Did you give up any of your dreams?

Do you feel that you gave up on any of your dreams to be living the life you are living now? Was there something else that you had always wanted to be doing but aren’t?

(remember, at Anonymousmom.com when you respond, you do NOT have to leave your name, email or link to your blog… but if you want to – feel free)

26 thoughts on “Did you give up any of your dreams?

  1. Kimberly

    I don’t know if it was a dream, but I always thought I’d get away from home and live somewhere else, but after getting pregnant fairly young and then becoming a single mom, it has only made sense to stay here where my family is. They are so much help even now 8 years later and I couldn’t imagine raising my daughter without that close bond she has with her grandparents and great grandparents.

  2. Anonymous

    I always wanted to do traveling PT work but didn’t want to leave my boyfriend… by time he was ready to go as well, there were no jobs in it.

    I always wanted to move to TN to be with the other side of my family but didn’t out of fear of hurting my mom.

    I always wanted to be a singer but haven’t really pursued it out of fear of rejection.

  3. Anonymous

    I was involved in theater during high school and college. I loved being onstage and getting applause! It was the most amazing feeling! But after I got married and started a family, I had to finish college as quickly as possible, and haven’t done anything with theater ever since. I would have loved to be a big-time actress, and get to perform all the time! But instead I sit at home and entertain my two kids all day.

  4. M

    I gave up 2 dreams when I met my husband. 1: I wanted to be a professional singer/instrumentalist and was well on my way to doing so… But I gave it up because I let my husband (then boyfriend) make me feel bad for getting “all the attention.” 2: I wanted to be a lawyer. I always pictured myself learning and knowing the ins and outs of the law, defending or prosecuting people, carrying a briefcase, being intelligent and articulate, etc. Although I did go to college, I never finished, and haven’t been able to return. Instead, I got married and became pregnant shortly afterward. So now I content myself… or try to… with singing to my son and watching Law and Order episodes. But one of these days, I’ll come closer to achieving these dreams, even if I don’t make it all the way to stardom or lawyer-land. By the way, in having these dreams, I always pictured myself single and without children! Obviously times have changed…

  5. Anonymous

    I did. It’s still a painful process that I’m working through, but I realize the need to work through and get over the pain because it interferes with the life I live now. I have no doubt that I married the right man, but his job has required much sacrifice from the two of us. What clinched the need to let go of my dream, at least for now, is that we got pregnant unexpectedly. I’m excited to be a mom (even though it happened sooner than expected) and I love my husband with my whole heart. I have to work through feeling like I gave up on my dream because fixating on what “could have been” has proven to be a major speedbump in what we are persuing for our family and home life. I might have had to sacrifice my dream, but I refuse to be in the way of my family’s happiness because of my attitude. Things change. I have to do my best to roll with it.

  6. peeking in

    I always saw myself owning horses, but my husband hates them. We have the land and I have the time but it’s not really worth the fight.

  7. Anonymous

    I was working my way up through the production department of a TV station. The job was great. I just didn’t like living where I was… and not knowing anyone… not really meshing with everyone. Then I met my husband and moved 800 miles south.

    Production jobs are hard to come by. You never hear of openings. By the time I did get word of one I was pregnant with our daughter. Unfortunately, these kinds of jobs usually have really bad/weird work hours. So, I didn’t go for it and worked a few crappy jobs I hated before staying home full time with my daughter.

    Now I feel like a failure and who will hire someone with a weird work record who’s been a SAHM for 6 years?

    I feel so lost I don’t even know what I like to do anymore. Pitiful.

  8. Anonymous

    I guess is more a regret…I walked away from the love of my life. I married my best friend, a good man and father but emotionally we don’t connect. I made the safe choice and now I miss the passion and connection I had with my true love. I recently ran into him which brought all those memories and emotions flooding back. It’s like eating the 50 year supply of hotdogs you bought at Costco when all you can think about is wanting more of that steak you had years ago…

  9. Anonymous

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one. I’ve always felt bad for wondering what it would have been like had I gone the other way. After high school I had been accepted to The Art Institute of Chicago. But, a month after I graduated, I found out I was pregnant. So, I didn’t go (plus I never told anyone I was accepted and was going). I moved in with my now husband and we were planning to raise our family. Unfortunately our baby died, but I stayed anyway. Many years later we have children and I work part time in a bakery. Way far from where I had planned on being at my age. I’m still trying to accept that “This is my life.” It’s a good life, just not the one I’d hoped for 🙁

  10. loser

    I gave up all my dreams when i married and became a mom. at the time i thought i would be ok with it and for many years i was. my oldest 2 are now teenagers and ignore or argue with me most of the time. my husband is always working and being a stay at home mom just isnt as much fun as it use to be.

