Do you have a secret crush on someone?
October 14th, 2008
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Do you have a secret crush on someone? Is it someone you see often?114 Responses to “Do you have a secret crush on someone?”
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It’s not a secret. I have a huge crush on my tattoo artist. My husband knows….the man is hot….I would never act on anything but crushes are fun.
I have for the past 15 years on a friend, my husband knows. I was always too scared of rejection to say anything and then I found out he didn’t want to have kids, I did (how do you compromise on that?). Then I met my husband, who is quite a bit older than me. So we joke that my crush will be my second husband, after the kids grow up and my ‘old fart’ kicks the bucket. But just this last weekend I went to visit my crush - we still keep in touch - and … well … the feeling just wasn’t there. At least not like before. I mean, he is still yummy and all that, but … all I wanted was to be with my husband (he is working out of state and I won’t see him until Christmas) and I wish my crush would grow up already, he seems to have the ‘Peter Pan’ syndrome. I don’t know maybe I’ve outgrown him.
Well I have a crush on a close friend of mine she is sexy, beautiful and Im not sure if shes into woman because Im afraid to act on anything. But i would love to kiss her, but I would never try anything. She doesnt seem to be into woman at all….. It would be my first time….
Yes. An ex boyfriend contacted me 6 months ago on email and we have been talking ever since. Sometimes I feel guilty, like I’m betraying my husband, but then other times I remember that I’ve told my husband what I need from him emotionally and physically and he doesn’t try, doesn’t change, doesn’t give me what I need. So I feel like I’ve been up front with him in that respect. My ex gives my the conversation, the affirmation, and the stimulation I need. We’ve been on and off for 21 years. I wonder if he is the man I was supposed to marry. I feel very lucky though that he lives far away, because we are like magnets - if we were any closer there would be trouble!
I have a crush on my husband’s old college roomate (and I think he’s had a crush on me too). My husband knows but it isn’t anything we talk about. I think my husband is insecure about it all even though neither of us would act on anything. We joke though that if my husband dies I’m going to marry my crush.
For a while I did. To a certain extent I still do. He is related to my husband , and I thought perhaps it was simply because of that .. hormones or something …
I spoke to him about it finally..the crush,not my husband ..and got things out in the open. I realized he had no interest in me. Tha hurt, but I was also glad.
I think he is a very arrogant person , yet I still feel a bit of a physical attraction him. I almost had sex with him ( long before my husband and I were togethor ) and so I do remember being intimate with him… I know he is better endowed than my husband..
I try not to think about him anymore, really. It does me no good.
ok this is weird, but a while ago I had a crush on one of my religious leaders. I would find myself staring @ him at church & wondering what he sees in his wife. I decided it was just purely physical - he’s pretty good looking. & I prayed to get over it. :S
Yes, I have a crush on someone. I recently got back in touch with an old boyfriend I had in 1991 when I was in the Army. We started e-mailing and then texting and then talking on the phone almost everyday. He is single, never been married. I have been married for 9 years. Just hearing my old b/f voice brings back so many good memories. My husband would be heartbroken if he knew I was secretly talking to this guy. I can’t help but be attracted to him. I would never act on it, but its nice to have someone to flirt with.
i have a crush on my ex husband and i also
hang out with him. my husband is going to be really sad if he finds it out.
Yes I do have a crush on someone I am not married but my other half and I have been together for 6 years and has know eachother for about 15 to 17 yrs and we have 2 kids. but just recently I got back in contact with an ex that I was with before my other half now and all of the feelings came back!! this is the first time I have looked at someone else in that way since I have been with my other half, about 8 months ago he told me he just doesn’t want to say I Love You anymore!!! and he hasn’t and that hurts and it has also pushed me away!! and this ex gives me what I want not physical cause I am in the states and he is in Spain so we just talk over the net. but it feels soooooo good to have someone show me attention and the feeling of being wanted.. But the upsetting part is it will never be this the ex again. for one he is gone for another 2 years and I have 2 kids that I dont expect any man to accept, I don’t think he wants me the way I want him, he sends me mixed messages but I just think it is harmless flirting like we use to do in high school well on his part anyway!! I do plan on leaving my other half it has been a long time coming. WOW I feel so much better now that I got it out! Thanks
I recently quit a career job to follow my dream of opening a business of my own. It’s been a totally different feeling being able to talk to normal patrons of my business. Well, a patron (regular) started coming in and talking to me, he’s about 3 years older than me. I am married and have been for a year now, but been with my husband for 6 years total. I love my husband but he can be so selfish and not very fulfilling of my needs. So, after about four months, I have a crush on this guy that comes into my shop. He’s super sweet, and have really pretty brown eyes. He constantly takes menus and advertisments from my business to put up in the one that he manages. So, he refers people all the time. I would never cheat on my husband, I love him to death…. but sometimes I miss the single days.
I have for the past 10 years had a huge crush on one of my husbands friends. My husband, like all other men, asked me for a 3 some with another woman to spice up our marriage (for the upteenth time). This time, I said how about another man? He said no…way.. The door swings both ways I told him. I said why should you have two women if I can’t have two men? He said he would agree to do a menage a tois with another man if I would then recipocate! Well I selected his friend and long story short. It was wonderful. I did things with two men I never thought I could. But afterwards. The curiosity was gone. I no longer have a crush on his friend. I guess it was a sexual thing. It was a great experience I would do again. (I have now only been with 3 men in my life!!) I am not looking forward to fulfilling my husbands fantasy. I am a very jealous and I think I will lose it when I see him enjoying another woman. I will let you know how it goes!!
I have a few crushes. I haven’t had many boyfriends because, well, I never chased after the men I was interested or the men that were interested. I always told myself “If they really want me, they will come get me!” And no one ever does anymore. I feel so lonely. So I have a few crushes. Now I have a crush on a guy I met at a video store, he works at a mall I go to a lot. I go in there sometimes [rarely] when my girlfriends throw me inside. And we make small talk and smile. Another crush is the best friend of my previous crush from high-school. He seems interested in me, but I tend to over-think things and day-dream too much. So when I have a crush I plan out romance, sex, dates, our fights, lives and end it in my mind. Afterwards, I’m usually over them because in my mind I’ve dated them or been through everything with them. It’s pathetic, I realize this now that I’m actually typing it out loud. That’s all. Hopeless dreams of a lonely woman who awaits her prince to come fetch her like in the fairy tales I was read as a girl.
I have a huge crush on a woman I work with. I don’t know what to do. We are both gay. I’m out, she’s not, and I just recently found out she has a partner as well. I don’t know how long they’ve been together but my partner and I have been together for 8 years and have beautiful 6 year old twin daughters. I don’t know that it will ever go past this, but I think about her *all* the time. It’s tearing me up. I know if I ever acted on anything it would destroy both our relationships. I love my partner but I just can’t understand why I can’t get this woman out of my head.
I have a crush on a guy from high school. He is single and not someone I would normally have been interested in dating. He was a nerd. However, as a grown woman I see that he is smart and very funny. I wish I could tell him, but I don’t think he would be interested in me and I can’t bare the rejection or the thought that my humiliation might be broadcast to other former classmates. He is really amazing. I love the way his mind works. He has put on a little weight since school, but I think he looks great (better)! He’s adorable! Oh, I just can’t get him off my mind and I never act like this about anyone. This is terrible…like high school all over again!
I just went to my sister’s house for Christmas and I have a huge crush on her new next door neighbor. I am married (20 years with two kids) but he and the kids are visiting his family for the holidays so I visited my sister for Christmas (she lives an hour away). My sister and her husband invited her single neighbor over and oh my god, he is so cute! He and I work in the same industry so we had something in common, he is only 6 years younger than me and is doing well for himself. My husband and I haven’t been getting along for many years now and I have considered leaving him. I have noticed other attractive men but did not spark with any of them and because I am married, I have never even given them all a second thought. However, with this guy, I can’t get him off my mind. Plus I know every time I visit my sister, I am going to want to run into him. OMG, I know I just feel neglected in my marriage but I really wanted to kiss him the other day (and if I am honest, I would have loved to do more!)
i have a crush on my boss and one of my coworker’s husband. My boss is female and she is a friend of mine and my fiance’s. I am a female also. I’m kinda messed up a little bit.
I have a huge crush on my boss!!! I’m married and he is married, to one of my best friends. It’s the worst…I would never act on it, but I can’t get him out of my head. AHHH!!
My married boss (there’s a double-whammy right there). Of course the chemistry between us is incredible and I think he feels the same about me. I am not sure if he knows but wow, is this frustrating as hell!
love him but i am scared to tell him
I am a married woman with the hugest crush on one of my husbands friends. I have always been a faithful wife and never thought of another guy this way. The when my husband became friends with this guy- I have completly gone gaga! When his friend and I are together in the same room there is this crazy chemistry bewteen us. Our eyes meet and my stomach just does back flips. We have had some serious eye sex and I feel so guilty! But I can not get him out of my mind. Some of our friends can see it too and have actually called me on it. What am I to do?? I sometimes wonder if I married the right guy- I seriously just wish that I could be with this guy for a night & then be done with it….I hate crushes- I feel like a teenager again!!
I have been working in a place for few year. I am married with children. Since last year I have a crush on a person who works with me. We only say hello to each other but we have very strong eye contact. I feel a lot for him. I know that he feels in the same way. We never spoke. I always tried to avoid him because I am married. I did not know he was married too, until I saw his wedding picture at work. It was a shock. I DO NOT know if I could avoid the attraction but now it is too late. hE IS VERY RESERVED AND CAUTIOUS, but I know he has a crush on me too. More I tried to avoid him and more I think about me. The feelings I feel for him are unreal. I would like to talk to him but the door is not open.I believe we both knwow that if we start talking it could lead to an affair. Why did he come into my life? I want him.
I have a crush on my neighbor who is rich and beautiful! I googled him and realized just how successful he really is and also realized that I would never have a chance. Funny thing is that everytime we walk by each other or drive by each other we stare at each other. I never smile or say hi;Iam too scared. But I wonder does he think I am attractive and that is why he stares at me or am I just a dreamer?!
I have a huge cruch on my neighnor. I am married with kids. He is very kind and caring. I try to get him out of my mind, but I can’t. He is everything I want in my husband.
My brother would probably bless me out if he knew about my secret for his friend/ex-classmate. I have had the longest crush over this man sever since the seventh grade( He was in the 9th grade). It has been 20 years since I graduated from high school, but we have blog where his school’s alumni(we didn’t attend the same high school) are able to make constant contact with. Still tall , dark , quite handsome( his pretty eyes, my, oh ,my, those eyes.)and a stunning personality—that is why he so freaking sexy!
There is only one disadvantage to this: his marriage. I would never break up anybody’s marriage. I could be wrong, but his wife has a great man. I envy her right now, but I continue to wish them much marital prosperity.
i have a crush on this guy at work he is five years older than me. im single but he is divorced with 2 kids, im not sure if he is married again or dating i just cant seem to ask him. He is so cute. He talks to me sometimes but i dont know if he likes me
I’ve had a crush on a woman I’ve work with for almost three years. I’ve been with my partner for 7 yrs and she knows I have or have had a crush on this woman. She told me to go for it. Three problems with that, don’t know if she’s into women, she’s a coworker, and even with my partner’s okay I would feel like I’m cheating.
