Do you ever feel lonely?
June 2nd, 2008
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123 Responses to “Do you ever feel lonely?”
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No - and I’m thankful for that.
I feel lonely all. the. time. It’s weird, I have a wonderful husband, four children, and live in a friendly, involved community where church activity is high but I still feel very lonely…why?
I feel lonely a lot. I had lots of friends before we moved to our current home, but I don’t have friends here, and my old friends don’t keep in contact with me (they had plenty of people to take my place). I know part of it is my fault for not actively trying to make friends, but I’ve never been that kind of person. So yes, I feel lonely.
Yes. Just recently I have been feeling really lonely. I am a single mom who has never been married. All my family live on the other side of the country so I don’t get to see them often. I usually hang out with my 2 boys but they are getting to the age where they don’t want to hang out with mom. I have some friends but I feel like a wheel that doesn’t belong because they are all married with kids and sometimes I feel that they ask me over because they know I’m alone. I don’t have a boyfriend because it seems like most of the men I meet don’t want to go out once they find out I have kids. I’m lonely!!!!
Yes…I feel no one truly knows me, want to know me, loves me, or want to love me - save my children that is, but it’s a different kind of love and it’s about them. But for me personally, as a wife, as a friend, as a woman, as a daughter- I feel very alone and just here to serve others and their needs. It is very disheartening to feel so alone amidst a life so chockful of activity and people.
yep, just about all the time.
Almost every moment of every day. Yes.
My children are in foster care. My husband and I had a fight. The police were called and the children were removed. We were supposed to go to court next week to maybe get them back. We see them every week, I don’t know if I’ll see them this week. I don’t have money forthe bus and my husband is gone now.
My husband went to work yesterday and, hours after he should have been home, I got call from a stranger who said that my husband needs some time away from me. I haven’t heard from him for almost 24 hours. I tried calling him, but he turned of his phone.
If he wants to be done with me, fine. All I want is to know what’s next. I don’t have a place to go if he wants me gone. This is his house. Besides, how could i live here alone when all the people I love are gone. I won’t be able to get the kids back without him.
I don’ tknow what’s goingon. It feels like I’m the only person in the world. I’ve gone from having two wonderful, loving babies to having none. From having aloving, gentlehusband to having one who need time away from me.
If i wasn’t pregnant, iwouldn’t be here anymore. I’m due in the fall. I will never see the baby. Once I have thebaby I’m going to disappear. No one will notice that I’m gone. I miss my babies. I miss waking up with them early while their Daddy sleeps late. I miss them all. I miss my family and without them I don’tsee a reason to be here.
Lonely doesn’t even cover it.
Wow, after reading the above posts I don’t feel so lonely anymore. I hope you can get your children back Ms. Anonymous on June 17, 2008 10:27 am.
Yes. And the worst kind of loneliness…being married long term, trapped, and feeling all alone.
Almost everyday. I’ve cut myself off from life for 2 years due to always feeling sick. Now that I am better I don’t know where to pick things up.
I’ve felt lonely for as long as I can remember. Even as a kid. I’ve never had close friends or a girlfriend. As time passes its gotten worse. That may be because at 36 I’m starting to feel like its too late to be happy. How many 36 yr olds have never had a girlfriend? None that I’ve ever met. The worst times are when I wake in the middle of the night, and I feel an incredible saddness and loneliness. I dont ever remember dreaming about anything, just an overwhelming feeling of despair. Luckliy it fades pretty quick, or I’d not likely be here to type this.
I have a wonderful husband, 2 energetic toddlers and lots of people who want to hang out with me… but I don’t want to see any of them! Somehow I have the dysfuntion of being incredibly lonely, and just wanting all of these people to go away and leave me alone. I’m such a mess.
yes i went from working full time and being around adults all the time and having a great support system and then my best friend moved crozz country and I am alone most of the time I hate feeling the way i do… but I can’t get my husband to ggo somewhere where we might both have friends.
I have just moved house to another town and I actually preferred living in my previous location, I feel so lonely here now, I would love to move back but cant because of the falling housing market….I cry all the time.
I have a very loving and kind husband. We live in a big city with lots of people that seem to be in a different world than where I’m from. Grew up and lived in a blue collar town where people were very down to earth. Not to disrespect anyone in my new city, but they are just different. Very hard to make friends, or deep friendships. I am pained with feelings of lonliness. I really want to make connections and deeper relationships but feel like its impossible. I even pray to God for a good friend.
I understand how everyone on this board feels.
I lost my parents and my brother in the past five years.
My daughter and husband take, take, take…I serve and constantly do for them and the children in my preschool. I get nothing in return from any of them. I miss my family, I have no friends or adult conversations anymore. I miss my friend who moved to another state. My best friend has a new love in her life and she has no time for me anymore.
I miss my parents and my brother so much. We loved and cared for one another and it was always give and take. I live with selfish people now who only take…I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I eat to fill the emptiness and I look 10 years older than my age due to stress. When will life get better. When will I meet someone that I can really relate to, and develop a deep friendship with? I despise southern CA…I wish I never left San Francisco. The famous song applies, that is where my heart remains.
yes and no. I am happy being me. I am happy being single +1, but there are times when I feel a deep longing to be intimate with someone again. I miss deep conversations and snuggling on the couch. So I suppose there are times that my soul is lonely. There are even times my spirit feels lonely. Luckily, this type of loneliness is the easiest to fix for me. The times when my spirit is groaning and broken are always the times I’m too focused on myself and not on my Creator. Do I want someone physical to hold me and love me? absolutely! But not to try to sound super “holy” or anything, I am way more concerned about the times that my spirit feels lonely.
Yes. I am always searching the topic of loneliness on the internet trying to figure out why. I have two great children with another on the way and a very loving husband. I still feel like no one knows me though. It is so hard to describe. I feel so alone in this huge world. I see all of these people with their close families and all I have is my kids and husband, that’s it. To some people that may be enough, but to me for some reason, it’s not. As far back as I can remember I’ve never had many close friends. In high school I was considered “popular” because I knew everyone but I only had one close friend. I remember coming home from school crying because I never felt like I had a connection with anyone. I am so tired of being lonely. It is a daily wonder in my mind, if this feeling will EVER go away.
Yes most of the time I feel lonely with the same drudgery of everyday. I homeschool our two so its just us most days and with my husband working nights somedays seem longer than others. I started to see a therapist but I didnt feel like I could be completely honest about me so I stopped. I have my husband but he works 6 days a week so I hate for it to be the kids did this and that and I’m so tired when he is too. We moved away from all (most) of my friends back home. But most of my friends I’ve know since high school 20 years ago so they are always just a phone call away but its would be nice to actually get to see some once in awhile. I have no real friends here where we live.