  11. DREAMS?

    I have almost forgot what dreams are. I can’t believe that I have been with my husband for over 6 years and have two kids. When I first found out I was pregnant with my daughter I was ready to go to Africa to do AIDS research. I guess I will not be doing that for a really long time. I would never trade my kids for anything now but I miss freedom. I guess I have never been able to fulfil any dreams because I have been tied down since I was 18 years old. I am only 24 and I want to be able to live my life to the fullest. I Love my kids like no other but there are days when I wonder if I will ever be able to do what I love. I want to be able to travel and get around the world. I think there should be a birth control for girls so they cannot get pregnant until they are at least 25 or 30 years old so they can go and do as much as they want.

  12. Anonymous

    I was training in london to be a performing artist. I met my husband whilst travelling. I emigrated and we now live in a town with no professional theatre company and no drama school. I asked him to move to another city in his country where they have the national drama school so i could continue my studies. He won’t do that for me, even after i moved half way around the world to be with him, leaving my friends and family. Now the only thing i can do is be a wife, all my years of hard work to be a wife, I have thought of leaving him, but I just love him so much.

    i know that whatever I do my life will be full of regret, regret for my lost dreams and lost career if i stay with him or regret of my lost love if i follow my dreams.

  13. no name

    Given up dreams? Of course.. I look around everyday at my house and life and see the things i never wanted. i walk around the antique malls and art galleries and imagine the life i would’ve had. I see clothes and styles and things i would love to wear and style, but it’s not the expected out of me, because i’ve tried to fit in everywhere i’ve gone. I’ve never lived alone, or had to provide for myself. I have a husband I’m gaga over… but i’m not top priority. He goes to work, comes home, sits at computer. I have to smile and be supportive while he refuses to pursue a high school diploma, and complains about work. Heaven forbid that I haven’t spoken or seen another human being my age in over 2 weeks, and am dying for any attention or look of appreciation.

    My life now? Mother of 3, at home mom, no one. I’ve desappeared, friends haven’t called or stopped by in 3 years….

    But that’s being a mom, and you are expected to give up everything in your life for your kids and husband, yet if you complain or cry out in any way it’s concidered TABOO and you are looked at like the worse person on the planet.

  14. languishing

    I got married too young, then accidentally got pregnant. We’re of course split and dislike one another. I’m living in a state I hate in order to have my kids half the time because his mom has money for lawyers and I don’t. If we went to court he’d win. I want to move to New Zealand at the end of the year to start medical school. There’s no way I’ll get primary custody but I’m sure I can get 3 months per year with the kids during their summer break. But I feel guilty for wanting to pursue my dream. I’ve always wanted to leave the state I live in, and America in general. I’ve always wanted to go to medical school and it’s frankly much easier to do that in New Zealand. Plus, I’m in love with someone in NZ. I won’t see him very often the first year while I’m incredibly busy with the roughest year of med school anyway; still, he’s my love.. But I feel a pit in my stomach everytime I think about being away from my kids again (I deployed for 15 months once while I was in the Army.)

    I kind of feel like my options are to either give up any hope of happiness and stick around just to ensure my kids see me every week, postpone my life for another decade… or I give up hope of a normal relationship with my kids. Surely everyone and their brother will call me the worst mother on the planet for considering following my dream. I’m incredibly depressed.

  15. gitriteordytryin

    It’s a shame that, for the most part, you have to sacrifice doing what you love in order to “pay the bills”. I used to love making music but once I had to pay rent and bills and started a family of my own it was either make music or make money. Some might argue that I should have made money making music but the reality is that it takes time to become a full-time musician that makes enough to cover all of his/her needs. The Electric and Gas companies,etc. don’t give a hoot that your not an established artist yet, they want their money NOW! So we somehow slip into this zombie like state and grunt our way through life wishing it was different then before you know it your pushing forty and wondering if it was really worth sacrificing your dreams and your livelihood all for a measley buck and you still are wondering if you will be able to pay the mortgage this month. Life Sucks!