I am crushing on someone 10+ years younger than me. He is sweet, caring, funny, French-Canadian, and he already has a girlfriend. We connect. I feel ashamed because I know I am too old for this, and it would never work with us in reality. I had to suspend the account I met him on so I don’t get the urge to talk to him. Plus, I get jealous when I know he is going to see his girlfriend, and he has started feeling bad for having to say he has to go when we’re chatting. I have told him that he shouldn’t feel guilty, he dosen’t owe me anything and he says ok. I told him that we have to stop chatting and he didn’t want to do it. I will have to be the one who initiates putting an end to it. I just get sad. I wish he were my husband actually. There is one person in my life that I don’t regret having and I never will. I just wonder what it would be like to be his and to look into his beautiful blue eyes and for us to build a life together. I am a woman, but I am too old for this. It just makes me sad.
I know I am truly in love with my friend she’s older then I am. We spend time together all the time, but I don’t know if she feels the same way about me. Shes affectionate and likes to be caressed and be hugged, but at times I get mixed signals too. I don’t want to say anything for fear of loosing our friendship or her feeling awkward around me. I just can’t fight the feelings I have when I’m with her. How do you tell someone you love them and want to be with them without dropping your heart if they don’t feel the same? We have a close intimate relationship as far as communication, so why am I scared? Cupids got me good this time!
I’m a women in love with another women! There I said it! Thank you Secret crush I’ve been holding it in all this time!
have a huge crush on my husbands boss. Ive met him twice over the last year but wow he makes my mind wander.
I love my good friend and I think he’s my Mr. Right. Being with him makes me feel very comfortable and happy. The feel is so right when we both spending time together. He knew I like him, but he wants to concentrate on his career, and needs time to let us know more about each other before any decision is make. Funny thing is, I knew him for 23 years, but I fall for him less then 2 months. I miss him so much and I can’t get him out of my head.
Oh thank goodness this appears to be a ‘normal’ phenomenon! My married crush has been tearing me apart; it’s been ongoing for around 6 months, but finally came to a head last week when my Crush and I admitted our mutual lust! I have been married 1 and a half years (together 6 and a half) and never before have I felt this way about any other guy. My Crush is physically and mentally one of the sexist guys I’ve ever met: (very) tall, dark, handsome with the most amazing eyes, intelligent, witty, humorous… We spoke on the phone; he was very drunk, but told me how hot I am, how sexy, about what he wanted to do to me! I’ve NEVER had conversations like that with ANYONE ever, not even my husband. For the first time in a long time I felt attractive and wanted. To illustrate, I asked my husband this morning if he thought I was sexy; he said ‘Yeah… I suppose so… but I’m busy at the moment’ and went back to what he was doing on the computer. Is there any wonder this other guy holds my interest so keenly?
Both my Crush and I have decided that there is too much at stake to pursue anything, but my heart beats faster every time I think about him! I keep thinking about whether one kiss would get him out of my system and help me to move on, but I know he’s too nice a guy and too practical to allow this to happen. So meanwhile, I am in agony — eaten up simultaneously with guilt and sexual longing. How does one move on from this? I keep looking at my husband, looking for a spark of excitement. He’s a good, caring man, a great friend…and I do love him. I really do. Just…he doesn’t seem to fancy me anymore, I don’t seem to turn him on, no matter how much effort I make. For someone else to come along and say how attractive he finds me and how I turn him on, is it any surprise I’ve reacted like this? The whole situation is a huge mess for me. My Crush seems to be acting very rationally, perhaps even regretting his ‘confession’. But when we’re out together (we’re in the same group of friends) and I catch his gaze for a second longer than I ought, he doesn’t look away. When my hand catches his, he doesn’t flinch. Argh argh argh! I’m getting too much of a kick from the flirting, but agonise over the immoral nature of it all! It’s making me depressed, to the extent that even my female best friend knows something’s wrong. Is there a simple cure? My Crush says that this lust will fade with time, and we’ll both be able to move on. Damn men with their practical ways of going on, and their ability to keep their emotions in check. I’m just too curious to kiss him and know what it feels like. Is this really wrong? Am I a terrible person? Help!! (I can already hear Crush’s voice saying, ‘No, we can’t do that’) All I want him to do is grab me, kiss me passionately, and then for us both to walk away. Is this too idealised?
I have a crush on a guy I work with. He’s 31 and I’m 21 and I feel like it would never work out. We are really good friends though. We work in a department store and it seems like everytime we both turned around we saw each other. He realized it too. and aknwoledged it.
He recently just started calling me his sidekick which made me happy. Then today i wore lovespell which apparently is his favorite perfume. he told me he was gonna be hovering around me and that the scent was his weakness. So I will definitely be wearing that from now on 
I tried not to crush on him but I feel like I think about him all the time and get butterflies everytime i see him. I giggle at everything funny he says. typical crush feeling. the reason I dont think it will work is cause hes 10 years older than me. But I’m having fun crushing on him right now. I really want to hang out with him though I hope we can in the near future. <3
Ohhh, I have a crush. There was this guy in one of my graduate school classes last semester. I didn’t even notice him at first. He’s kina nerdy. Then about halfway through the semester he wrote this story that was really funny and cool. I thought, “wow, I bet this guy would be really fun to hang out with.” Then like a week later my fiance broke up with me, completely out of the blue. So of course I was completely devastated and didn’t notice anything for the next several weeks. I could barely drag myself out of bed to go to class. And then one night we were having a class discussion and he just came out with this comment that was so hilarious and completely on-point. Suddenly I noticed that he was really kinda hot. Of course I was too chicken to do anything about it. Did some myspace stalking, just to find out some info, and it turns out he has a girlfriend. Oh, well, I thought. The semester ended and I thought I’d probably never see him again. Then the other day I was in the shopping center near my apartment. I was just going to the grocery store. I walked past the little comic book store that’s in there. I just glanced in the window, and I saw him. Turns out he works there. Five minutes from my house. So now I’m telling myself not to go up there and try to catch another glimpse of him. He has a girlfried, and he’d probably never be interested in me even so, and I realize that this whole thing is just me fixating on him because I’m lonely and still feeling kinda sad and rejected about my fiance. But damn….I can’t get this guy out of my head. He’s cute and snarky and brainy and just the right combo of nerdy and edgy…exactly the type I go for. Oh, well. Hopefully it’ll pass soon. I just wish I could act on my attraction because it’s pretty intense, especially consiering I don’t really know the guy.
Recenlty, my first real cruch contacted me. i had a huge cruch on him for years. I don’t think I was in love with him, but I had very strong feelings for him. He admitted he liked me for years, but scared to do anything. We did hook up a couple of times, but he just ended up ignoring me after that happened. He would also make me feel like a a**hole and it felt like I was a joke among his friends. I am married now and have forgotten about him. I think I had him in the back of my head for years cause as soon as he admitted his feelings, I had butterflies in my stomach. I cannot get him out of my head and it is driving me crazy. We have been talking online and texting. We are planning to meet up, but I am nervous of what may happen. There is a part of me that wants to be intimate with him, but I just don’t want to hurt my husband. My marriage is on the rocks. My husband never touches me or supports me. I know being married doesn’t mean 24/7 romance and support, but a person should not feel lonely in a marriage as I do. I really needed to get this off of my chest as I am going to explode. I cannot tell anyone about this.
To ‘confused’ (post March 23, 2009 10:19 am),
Please think very carefully before you act on your crush. It could devastate so many people, not least yourself. I say this because as the poster on March 2, I acted on my crush and have consequently unleashed a world of pain and heartache. Last Friday, my husband found out that things had happened with my crush (who, unfortunately, is also his work colleague). He is (quite astonishingly) prepared to forgive my indiscretions and work towards a better marriage. I truly don’t deserve such understanding, and it’s killing me that I’ve hurt him so badly. Not only that, but our families and friends are all aware of what I did. They will always eye me up suspiciously, waiting for me to fall again. Even if they deny it, it’s true. So much has changed.
I too felt lonely in my marriage. But my husband was too caught up in life’s trivialties to notice. Now it has been drawn to his attention (in the worst possible way), it has given him chance to re-evaluate his priorities. Tell your husband how you feel and make sure he understands how you are hurting. This might be enough to save your marriage.
It may be the case that you are best off out of your marriage, if you are both unable to reach a resolution, but don’t take this as a sign to leap into the other guy’s arms. He has messed with your emotions in the past, and there is nothing to say he won’t do this again. What are his motivations for being in contact with you again?
I wish my crush had been an a**hole to me, but unfortunately he is a sweet and lovely guy. He’s only human, just like me, and we made a chronic error of judgement. We are now both being punished by the heartache.
I think of my crush often. Sometimes I just try to remember the softness of his blue-eyed gaze and the strength of his embrace; sometimes I yearn to know what he is thinking and whether I am still residual in his thoughts.
My darling affair partner. I never thought I was capable of infidelity, and yet I found myself powerless to resist the chemistry that brought us together, first as friends, and much later as lovers. And yet now, he has been ripped out of my life and I grieve. I no longer wish to kiss his warm lips and trace the outline of his face with my fingertips. I no longer need to pursue the hedonistic fantasy that played out in my mind every second we were apart. The most supremely beautiful element of our affair was a simple friendship, and we mistook this for something else.
Of course it was exciting. My heart leapt at his very touch, but as I gazed at him stretched out on his bed, his expression reflecting a battle between guilt and desire, I knew this wasn’t just sexual. I needed to comfort and protect him, not sleep with him. But we had already crossed a line, and the flesh is weak. Not that we did sleep together. I think the entirely non-technical term is ‘fooling around’. Whatever it was, it was ultimately empty and caused more harm than pleasure. It was… well it was simultaneously astoundingly breathtaking and yet tragically and painfully inevitable. From the start, he was rational and determined that things should not continue. But I was not ready to let go. I felt desired, sexual and beautiful. Probably for the first time in my life. I was the goddess in a man’s fantasy; I was the mysterious beauty that could turn him on just by talking on the phone. I felt powerful; no, empowered. I felt alive, confident and happy. The thought of him unable to get me out of his head all day long was exhilarating; and I reciprocated by filling every minute of my own day with thoughts of him. Working became impossible, such was my preoccupation.
My husband is a wonderful man, despite how inattentive he has been; a list of positive attributes and glowing adjectives has no place here though. I have always loved him and this never stopped; at no point did my emotions and devotion transfer to someone else. If only things were so simple! I began to fall in love with a friend, and this coexisted tacitly and uncomfortably with my matrimonial vows. I had learned to accept that my comfortable, safe and predictable marriage did not revolve around the romantic minutiae that had characterised the preceding courtship; how could it?
On the night we said goodbye to our affair, I drove to his flat. I met him outside and we silently climbed the stairs to his door. Not a word issued between us until we had both sat down. The tears began. I felt supremely sad and my heart broke.
