this pregnancy it’s been me trying to get him to climax quicker so I can get to the kissing and cuddles! So every now and then i fake it because he feels discouraged and bad that I’m not getting there.

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  7. Anonymous

    After baby #2, I enjoyed sex, but I don’t think I’ll ever get to enjoy it like I did before baby #1. I think it has a lot to do with the way he goes about initiating it. He doesn’t really. He waits till I fall asleep before he begins foreplay, so I’m asleep then all of a sudden I wake up and he’s having sex with me!! I’ve asked him to stop, even describing it as rape! But I think I brought it on myself since after baby #1, I would reject him CONSTANTLY because I just didn’t have the drive, so now I think he’s afraid of being rejected…

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  8. Amy

    to the anonymous asking about learning to climax … check out your bookstore! There are tons of books (if you’re nervous to do that, go to a different town and then no worries about seeing the sales people again!). You can look online, but sometimes it’s hard to find “teaching” sites, rather than porn, but you can try. Good luck!

    To the question … I LOVE sex and my husband is FANTASTIC! My complaint is only that he’s often tired from work and I often am rebuffed! If he even hints at it I’m raring to go! It helps that I’m wildly in love with him and that we are both extremely comfortable with each other. Having a baby made things a little difficult at first, but we’ve gotten good at finding alone time. We’ve just had to get used to being interrupted!

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  9. Anonymous

    I’m a single mom so I guess when I have been in long term relationships I have sometimes just gone with it. Right now I have a “friend” I see occasionally and it’s great every time. I think not seeing this person all the time makes me want it as soon as I see him, I have never “just gone with it” with him.
    I remember when I was with my son’s dad that at one point I didn’t want him touching me at all and I felt it was a waste of my time for his 3 min. sex. I finally told him to go find someone else to be with. I don’t know if he ever did but I did mean it. No it wouldn’t have hurt me if he did because I didn’t care anymore.

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  10. Anonymous

    Just go along with it, WHEN we do it. I used to enjoy it before my kids, but now am just too tired to even want to try to enjoy it. It is probably really unfair to my husband because we almost never do it anymore, but he doesn’t want me to if I don’t want to and the only reason I remotely do want to is because I feel I should, for him…

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  11. Anonymous

    I just go along with it. My marriage is just about to the end. I have NO sexual feelings for my husband at all. We work together, live together and just well thats it. We have nothing in common. I use to love sex. Especially with him. Now its just nothing. Not even the urge. To be honest there is someone else I would rather be with.

    Reply
  12. Anonymous

    Gets better with time! Sometimes he’s in the mood and I’m not and then I’m in the mood and he’s not. But there are times we wake up in the middle of the night and …ahem… it’s just the right time. Those are fun!

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  13. Anonymous

    I love sex! It’s been four months, because my husband has lost his libido or something. It gets longer and longer in between times we actually have sex. But when we do, I love it. I miss it. Sometimes I believe it’s the only way for my husband and I to experience passion in our relationship. We’re working on it, but until he has sex with me at least once a week, I’m not going to be very happy.

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  14. Anonymous

    To anonymous with the overly amorous night time lover…I can honestly say that after three kids, all of whom are still little, night time sex is my favorite. I get tired being a stay at home mom and homeschooler and sometimes am just not in the mood, but my wonderful husband is so sweet and gentle. He comes to bed after me, so it’s about the only time we have together, however, he generally wont start actually having sex until I am fully awake and able to enjoy it with him.

    Other than that, prior to child #1 my husband and I were VERY sexually active, but after 1 broken condom and an earlier than expected first pregnancy we realized it was really easy for me to get pregnant and so I was constantly worried about getting pregnant again before we were ready, which really cut down on my drive, but since child #3 I’ve had my tubes tied (medical reasons) and now the sex is back to being awesome.