  16. Doesntmatter

    While everyone told me I shouldn’t marry my husband I did it anyway. When he’s nice I feel amazing. I got shoved around for the 1st 3 years of our marriage and was made to feel like it was my fault. I tried leaving several times with no luck. I loved him too much. Although we went through some help and the physical abuse stopped…the verbal still pops up from time to time. I’m 14 weeks pregnant with our 1st and my husband has been amazing. But every now and then when he gets mad I’m almost positive things will just go back to him not caring about me once the baby is born. I’m afraid I fell right into the life my annoying mother’s voice keeps telling me I should have ran from years ago. I’ve always been told I have a beautiful voice and play the piano with great ease and emotion. My husband used to love my singing and called me his star. Now my songs just annoy him and its like the whole world sees me, but he doesn’t. I sing for him. Don’t ask me why. I can’t even answer that easily anymore. My primary role will be mom when my little bug is born…but I can’t hide that pain of knowing I’ve given up my dreams, and my talent because the man I married doesn’t care about me anymore.

  17. Robyn

    I came across this site while searching for advice. I’m in the opposite situation. I am a singer/songwriter working with an independent record label. I feel like quitting and going back to being a high school teacher. I have not been able to pay my rent, bills, etc. for quite a while. I have not made a buck in five years and I feel like I am wasting my life to pursue this dream. I don’t feel passionate about being a singer anymore even though my fans love me. I keep putting off a love life even though I have found my soulmate (he is patiently waiting on me) and now I just want to go back to the life I knew before entering the music industry. I’m not a mom yet but I want to be.

  18. Luna

    Yes… And no. I always wanted to pursue a career in law and create music or be in a band. However, when I was younger I always always pictured myself wanting to be a mom. Of course, the reality is a lot harder than the imagined life u thought you’d have when you were younger. Fortunately, I have a lot of support and I was able to go back to school to pursue my law career, but my music dreams won’t be accomplished… at least any time soon.

  19. Renne

    These stories bring me to tears. Married to a wonderful man for 15 years. I gave up my friends & family to move away with him. I stood by him through his job/career changes and his schooling while I was a stay home mom. I always had a passion for art an photography. I gave that dream up long ago. I totally lost myself in his & my kids’ lives, I just found out I don’t have one of my own anymore. I wouldn’t give up my family for anything, but I wish I would have taken the time for myself to do the things I always wanted. Now I don’t know what I like to do anymore. No passion, just depression

  20. Anonymous

    Ever since I was 8 years old, I had been a competitive figure skater. I spent just about every second of my life training, aiming to one day go to nationals and qualify for the olympics. I sacrificed my entire childhood just to even get a step closer to my wildest dreams. In fact, my family sacrificed an unbelievable amount of money and time, and made investments that are astonishing. I trained with the best coaches on the east coach, and perhaps even the entire nation. I won titles and championships, and everything seemed to be going great for me. My entire future was lined up and success was almost a guarantee.

    When I was a freshman in high school, I decided that I might want to try out for the lacrosse team. After all, colleges look for extra curricular activities at your high school. I debated for hours and hours whether or not I was going to try out, and eventually came to the decision to try out. I promised myself that I would still put figure skating first, but once I made the lacrosse team and realized the dedication that was needed to play in a team sport, my figure skating dreams all started to blur. I didn’t skate for 3 months, and I went through depression and ultimately wanted to kill myself. Fortunately, I didn’t, but I faced a stage that I pray no 14 year old will ever have to go through. Life was meaningless, and I was desperate to go back a few months and regain my figure skating abilities. After lacrosse ended, I finally went back to the figure skating rink. I had lost all of my skills, and could barely stroke around. My life was changed forever, and I could not help but think that my entire childhood, thousands or dollars, and my parents’ lives were wasted on my dream which was eventually thrown away.

    To this day, giving up figure skating for lacrosse, a sport that I had never even played until tryouts, is without a doubt my biggest regret ever. I am not trying to convince you to never give up on your dreams, because most people do; instead, I am trying to tell you to never give up on your dreams if they are so close that you can practically touch them. Learn from my mistakes, because I will forever regret giving up on figure skating, and knowing that I could have achieved my dreams.