We did kiss goodbye, deeply and yet gently. And I knew it wasn’t just goodbye to the affair. It was goodbye to one of the closest friendships I have known, and that just tears me in two. Deep down, I know so little about him, but I was just starting to reveal the man who has always been so guarded. I felt like I was getting a rare look into his world, his desires, his hopes…
My marriage will take time to rebuild. This wasn’t a simple sexual fling. I long to go back to what I had with both men; a devoted husband at home and an understanding friend no more than an email away. But this is a selfish thing to want. Still, I pray every day that not only will I become a better wife to a deserving and loving husband, but I will also be able to restore a friendship with someone I thought would always be in my life.
And so I grieve, and pray. I am advised that time is a great healer. All I can do is put my trust in this cliché and pray that there is a grain of truth therein.
In summary of a rather lengthy stream of consciousness (!), please do not act rashly. Speak to your husband, honestly and openly. Give him a chance. Men are generally not emotional creatures and sometimes need gently (or not so gently!) guiding in the right direction. My husband and I are now attending counselling; the benefits of which I am highly sceptical, but I owe it to him to try to make things work. And who knows, things may be irretrievable, but we must be open-minded.
Things are never black and white, and the ‘holier than thous’ who would like to think so are very mistaken and naive. Human beings are complicated and consumed by a plethora of powerful emotions.
I hope this helps, despite coming from another confused person!
My wife has had a crush for almost a year for a co-worker. We are very open and honest, otherwise why would I know right. We have been married for 8 years and I have always treated her as #1 in my world. She and I lack nothing yet for some strange reason this man caught her eye. It is painful at times but the honest truth is you own no one and no one person owns you. You are sad not because someone makes you sad, you are sad because you choose to be sad. And the same goes for happiness. We are carnal beings, we lust after new flesh. We all take for granted the ones that truly love us. I hand deliver a sunflowers, I write love letters, I give all the affection that women dream about and this crush happens. The truth is it you do those things because you want to, because it makes you happy, there is no true obligation in love.
Think about what the consequences; make sure it’s what you really want. I set my wife free to follow what she thought was right and I pray she finds in the end that friction can never replace true companionship. Good luck, oh P.S. Honesty is a good policy but it hurts the one you love, as much as I am a forward thinker, I have spent much time pondering it all. But in the end I hope to come out a better person, a better husband, and a better lover.
I think if u have a crush on someone especially if your married,u should not act upon your feelings eventhough they may be strong, and the person might be irresistable,because in the end someone always end up getting hurt although that was not the intention.
I have two: my fiance’s twin brother and one of my (married) professors with whom I have formed a friendship.
I am head over heels for my business partner. We are both married. I don’t think he feels the same way, I have sent out many signals with no return. He is very happy with his wife I think, and a devout Christian, so I can’t see him straying. I fantasize about him constantly. I love my husband and have virtually no complaints, so this is purely me.
We have so much in common, he’s into music, golf and honestly everytime I see him I just want to consume him. But I’ll keep pretending and just be friends and hope this eventually melts away.
i have a serious crush on my co worker, oh God he just passed by my desk now…iam melting….he is sexy, intelligent, handsome oh my! we talk more often…and he is the one who 1st approached me. i don know hw he feels about me…i wonder if he feels the same way….iam married but my marriage is so boring….he is single and not committed..iam 25 and hez 29..everytime i go to bed i think about this guy, evertime i c hm my heart smiles….iam thinkn of goin to a Sangoma or prophet to help ignite my crush to approach me…oh my i just wana kiss him and feel him…iam so crazy about him….iam dying to know hw he feels about me…please advice and help me…
I think everyone could find a crush if they really tried. I mean, I don’t believe that there is only one person in the world for everyone. People are capable of falling in love with more than one person, but if you are married or in a relationship, think back to why you are with that person? You had all these feelings for that person at one time, they just have maybe been put on the back burner over the mundane normalities of life. This crush is new and exciting, so you confuse it with thinking that you don’t have feelings for your partner. Instead of acting on this crush, try to spice things up and find that “first time crush” with your spouse or partner. It was there before and you can really bring it back again. I don’t advise any threesomes though. You can never take it back and in the long run, betrayal will set in and eventually ruin the relationship. There are too many divorces out there these days, let’s not make more.
I have a crush on a co-worker (married) and my husband knows about it. He sees no problem with it. We have a secure marriage and as long as he knows the guy and knows I won’t go beyond a certain point with it, its OK. He has had crushes on other women on occausion and has kept me informed. I know the women involved and have told them that its OK to hang out with him if they want. No sex allowed but touchy-feelly a little is OK.. We see it as a form of friendship, granted it might go a little farther than some would be comfortable with but as long as both parties agree and no one gets hurt, no problems.. You do have to have open communication with your spouse..
I’ve had a crush for 14 years on a guy I know from college. I was always too scared of rejection and although we were friends I never tried to take it past that. I agonized over this guy in college, and now I wish I had told him how I felt. The rejection back then would be so much better for me than how I feel now.
I’ve been married six years and with my husband for eight years. He’s a wonderful guy and I would never do anything to jeopardize the marriage. But sometimes I wonder what might have been if I’d had the guts to go after my crush. My crush was out of my life for 8-9 years, but recently we got into contact again online. It is still just a peripheral, friends only kind of thing. We barely have direct contact, but I see his photo and his updates, and it’s enough to make my heart do flip-flops.
To anyone who has a crush and has the opportunity to pursue it without hurting anyone — do it!!! I think it would be so much easier to get over my crush now if I’d found out long ago that he was or wasn’t interested.
Anonymous on June 11, 2009.
I can’t believe I am writing this but I have been married for 12 years. We are 10 years apart I’m 37 and my husband is 47. We often go months and at times even years with out being intimate. i constantly complain to my husband and he says he will do better. But day after day it stays the same. If I would have known this wuld be going on I would have stayed single. I have recently started fantazing about my former much younger ex co-worker he is 23 years old and single. We talk via text and email not to often but sometimes. I do feel like the other ladies so lonely. I constantly ask myself why did I get married what is the point. Oh, my husband and I have no children. I needed to get this off my chest. I pondering whether to stay or go.
I’ve had many crushes in my 28 years of life experience… Yet, many if not all of them, have gone unrequited. Its a sad reality but if it hasn’t become something by now, it only reveals to me it wasn’t meant to be in the first place… I’m dating this guy who I believe thinks the world of me. He’s been there for me no matter what.. When I’d get sick, he’d make sure I had enough food and medicine to get me through it. He’s just a really great guy.. I never had to ask for anything because he’d always think of it first.. We honestly have a good thing going but lately, I’ve been feeling a little ehh.. I’ve also kept up a friendship with this other guy I’ve known for a short while. He often texts me and tries very hard to convince me to go and visit him one of these days.. Of course, I protest and say I can never do anything outside of my relationship with my guy. But he can’t seem to take no for an answer… So I deleted him… But then he’d somehow find a way back in and it would start all over again.. But the problem is, before I met this new guy that I’m with, we (the deleted guy and I) were an item… And so now, I’ve become quite curious as to what would’ve happened if I had taken things further than they became between us in the past.. But my guy is really a sweetheart and shows how important I am to him.. I can’t just throw away a good thing like that.. It would just be an idiotic move on my part…however, lately I’ve wondered why I never took a chance on my unrequited feelings, only to settle for someone I don’t necessarily feel the sparks for… I mean, knowing that he will always take care of me and put me somewhere on his list of priorities is a great thing. And yet, I feel as though something is missing… Why??? Too many questions and not enough answers….. Sigh =(
This is a great site…to get things off your chest and know that it is o.k. and normal!!! My husband had a roving eye, and when I found out it really crushed me. Since that time I have developed a crush on someone at work…I think in some way I have always felt that way, but much more so now that I have these needs to feel appreciated. I would never act upon these feelings, but they are certainly there. I don’t know if they are recipricated, but there is a lot of subtle flirting going on. I know that he is interested in someone, just not sure who (and he is married –I thought happily). I love my husband but I can’t stop thinking about this other guy. I guess a fantasy life is what I need right now.
Right now, I just LOVE Glenn Beck - even if he is married !!!!
(ha ha)
I hate to say this, but am so glad that it’s anonymous! I am still in love with my ex husband. Does that count as a crush? Please don’t get me wrong, I love the man I’m married to now and would never think of acting on my feelings for my ex, but my ex divorced me and I have never gotten over him. I found him on MySpace (HUGE MISTAKE) and cannot stop looking at his myspace information. I will not contact him… I just want to look (because I’m some sort of masochist), cannot stop myself. My head wants to believe that it was for the best, but I can’t help but feel like I missed out. The man that I’m married to now is WONDERFUL: kind, funny and spoils me rotten, but I miss the connection that I had with my ex. He ignited passion and excitement in me. My life now seems dull and boring. And what makes all of this even worse is that I found out shortly after my ex and I were divorced that I couldn’t have children of my own while he DID go on to remarry and have a child. My heart broke… yet again I have this HEAVY feeling that I missed out… AGAIN! My ex taught me so much about myself and the gratitude for what he gave me always kept me from the normal feelings of anger and hatred that normal ex spouses go through. I just never had it. I would have been helpful to move on. I have spent years with this secret broken heart that I wish I could get over.
I have a big crush on my married neighbor. He has everything I want in a man. He is handsome, tall, intellegent & has a great careere. I am married with kids and he is married with 3 kids. I can not stop thinking about him. Onece I notices he was looking at me, and I was hoping he likes me too. His wife has been rude to me since I moved to their neighborhood. I don’t know why. I am very shy. I see him only a few times a month, if I am lucky. When I am close to him I get very nerves and I don’t talk to him very much. I don’t think he has any idea about this.
I been with my other half for 6 yrs we have a son that is 2 yrs old since we met i like it him a lot but it took a while before i start it to love him… but he was just plain good when i first met his childhood friend i was like wow he is so so dam handsome but nothing about it but since summer last year we been talking to each other more and even having secrets like i want to do this for my friend or i want to this for my husband.. he also have a wife i don’t know and he had told me secrets about him for like example he had played her and he also had said that he feel he could trust me I don’t know if im taking mix match feeling but i feel like he like me, my husband family said to me that he must like me cause he never been so nice to any of my man’s girlfriends but me.. he call when my husband its a t work.. well the true is that 3 months to now i dream with him..i just want to omg make him mine what should i do…
My husband had a hard time making friends when we first moved here but I hit it off with a gal and her husband totally brought out the best in my hubby. Then I noticed one day that he was staring at me with attraction all over his face. Not long afterwards, at a costume party, I nearly fainted at the sight of him in a tight shirt (tall, dark, nice muscled chest) and the crush was mutual. That was nearly a year ago. Now they’re our best friends and we do almost everything with them. Funny thing is I KNOW part of it is because he and I want to be around each other! He invites my husband to do stuff that I’ll be dragged along to, I call his wife to come over for dinner parties…we all get along so well! And I LOOOOOOVE how his dark eyes just sparkle at me, holding my gaze for a very long time! Today he paid me a complement and my hubby shot him a glance that was playfully annoyed. I’m pretty sure my husband and his wife know SOMETHING is there, although the only thing I’ll admit to is enjoying the attention. We’re very well behaved and enjoying the CRUSH part, not looking to act. It’s nice to have something to look forward to! Besides, I don’t want to give this up because knowing someone is attracted to you and you CAN’T act on it brings back those delightful old feelings that I really missed having!