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  15. Anonymous

    yeah & yeah, it sucked while i was really depressed, cuz i had no emotions or drive. and it’s all coming back to me now…you don’t appraicate till it’s gone! good thing my hubby stuck w/ me thru the dry spell. i really like sheet music by kevin leman. it helped me understand my hubby’s needs & etc in a totally new way! read it

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  16. Anonymous

    I just go along with it most times, it’s rare that I am in the mood. I have such a bust day mentally more. And when the time comes I would prefer to sleep than to do the deed.
    Sometimes it feels like an extra chore to do during the day. If I could plan a sex day that would be great. Like if we have sex 30 times today (lmao) then I can like use them as credits. Like hey i would like to cash in 3 credits today and then I’ll be free to sleep for three nights

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  17. Anonymous

    I just go along with it. I could do fine without having sex except for conceiving children. I can climax every time, and that’s fun, but I’m so small inside that it hurts every time I have sex, even after having a child. I only have sex with my husband once a week or so, but I almost dread it and only do it for him.

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  18. Anonymous

    I love it. But my husband only wants to when he wants to. So it is not as much fun. And it does not last long like it did when our relationship started. He is always to tired or just does not want to when I want to.

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  19. Anonymous

    we used to have a great sex life . . . then something happened in my hubbies head . . . he had ‘issues’, which made him angry and he took it out on me, verbally. So I no longer want anything to do with him. I only would have any relations with him when I was ovulating and even then I couldn’t move or do anything that I enjoy because of his ‘issues’. We pretty much have stopped all sex in this house . . . I’m too tired after 3 kids and don’t want to deal with sex only on his terms . . . so I just don’t.

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  20. Anonymous

    Used to… still do once in a while but between work, kids, the medication I’m on that KILLS any sex drive I might have… honestly, I could care less if I ever have sex again.

    I hate to admit that I miss the excitement of the touch of a man… the touch of my husband isn’t the same… I find myself daydreaming about other men (like former lovers)…

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  21. JustME

    I used to love to have sex with my husband but then again he used to take the time to help me enjoy it now as long as he gets his he is good. I have had two kids and my drive in almost gone and its hard to get ‘wet’ so most of the time it just hurts so i do what i can to let him get his enjoyment then roll over and hope the pain goes away by morning…

    Reply
  22. Anonymous

    I could never climax with my husband until a close friend told me that during sex I should do exactly what I did when I was masturbating. Sorry if that offends anyone. It worked for me. Unfortunately as I get older I enjoy it less and less. I don’t like that and I don’t know what to do about it.
    The sensation just isn’t there.
    Any help out there.

    Reply
  23. Anonymous

    I enjoy sex way more than my husband. He acts like it’s work. And before we were married, the sex was amazing!! He always made sure I was satisfied in many different ways. As soon as we were married, that all stopped. Now, maybe we have sex once a month. And when we do, I end up doing all the work. I think it’d be less work and just as satisfying, physically and emotionally, just to break out the vibrator.

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  24. Lydia

    Here is another of my when I was younger answers. When I was in my twenty’s for a number of reasons I would not complain or just go along with my partner leading him to believe I was having a great time. As I got older my patience got shorter. I am not doing anything that makes me feel uncomfortable if there is any way I can control the situation. Therefore, if I don’t enjoy I will tell him, if I don’t want to partake I will tell him. I will also tell myself if either of the two take place too ofent what is the change do I want to make in my life; because I do not want to string someone along if my feelings are gone. If he is a poor lover he will get the message to ask somebody and be willing to learn or move on to someone who doesn’t care.

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  25. Anonymous

    I guess it depends on where I am at emotionally. How tired I am, how angry I am, etc. are all factors in whether I enjoy or even want sex or not.

    I do wish my husbands penis was … bigger..somehow. A bit longer , and a bit thicker would be good. He just can’t go as deep as I need him to . I hate that & I never say anything because I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

    We’ve been togethor for over 15 years, and we’ve only ever had sex with one another..so I have no one else to compare it too. I just know that when we’ve had sex and he has managed to angle himself just right, it has been amazing. Otherwise , it is ok, and there are things about it that are nice..but it is just rather routine . We start, 2 minutes later he comes, the end. Woo Hoo.

    I also wish he was about 40 pounds lighter. His tummy has gotten in the way . I also need to lose weight though, so i guess I can’t talk too loudly.

    I wish he would either stop trying to get me to cum by playing with my clitorus, or watch a video or something. He stinks at it..it ends up hurting more than anything else. I have given him tips, books, etc. He just has no luck , I guess.