I’m so lonely right now. I feel like I just don’t have a place in the world. My husband is busy with a new career, meeting new people going new places and here I sit in my lonely apartment while my daughter sleeps. I have no friends in this town and in your late 20’s friendship doesn’t come easily or quickly. I feel washed up, worn our and just plain tired. I am starting to feel numb to everything around me. I long for your adult companionship. I no longer feel interesting to my husband, I was once a beautiful, thin, career woman. No I am just a skinny Mom with no time to shop, and no reason to get dress up b/c I never have anywhere to go. I still put my make up on and do my hair everyday but it honestly just doesn’t feel worth my time anymore, no one ever seems to notice. So to answer the question, YES I AM LONELY>
I seem to have friends and they call me a friend but I feel like I have no one close to share my joys or sadness. All my friends seem to have their close buddies and I’m always the one tagging along in life. Because of this, I’ve built up a persona that seems independent and I dont’ need anymoe. But what I really need is the opposite. Maybe its because of that, people stay away so it becomes a never endng cycle. Family aren’t close so it means whatever I feel, I feel myself. Its been like this for many many many years. I’m tired of loneliness, but it seems its all I know.
yep I do. it sucks. even with people alone I still feel lonely
I feel sooo lonely like no one acknowledges my feelings or needs. Just tonight when I told my husband how lonely I feel at social events sometime he told me that it wasn’t his fault I had no one to talk to and that it wasn’t his problem that it was mine.
I feel sooo lonely because when I try to get advise from my mom she always takes his side so that I don’t hold anything against her. Please I need comprehensiob and love not someone judging me. please someone I need love I need affection. I want my husband to understand and have compassion, not be judgemental, I want to be drunk so that i don’t have to feel anything
Yes, I do often feel lonely. I’m married with two kids, work part time, but still don’t feel as if I “belong”. I have hardly anyone I would count as a friend, this depresses me.
I am single mother, yes I feel lonely most of the time.
Yes, I feel lonely, often. I am a single mother with two kids. We currently live with my boyfriend. However, like Debs, I feel like I don’t belong. I have a few friends and my 3 existing family members don’t include me and my children much. That is very depressing. I have people in my life; caring, loving, wonderful people; yet I still feel soooo alone. I do know that depression has some impact on these feelings, but given that, it’s when I need to be NOT alone most of all.
I feel really lonely when I am not with my friends. Even at home with family I still feel lonely without my friends around, so much so I feel slightly depressed.
married for 5 yrs ..3 yrs old son ..amazing husband…we live in new york..i came to home country india for some work .. n now i feel i shudnt go back to him… becos with my loneliness over all the yrs.. i hv become ill mannered n always pick up fights with him..
after having baby i cud not get back to work..and then this economy recession..i m trying alot to get a job n be self dependent..to get back my self esteem..but somehow its not happening..
husband has very high goals for himself..n he is very well acheiving it also .. i feel left out way back… taking care of kid at home is not the only thing i want to do all my life… i too had a career and i m missing all that now..
so i finally took a break from new york ..and came back to my asia..my hometown ..now m planning to take up some job offer…
husband is not happy with my decision..but this time i want to do something for myself.. i want to hv a job..feel good about myself..
i knw its painful to be away frm husband..ppl do ask all sort of questions ..trying to knw all the feelings n story behind..
i dont knw if i m doing right or not..pls advise..shud i go back to new york n join my husband…and keep trying for job..which may/may not happen..n i be the same person all my life…feeling lonely
or i shud stay back here in asia..my hometown n get a job …and feel good abt getting back my career…
eitherway i m going to feel lonely… can someone advise me something more better.. n accurate..
- i feel he too sometimes doesnt like me being lazing around in the house…becos he keeps pushing me now an then to get back to work..so getting a job is really imp for me…wherever i stay in this damn world !
pls suggest
I started to feel lonely recently because I saw people around me in relationships such as girlfriend/boyfriend, engaged, or newly weds. It seems more and more getting hitched except me. I never dated or anything, because it was my choice and a contract between me and God. I told God I will look when the time is right. I did look for over a year, but Mr Right didn’t show up. Right now I feel the loneliness more because I guess I am going a transition phase because I am coming closer to getting married. I wonder when will that happen and how God will bring him? I guess it’s a desire in my heart and when I see myself eating dinner alone or something, it has to do with loneliness and the desire to get married soon. Yeah, I feel lonely…but not alone cause of God.
i have friends that say i’m a friend and invite me to some things, but i could not say a word around them and no one would notice. i went away travelling for an extended time and no one knew I was leaving or when I was coming back. there was no wish on there behalf to share my stories, my sad times and my happy times. It’s like they are all acquantances and not real friends. i know they have lives and i’m quite shy so i need to make an effort but i try a little and no one would notice. Instead I spend my time with my parents and brother but they have lives too that they need to live.
Why can’t i just find the people i need. When did friendship become such a hard thing? Being lonely hurts worst of all.
I have plenty of friends and all but I feel lonely especially when I see people in a relationship and they are happy. Because it represents everything I want and wish I had. I never known the experience of having a girlfriend
yes all the time. sometimes i just want that somebody listen to me .. i feel like i dont have any friends at all…
For some reason like at this moment in time i suddenly just go from being happy to feeling lonely but have no idea why.. When this happens i start to question me and my girlfriends relationship but at the same time really want to see her. It seems to happen when i know i wont see her for days but look forward to seeing her. I dont want to break up with her so what is going on?
I feel so alone sometimes. I’ve been married for 3 years with a baby due any day now. my family live so far away and I live with my husbands family. his brothers don’t talk to me much even though we live in the same house! I don’t get on with my mother in law. I feel like she doesn’t know me at all and isn’t bothered to try. i’ve done everything to build up relationships but they all seem so reserved. I feel lost and spend most days in my room on my own. i have friends here but they arent that close to me. I look for attention from my husband, he doesn’t mind spending time with me but I know he has work, friends and a life too so I don’t want to be a burden. all I want is to be happy and open with the family around me, to have a laugh and to have someone to share things with but most of all to be noticed.
i am very lonely. i had to take a year off of medical school because i am pregnant, and now i do not know what to do with myself. my husband works from 730 am to 830 pm and i’m just at home all day by myself. i hate it. i had to move away from my friends in order to go to school so i am about five hours away from all of them and about two hours away from family. i’m hoping that when the baby comes…i won’t be as lonely, but i’m already so sick of being alone that i’m not sure if being busy with a baby will help. i have no idea what to do. i am thankful that he works to support us while i am off of school. i signed up to volunteer at a domestic violence shelter…i’m hoping that it gives me something to do, but i’m worried that the lonliness is just going to continue…
I moved to my husband’s hometown and have no family in this state. His family doesn’t seem to like me much and it’s a small town with mostly standoffish people, so making friends has been impossible. My husband is wonderful and I have a beautiful little girl, and a baby boy on the way in 4 months, yet I am still so lonely. My family and the one friend I’m still sorta in touch with are all busy with their own lives and I rarely see them and only get to speak with them occasionally. I feel like I have no support system here besides my husband, and he feels hurt that he’s “not enough,” but I can’t help but feel lonely sometimes.
yes. he’s a homebody, so i do a lot of stuff by myself. he’s in a standoffish mode, so not touching me or talking to me much lately. i feel lonely and unloved.
all my life i have felt lonely. i never had a real friend. i never trust anyone. i can’t trust people. I don’t trust my own family. I don’t even talk with my mother. she’s a wreck! I’m just alone on this planet. I just wait for the day that i could find just one person to share my loneliness with.