I am 27 years old and have been together and in love with my husband since I was 16. We are the best of friends and compatible lovers. We have 3 beautiful children too. The problem is, he had a one night stand affair over a year ago while drunk and it almost destroyed me. We seemed to be over the worst, but low and behold I have fallen madly in love with one of my bosses. I realise that I have always been interested, but lately we have had to work closely together on several new projects and I am completely smitten. I’m talking complete CRUSH - butterflies in my stomach, swooning at the sound of his voice, trembling at the smallest brush with his flesh - completely infatuated. The worst is I do believe there was a spark between us before I was married 7 years ago and I ignored it. WHAT IF I’VE LOST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE? To make matters worse, I really like his beautiful live-in girlfriend too. I am chubby and he probably doesn’t even think about me that way, and I am even doing crazy things like reading website like, “how to steal someone’s boyfriend” and “how a chubby girl can attract any man”. My stomach is in knots everyday when I come to work and I giggle at everything just like a ridiculous kid. I am enjoying this new found youngness again tho. I hope I can at least steal a kiss from him in a weak moment …
I have a crush on my husband’s friend. I don’t really see him very often but he is quite the looker. It would be easier to get over him if he would stop being so nice to me whenever I do see him. Everyone else would just walk by and smile when I would visit my hubby at work but he would actually say hi and talk. I know it is probably because my hubby doesn’t give me much attention anymore. I would never do anything behind his back and telling him is out of the question. He has been more and more jealous as the years have gone by. We have been together since I were 14 but it is just me. If I told him it would not sit well. He doesn’t let me go out as it is. He would lock me in the closet if I told him. I don’t really know what to do but I do want the thoughts and the dreams to stop I know that much.
I have a big crush on a mutual friend of my husband and I. It started when I joined him at a concert that his friend had to bail out of. I’m pretty sure it was because I have not been out on a “date” with anyone besides my husband for so long that I got totally infatuated. Our friend is single and he and I have started chatting online regularly (initiated by him). The thing is that he is just being a really kind and caring friend and we have quite a bit in commmon. We’ve been out by ourselves a couple of more times while my husband stayed home with the kid and besides some drink induced flirting nothing has happened and it probably never will, but, oh, do I fantasize about it! *sigh*
I have been married for 12 years and I have 2 boys. I have a HUGE crush on this guy that works at the same company as my husband. He is recently married but my husband and I are no longer close. He flirts and ALWAYS gives me this BIG hug when he sees me. I have tried to make it go further before he got married. I waited for him one day after work to ask him to go for a drink but he had to deliver something to somewhere for the company. He acts like he doesn’t want to take it any further but he is always telling me I smell wonderful and hugging me and he looks deep into my eyes every time we talk. I CANT GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD. I think about him all the time. But now that I found out he got married (No he did not tell me)I told him the hugs and flirting had to stop. He looked sad and said “I can’t hug you?” I told him I did not want to cause problems for him with his wife. He said he would stop hugging me but she would not give two shakes of a rats tail about it. That’s the last time I saw him.
I got married last year although we have been together now for 6 years. My husband has a heart of gold and treats me wonderful. He is also my best friend and we are so compatible. However I don’t understand why I still look at attractive men. I know in my heart that cheating is some of the worst pain you can inflict on your loved one and know that I never would. My husband and I have always discussed our love for one another and the fact that none of us would ever tolerate cheating. He is my first true boyfriend and now husband. I was very particular about dating when I was younger due to higher education/schooling. Lately however I find myself thinking about my past crushes. In fact yesterday we had a new medical intern and the moment I saw him my eyes lit up. Turns out he was once married however has been divorced. I don’t know if he is single or not but I have found myself flirting with him at work. I know he finds me attractive yet why in the world would I even flirt with this dude. When I came home last night I really wanted to make love with my husband because I felt so guilty about sort of flirting with this guy. I woke up last night and could not sleep thinking about him at the same time thinking I am a horrible person for even feeling this way. He is very different from my husband…really ambitious and very macho whereas my husband is gentle and kind. I think when I go back to work I am going to continue being kind only because thats my nature however I am going to stop with the flirting. I am now thinking I can’t wait until his residency is over so I don’t have to see him. I spoke to my friends and they all stated that having crushes is normal however, I do not want to even flirt or have a crush…I just don’t know what has gotten into me.
I had a crush on my neighbour. He seemed like a very nice guy. Funny, charming, witty, well groomed etc and extremely keen to being in my company. I admitted my crush to him, and he pretended to be aloof, and said he was really only interested in ‘friendship’. Yet, he is always sending mixed signals, saying out of context overly affectionate and caressing me, when he got the rare chance, insulting and commenting on my male visitors and outwardly jealous. Man, I was not born yesterday. I KNOW when a man has the hots for me. Whats not to like, I am assertive, sexy, and have a very exciting interesting life. I guess he was just too intimidated by me to admit his true feelings. Gosh, this guy turns out to be such bad news. He subsequently became sexually involved with my friend whom he met via me. I’m convinced he did it to provoke jealousy in me. As much as his attempt worked, I never show it. I just avoid them both now. The crush feeling I used to have, has turned into nausea. I hate that I have to see him as he is my neighbour. Everytime I see him, I just feel sick. I prefer scoundrels who do not pretend to be nice people.
I, like many other posts, am happily married. I can’t help, on occasion, to have the flitter of a crush.
One of my neighbors is an extremely hot, single man, late 30’s/early 40’s. He is funny, charming, friendly and complimentary. I feel awkward in front of him, as it is this weird I-used-to-be-hot-before-kids-and marriage, so “flirting” with him makes me feel like the 20 something I used to be, yet in a 30something body who shouldn’t act like that. I am sure I look like such a geek to him…
Anyway, a few years ago, he got kind of drunk at a party he was having at his house, and while we were out in the garage refilling our cups, he blurted out in a montage of words somewhere in the middle about always having a crush on me and that he wanted to know what it would be like to be with me…then he went on to babble about something else. Needless to say, I was drop-jawed and stunned!
Like I said, this was years ago, but it lingers in my mind. Now, I used to be confident and could get any man I was even remotely interested in, but now…I know I am married and heavier, older, not so “footloose and fancy free” — I think part of MY charm — and it just felt nice to have someone say something flirty like that.
My husband knows I think he’s hot (it is kind of undeniable, even to the husbands in the ‘hood!), and knows I am not the cheating kind. I would NEVER
….continued from above (dang computer!!)
….I would NEVER act on it. I think if I did, the fantastic fantasy of it all would *poof* and disappear….and I like the motivation it gives me to want to be cute and put together, because I feel like that is how he sees me.
Another one I get (and this is just weird, honestly), is a much younger man that used to work at my child’s school. He worked in the day care part of the school, and he looks all discheveled and odd, totally not my type. Unshaven, looking like he is hungover all the time…anyway, every time I knew he was working, I would make myself up and figure out some way to see him. I would go inside the school and look in the lost and found, go into the office to ask some stupid question — just to see him look at me. When I would take lunch to my daughter, if I looked up, he was always looking at me (how exciting!!), or he would come over to the table to say something. He left the school and I never even knew his name. It hasn’t happened again, with any other person, but I wouldn’t mind if it did! Any innocent flirtation is fun.
I guess we all have some sort of thing inside of us that wants us to be wanted/adored/lusted after. I would never act upon it, but that butterfly feeling that we all used to get in the dating process is exciting and fun — and seriously releases dopamine in our brain, which makes us feel GREAT! I think it is fun to have little crushes. I know my limits and my husbands limits, and it is not acceptable to act physically on anything. Speaking of my husband, he has a job where he sees hot women all the time — and I don’t doubt that they flirt with him and likewise. When he comes home to tell me that a girl asked if he was single that day, his step is a bit lighter, a bit bouncier, like “I still got it!”. It’s cute, and I am happy for him! I am also reaffirmed that my hubby is still wanted by others. It makes me more appreciative, actually!
I seem to always have a crush on someone. It’s like I crave the extra attention and my husband would be heartbroken if he ever knew how I can flirt, but it’s like I can’t help it. And then I feel guilty and pull away. Then make a new friend who I flirt with, who provides me with constant attention and compliments.
I’ve had a crush on a woman from work for about a year now. I’ve actually asked her out a couple of times and she would say, “I don’t know”. She actually only told me no once but, we still have not been out. We have gotten a little closer in the last few months and we laugh and have good conversations. I just can’t get her to see me outside of work. I believe she is single now but, I’m not sure. When the crush first started she was seeing someone. We do flirt back and forth and she lets me touch her as well. I know it’s inappropriate at work but, I can’t help it.
I told her that I was interested in her and she said, ” I kind of thought so”. She has not acted on my confession at all. She did not say how she felt about it or addressed the situation again. If someone told me they were interested in me it would linger in my head until I could tell them how I feel. I have two people trying to help me out in this situation and it’s killing me. I know she is at least attracted to me but I don’t know if she wants anything else. I can’t focus at all. I sit around work all day thinking about her.
I’m a 24 year old married to a 28 year old for 5 years. He is a sweetheart and although he has his faults, ultimately treats me like gold. I was 18 when I married him and had only had two other previous boyfriends who I only dated about a month each! Needless to say, I have really never been with that many guys and, although I don’t have really have a crush on anyone and even if I did, I don’t believe I would act out on it - I MISS that feeling of having a crush on somebody. I miss that feeling of your heart racing, of not being able to get that guy out of your mind, etc. etc.
The saddest part is that I totally rushed into getting married with my husband. I don’t think I ever did have a crush on him. I just wanted to leave home. I’m scared that he’s not “The One” and that eventually I WILL MEET “The One” but I will be married with kids…
We don’t have any kids and we’re not planning on until we get a “big house” and both have good and steady jobs.
Sometimes I think that I should divorce while I still have time and try to rebuild my life and meet some more men and just LIVE again…
but it’s not that easy. Sometimes I fear that I will REGRET leaving my husband because, even though he is a bit on the “big” side (weight-wise) he truly has a heart of gold and whatever woman ends up with him could consider herself fortunate.
I have two bosses. Number One boss is conservative. Number two boss is very charming and animated. He always jokes around with me. I have a major crush with boss #2 but he’s married and so am I. I always make sure I don’t cross that line. But if he does, I don’t know if I can put the breaks on.
I’m 23, engaged to my 25 year old fiance. We’ve been together for 5 years. After hearing him talk about his friends all the time, I finally met them this past weekend. I have developed a major crush on his boss. He’s super cute and funny, but married with kids. Just an innocent crush, makes things more fun.