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  26. PeachMom

    I love it and wish I could have more.

    We just attended a workshop hosted by Esther Perel author of “Mating in Captivity”. It was all about how security and friendship kills desire because desire is rooted in uncertainty and fear. Her book is amazing because it really helped us understand how roles change in relationships and how to find that sizzle-even after the mystery is gone. Anyway, I highly recommend the book for anyone who is open to a relationship tune-up.

    Reply
  27. Anonymous

    Sometimes I’m just going along with it and sometimes I really enjoy it. For myself, and I think for a lot of women, it depends on how I’m feeling otherwise…like if I’m emotionally okay and if I’m feeling good about myself, my looks, etc. that day. I know I’m definitely more in the mood when I’m in shape and I’ve taken the time to do my hair and put on make-up.

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  28. Anon

    I’m not the least bit interested in it anymore. All it is, is an opportunity to get pregnant again, and I’m not going there. My husband wants to get fixed but I’ve been so disinterested for so long that I don’t even know if that will help.

    Reply
  29. Katie

    I enjoy it most times but never seem to orgasm with him, though i can manage well on my own. Maybe I am just too young.

    Reply
  30. annon. 51

    Reading many of these posts I just want to cry, or hug the writers, or something. I guess this is a sensitive topic for me too. Sex is pretty sucky lately (the past 6 or 8 years). I have pretty much no desire any more due to a lot of things, anti-depressants I was on for a while, stress of going to school for my degree while working a very hard job, and now, I’ve got one working ovary remaining and it is slowwing down. Plus, I’m overweight and I hate the way I look (I am getting Y-bypass surgery in a couple months, which is great I hope, but makes me more stressed thinking how I’ll manage that recovery time and work and school. I have been married 30 years, my husband is the only man I’ve ever been with. He has always been very social and happy and upbeat generally, and I grew up just the opposite. When we were first going out we had LOTS of really good intimate passionate toe curling sex together, he was very outgoing and partied a lot, we even went to Swing parties a few times (I only was with him, but it was quite an education in erotic activities) He also had lots of ex-girlfriends he was still friendly with, which all made me feel very insecure, but I was Soooo crazy in love with him, he was so beautiful and fun and nice to me. Well, we got pregnant, cause I was naive and inexperienced and did not think to refill my pill Rx, I think he was ready to settle down anyway, but we got married, young (both age 21). I think sex was pretty good the first 5 years, even with a new baby, then we decided to have another, and got twins, and after that my sex drive dropped off a cliff, I also wanted him to get a vasectomy but he didn’t want to, I got my tubes tied without telling him first which I think hurt his feelings, but I had my own mental health to deal with. I still had sex with him pretty often, and faked it all the time with him, I hated it but I did it for him. I know he was trying to please me so I faked orgasm to please him, and gave him oral sex too, but my enthusiasm wore down and I finally just stopped having sex. I would just avoid him, go to bed after he was asleep, get up in the morning before he did, etc. This caused a lot of stress in our marriage, he got frustrated and angry, said he needed sex for his mental health, and I was his only “sexual outlet” which I did not like being labeled as, he asked me if I wanted a divorce (I didn’t) we went to marriage counseling for a while but the counselor (a man) seemed to take his side and put the burden on me. He did tell my husband to be more patient and caring and romantic without the expectation of sex, which my hubby did, but I just felt very little desire and resumed my “chore” but with less faking for my husband, I would not “talk dirty” to him anymore (I couldn’t think of anything to say) I just passively let him do whatever he wanted. He apparently liked the passive women thing. Since then we have quickie sex (for him) about twice a month. He is very frustrated I know, and I know he does himself in bed at night or in the shower, which is fine with me because that means a couple days without his sad hopeful eyes following me around. I think he understands my lack of desire, and he is being patient with me. So, we have kind of reached an equilibrium of sorts that works. He is getting older too, and slowing down in the eagerness department, so maybe we can just continue on.

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  31. lonely mom

    I do enjoy sex. 36 years old and have never enjoyed it more. 3 kids, very little sleep, but I look forward to sex with my husband. When he’s not working.