This is my status:
I am a happy mother…..
A bored wife…
and a sad and lonely woman….No kisses, No hughs, No sex.
Yes, I am married for 17 years!
My daughters are the light of my life, without them I am in a complete cold and dark life.
I feel my loneliest when my husband and I go off for a romantic weekend at the beach with a riverfront room and he is too tired to make love and goes to sleep while I sit here.
i also feel, lonely; i am single mother, my baby is adorable, i feel so much pain in my heart, i can`t forget my baby^s father. he doesn`t love me. even he says yes, but never has demonstrated it. i live with my parents and my brother, they have support me all moment, in spite of,
I feel lonely and trapped in my life. From the outside, it looks like I have it all. A seemingly successful business, great kids, a supportive wonderful husband. I really dont know what my problem is. I am surrounded by people all day who look to me for support and to give them advice, to be the one whose “got it together”. I feel so stressed trying to keep my business afloat. I work from 8 and dont get home until 11 pm everynight (except Sundays where i work until 5 pm). I have no life. My house is a mess - I have no time to clean and no money to pay for someone to do it for me. I feel like my house is a total reflection of my insides - a mess. I feel like a horrible mother because all I do is “the business”. I feel so depressed. Sometimes I wonder what the hell I was thinking starting this business, but I dont know what to do. I have so much debt and bills from this that there is no way I could stop.
Its like quicksand. I feel like crying when no one can see me.
I dont know how to be happy - people think I am - Im good at faking it.
Then I think about how life could be worse and it makes me feel pathetic. I keep trying to say positive things to myself, but it doesnt help. I have stopped talking to friends because I dont want to drag the rest of the world down with me and I dont even really know how to explain how I feel. I dont want pity, I just want to be happy - I want someone to help me feel that - I dont think I have ever really been happy.
i just moved to a new place and pregnant, I can’t go out and meet people because I have no job and I’m sick all the time with morning sickness. My husband is out making friends and leaving me at home, I don’t like it and it hurts my feelings that I am sitting here alone so much. I get that he should not suffer too but I feel so lonely and have expressed that to him at least he has me whenever he wants.
well looking at this site im not feeling as bad knowing im not the only one!! its good to know.. I feel the same as everyone. I think we are all looking to connect to someone or somthing.. We dont have the answers of why we are here on this planet living this life so we want to feel safe and that we belong and we are part of things, people and if we dont its like whats the point of our existence.. The thing is life is lonely just some feel it more than others or it will catch people at different times in there life. The one thing i know is we are born alone and we die alone..I hope thats not to deep??!! Just know youre not on your own feeling lonely looks like we are all doing it. love to all of you. xx
I’m a single woman, with two grown daughters, 1 beautful little granddaughter, and grandbaby #2 to arrive September 3. I am attractive, intelligent, well-educated and have a good personality and a funny sense of humor. I have pretty good relationships with both daughters (ages 26 and 24). I have a job I love, but it tires me out so much that I work 8+ hours, go home, get into jammies, eat something and go to bed. I literally go to bed at 6:30 some nights, which isn’t bad really, as I am into getting more than enough sleep. I just have had so many terrible experiences with men (very bad marriage for 9 years, many ltr’s with untrustworthy men) and have been single since 1999. Oftentimes, I feel cross and judgmental of people but then I turn around and I am alone and feel lonely, and really need someone to talk to, but don’t make the effort to get together with anyone and then complain about feeling lonely. Not sure why.
Reading these comments made me feel a little better, because for some reason, this weekend in particular, I feel very lonely. I did my jogging and that seemed to help…I drank a little too much wine today, but it actually did take the edge off the loneliness today. Reminds me of the Beatles sone, “all the lonely people, where do they all come from?” Yeah, I think there are a lot of lonely people in this society. I wonder if loneliness is less prevalent in other countries, where families and extended families are closer knit?
I do not know why, but i feel lonely almost all of the time. I have felt lonely almost all my life even though I have a great family, friends and a boyfriend who adores me. I just feel that when things get rough, or go bad…no one wants to be there to support me emotionally. I have been moving to different countries for most of my life, so making very close friendships have been hard. I do not feel like I can turn to my friends for help because I think they feel its a hustle. I have always been there for them…but they never want to listen when I need them.
My family is there for me…but only financially…I can not really talk to my mother about anything serious and my father is always at work. Most of the time he does not like to listen to my problems.
My boyfriend tries to help me whenever possible, but he thinks I exaggerate about feeling lonely and that it is just a stupid little thing that will pass. Its been four years and I still feel the same way… if anything it is getting worse. I do not know what will be enough for them to realize that I am very lonely and slowly feeling depressed and I cant ask for help from anyone because everyone just runs away. The only thing that keeps me going is that I am grateful for everything I have, that it could be a lot worse…
im not only sad and lonely , im also burned out because of my job (nurse) and depressed…
I get lonely at times especially when I dont have any plans on Saturday night. I used to have a boyfriend but he died 4 years ago and I cant seem to find someone as great and nice. But I see I am not alone. I guess that can give us all comfort.
Well I always feel lonely since I was a child now Im with my 3 year old daughter in my apartment …lonely I feel like she gonna be like me too…it sucks I want to do so many things for her and I cant..Im 34 years old and Iam scared.No friends, no husband..just work and 4 walls to see every day.Im so tired to live like this .
I feel so lonely right now. I think my 11 year marriage is dying and my husband doesn’t care. I love him but he doesn’t want to put forth the effort to show me love. I have completely emotionally withdrawn from him for the last 2 weeks. He didn’t even notice. Or if he did, he doesn’t care enough to say something about it. I don’t think I am worth the effort to him. I don’t want to divorce, I just wish he … loved me the way I love him. I don’t think he ever has.
Is it a perpetual habit to be lonely? I have been wondering. I too have a beautiful family three beautiful children, a good job and a dog. And yet I am so lonely. I have one friend from childhood, but she lives a few states away and quite honestly she has been living a completely different kind of life and has plenty of friends she can hang out with. Don’t get me wrong- I love it when I get together with her and we have a blast whenever those stars align and we can work out our schedules to get together. But, here I am married for 10 years and my husband had recently in the past few years found his nitch of friends and he was my one really close friend and we used to talk about everything and just hang out together, but now his recreational time revolves around his friends. Which is all fine and dandy and I have accepted that he deserves these friendships and relationships and its good and healthy for him. But, I can’t help feeling like I have lost my one real friend and now I have no one. I have essentially stopped talking to him about anything that matters to me because it hurts too much. I feel like I am always intruding on his time. Like I am the third wheel hanging around. And my friend, love her to death but god I feel like she already heard this story from me and no need to drag her down.
And god of course this year I am turning 30. But, its not like I am worried about “getting old” actually I am rather looking forward to turning 30. Except the fact that it is a milestone birthday and I don’t have a damn soul to celebrate it with. Oh, my husband may be around. But, he has never been one to plan anything and I certainly can’t count on him to take the initiative to find a babysitter and take me out. Plus, we don’t go out anymore. He goes out with his friends and spends his free time with his friends as much as possible. I am pretty sure that I will end up at home with all the kids gulping down as much wine as I can possibly stomach just to crush the pain of being so lonely. Needless to say that added to the usual lonely feeling has got me on “SUPER-DUPER LONELY”.
