How do you discipline your child when they have misbehaved?
November 4th, 2008
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How do you discipline your child when they have misbehaved? Is it the same for each child or do you discipline them differently?17 Responses to “How do you discipline your child when they have misbehaved?”
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I yell but wish I didn’t. Usually time out. Spanking as a last resort. I watched and episode of 17 and pregnant again with the Duggar family and watched how Mom very quietly disciplined one of the younger daughters. I’m trying to do that more but it’s not easy. I’ve already taught my younger 2 yelling. They don’t understand it’s not ok to yell at Mommy and Daddy. It shouldn’t be ok for me to yell either, though.
I yell which Im trying to stop to, I hate it and feel horrible but I make them clean when they really get on my nerves.
I try not to yell, but, I can’t stop. My daughter just doesn’t seem to listen if I don’t. I will swat her bottom only as a last resort.
My oldest (6) is very verbal, I only have to raise my voice and he gets right on it.
My middle (3) is very physical so I usually have to pop him on the butt to get results.
The youngest (1) … I don’t know yet. LOL He’s too young.
I dod tend to yell more that I like at all of them, but I’m working on that.
I yell alot and I hate it! I sometimes spank (I have 4 kids) but spanking usually gets me nowhere fast. I have tried time outs and all kinds of stuff. I am really at a loss. They are getting older and my husband is away, I feel like they are beginning to overtake me. I am very overwhelmed sometimes. I don’t know what to do!!
I’m overwhelmed too and feel they are overtaking me. (I have 3 children ages 7, 6 and 5). I’m also at a loss at what to do. I’ve tried yelling, being calm, ignoring the bad behavior and rewarding for being good, time-outs, charts and even family counceling-never spanked. Has anyone out there ever try the child displine called The Total Transformation? Just wondering if it works to actually change a child’s behavior? I do like the “Super-Nanny” technique, but find it is very difficult to stick with day to day. I find most parents are just too overwhelmed these days. How can we help our children appreciate what they have and not expect more and more?
I disciplince both of my kids the same. I smack their butts and put them in the corner for their age, then i talk to them about what they did wrong.
My boyfriend has a 11 year old girl. She can be very demanding, sometimes needy “I think because she’s an only child”. She gets mouthy with me quite frequently, but she also talks aggressively most other times, so I can’t tell when she is being mouthy or talking agressively. Most times I talk firmly and not allow goodies when she expects them, other times I try to reason with her as she is maturing. But when she doesn’t listen or learn her lesson, I have to tell her daddy to get results. She thinks I tell him everything she does wrong, or about all our misunderstandings, but, I don’t!
Today, I yelled at her and I think I did it before. Is there a better way to discapline her, since her father allows me to do. I don’t like yelling at her.
My issue is, that I yelled at her pretty bad and I have once before and it was because of a possible missunderstanding. But, when she is talking back or aggressive, is it ok to yell at her or is there a better way to talk to her?
I spank, but I really dont like to. its not working anyway…Im running out of options. corners dont work….time outs dont work…..talking dont work either
The way I discipline my children depends on their age and issue. I set very specific boundaries and then I make sure I follow through. For example, if my son has chores to do afterschool but “forgets” to do them, he receives extra chores. He can’t do anything fun until the chores are done. I don’t have to yell or get mad, I just keep adding more chores. At 11 years old, he now rarely forgets to do his chores.
I have high expectations about respect, tone of voice and attitude. There is one “do over” if a question or comment is made with a disrespectful tone and if it isn’t done with respect there are consequences. Usually they don’t get what they are asking for no matter what…..even if I would have said yes if the tone was joyful. I want them to understand that we respect each other above all else.
I always take age into consideration and make a decision if there needs to be more training or communication instead of consequences. Consistancy and follow through are key!!! Parenting is a lot of work but the rewards are worth the time and energy. I love being around my kids. There ages are 11, 9 and 6.
There are some great books out there that I’ve been reading lately. Screamfree Parenting and Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids (or Children). They are really about a different parenting paradigm. It is really hard to do things differently and stay calm, but I am trying. It’s about working to meet everyone’s needs, not just the parent’s or just the child’s. It’s about respect and cooperation and not just trying to externally force them to behave the way we want them to, but to teach them responsibility for their actions. They’re books worth checking out.
The most important part of it is to talk with the kids properly and work out the situation together. Most of the time I give them extra jobs or ground them from something they want to do. I think putting my kids to work when they’ve done something wrong teaches them proper discipline and restraint, time outs and grounding just don’t cut it when they get older.
For some things though I think you just need to spank them. Certainly not often, but sometimes there’s no other way even if it is politically incorrect these days. For example, when I found out my daughter was bullying another girl I gave her the belting of her life and it nipped that bullying phase right in the bud like nothing else could.
My son is a little younger but there are times when he certainly gets into things that he shouldn’t. I just wrote on my blog about our frustrations with the water cooler actually!
I try not to yell because I don’t want him to listen to me out of fear. It’s usually a LOT of repetition. And even more patience. Even though he’s onle 19 months, I try to explain to him why he can’t do certain things. “You can’t run off the grass cuz you’ll get hurt and mommy loves you and doesn’t want to you to get hurt.”
Biggest thing I’ve learned: pick your battles. If he’s not hurting himself or anyone else then it’s not a big deal. For example: he’s currently taking the VHS movies out of their cases. It’s not hurting anyone and in a little while he can hel pme put them back in the case.
This generation is horrible…
In the warm portion of the year, my girls are too tired to misbehave (there’s always a lot of work to do around here and i make them do their share). Winter…oooohhhh! Sometimes a look does the job. At times i do yell then guilt trip over it later. If we’re out in public then we’ll go home and the guilty party will have a misserable night (i use the cold-shoulder until they get the point), then they’ll hear it from my husband when they fess up to him about what they’ve done. What really works is finding what they like and taking that away. For my oldest, that’s video games and spend the night trips. On the youngest, just knowing that Mama is mad at her (and won’t sit on the sofa hugging on her while she screams) does the job. At first they get louder and meaner but it does break them. Then it’s time for a little talk and some snuggling. Works like a charm!
I spank my children. I have tried corner time, putting them in theyr room and even talking to then in a firm voice, but they just don’t listen or mehave. After they were given a spanking they are well behaved.
My kids are 10 and my husband and I have never had to spank them or hit them in any way. Part of that may be luck but I think part of that is following through with consequences. Now I do yell from time to time but as far as discipline goes, we’ve always warned them what the consequence will be for an action and then followed through. These days consequences are things like no tv or no video games, etc., for a certain period of time, or not going to a friend’s house, etc. My husband and I; however, were both spanked/hit as children. Neither of us resent our parents in any way and we both know they love us like crazy and would do anything for us. They did the best they could with us and we’re just fine, no issues or anything, but for us, we just never felt the need to spank our kids and fortunately our children have responded well to our form of discipline.