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  32. Anonymous

    I enjoy sex, but lately I just don’t want to do it. He’s not that great in bed, and has a hard time listening to me when I tell him or show him what I like. I’ve been really turned off by that, and just go along with sex for his sake.

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  33. DKWTDanymore

    I BEEN MARRIED FOR 4 YEARS,I DONT REALLY ENJOY SEX, I THINK ITS CAUSE I ONLY BEEN WITH TWO MEN. BUT SOME REASON I DONT ENJOY IT WITH MY HUSBAND BUT WHEN I THINK ABOUT WANTING IT, I WANT IT SO BAD, BUT ONCE IT HAPPENS IT GOES AWAY. I DONT KNOW IF MY HUSBAND TURN ME ON. OR ITS JUST ME. WHEN WE WERE BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND IT WAS OK, SOME REASON NOW I DONT WANT, BUT I STILL DO IT FOR HIM. BUT NOW HIS GONE FOR A VACATION FOR WORK, NOW I BEEN THINKING ABOUT SEX, BUT SOME REASON IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT TRYING IT WITH SOME ONE DIFFERENT TO SEE IF IM MISSING OUT ON SOMETHING. OR ITS JUST ME NOT WANTING SEX AT ALL. CAUSE I HAVENT GOT A ORGASM YET, EVERYONE SAY ONCE YOU GET THAT THEN YOU WOULD WANT MORE. BUT LIKE IT HAVENT HAPPEN YET. I DONT KNOW ITS CAUSE OF HIM OR ITS ME. CAUSE I DO FEEL IT KINDA OF BUT THEN LIKE WHEN I THINK IM THERE IT GOES AWAY, CAUSE HIS DONE AND HE DOESNT WANT IT ANY MORE, GOES TO STOP. THATS IT. IM THINKING ABOUT TRYING OUT WITH SOMEONE TO SEE I CAN GET ONE OR NOT. IS IT ME OR HIM? THATS THE QUESTION.

    Reply
  34. Evolving door

    I LOVE SEX ! I’m a very passionate person and very orgasmic . I believe a healthy sex life is essential to a healthy life and healthy relationship . Having good sexual communication is a important as any other kind of communication in a relationship . I’ve always had a very enjoyable sex life in my past relationships . My current relationship is a hole other story . Due to my fiances health issues and medications our sex life is almost no existent . I also worry that besides those issues that we just aren’t sexually compatable . It seems as though our sex is lacking the level of intimacy that I’ve enjoyed in past relationships . I mean dude gets the job done on a physical level but is lacking in emotional energy . Its like he doesn’t know how to “make love ” . I realize that he has some issues with intimacy and I try to be patient but I can’t help feeling frustrated and it really has caused some tention between us in an otherwise terrific relationship . I would never leave him over something like lack of or bad sex but I’m afraid it will begin to cause issues in other parts of our life together . I can only hope that like the rest of our relationship issues our sex life will get better with time . I hope I can teach him about emotional intimacy and he can grow as a person from it . I hope that if I’m patient caring and empathetic that we can over come the tension caused by our terrible sex life and become more romantically in tune with each other . Every person has a right to a happy sex life but like all good things in life don’t always come easy and sometimes must be worked hard for !

    Reply
  35. anonymous

    I hate sex with my husband.It’s all about him. The biggest problem is he looks at porn and I can’t compete with that. I don’t trust my husband, and since there is no trust, sex is horrible. I feel like a whore. I only have sex to keep a roof over my head. We have three little ones and I try my best to be a good mom for their sake. But the marriage is deeply troubled, and sex is the least of my problems.

    I thought we were friends when we married, but it turned out that I wasn’t really what he’d hoped for,and despite all his efforts to “help” me, I’ll never be what he wants…

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  36. BH

    God I love sex. Over the years it’s just got better and better and now, as I’m nearly reaching 40 it’s like, wow! I orgasm really easily and just love all of the sensations sex brings. My husband and I are are having the best sex of our lives after 20 years together and we can’t wait to get each other into bed each night! It helps that I’m finally happy with my body and myself in general, something that wasn’t the case in my twenties. Our children are also at an age where they are not demanding anymore and so life is just wonderful!

    Reply

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