Mariah, I just read your post and I feel exactly the
Same. I have always been lonely, as a child, all
Through school and now I have a husband and a 6
Year old daughter and the loneliness is killing
Me. I thought being married with a child would
Change things but it hasn’t. I have this awful
Ache in me as I write and I just feel so sad
With loneliness. I am a housewife so my life is
My husband, my daughter and 4 Walls and
Loneliness.
Hi there I have just posted my comment, if
Anyone wants to email me please do, I would
Love to hear from you
I feel lonely because I’m the youngest in my family and all of my siblings’ children are much older than mine. We’re at different points in our lives; my siblings are all working again; I’m home with the kids. My husband only has one brother and lives far away and we live a little far from our parents. Plus I stay home and I’m not exactly the most outgoing person when it comes to making new friends.
Yes, at times I feel lonely. Around six months ago I moved from Florida to Los Angeles, and perhaps that says it all! I moved because I got married to the man of my dreams….Great! However,it’s as though everyone is in a hurry and has some sort of hang-up or game to play here in the “City of the Angels.” My husband has introduced me to some very nice friends of his and their girlfriends, but the women realy only want a surface relationship. I’m very independent and so I can stand being alone, but not feeling lonely…Other times I do feel lonely. The answer is to make it happen for myself, I am responsible for my own happiness, just like when I was single. Until that time, I’ll just keep emaiing and calling friends from my former city.. = )
I am lonely even though most don’t know it. I am emotionally empty, my husband has never been one to fill me up at all. I have 4 grown kids, 2 that don’t speak to me, one withholds 3 of my grandkids,of which the oldest I basically raised for 6 years( she is now going to be 10 this month). I wake up in the middle of the night crying. I have a job I love, it is the only thing I feel any satisfaction in. I feel I am only basically good enough to use and then people will like me. I wish I had a friend to do things with, but I don’t. I have a friend who is a friend when it is convenient. I guess that is not a true friend at all. I wish my husband would just be honest and say he wants a divorce, at least then I could say see it isn’t just me. We do nothing together, my life is the same day in and day out. I have 3 other grandchildren I do get to see, but lets be honest I am the grandmother and they shouldn’t be my whole existance - but there is nothing else.
I moved 1-1/2 yr ago due to a transfer thru my job from Florida to Nashville TN and in my 56 yrs of living have NEVER lived in such a horrible place. I haven’t made any friends at all….I have tried everything, craigslist posting, joined a bowling league, met people at work, yard sales, day trips, ladies clubs, etc…no one has time or interest in being friends with a middle aged single lady. Usually I never have an issue making a friend anywhere I go there are never strangers. Only in Nashville! God I hate this place. I want to go back to FL so bad but can’t get a transfer to go I have been trying non stop for a year but nothing has come thru. I have never been so unhappy and so alone. I often think if I were to get sick or have a stroke or heart attack - I would die here alone and no one would come looking for me … it scares the hell out of me. All my wonderful loving kind friends are in FL and I miss them terribly…I am so trapped here and I die a little more with each passing day. Please pray for me that I get my transfer back to FL. I don’t want to be alone here anymore…….
im 30 and ive lived the life of an 80 yr old! ive been through war, bullied in school, married without love, divorced from an abusive husband, never had a boyfriend, never heard those three words “i love you”, im in university but every1 is half my age, i suffer from insomnia but when i do get any sleep i have bad dreams, every1 has someone , my sister is married with 2 boys, dont have any1 to talk to i feel ugly, unwanted and worthless so feeling lonely is just the half of it!
When you know you’re the only one, but an island in a sea of humanity… you feel lonely. When you’re afraid to get involved, attach yourself to other islands… it gets lonely.
I need someone to reach out from their island, and grab hold of mine, before it drifts out of reach entirely. I cannot seek others for solace. Help me… please?
I’m a 27 year old single mother of one. I feel so lonely!! I feel depressed right now. I feel like no one understands me. My family lives across the country and have issues. I just wish that things were different. I feel ugly and lonely
It’s my birthday today and I know I just turned 30 years old at midnight but I already know its going to be hard day. I have 2 children and live with my boyfriend. He thought it was very important to get him another cell phone since his broke, but guess what my birthday wasnt important enough for him to get me anything. Non the less he went out with his friends and just called to wish me a Happy Birthday while I am home with the kids. Whats even worse is that maybe after 4 years I should be used to it since he always leaves me for special occasions like Christmas and even Valentines. Guess what also no gifts, Im sorry I got pair of sneakers once for Christmas and an I love you chain the first Valentine!!! What do I do I guess I already know that answer……… I feel so lonely and unloved….
I felt I was truly on my own in this world, my family are overseas, I am a young sixty one year old and I don’t look my age or feel it so life should be good. But not having a family or single friends that drop in is very hard. I do have friends but they are married and have big families that take up most of their time. I feel very lost and if it wasn’t for my little dog I would not really want to go on in this life. I do talk to people and try to make more friends, but they have families and partners and not much time. I don’t know how I got to this point in life. I am a Christian but I pray for God to help me find new friends and a partner in life but I guess the answer is no.
Patricia.. I was just reading ur message and thought maybe u could find a church..? u may go to one but u could still have a look around.. u never know but god may have thos friends and a nice man for u out there but u may just have to go looking.. trust in god.! i know life can be lonely but there are alot of people out there that feel the same as u so lets all find each other. Sounds like ur little dog needs u.
dont feel to down im thinking of u. xxxxxxxxxx
For everyone here who feels so lonely.. just by reading your posts you can see that there must be many, many people living so close to you who feel lonely. I think the best thing is to get out and meet new people. How? Join a club, find a new hobby, reading, writing, sports clubs or art activities. There must be so many people out there who understand you and who would love to be your friends. Don’t give up, don’t think about your loneliness but how to change it. Its difficult to do the first step, but without it you will stay in the same frame of mind. I feel lonely too but i’m desperate to change it. I wish you all good luck with finding new friends and standing up to the obstacles of life.
to Anonymous on July 28, 2009 11:50 pm : you deserve a man who will truly love you, value you and someone who will make you happy…not the man you are with.
I feel lonely and I have feelings of guilt for not conecting, for feeling so needy sometimes that I mess up my chances of geting friends. I question myself often. What am I doing wrong to find so difficult to get a love, friends, family that cares. Is it my fault maybe? Am I so awfull? . I feel inadecuate and like a faulty soul…..
Had a fight with my husband today about my upcoming birthday and my son’s first birthday, which is around the same time. My usually supportive husband doesn’t seem to care about either occasions. He only seems to be looking forward to his baseball tournament that same weekend and has decided to go away for it, despite knowing how disapointed I would be. In fact, he only seems to be interested in himself these days. His sports, his TV, his sleep, his down time… Being a new mom, I feel like I have to put aside all of my wants and needs to care for our son and our house. That leaves me feeling all alone. I wish I could receive more support emotionally and help. I feel so lonely and uncared for at times…it’s like I’m the lowest on the list, all the time.