Yes Yes Yes. I have a crush on my sons high school principal. I am married with two children (so is he) and would absolutely have an affair in a second, I am so physically attracted to this man. I have tried to not think of him, but I can’t help myself. The sad part is he doesn’t have the same feelings. But I want him. Right or wrong I just do. If there was anyway to make his feelings change I would do it. I’ve even researched on-line how to make someone want you. It’s pathetic I know. But I can’t help it. He’s so hot and sexy and his voice sends chill bumps down my spine.
we can see each other twice a week, because our sons are in the same after school activity. it seems you flirt with all women around. I want to ignore you sometimes, just because…
I do love looking into your eyes and thinking how great it would be if you kissed me. I love hearing your deep voice. I can’t get my eyes away from your muscular arms…aw. I love it when you say I look nice and give me flirty smiles- but again, you flirt with all. I am too old to compete for this
For the first time in my ten year relationship I like another guy. Phew. My heart is beating just thinking about it. He’s actually a great guy and because he’s been cheated on, he would never allow anything to happen. I think he likes me, but probably not since I told him he confused me. I wouldn’t cheat on my husband, EVER, especially since he’s been with me through many hard times and is being super patient with me. I told myself I can be just friends and am going to try and work on getting him out of my head, but it’s so hard. He makes my stomach flutter and those eyes…been so long since I’ve felt that. I hate that my relationship is stagnant. I hope my husband and i don’t let our once amazing love die. I’m glad I am not the only one out there who has to go through this.
okay well i have been with my husband for 9 years although we have only been married for 4 months. i just started this new job aaboutg 5 months ago,well this guy that i work with, wow, he makes my heart flutter! i mean flutter! i have to file things in his office and he will walk up behind and just slightly slide across me and i could just die! like no really the feelings that come across me woooh i cant even begin to explain. well anyways my husband knows this guy and they have drank a beer or two together and i talk about the things that he does here at work that “pisses” me off when really i think that i just wish it was me. anyways that is another story! so this guy we were here at work by ourselves one day and he asked me to go home with him and i couldnt resist the feelings anymore and so i did ( i wasnt married yet) so i felt bad but now all i can think about is doing it again. and i know that i would never cheat on my husband but i cant get these images of him or him period out of my dang head! help me ladies im over-whelmed!
I have a huge crush on a co-worker. I knew he had one on me too. One night we both got a little tipsy on facebook and admitted our feelings. I have been married for 25 years and this guy is not. The next day we immediately took a step back and agreed that “what ever this is, it has to stop”. He did’t want to be “that guy”. Now I am distracted, agonizing. Why didn’t I just keep this little crush a secret? I really don’t want to give up on my marraige just to find out this guy has a crush on everyone else too. But OMG he is hot! He makes my heart flutter. I can’t even talk around him. I am a complete idiot.
I am married and have a major crush on my married line manager at work. I have had for the past 3 years, since I have been working with him. It has gotten worse lately, where I keep thinking about him and fantasizing about what he would do if he found out (you know, like saying he feels the same and we should run away together etc). I know it’s never going to happen in reality. I get butterflies when I am around him, I miss him when he is not in the office, I even dream about him every night. Last night I dreampt he kissed me - it was so soft and gentle and warm and loving. I know it is never going to happen but I can’t help myself. I caught him looking at me yesterday in the office. It was probably innocent, but I immediately thought he liked me too. He treats me differently than my colleague (he is her line manager also), but I think it might me cos he has worked with me longer. I am confused, but I would never tell my husband. My colleague and my friend are aware of this crush. My colleague asked me today if my line manager asked me to run away with him would I, and I said (without even thinking first) of course I would. I know I shouldn’t have told my colleague, but it is eating me up inside. I have thoughts about seeing him in a kilt (he is Scottish) and looking to see if the rumours are really true about underneath! I am infatuated with everything about him, it’s so wrong!
I have a crush on my best friend. The worst part was that I’ve kept it a secret for so long, but he recently found out. I like our friendship and would never do anything to change it, but when I look at his face I have to turn away because of the smile that it brings to my face. I’m single because no one compares to my best friend and I’m afraid I’ll love him forever. Every song I’ve ever heard can somehow relate to our complex relationship and hearing music has never been the same since I met him. It was a weird circumstance one night and I was able to hold him, as if he were mine for that instance, and that memory consumes me. I almost hate myself for having such a memory that seems so faint, but was very much true. It gave me a taste of something I’m sure I will never have, but I have hope. Why? Just because I don’t think my heart will make it if you tell her the truth.
i had a crush on my boss. She’s a female and so am i. At first i admired her being so professional until i totally madly in love with her. She was so kind and adorable. But sadly, i didn’t dare to tell her how i feel. i am so afraid of rejection and i am also afraid of making myself such an idiot..=S
Yep. I only know him online though.
I have the feeling if I ever meet him IRL I’ll say something like “I have something I really want to tell you… I lo-ke you! Lo-ke you” XD;;
ooooh i have a crush alright. i feel terrible about the whole thing because i’m married, and it’s only been a year, almost 5 years in all. my husband just doesn’t treat me the same anymore. he doesn’t usually treat me ‘bad’ persay but he’s drifted, work matters more, etc. and the times when it seems like he loves me it’s amazing but when he doesn’t or if we fight i feel like i don’t want to be anywhere near him. so then this guy at work comes into the picture. he has qualities i like that my husband doesn’t have, physically and mentally/emotionally. he sends me sweet texts sayin bout how cute i am, how nice i look on whatever day (lol work uniform wtf), and he knows kinda a bit about how my husband doesn’t treat me like i’d like him to..he thinks it’s a shame. he loves to compliment me, and watch me smile and blush as i read his texts. when we make eye contact it’s like we wait as long as we can to smile but once one of us cracks the other one does and he gets this goofy lil smile and i smile all big and i blush and it’s a mess..and he has a girlfriend to..! now i do not think highly of myself whatsoever but his girlfriend is ehhh not so nice-looking. actually now that i’m thinking of it my crush is decent looks-wise, the parts of him that are drop-dead gorgeous (his eyes and smile are my favorite lol) kinda make up for the parts of him that aren’t so much. but his whole like..arua, his personality and his looks, makes him so devilishly sexy. my husband would be heartbroken/infuriated/god knows if he found out. i love him to death, but i can’t get this other guy out of my head. sad part is i’ve only been in contact with this guy in this way for not even a week. i guess i just gotta give it time, maybe he’ll do something to piss me off or it’ll get old or something.
I have been married for going on 2years now. My husband was deployed overseas for the majority of our marrage and well, he has physically cheated on me once and emotionally several times. Im broke up and raising 3 kids with a fake smile just to get throught the day. He has a friend i have confided in and im falling into a dangerous pattern here. This man is the only one who hasnt made me feel worthless as a person. My ex abused me physically and emotionally, my husband is all talk and no action. Imsue he loves me, but i cant help but to feel alone in this marrage. This other man came over last night with friends to play poker and, he crahed here. I was asked durring the game how i met my husband. Though it was a cute story,after the game and going out to play some pool as a group, we all came back here. My husband is still overseas and i respect our marrage vows too much to act on anything ever but,before going into my room, to lock the door, this other man said “i wish i was the one you would have met”. I took this as him having too much to drink at the game but, i have been having these feelings for him for over a year now. He is single an divorced, he was cheated on by his ex wife.I keep strong for my marrage but,when we lock eyes, even for a moment, i have this fantasy montage of us having one of those tense face to face moments, you know “the one where your heart beats so deep that the other can hear it,the inches close to eachothers faces,almost resembling the moment before that romantic unfobidden kiss,the one that will never happen,the sexual tension you can cut with a knife” to be able to have this moment and not act on it i keep thinking will somehow cure this crush. This man is my husbands friend and i dont want to ruin that. When this man told me he was sorry for any ramblings,he was just being nice and respectful after the drunken words…but those words, those words, even if they werent meant,those 10 little words kept me up all night. It was a beautiful moment,i felt i was appreciated and sought after in words. “i wish i was the one you would have met”, it was so short and sweet, nothing like my husband would ever say. Yes,im one of those unhappy housewives. Married in a moment where i was weak. Where i was forced out of falicy of love. My usband has a daughter with an ex that was deemed unfit,we married so i could take care of her legally and so forth. My husband even told me, that he is learning to love me more and more. Why do i feel like i was an option? I was a single mother of 2. Did i feel i needed someone for them, a father figure. He is a good dad. I have always kept my children 1st. But, nevertheless,i really liked staying up thinking of the “what ifs” even though i know that the thoughts will never manifest more than just a daydream. I woke this morning with this man alrady gone. A part of me missed him, another part of me was glad he was gone. I think that im acting out emotionally within myself, with no emotional support from my husband, and a strong will to keep to my vows, i feel trapped. But, as a good little housewife,i will put on the plastic smile for the sake of my family,cook and clean with little to no grattitude from my husband. Fake the pleasure in sex just to get it over with. For once in my life, i would love a little romance,gratitude,love. I would never cheat on my husband,part of me still loves him, though he cheated on me. What ever happens to happines for women like me? Do we carry on our daily work,duties ignoring he screaming woman inside? Do we play house with a huband who in a way,has changed? Have we changed? Are we the monsters of our minds and hearts desires or,are we so low in esteem and of self value due to previous events in our lives,that we settle for lesser in the scope of our view and expctations of happiness? Are we so starved for that fairy tale happy ending that the only way we can have that is in our dreams,in a bed,next to one who doesn’t really give 2 dam*s about us (other the “wifely duties”.)Do we make due? Are we happy,truly happy,or ar we just fooling ourselves stubbornly? Why do we have to have these feeling of inaqequatcy? Are we willing to just keep this our own little fantasies and dreams,or do we act on them and ruin the lives of those affected by these feelings? I know one thing will always stand true for me,that i will have my dreams. Because these dreams are lies we have to tell ourselves to escape and sleep away the reality which life has left for us to deal with. That we have made for ourselves. To him,to those 10 little yet profoundly big words,to the dreams where we are happy. To….
Thank you more than words can possibly say for what you wrote.
I, too, just went through what you did, although only a few people know and my husband is NOT one of them. We said goodbye in the same way, only I was weak and tried to drag it out a few times; he called me just the other night to say “hello,” even though he is in a new relationship and, so I thought, “happy.”
Anyway, your words are amazingly helpful - thank you from the bottom of my soul for sharing your story.
I think this is normal, ladies: I think that after years of being with a partner, as humans it is natural to wander (and yes, even us ladies). We just have to make a very real and honest choice: are we prepared to deal with the consequences?
Like SapphireEyes, I did it and now I have to decide where I am.
It does not help that I have a new crush on a coworker…not at all like the man I fell for previously, but still, it shows me my problems are far from gone.
This time, though, I am wiser and will not act (and neither, thankfully, would this man). Still, the longing is natural…we just have to be unnatural, be stronger than our longing — but not beat ourselves up too much if we can’t. We are ONLY HUMAN. Loneliness and absence of what we need sexually are powerful forces. Do not underestimate them, just be prepared to face what you do…/
I am in relationship from past 2 years and a friend of mine who once upon a time was my crush told me that he’s falling for me, beacuase of this I am not abke to concentrate on anything, I spoke to my friend clearly regarding this and I know will not ditch my boy frnd but he’s my friend who has a crush on me a very good friend, I want him to be in my life with my lover and just as a good friend forever… doonoo wht to do???????