  21. Boo2aGoose

    Some dreams are gone because I burned them myself out of fear. I had wanted to go to design school. I love art. But I didn’t go because I didn’t have a strong support system. Nobody was going to help me pay or be an emotional support. So I torched that dream. I was too scared to be on my own.

    Another dream was to be in a band. Just me and two guys. But I can’t sing well, even though I studied voice in college and wrote lyrics. The band dream was more of a need to feel like I belonged somewhere. The band would be my family.

    In high school, my friends always said I’d be a great writer, but over 20 years later, I have nothing published. That old boogieman, fear, haunts me. I write for my own pleasure, but I share it with no one. I don’t even dare tell my husband, because when I did tell him, he started nagging me to share–even when I was uncomfortable with it–or nagged me to write everyday, whether I wanted to or not.

    I always thought that I’d have a marriage where my husband and I would be friends. Well, I married the wrong man. I made my choice–at the time I felt that I was making the right choice–but it turned out so hopelessly wrong. I’ve been trodden down for so long, I don’t have the strength to fight back. My whole life has been dreams unrealized. I take full responsiblity for my mistakes, but it would be nice to at least have a friend.

  22. Anonymous

    I wanted to be a photographer but had my daughter at 19. I wish I finished college because I’m 25 and looking to reenter the workforce and I was turned down for a simple sales position at Belks. How pathetic. I’ll take whatever job I can get whether it’s scrhbbing toilets or flipping burgers. I have no time for dreams. Dreams don’t pay the bills.

  23. Anonymous

    I’m trying to figure out how to accept my decision to walk away from my life long dream for the man I love. I have wanted to move to Florida since I was a little girl. I really didn’t have much of a childhood due to a drug addicted father, paranoid schizophrenic mother and older brother that sought out attention by getting in trouble. I was the common sense and glue of the family. By the time I was 14, I was living on my own, renting a room at a boarding house. I got pregnant when I was 18, married at 19 and had my second son when I was 20. 3 years ago, life finally started working in my favor. I was with my boyfriend for 7 years and got laid off. I took the opportunity to relocate to Florida as a single mom. It was tough at first, but I found an amazing job working with truly amazing people. I was about to get my third promotion in 2 years when I realized the long distance relationship (1300 miles) with my boyfriend of 9 years wasn’t going to work anymore. I was ready to end it. Then he proposed. It changed my world. We agreed I’dove back home and we’d put the house on the market. Once it was sold, we’d go back. It didn’t take long after we got married for me realize I’m stuck here again. My dreams that I had finally achieved are gone for good. I’ve been back for over a year and just recently found a job worth keeping, still not where I want to be. I love my husband, but he is the only thing positive I have in my life now that I’m back. I’m miserable ALL the time. I’m bitter and don’t know how to get past it. I went from riding my bike for ten minutes to be at the beach watching dolphins and herons play to needing three layers of clothes to walk outside to my car. It’s nice to know I’m not alone, but I wish I knew how to get past it and find happiness in my life again. Btw, my sons are moved out now. My oldest finished college and my toughest is going into the marine corps next year.

  24. Anonymous

    I know this is late.

    I always dreamed of traveling the world. I went to Africa and central America in college and was determined to do the Peace Corps after college. I met my now-husband my freshman year of college. After being friends with him and having a crush on him, we started dating the day we graduated college. I was so afraid he wouldn’t wait for me if I went to into the PC. I casually asked him and he wasn’t all that interested in joining up, so I withdrew all my applications to the PC and various teaching abroad programs (he didn’t know I applied).

    I have always been an independent person and dreamed of adventure. I am now married, in the process of buying a house and am 3 months pregnant. And I’m not happy.

  25. A Mom

    My first love, Who is now my husband, was always the firs person I went to when I found something I would love to do with my life. If it was anything that would keep me away from him any length of time he would say no or would tell me he wouldn’t wait for me. I gave up on all my dreams of leaving this shit hole of a town where stupid people are abundant and smart people get out of town fast. I thought I was one of the smart ones till I met him. Now I realize I gave up everything to make him happy. I will never be able to do any of those things now. I am a mom with responsibility. I will teach my son to not follow my footsteps. To find what makes him happy and what makes him feel whole. I can’t fix my life but I can help him with his!


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