I feel lonely all the time. It does not help that I work at a kids store that everyone that walks in is taken and really happy. What is worse is that I’m 19 and I feel like I’m going to always be lonely. I started to feel like this when I like 11 and it gets harder each day. I haven’t had a boyfriend in almost three years and my peers are trying to find a guy for me, which makes me feel worse about myself. I have guys give me compliments on my looks, but I never get asked out. What is worse is that I wake up every morning and think how I might never have someone to wake up besides. It’s just so hard all the time.
i feel lonely esp when im among married couples and seeing all of them having thier own life and command over life.i wisn i can have shoulder to cry on, to share my dreams, to live life with love
As a little girl you dream of marriage and it being the happiest time of your life, then for atleast some of us….our dreams fall short. I’m lonely daily even though my husband and I are together 24/7 due to a business. I felt more alive and happy while I was single. If I had to do it over again, I’d said no.
Stumbled across this website and its going to feel so good putting all this down in words ! Had such a lonely past, although from a ‘good’ family where coldness was the order of the day. Late in life (just turned 47) I thought I had finally found the sort of man to ease my heart, my loneliness though we are from different cultures etc - we are already living together so why are there days when I am aware that how he reacts makes me feel cold inside and lonely, though to be fair I am sure he does not mean for me to hurt. I guess I am too needy emotionally, I need somebody to enjoy the love and attention I lavish on him, whereas he comes from a culture where males and females tend to lead separate lives and meet inside the home. Though I take care to put the brakes on, I think he has led such a loner existence that he feels stifled by all my affection. Perhaps time will pass and we will blend together more …. I pray it is so … I don’t want more goodbyes in my life and have thanked God so often for finding him for me.
I am lonely a lot, I never laugh or very rarely, I only feel happy when I am with members of my family. I have so much stress in my life and a husband who has never matured. That is really the root of my loneliness I never feel connected to him. He takes medication for anxiety, looks stoned a lot, and I know that he is an adictive personality so it is only a matter of time. It is always about him and our son copies his behavior. My husband does not have a mature way to deal with his anger; he has road rage and behaves in an inappropriate manner when dealing with things that anger him. We have not had sex in 6 years. I have no relationship. I do most things alone and when we are together I try to pretend that we have a relationship I try so hard to make myself believe that this is normal. I cannot connect with my husband, he is in his own world. We have tried marriage counseling but it goes nowhere. My husband comes first and refuses to believe this. He constantly tells me he does everything he does for me, even when I tell him it is not for me.
Tonight my husband had to work a long shift when he came home it was as if he was drunk, slurring his words, I was disgusted. He refuses to believe that this is the way he is acting, he tells me again and again that he is tired but he is out of it. He refuses to listen to anything I say. He went to a dietician because he is overweight. He comes home and tells me things that I have told him before as if it was the first time he had ever heard it. I do not bother saying anything I think I should just be happy he is taking responsibilty for his health. When he behaves like this I do not even want to be near him. When he realizes I am being quiet and trying to keep busy he behaves like a child wanting attention. He tells me that at least he does not hit me. I get sick when he says this as this is his mentality. I want to cry, cry, and cry. I cannot believe that I have this life. I would leave but I am so concerned about the impact on my son and I feel tremendous guilt. I am so alone in this. I know I could take care of a child by myself but I would be afraid of leaving him with his father as I feel that he would not be able to deal wiht this as his cannot deal with most things. I have a good job and know I could work things out, when we argue he asks me what he is going to do where would he go if we divorce. I used to think he could handle things but that was a long time ago. I want to know what the right thing to do is. I feel like my life moves along, I pretend, and it kills me. I am not honest with others, with myself and I feel like a failure. I am so twisted, I am broken. My husband tells me I need to lighten up. I feel like a brick, hard all over, but I pretend for my son.
Yes I am so lonely. I don’t know why.. Loneliness seems to surround me, it suffocates me. I put on a happy face each day pretending to be happy or just to blend with those around me. I hope sometime this agony will end.
Wow. When I googled “husband works too much and you feel lonely” I never imagined finding a site where what I was reading was the thoughts that go through my head on a daily basis. My husband is really good to me - takes me on nice trips, buys me nice things, etc., but he doesn’t know me. I feel more alive and fulfilled when he’s traveling for work because my kids compliment more of what I do than he does. It’s so hard to explain. I really do love him, but almost wish I could give him a reason to not want to be with me. I feel like that way my lonliness could be justified. Is it females? Our hormones? Our need for emotional fulfillment? Is it too much to ask to be moved up on his priority list? UGH.
I am living with my fiancee at his moms house and we share a bedroom. that is where we stay “confined.” he is an arms length away at most times, and yet i’m lonely and bored. He would rather spend time on the computer than with me. I spend lots of time on the computer too, but as I have told him, i would give it up in a heartbeat to spend time with him. The only time we ever go out is to work, the grocery store or to run my son around. We get invited out, but he always has an excuse not to go. Yes, I can go out by myself, but i want him accompanying me…. I feel like I have been mislead by this man who claimed to be a social person… When I tell him how I feel, it only makes him angry and he won’t talk to me for days. So for now, I cry my tears of lonliness, being unheard and feeling unseen to him. I know it shouldn’t, but it makes me question who I am and if I am desirable, and if he really wants me. I feel like he did just enough in the beginning to get me and then he had to do no more. I don’t think i have changed nor have my desires. I simply want to held, to be loved, to be adored… I want someone to talk to, share my desires, my dreams… I want someone who’s commmited to me and to talking to me and not just answering “friends” on FB and searching for new friends when his best friend is sitting right here. I would ask what I should do, but I think I already know the answer…. I think it’s time to move on! The next question would be “HOW?” No one, I mean no one, likes to be taken for granted!
me too
I havn’t had any close friends in years. I just moved to a new town & was sooooo happy to meet a woman with children the same age. She called me at least 1x per day & we went walking everyday in the nice weather with the younger ones in strollers. I should have noticed though - that although she was fun - she gossipped & complained about everyone & every situation. Then a series of things happened - our boys fighting for one thing. We were going to start a walking group together - but she put up signs & attemped to do this on her own. It hurt really bad - I didn’t know whether she was a nut to avoid or what - so we didn’t speak. But since she was my only really active friend in my life - i miss her. I’m very lonly without her calls & interaction. Do I keep being mistreated (I suspect she gossips about me) or speak with he to preserve a possibly toxic friendship or hope it will get better. I need girlfriends soooo bad - I pray all the time for them. Yes - I too feel dreadfully lonly. I took Prozac & it really helps - especially with interacting with other people - people seem to like me more - but the side effects are awful - I gain wait, have no desire for sex with my husband & don’t get anything done - i’m just a happy lump with good social skills. But the prozac does somehow magnetize people towards me - it’s so depressing looking at the answering machine 7 it’s always blinking a big fat O.