I have been married to my husband for 1.5 years. We have been together for 5. I have a crush on my co worker, and I think he might too. We always flirt back and forth, and he gives me little gifts sometimes. I feel so bad about it, but as hard as I try I can’t get him out of my head. I haven’t experienced anything like this before, and I don’t know what to do. I must be a glutton for punishement though because we are now friends of facebook as well.
i have a crush on a coworker who is way older than me. i am 24 and he is 51 and he has a a girlfriend. never going to happen obviously but i needed to say it because i dont want to bottle it up
I have a huge crush on a coworker. I’m 28, he’s 24 and has a girlfriend. He’s totally not my type, either, but for some reason I’m really attracted to him. MMM…he has the nicest butt. Oh, well, gives me something to look at when I’m not busy.
I have to admit i have a chrush on co worker 12 years younger i have done thing with him i never done with my husband, I recently told him i did’nt want to continue with our affair if you can call it affair. I don’t think that he loves or has a crush on me anymore but we did not sleep together and i think thats my problem. With him i talked about anything and everything it was a good relation. I am very comfused on my feeling towards him but his partner is especting their second child and i don’t want to hurt anybody from his side of the family and mine. Very comfused
I have a crush on an old boyfriend… We seriously dated in high school and twenty years later we are talking on FB and email. He called me and the butterflies hit. We are both divorced with kids, but live states apart.
crush on someone at my church
I have a huge crush on a coworker. He is so gorgeous but kind of irritating, (we bicker) and I swear bi-polar. I am unhappily married and have tried to leave but I get such a guilt trip to stay that I always give in. I dont want to leave for my coworker, as I have no illusions of anything serious with him. One second he will look at me with the sexiest eyes and sideways smile and the next he downright ignores me.(Hence the bi-polar) On a drunken night out I told him I was into him and we made out on the dance floor and it was wonderful. I could tell by the way he kissed he wanted me just as bad, but he fought his demons, looked at me and walked away. (He kept coming back and yes I kept giving him a chance to reject me again) I told him I was sorry for the way I acted and I am trying to let him go. He said he was partially to blame and gave me the best smile ever. Its the one you cant have that you want. But I think of him most of the day and always at night.
I’ve had a secret crush on this guy i’ve met back in high school, which is about 10 years ago. I have been married for a few years and i thought about this guy every now and then wondering “what if”. I wasn’t sure if he ever felt the same way about me. We were both shy to an extent. I’m just afraid of rejection and that’s the reason why i never expressed my feelings for him. I had lost touch with him and haven’t spoken with him for the past 3-5 years. I’m divorced now and i just learned that he’s again been contacting the people i met him through. I don’t know if i should try to tell him this time around, if i ever get to see/talk to him again.
2 weeks ago I was contacted by a friend via Facebook that I have had a crush on since I was 8 years old. It was a very intense crush for many years. Our parents were good friends, we went on holidays together and we went to the same primary school. So we had a lot of contact. We last saw each other 25 years ago after a few years gap, and, when we were both in our early twenties. I have never admitted my feelings to him because I didn’t think he felt the same way. I moved to another country and we lost touch. Over the years I have thought about him a lot. I tried to contact him but was told by his parents that he was married. I tried FB a few times but he was obviously not a member until recently.
My heart leapt out of my chest when I received his friend request. I accepted instantly. I felt as high as a kite. I sent a brief message saying I would email him. I left it a few days, because quite frankly, my head was spinning so much I didn’t quite know what I was going to say. 5 days ago we exchanged our first emails. I told him about my life and, he told me his. All in all he’s had a pretty bad time of it. His second marriage is anything but stable. Subsequent emails between us have been light-hearted and funny and a little flirtatious - a bit of teasing, feel-good words and comments etc. Basically, we have a good rapport that seems to stem from the fact that we have known each other for such a long time. I would say we have A LOT in common.
Yesterday, he sent me an email with a photo attached. A picture of the two of us together on holiday on the day we turned 8 and 9 years old. I sent a mail back telling him that I had a huge crush on him when that photo was taken, and in a very jokey tone said that I still do, lol, ha ha, that sort of thing. He sent back a jokey reply admitting that he’s had a life-long crush on me too.
I am literally beside myself - elated beyond belief. At the same time I feel such regret that I’ve never let my feelings be known, or he, his. My husband and I have nothing in common, except our child. I haven’t had any romantic feelings for him for a few years now. Over the last few months I have found myself wondering about what I am doing and where it is all going. One thing I do know for sure is that no matter what, I would not abandon my child, and would not take my child away from my husband.
I feel incredibly sad that my crush and I didn’t have the courage to tell each other how we felt years ago. I’m utterly convinced that we are meant for each other. I have had 3 long term relationships in my life, and not one of them has been anywhere near being a soul mate. Its like no time has passed between us. The fact that we are just much older makes it all the more comical. But this situation is no laughing matter. My emotions are all over the place. I have BIG LOVE in my heart that feels so beautiful I could cry, and I feel a happiness that I haven’t felt for years. My eyes are sparkling again and my skin looks like I’ve had a face-lift. I feel alive. I feel like I have woken up.
The fact that we are thousands of miles apart is the only thing stopping me from going completely insane or doing anything foolish. I’m trying to be restrained. I don’t want to lose our friendship because I allowed myself to lose my head. I’m trying to be sensible. I feel liberated at least, now that I have made my feelings known. In an ideal world we would get married and have lots of children and live happily ever after. I am ecstatic that he has feelings for me. I am trying to convince myself that leaving it at that is better than having no friend, no soul mate, no-one to love unconditionally, no-one to flirt with and no-one to dream about.
We are both in a very happy place right now and we are going to have some beautiful dreams.
The co-worker i have crushed on, leads me on than he sinks me to my lowest i can’t take it no more i think i am worth more. than to be waiting for him to give me a clue, or to even acknowledge me that i have feelings.
i had a crush on my gay colleague, and i think he likes me too. when i first time i saw him, i felt this is a man i’m falling with…but later found he is a gay, and taken…how i’m disappointed. But later he noticed me, the new colleague, and always try to talk to me sometimes, and we do shall a lot in common. Even every morning when i see him, i feel so happy.
Once awkful time is when i saw his boyfriend, i felt uncomfortable and a little jealousy, i think his boyfriend found that and…I’m sure if he was a woman he would be aware of my presentence.
Anyway, i’m still enjoy this silly crush, he makes my working days a pleasure. ahaha…
I have had a crush on my boss ever since I started. He’s not extraordinarily cute, but the way he handles himself I just find extremely sexy. Not to mention his intelligence. I ramble a lot when I talk with him. My guess is that he makes me a little nervous. I am not sure if he knows I have a crush on him or not. I am pretty sure he thinks I’m attractive though. From the moment I first met him he’s always had this way of “checking me out” that wasn’t overt and offensive, but enough to tell he’s getting a good look. In our very first meeting I kept catching him stop what he was doing (writing on the white board) and turn around and look at me. I’m not a troll or anything but I’m not a model either. Anyway, I’ve been here two years and I had a review and I caught him looking at my chest from time to time. Again, it wasn’t overt, but in that way where you know they know you saw them so they quickly look away.
When I first started here we went on a couple business trips together. We flirted quite a bit but always within a certain boundary. On our first trip I went to his hotel room under the “guise” to ask questions about our presentation the next day. He sat on one side of the room and I on the other. It was all very professional. Nothing happened. But you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. On our second business trip I went out for drinks with some people we met at a conference we were attending. He didn’t go, being my boss I guess he had more work to do than I did and stayed in his room. Although our text messages about the decision to do so were very flirtatious - along the lines of him saying “I hate to miss it. Maybe you and I can get a drink later.” And him saying to me “You are cool and smart and I’m so lame that I can’t go.” It ended up that he asked me to give him a ring when I got back to meet up at the hotel bar. So I did. At the hotel bar our new friends and us ordered a few more martinis and I was feeling more brave so I started doing the flirtatious “touching.” I’d touch his hand and hold it for a few seconds while I was talking about something. . .I expected him at first to pull his hand away but he didn’t. He just looked at me with a smile on his face while I chated.
Now here’s the twist. He’s married. I’m married. Nothing has ever happened between the two of us. But I must admit, I completely fantasize about it. When he and I have our one on one meetings and he is so earnestly looking out for my best interests in my career and such. I’m more than thankful. I want to get up and make out with him. But I don’t. When he sees me he compliments everything from my hair to my shoes to the earrings I’m wearing.
But we are both married and I love my husband and I don’t want to be a home-wrecker. And I love my job and I don’t want to jeopardize it. So I just enjoy the sexual tension at work. Sometimes that is more exciting than the reality of anything that would ever happen.
i’ve been married going on 3 years. over the course of that time, i’ve had crushes here and there which have all passed, so i figure it’s normal. right now, i have a crush on one of my husband’s good friends who we end up seeing most weekends and who i occasionally see through work. he’s tall, cute, funny, and kind of an a–hole, which makes him just my type. it’s distracting b/c i find myself suggesting my husband invite him along when we go out to eat, etc. i think he might like me too- he tries to be near me, waggles his eyebrows at me, and seems to like being the center of my attention. obviously, i’d never act on it, but he still stars in my fantasies sometimes, just to satisfy my curiosity. that’s what sucks about marriage- it’s not as though you stop finding other guys attractive and wondering what it would be like to date them.
What do you do if you think you really love this co-worker, but you know his just playing with you. It all atarted as a game but now i think i really did it to myself. And he does’t even like me as a woman, or at least thats what i think
i have a crush on my husband’s customer. I went to his house several times with my husband. At first sight i saw him looks like my ex boyfriend physically. He has a beautiful wife, a cute son and a lovely 2 months old baby girl. Oh my God I can’t help with my feeling. He’s not handsome actually but he reminds me of my ex boyfriend which I ended the relationship because of my parents’ disagreement. I have a happy marriage with my husband and my only son but i still live under my past love story with my ex boyfriend
I recently reconnected with an old friend, found out his marriage only lasted four months, that on his wedding day, she didn’t even look happy or look like she wanted to touch him. To be honest, my heart leapt for joy. I always had a liking for him, but never thought anything was possible because he was dating his gorgeous model girlfriend. No joke, she really is/was a model. I’ve moved 2700 miles from home, just broke up with my boyfriend (before I reconnected with my crush) and have been chatting with him via phone, although primarily chatting via Facebook. (where he is always the first to initiate the conversation…)Sigh…I pray God will direct this because I can’t waste my precious thoughts on anything that’s not worth it. I’ve played that card before and refuse to squander any emotion aimlessly. Dear Lord, keep me focus on You, and bring me the best!