To Anonymous June 17, 2008,
I can here cause I just felt so rock bottom at this time. My husband lost his job 8 mos ago, and I just wanted to be heard tonight. But after reading your post it touch my heart, and I cried for you.. I hope your husband just needs to regain his strength, to come back home to you. And can be strong again, so you and he can get your babies back. I pray you have some good news soon, be strong I wish you good Karma…
all l can say is wow so many feel the same, im a 25 years old and have a beautiful 5 year old my husband works alote sex is great but the emotional support is not there i get told im beautiful by everyone but him i need huggs conversation a slap SOMETHING well maybe not that but almost going crazy gave him chance after chance i left 2 came back and nothing even though it hit rockbottom our marriage , is not good not to mention im sick of leaving and putting my baby through it….help..is it hes not the one or truely is how he was raised he cant show his feeling i think nnomatter how much i change for him he will not for me i know im beautiful but ye makes feel fat and i may need to loos a few but dang i need love
oh yes i cryed after reading everything on this page im so sad to see so many feel this deep dispare of loneyness to have children and husband yet feel lost and loney being alone while hes out not given a damm having your babble taken all of it sadens my heart i say apray for god to here your crys up late at night as you watch them sleep as i know so many of you do woundering as you look at child what am i going to do. god is the key to all your pain we just go to give him a chance
I always like this quote. “Be very careful if you make a woman cry because God counts her tears. Every tear a woman sheds is equivalent to a man’s sacrifices in life.
The woman came from a man’s rib–not on his feet to be stepped on; not on his head to be superior,but on his side to be equal; under his arms to be protected and near his heart to be loved.”
I feel lonely. Lonely enough to actually type how I feel on google and see what will come up. And here I am, telling how lonely I am on a stupid forum, bringing my little rock to the edifice, this huge pyramid of sadness.
I’m in love, desperately, with my best friend who doesn’t love me back, he just toys with my feelings when he feels like it. I at least hope that he loves me dearly as a friend, but since he’s the kind of person who doesn’t share his feelings much I feel a bit frustrated. One true “I love you” from him would mean the world to me, but it will never happen, I’ll always be the one taking comfort with tidbits and crums.
I’m always a friend. No one has ever been in love with me. Oh, sure there have been guys to profess they loved me, but they did not, they just wanted to settle, to find someone to say those words to. And honestly I just could not feel it. And did not loved them either. This was all just empty and meaningless. My true love feelings have never been shared and it like they never will.
I am doomed to be just a friend, always just a friend. A fuck buddy at best, a piece of meat most of the times though…
I am so tired of all this. I feel cold and lonely all the time. There’s something lacking in my life. I’m 29 and I feel like a failure because Love was the only thing I really expected out of life. I’m not the planning kind, I don’t expect much out of things, I just go with the flow… but nowadays I just nodd along. Love has always eluded me and it feels like it always will.
Hey Francois,
I really feel for you as I seem to feel some of the emotions you described also. I’m 22 and in a relationship, I’m also a student and though I seem to have a few friends I get caught up in expectation too much. It almost seems not enough for me that these friends or even my boyfriend seem to be with me because of situational consequence. Noone seems to know me truly and like me for me. It is almost like I am another number to the group or something someone can label ‘girlfriend’.
Some people can give the easy answer such as ‘you’re lacking in self esteem, or you need more confidence,’ the thing is that doesn’t seem to be the issue. There are plenty of things I like about myself, but other people do not seem to value them. Friends can say they care but in my opinion do not live up to the expectations I have inside my head. I still feel lonely no matter who I meet as I feel they will just leave again someday.
I guess most people who post on this forum including myself want some kind of quick fix or just to express there ideas and emotions, perhaps others are just looking for some kind of rationality and reason behind there loneliness. I was looking for some magical person, some magical friend that would come along and truly understand and care, that could stop this feeling of loneliness. It is hard being lonely and feeling a sense of desperation, almost feeling like crying out ‘help me,’ even though we all know most people will run a mile if we sucked them into our lives. People also get bored of hearing ‘ I’m lonely’ and from there it seems to spiral downwards into pushing even more people away.
I’m trying to love without expectation, not just my boyfriend but everyone, trying to love without wanting anything in return. We all are born alone and die alone so social interaction with anyone in that sense of time is never permanent, and I know this. I don;t know why I keep wanting someone there who truly understands me, even if its just to sit in silence.
I keep telling myself there are important lessons in loneliness even though I have no clue what they are. I’m sorry I cannot really offer any advice to anyone on here, but if anyone has experienced loneliness and have learnt valuable lessons from it please let me know x
I really feel for you as I seem to feel some of the emotions you described also. I’m 22 and in a relationship, I’m also a student and though I seem to have a few friends I get caught up in expectation too much. It almost seems not enough for me that these friends or even my boyfriend seem to be with me because of situational consequence. Noone seems to know me truly and like me for me. It is almost like I am another number to the group or something someone can label ‘girlfriend’.
Some people can give the easy answer such as ‘you’re lacking in self esteem, or you need more confidence,’ the thing is that doesn’t seem to be the issue. There are plenty of things I like about myself, but other people do not seem to value them. Friends can say they care but in my opinion do not live up to the expectations I have inside my head. I still feel lonely no matter who I meet as I feel they will just leave again someday.
I guess most people who post on this forum including myself want some kind of quick fix or just to express there ideas and emotions, perhaps others are just looking for some kind of rationality and reason behind there loneliness. I was looking for some magical person, some magical friend that would come along and truly understand and care, that could stop this feeling of loneliness. It is hard being lonely and feeling a sense of desperation, almost feeling like crying out ‘help me,’ even though we all know most people will run a mile if we sucked them into our lives. People also get bored of hearing ‘ I’m lonely’ and from there it seems to spiral downwards into pushing even more people away.
I’m trying to love without expectation, not just my boyfriend but everyone, trying to love without wanting anything in return. We all are born alone and die alone so social interaction with anyone in that sense of time is never permanent, and I know this. I don;t know why I keep wanting someone there who truly understands me, even if its just to sit in silence.
I keep telling myself there are important lessons in loneliness even though I have no clue what they are. I’m sorry I cannot really offer any advice to anyone on here, but if anyone has experienced loneliness and have learnt valuable lessons from it please let me know x
Ive heard that writing out your feelings makes you feel better when youre done. So Ill try it. I have friends, but it seems like nobody is really close to me or wants to get to know me more. somehow i always feel empty and left out in life. I’m so lonely most of the time and i go through every day with a facade of happiness when its really tearing me apart inside while nobody ever notices. Theres nothing to ever look forward to but day after day of loneliness. why is life so hard. i seriously dont get it.
Yes, I feel lonely too since moving down in Florida from the Northeast. People have tried to make friends with me and I even have a brother and cousin living in the area. I really don’t know the answer. I retired a couple of months ago which I attribute to my depression. I guess when you are in a demanding job and all of a sudden not needed anymore (retirement) it changes the way you feel. I have only to say to the lonely people, you’re not alone. Depression will soon break. My advice, to keep moving, go places, even if you have to go alone. My husband would rather stay at home alone - so I go out myself just to escape…
Im 56, divorced 9 years, out of a relationship for 2. I have 2 teenagers, one in college, one a senior in HS who lives mostly with his Dad, so I became an empty nester 1 year early. Only child, parents are deceased.I have ’sometime’ friends, few I can depend on. Life is getting very very lonely, money is tight, I dont earn much. Ive tried for years to make new friends and I cant find those that I can depend on, everyone is involved with their own families.When Im working Im happy because Im surrounded with people. I have many interests but it doesnt help the lonline
I will be 35 in a few weeks and I’m so tired of being alone and lonely.