To SapphireEyes, I really wish you are still following this blog. I read yours from last year and could relate to almost every word that you wrote. I wish I could write that nice. Recently, I’m experiencing a similar story to yours. I’ve been married for 21 years. Yes, that is right 21 years. We have wonderful life, three great kids, and we live happily. A few months ago, it started, I found out that my college former professor is having feelings for me. I always liked him, but not in that sense. However, the minute I heard that from him, my life turned upside down, an emotional storm that I can’t explain. We talked about the situation, and we both knew that this is wrong. In spite of this, and while talking and chatting, I slowly but surely fell for him. He is a nice, charming, bright young man, and very married!I enjoyed every moment with him, we mostly talked and chatted, debating what to do, knowing that this is not a socially or morally accepted situation. After a couple of months we met. oh, it was so beautiful and felt so right, like finding a missing puzzle piece. I must say again, that my life, up-till now were perfect, our marriage is a model for so many people. about a month ago, he emailed me that he won’t be able to see me again and that if we will take this further, he marriage will be destroyed. His wife started asking questions and he got very scared. I totally understand that, and we have talked it over, expressed our feelings, it was hard. Ever since, I am crushed to powder! I love him so much. I can’t take him out of my head! I’m crying and depressed most of the time. My family knows that something is wrong but can’t tell what. I’m lucky my husband does not bug me with questions but he is worried. I found myself questioning my feelings for him. Some moments I wish I was dead.
I have talked with my crush, and he suggested that I’ll go to a therapy. He is going too. I went once, not sure how it made me feel, but it doesn’t seem to change anything. She didn’t say anything that I wouldn’t advice a good friend. I’m asking you SapphireEyes, since it’s been a year from your post. How are you coping now? did you ever recover? how was this process? I’m loosing my mind! I just can’t see the light right now, and really need any supporting words. Anybody there?
I’m a 33 year old career changer and have a huge crush on my co-worker/boss. He’s 30, newly out of a long term relationship and an amazing person. I’ve been unhappily married for 3 1/2 years - no kids. My husband and I have had problems from the beginning and they don’t seem to be getting better. My husband and I fight about everything - we just don’t have the same world view. His family is everything for him and unfortunately, I don’t fit into his definition of his family. His family is his parents, his two brothers, their wives and children. I’m at the bottom of the pile.
My crush is a gentle, caring, smart, attractive man. I’ve told him the problems I’m having in my marriage and have even broken down and cried in front of him twice. He has always been supportive and calming - telling me that I’d be fine, that I’m smart, beautiful and capable of surviving on my own.
My crush is such a good guy - he goes out of his way to help other people, he takes on responsibilities that aren’t his, he cares to make a difference. Not only that but physically, he is much more my type than my husband. I’m at least an inch and a half taller than my husband whereas my crush is about a foot taller than me. I often feel larger and bulky when I am next to my husband - I don’t feel feminine at all next to my husband. Versus my crush who I feel sexy and normal when I stand next to. We just fit better.
I feel like I’m going to go mad. I obsess about my crush. I dream about him all day long. I long for him to talk to me. I stay around after work to catch a glimpse of him. I hang out near his office just to get the chance to talk to him. And when I do talk to him, I rush everything I want to say and end up sounding like an idiot. When I hear his voice, I get excited. When I see him, my heart quickens and I inevitably smile. My whole face lights up when I see him. I don’t know much about him other than what I see at work and our random conversations. I don’t even know where he lives.
I just wish I had the chance to be hugged by him. To feel his arms around me. To have him put his arms around my waist and his hands through my hair. To have him whisper in my ear that I do deserve to be happy. That I am beautiful and worthy of love. I want to feel his warm breath on my neck. I just want to feel - even if it’s just once - what it’s like to have his lips on mine. What it would be like for him to just hold me.
I know I want this all because I don’t get it from my husband. At this point, I don’t even WANT it from my husband. I want to feel alive again. I want to feel human. I want to feel emotion.
I’m 28, I have married for 5 years, but with my husband for 10 years. I feel so lonely and depressed around my husband. He verbally abuses me and our sex life is not that great. For the first year or so we were married things were good, but for the last few years things have been really bad, I feel really trapped.
To keep myself from going totally insane, I have had a couple of flings but nothing emotional, just physical. Recently, I have realised I have strong feelings for my business partner. He’s 35, he’s smart, full of energy, positive, happy, generous, socially enlighted, respectful, attractive and sexy. We went of a business trip recently to Darwin. We had a great time, he took me to dinner and treated me like a lady. I made a mistake and said I felt like he was like my brother. I feel like an idiot, because I meant to say, he makes me feel comfortable and happy. I developed strong feelings for him, but we have never kissed or had sex. He keeps looking at me, flirting with me and making me laugh. When we got home, things were different, like he still likes me, but now doesn’t know how to act. We usually talk all the time and feel like we are in another world when we are together. Neither of us have admitted that we like each other or are attracted to each other. He was about to get changed in front of me the other day, which took me by surprise, I didn’t see anything and nothing happened. I wish it had. But that night, I fantasised about laying him out on his desk and having a great time with him. To date, nothing has happened.
I get them impression he is not happy in his marriage either because he keeps telling me about his wife spending all his money, not spending the weekends with him, her going to bed early and not having sex with him.
I have spent the last few weekends thinking of him and what he’s doing. I just can’t get him out of my head. I am so confused, I just don’t know what to do. All I know is that when I am with him, I feel happy and alive. I want him to honour is marriage and his baby son, that’s why I haven’t put pressure on him.
Ok for me to get this guy out my head i told him, to tell me that he doens’t like or has any interest in me as a woman. And this is what he said i can’t tell you that because i would be lying, and you would hate me and i don’t want you to hate me. What do you think this means this is going on my head day and night and is killing me and my relation with my husband anybody any suggestions please desperate here need some advice.
My crush I have known since college. I wont go into details because My luck he would happen upon the site. But I do have a crush, Not since college, but for a long time now. I love my husband and children very much. So Im glad to know its so normal for women who really are in love with their husbands to still have crushes. I think about my friend all the time. I know he does not feel the same about me because he does not always reciprocate my conversations, and times when I try to get him to go have dinner or lunch he is not always available. We have been good friends for some time and nothing has happened. I sometimes fancy that he does have feelings for me and just has to repress them. lol.
Anyway, thats my crush story. I am praying everyday for it to stop so we can go on as friends. I love him and cant lose him as a friend.
I am married and in the military….i married my wife due to the fact that she became pregant and i wanted to do the right to be there for my family…I am a great father but lately the relationship between me and the wife has been disappearing…back in the day i had a crush on this girl but never had the courage to speak with her …well for about a month now we have started speaking on a regular there is a def connection there..but we both have kids and she is engaged …i am so frustarated with my self for never saying anything but i am just not sure what to do…i think she can make me happy but i have to think about my kids and also her situation there is things that i might not be able to give her that her man can give that she is with right now….the connections that we both have for each other is strong she even admints it..but should i tell her how i truely feel….
I am married and I have a wicked crush on a guy at the gym that I go to. It’s what gets me up and at the gym at 5:30am! I’ve only talked to him once, and I’m sure he knows I’m married and have kids as I’ve seen him at the gym on the weekends when I’ve been with my family. My husband is great - he’s loving and understanding, my bestfriend, he helps out around the house and with the kdis and he’s responsible, yet has a wild side. He would be devastated if he knew of my crush. I have to hope that I never have the opportunity to act on this crush. I might do it, even though I love my husband and that hasn’t changed. This crush is no reflection on my relationship with him - it’s completely separate. I’m not sure why I’m so drawn to this guy. He’s got to be only about 23 or so, and I’m 39. He does have a great physique, and he seems a little mysterious. I’ve caught him looking at me many times. He’s been around my area in the gym more lately - on the treadmill next to me, etc. I really want to talk to him, but then I don’t - I really don’t. But he’s all I’m thinking about, and I don’t even KNOW him. I daydream about encounters with him, and even sex. I don’t understand this part at all: my husband and I have a great sex life, my husband is very attractive (other mom’s from my circle of friends have commented on how handsome he is), and he’s so good to me. Yet I think of this guy, whom I don’t even know, not even sure if he’s thinking of me?!?!? We’ve shared long looks, and 45 minutes on treadmills next to each other a few times. That’s it! Strange how this can be!
No. I do not have a “secret” crush or even a crush my spouse knows about. I firmly believe if you’re secretly, or even openly, crushing on some other guy, despite the fact that this behavior is upsetting your husband and most likely making him feel incomplete as a man, you’re nothing more than a street walker that doesn’t deserve to be married or a mother because obviously, you haven’t grown up yet and still like being a slut. Unfortunately, you’re installing that slutty behavior into your kids to continue the cycle. For those wives that have taken the step further by actually sleeping with their crush, you’re worse than a street walker that deserves all the destruction you wrought upon yourself. I laugh everytime when women cry on the shoulders of others after being thrown away like the trash they are onto the streets alone because they cheated. Justice is bliss.
This is for (confused on April 15, at 9:22 pm) I think i feel the same way, but my crush usually is always inviting me to a hotel and telling me what hes going to do to me. Everything sounds so exiting that i have considered the option of going to a hotel with him, but i can not tell when he is being serious about it.
I just developed a crush on this guy my fiance knows, whom I had met a couple times but never really paid attention to - that is until a couple weeks ago. It was like meeting someone completely new for the first time. We were at a bar with my fiance and some of our friends, and he and I just stood outside talking for ages, and even then felt some strange magnetism to him.
This weekend, we all went camping. We kept finding reasons to run off together, not to do anything naughty, but just because we enjoyed being around each other. We were very playful. I knew there was something amiss when I kept hoping to find him in a dark corner.
I am engaged to be married in October. I’ve done this to myself before. Gotten out of a boring relationship for an exciting, temporary one. My fiance is stable, and loving, better looking that this crush, with parents who love me, and I know we can get a long for a while. I don’t even think this crush has feelings for me. It’s just throwing a wrench in to the gears of my mind.
I am feeling so bad and guilty. And then, on the other side, I feel exhilarated and love sick - the same way I felt when I met my fiance over two years ago. It’s very confusing. Amy I just wanting what I can’t have? Or am I freaking out because I’m about to be tied to one person for the rest of my life?
I’m really confused and freaked out by the intensity of feelings coming up for this new guy.
I have a deep crush on a fellow colleague (married and older) at another office.
The other day I caught him watching me at an event while I was waiting for my friend. My friend and I had to then walk by him…we stopped to say hello. He was on his cell phone and spoke only to my friend…and completely ignored me. Didn’t even look at me…or acknowledge me. I was devastated. When I mentioned to my friend that I was snubbed…she joked that he probably thinks I’m a “hot mama” and was nervous around me. I don’t know if I buy that. Am thinking that it’s all one-sided and I shouldn’t get too excited about it. It’s probably for the best.
I don’t know how to say this but I have had 2 crushes during our 9-yr marriage. We have 2 kids and I love my family. Deep down I’m the extremely shy type who never ever pursue guys and I have only had intercourse w my husband in my life. But socially and professionally, I have normal friendships w guys. I consider myself physically attractive (size 0 despite of 2 kids) and professionally successful, and a good mother.
The first crush happened abt a yr after our first one was born. My husband is a good person in general but he could say very hurtful things once in a while. So one day he yelled at me saying I was fat and should look at myself in the mirror, and that he would go look for someone else. I was outraged and up to this date I am still not completely over this is what he said to the mother of his child who was only 117 lbs at the time and the extra few lbs were a result of his own sperm… I was managing a project at the time and this single guy on my team confessed to me that he was completely attracted to me and he didn’t know what to do. I normally wouldn’t have reacted the way I did ( as I work in a male-dominant industry, unwanted attention is common and I am good at keeping people at bay…) but unfortunately w things domestically not going too well I started to have feelings for him, as he was very fit, dark, successful (has his own firm and consults w multiple clients), and we did have lots in common. Anyways, nothing over the board happened as I was very strict on not having any physical contact that’s beyond normal friends, and I turned down the expensive gifts from him including diamonds… To the most part at that point in time, for the sake of my kid and my own honor. Then, I accidentally got pregnant w husband again, and decided to get out of the confusing state and just focus on family. During my maternity leave the single guy left the company I was in, he still contacts me every once in a while but at least my crush was over ( or had to be over w/ the state I was in)…
Then the second crush happened abt a yr after our 2nd kid was born… I was re-orged under a new manager and I just clicked w him so well. He is tall, handsome, kind, smart, stylish, fit, funny, down to earth, married and has two kids of same age as mine, and we share so many common interests. I started lunching w him and his work buddies regularly and I also became the top performer on his team (I work very hard to earn that status, I always do so people don’t compromise my achievement because of the way I look, it’s not easy). He had high regard on my work and pushed hard to promote me in the organization. I was appreciative for what he did for me. I probably think of him more often than I should but I have never let my feelings out and have kept every interaction professional, plus, being married w two kids and really no time to daydream and that he is married too, there is absolutely no way this could be anything other than a good boss/employee relationship. It wouldnt have been a problem for me to maintain this but one day it kinda chained things on my end. So I stayed in his office a little late that day, as it was the deadline for everyone in my company to switch over to a new tool, and being new on my work computer that is on a completely different operating platform,
I don’t know how to say this but I have had 2 crushes during our 9-yr marriage. We have 2 kids and I love my family. Deep down I’m the extremely shy type who never ever pursue guys and I have only had intercourse w my husband in my life. But socially and professionally, I have normal friendships w guys. I consider myself physically attractive (size 0 despite of 2 kids) and professionally successful, and a good mother.
The first crush happened abt a yr after our first one was born. My husband is a good person in general but he could say very hurtful things once in a while. So one day he yelled at me saying I was fat and should look at myself in the mirror, and that he would go look for someone else. I was outraged and up to this date I am still not completely over this is what he said to the mother of his child who was only 117 lbs at the time and the extra few lbs were a result of his own sperm… I was managing a project at the time and this single guy on my team confessed to me that he was completely attracted to me and he didn’t know what to do. I normally wouldn’t have reacted the way I did ( as I work in a male-dominant industry, unwanted attention is common and I am good at keeping people at bay…) but unfortunately w things domestically not going too well I started to have feelings for him, as he was very fit, dark, successful (has his own firm and consults w multiple clients), and we did have lots in common. Anyways, nothing over the board happened as I was very strict on not having any physical contact that’s beyond normal friends, and I turned down the expensive gifts from him including diamonds… To the most part at that point in time, for the sake of my kid and my own honor. Then, I accidentally got pregnant w husband again, and decided to get out of the confusing state and just focus on family. During my maternity leave the single guy left the company I was in, he still contacts me every once in a while but at least my crush was over ( or had to be over w/ the state I was in)…
Then the second crush happened abt a yr after our 2nd kid was born… I was re-orged under a new manager and I just clicked w him so well. He is tall, handsome, kind, smart, stylish, fit, funny, down to earth, married and has two kids of same age as mine, and we share so many common interests. I started lunching w him and his work buddies regularly and I also became the top performer on his team (I work very hard to earn that status, I always do so people don’t compromise my achievement because of the way I look, it’s not easy). He had high regard on my work and pushed hard to promote me in the organization. I was appreciative for what he did for me. I probably think of him more often than I should but I have never let my feelings out and have kept every interaction professional, plus, being married w two kids and really no time to daydream and that he is married too, there is absolutely no way this could be anything other than a good boss/employee relationship. It wouldnt have been a problem for me to maintain this but one day it became different. So I stayed in his office a little late that day, as it was the deadline for everyone in my company to switch over to a new tool, and I just got a new laptop that is on a completely different operating platform and company policy was that platform is self-supported. So, I faced losing access to the tool next day, and I didn’t quite know how to do it on the new laptop. My boss had been using the same kind of laptop for a while so he kindly offered to help me out, no reason I should have said no. So the setup took a little time and after saying lots of thank you I was rushing my way back to pick up kid, drop kid off at home then ran to a school open house, w/ the only thing entered stomach being gulps of cold air. Mean while, didn’t realize my cell phone had a memory hang and was completely dead the whole time. After I got home, the very first thing I got, was my husband’s distorted face and yelling at me in the face, in front of both kids and my mother in law “WERE YOU SLEEPING W YOUR BOSS?!!!”… pause here… ladies anyone had worse than this? Guess what I had that night during the very few minutes of sleep I got between endless tears.. Yes a dream about my boss and his comforting smile and words… and that was how I started to have this crush and I am still not over it… My boss knows nothing about this, and I show no sign of domestic trouble at work… I really wish life isn’t this complicated. I am an honorable person and I am trying my best to maintain honorable… Now my boss has moved to a new group and he is asking me to move over too, I would in a heart beat for a good boss like this but I am scared to death of how the combination of my crush and unresolved domestic troubles will push me into…
Now that I’ve pushed this off my chest I feel so much better… Thank u for the site!
I am so glad we have this web site. I am hurting, I am trying so hard to stay away from my crush because I am sure I love him. And I don’t want to hurt anybody I know he does not like me. So I fell in love all by myself.
I have a crush on the site supervisor for the recently-completed construction project at work. I’ve been married for 16 years to a man I knew I didn’t like being with 17 years ago. We have a son.
I didn’t fall head over heels or have a love at first sight feeling about the site super, but between February and April I came to realize he was listening to me, and respected me, in ways that my husband doesn’t and that matter to me. Although the site super has a girlfriend and knows I’m married and have a child, he flirted with me anyway, in a very sweet and restrained if somewhat intense way. (Who knew construction workers could have intense, meaningful, eye-locking gazes? Well, they do, apparently.)
Although I’m not stomach-flutteringly in love with the super, I like him a great deal. I like him in a solid, want-to-know you better kind of way, punctuated with silly panicky feelings when I have to call him.
I try not to talk to him too much, because I have to respect his time on other job sites, but I love to hear the warmth in his voice when we talk, and I love to hear him laugh at things I say. I know he likes me.
The mellowness of the crush, and its durability, unnerve more than its existence. The reciprocity unnerves me, too; I know he’ll never do anything as long as I am married. And I know I won’t either, especially not with him. I respect us both too much for that. I value and enjoy the time I spend with him, and talking to him and like the fact that I can tell he enjoys it too, even if nothing ever happens.
He’s been a catalyst for me to go back to therapy to address the fact that I don’t really like my husband, and didn’t really want to marry him. Now we have a life together, a history, and a child. I can’t destroy that for a principle, and I won’t wreck how I like the super by ending my marriage.
After August I may never see the super again, but I’ll remember his voice and what he said, his fabulous profile, his blue eyes and black hair. And I’ll remember that there is more to life than settling, and that some men like women who are direct, strong, smart, and challenging. That may be enough for me to find a way to peace in this marriage.
I have a ridiculous and inappropriate crush on my boyfriend’s nephew. I won’t say my age or his but I’m 11 years older than him. It’s so stupid. We flirt pretty much whenever we see each other and did for awhile through text but I said we shouldn’t because of the ramifications if the texts were seen. There’s been a lot of touching, mostly on his part (he grabbed my ass!) and sexual innuendo. I know it’s completely stupid but I can’t get him out of my damn head. If only he weren’t so tall, dark and handsome.
I got another tattoo about 4 days ago. It was such an exhilarating experience…because I was head over heals for the tattoo artist.
I have been with my husband for 4 years. We’ve been through a lot of good things, but many bad things as well. We have a great connection and there is love between us…but I do not understand why this person had this effect on me.
He’s Colombian, I’m Colombian. He spoke with a soft, sweet tone…oddly enough he kept banging into me or bumping into me as I waiting in the chair for him to get the tattoo machine ready. He kept sweating…oh my god and his light blue eyes were that of a little boy’s…he would keep looking up at me as he was inking my wrist. I swear, tattoos never hurt me too much, but this one I did not even feel.
We spoke about art, about my design job in the city and his tattoo career taking off…His eyes were so full of expression…i’m just melting at the memory of gaze. I don’t know if it was purely a thing of my imagination,or if I did at least attract him in the way he did to me…UGH if I could only read his thoughts as he held my wrist in his hands…as i felt the warm breath from his mouth moisten my palm…omg I’m going crazy! this is crazy!!!
my hubby had stepped out for a moment from the parlor, and when he came back inside my attention was split now and I kind of calmed down. The tattoo artist was almost over. I didn’t want him to. He changed his gloves, complaining that his palms were really sweaty. He did this another time after this. I remember thinking, “Wow, he must have sweatier palms than me!” Perhaps he was nervous? or maybe this is a fragment of my overactive imagination as well? When everything was over my hubby (who is close with him) said his goodbyes as the artist explained to me that if I needed a touch up, he would do it for me for free…to come back in about 2weeks or so, so he could check up on it. My knees were weak…I was so upset, I was having a bad hair day…had a regular outfit on haha…had a tough day at work…yet this tat meant so much to me, and the hands that did it on me left me on fire. As i said my thank you’s and goodbyes, we shook hands and he winked at me with a shy grin on the corner of his mouth. Boy, was I ignited after that! I had that replaying over and over in my head afterwards.
I went to bed. I woke up the next day, consumed in thought over this man. I swear, I don’t know what this is but it is driving me insane. My hubby would be very upset if he found out, and I don’t want to cause the artist any problems either, he’s too sweet for that. I won’t lie though, I would die to know what it is like to have a kiss from him…to hear him whisper my name or to hold me…I think I’m going crazy. It’s been days already and he’s still in my head! I have to go see him again to check out my healing tattoo, and go over plans for another tattoo I was planning to get some weeks from now. He’s an excellent artist before being anything else, but he is driving me crazy…I don’t know what to do. I know I SHOULD NOT act on this, but part of me feels like giving in and seeing where it might go…I know I’m kinda messed up in the head…but I don’t know what to do.
I am obsessed with my husband’s best friend. He just used to be a really friendly guy and then Tuesday my husband went over to the guy’s apartment to hang out a little bit. Long story short I helped him fix his toilet and he had to stand close to me I was so turned on I could not believe it. He is going through a nasty divorce, his estranged wife would tell me how he would compare the two of us and say that he wanted her to be more like me. My marriage is pretty good and I do not want to destroy anything, But I am being tortured in my mind all I do is think about him. I have cheated in the past and do not want to go down that road but the feelings are so strong there is no way he could not feel what was happening between us. I will just have to get over this *sigh* perhaps a different place or time and it would have been him and I, sometimes life just sucks.
Sorry for the confusion, My husband and I both went to the apartment, I just ended up fixing his friend’s toilet and hoping that maybe one day he will clean my pipes. How do people go on for years like this? I am at my wit’s end after just a few days! Anybody been through this for years could you offer me advice? They really are best friends and I cannot destroy that or my children for being selfish. I just need to learn how to cope.