I’ve felt that way my entire life and I don’t think it will ever go away.
I’m so tired of being jealous of everyone else because their life seems better than mine. Why is everyone else happier than me? Why does everyone else get what they want, but I never do?
Why have I never been loved by anyone? What is so wrong with me that I seem to be completely invisible to everyone? Why have I never been intimate with anyone?
So many nights, I stay up weeping because I’m so tired of feeling this aching emptiness inside of me. Even when I manage to go to sleep, the first thing on my mind when I wake up is that it will just be another day of feeling alone and lonely and having that big whole inside of me.
I feel so behind in life. Everyone my age is married, with children. I feel so incredibly pathetic when I realize I’ve never even had a Valentine’s gift from a man, let alone be in a relationship that was headed towards marriage. I feel like even if I did get married in the future, who wants to be an ‘old’ bride? Every woman wants to be young and beautiful on her wedding day. I would be old and ugly. And I feel resentful that most likely I’d be marrying a divorced man. And no offense to the divorced people on here, but I would resent that I wasn’t his first wife and that I was getting someone else’s castoff. (I’m sorry.)
I just want to stop feeling worthless and invisible. I just want to matter to someone. I want this ever-constant lonliness that’s deep inside of me to go away and never come back.
I don’t want to kill myself, but there are times when I really can’t wait to die, because my life is just so pathetic, I feel like I’m taking up space on earth for someone who could actually have a good life.
My mother died when I was 3, and I have been feeling lonely as long as I can remember. I am 46, and I have 2 wonderful children, but I am so lonely.
I have no family support. Everytime, I get into a relationship, they never
work out. I am working on becoming a registered nurse. I have completed
all the requirements,but there are few schools that have a night program. I
have to work full time to keep my benefits. I am becoming so frustrated.
I hope everyone on this site can find some happiness.
I read all of these comments and I feel so empathetic towards all of you lonely people, because I am too, very very lonely in my heart. I just ache to have a hug from someone meaning an intimate partner or lover and friend. I find this world is so cruel and there is no one sincere anymore, not the words that you find in the old love songs. When I feel very lonely I go into my bedroom and cry hoping someone to hear me and send me someone to love. I am soo lost and no purpose in going on. I do have a job but I am divorced, twice actually and I really don’t feel a purpose in my life anymore. Not like someone that has someone to go home to you know. And if I meet a man the last thing I want them to think that I am desperate for love. So I live in my own world and pretend everything is alright when it is not.
I feel so lonely and abandoned. My husband places everything above me, his friends, his family, his hobbies, his work, his shores…It makes me feel like I’m boring to be around because the moment he spends more than 15 minutes talking to me he always remember that he has something to do or that his friends want to do something. He also never initiates sex, he always has an excuse whether he is too cold, he feels too fat, its too stressed out or too busy to do anything. It’s been months since actually say a sweet word to me. Its like its too much work and I’m not worth it. He treats me like one of his buddies and the only thing he thinks he can do with me without me feeling like he would rather be doing something else is to play video games. I feel so unhappy and so undesirable, and unloved. I don’t want a divorce but not sure if I should stay with a man that cares so little about me and my needs. Or maybe I can’t do better than him after all and I am boring ugly and undesirable. My self stem is on the floor.
I have been dealing with major depression.In the last 9 years, I have totally isolated myself from my friends & family and now that I am feeling better, all of my friends have disappeared. I spoke to one so-called friend and she said it was probably because I isolated myself. I think if you are a true friend, you would understand and not give up on your friends, rather embrace the fact that they are getting better.It still hurts and I feel very lonely.I am starting to feel depressed again and am very emotional.
I cry at the drop of a dime.I am not going to give up.
Thanks for listening.
lonely? well yea. i try to ask myself why? and then a long pause of nothing echoes in my head, no voices there, nothing said. friends? well yes i v got some, i knw alot of ppl and have a few close frnds,outing i do go out, love? now i dont knw abt that, i dont have a boyfriend not rly looking for one either, i v been heartbroken once, got over it though and should be more than okay now. well actually i m great! not even faking it… THAN WHAT IS IT? WHY WHY DO I FEEL SO GODDAMN ALONE? its like someone sucking my soul out of me, it hurts abit… or alot.
There has been some big changes in my life. All my close friends got boyfriends including my sister, and I too found somebody. We were long distance for about 1.5 years and I finally moved to be in the same state with him, but I feel so alone here. I left my friends and family and now I have to make life style changes because of higher cost of living here. He’s a great boyfriend, but I feel so lonely sometimes. He still has his family and friends. I’ve always considered myself an independent person and now I have somebody to depend on but it’s not easy. Maybe I have too much expectation and I feel like nothing is satisfying me. I want to depend on God, but it’s hard. I try to pray and learn more about him but sometimes I’m so depressed I just don’t care about anything. What’s wrong with me? I used to be so happy and positive person.
I am feeling lonely. I have that pit in my throat & stomach. I feel like crying. I moved to another state months ago and don’t know anyone here. I gave up drugs and drinking almost 10 yrs. ago. But at 32 being single and trying to date someone who doesn’t drink or will respect me for not; is impossible to find. The thing is I’m a good looking guy in shape and has the heart the size of the ocean. I want a companion,a partner,a best friend. Where do I go from here? Why? So lonely.
I want to hold someone in my arms, to be held in theirs.
To kiss someone on the lips, to be kissed back.
I want to hold someones hand,and feel our fingers intertwined.
To be wanted…………….
i know how you feel. my friends are all full up of their own lives and got no time for me. I long for a bestest friend or an other half.
I too am so lonely. I have my own business, a husband whbo loves me and a child whom I adore. But I don’t really have any friedns, and even tho I am mid-life this makes me feel like I’m back in High School. I try reaching out to people but it just doesn’t seem to work. My husband has friends and goes out. I wish some of us on this site could meet up and be friends!
I spent the last 5 yrs in a one way marriage. I was told to stop working and be a housewife to further his career. i followed the forsaking all others rule to a T. put all my effort into the family. only to watch him take vacation to visit friends and tell me that i dont deserve time off because i don’t “actually work”. 3 sons and a spouse thats never home, and never helped when he was home. this past year he was in iraq, i felt like i needed to see a shrink for depression, he was making 10k/mo but only sending home abt 2k/mo, turns out when he left for iraq, he never intended on comming back to me… but never let me know. after weeks trying to get an appointment to no avail (60 day wait for an evaluation) my now 6fig spouse had me commited to “make sure you can see a doc asap”. called the police to “escort me”, i was not being held as a wrist cutter and was able to leave when ever i wanted which was the next day. however, this visit was used against me. he left me and took my boys using depression and a stay in the hospital against me and when i found out that he technically left a year prior but in letters and calls home acted like he couldn’t wait to get back to me. he then moved to a new state to live close to his friends. I followed, only to be close to my boys. new city, no money, no education, no job/job-history. after 4 months he got a job offer 10 hours away, taking the boys and leaving me in a strange place with no one to spend time with. shortly before he left, he told me that he never cheated (i call lie) and that he wanted the marriage to be over for years. i asked why he didn’t just cut me loose.. he responded, because i wasn’t going to find better sex anywhere else. (my love was blind to the fact i was nothing more than a toy). so here i am, in a strange city with no family, no friends. im still trying to find work but at least i’m in school now.
im glad he is gone. im tired of being called stupid, dealing with an alcoholic, and treated like a liv-in nanny/sextoy. im glad that i dont have to serve him dinner in bed because every night after work he would get into sweats and lay in bed. and then while im cleaning up after dinner he goes out. i ask to come with, or for a night out to myself…only to be laughed at and told that i dont deserve it. i don’t want to be married to a shovanist jerk. one day soon he will fail a drug test, or get arrested for something alcohol related, and i will be there ready to get my boys back.
thx for giving me a place to let it out. i posted here because i spent the last decade of my life as the mom. huggs, kisses, PTA, big birthday bashes for the kids, play dates. all the things that make a good stay at home mother. just angers me how a substance/people abuser can win full custody over the “primary caregiver” just because i self admitted to a hospital for depression.
reading other posts here, i see that alot of people are being rolled over because people treat kindness as a weakness. and those saints are not wrong for putting others before yourself.
Yes..i feel alone. I have a wonderful loving husband. He works long hours all week and when the weekend rolls around we dont get to get out & do much because we dont have a car right now. We have 2 kids & im a stay @ home mom. I do makeup for events for a few extra bucks & I make & sale ‘reborns dolls’ for some extra cash too. I though that having these hobbies would help keep me from feeling so damn bored all of the time, but they dont really.
Im 21 and i feel like im 60! Ive though about getting a job, but i have two small children & i want to stay home with them becuase thats really what gives me my only joy- my kids & my husband. Sometimes when the grandma keeps the kids for the weekend we can go to a concert or out to eat..but thats not very often. I feel like im wasting away..but when i really want to make a change & make myself feel better, i just think ‘why, whats the point? ‘. I dunno..but this feeling is crappy.
I have friends, but we dont have much in common & i never hang out with them because i dont feel that close to them. My husband & my sister in law are my best friends. Latley, ive been feeling like my husband & myself are drifting apart- but i dont know why. We are very close & talk about everything, but sometimes i get the feeling that im getting on his nerves when i want to cuddle with him or talk to him about something. Maybe its nothing & im just feeling blue so that makes me think he feels annoyed by me or something. This makes me feel even more lonley.
Yes- i do feel LONLEY & old & like im wasting my time even though im not sure what the hell else im suppose to be doing with my time/life. UGH!
Reading this I realise that I’m not the only person who feels like this, and I wonder about my friends and family, maybe underneath they feel this way too sometimes but I’m just not aware of it.
I am 29. On the surface I appear completely in control, a bubbly confident person happy with my life. In fact my best friend recently told me she thought I was too cool and amazing to be friends with her when we first met. Nothing could be further from the truth!
Yes I’m completely self reliant but because I have to be, not because I want to be. No one else is going to do things for me so I have to get on and look after myself.
I rent my own apartment, have a good job, a car, I’ve lived abroad and travelled extensively, I have friends in many countries and a wonderful group of friends in the town I now live in. I was bullied throughout school for my appearance (tall, skinny, braces, too brainy etc) so I keep in shape, I try to dress well, always wear makeup etc (but not trashy) so that people can’t say those things about me anymore. I’m extremely loyal to my friends and family and I volunteer for things at my local church. I like to make people laugh. My best friend, who I’ve known for 2 years now, is the best friend I’ve ever had. We’ve shared our hopes and fears and really just enjoy each other’s company.
However I still feel incredibly lonely. My group of friends where I now live (including my best friend) is entirely made up of couples, with the exception of one other single girl. I get on with both the guys and the girls in all these couples and they try never to make me feel like the single one, but it’s inevitable.
There have been a few guys in the past but I’ve never had a serious relationship, no one has ever bought me flowers, no one has ever said ‘I love you’, no man has ever told me that he thinks I’m pretty. I could go out to a club, dress sexy and attract a bunch of guys, but that is not what I want or need. I want someone to want to know ‘me’.
I go out with my friends and have a fantastic time but at the end of the evening everyone goes to their cars and drives home with their partners while I go home alone. Every morning I wake up alone. I would love to have friends over for dinner more, or BBQs in the summer etc, but it’s hard being the hostess by yourself. When I go to their houses they split the work - one does the food while the other chats and does drinks - they can share the conversation and the chit chat. I feel like I have to be ‘on’ all the time so that people aren’t bored and it’s so hard.
I probably come across as really bubbly and fun and confident but I’m acting that way so that I don’t become invisible. They are my really good friends but I feel this ridiculous pressure to be ‘enough’ and that means being as good as two people, because otherwise they might drop me from their activities and want to be only couples, which I know isn’t what they’re thinking really. But it obviously works because a lot of the time they forget about my living situation. A few of the guys travel sometimes with work and I have to listen to my girlfriends talking about how much they hate them being away and can’t stand being alone and are so glad they don’t have to live alone all the time. They set up extra nights out and activities with the group to keep themselves busy when they are home alone, but as soon as their husbands are back they stop. Hello? That is my life all the time!
I know when I think about it logically that I am very lucky. That I am a great person, that I am attractive and that I do have wonderful friends. Mostly it is my own internal feelings that make me feel bad and not what is happening in reality. But having no external reassurance - No one telling me they love me, or wanting to look after me, or even just wanting to take me for dinner. No one helping with the chores, no one to plan a holiday with, no one to plan a future with. It becomes very lonely.
I’m 43, married 20 plus years, 4 sons aged between 3 and 15. Very lonely, use the internet to try to connect with something/someone vicariously. Feel I’ve offered the best I could to the family, but they don’t appreciate all the details - the going on class trips, the baking special things, the taking care of clothing, forms, activities, opportunities for each. Have made the past time I love most available to all of them, always made it inclusive to the point where I am then excluded. This then makes me feel resentful and trapped. Keep trying to claw out time for myself, but it rarely happens. Have a lot of friends, but they don’t have young kids anymore, they have a lot more freedom. What I need most is to be appreciated, when I tell them that, they withold it even more. Fantasize about being free to walk, to travel, even to sip a coffee and read the paper, but in my mind I’m always worried about someone. Exhausted.
i feel lonely even though i have people around me but most of the time i fell tearful and want to be by myself i cry to ssleep most nights and dont know what to do, i feel like i have no one HELP
I have four beautiful children ranging from 14 to 5 and have been married over a decade. I know my husband an children love me very much but, feel lonely. I moved from my home town to a place that I know no one have no friends or family and it sucks! I have a few very great long term friends that will be there no matter what but, they are not here!!! My husband just changed professions and now works out of state. I find myself being extremely lonely and really no one near to turn to for adult conversation vs always having kid conversations. Mothers do need a break too!!!
I feel lonely at times. My husband is good.But i expect more from him.Whenever i feel sad i expect much love from him,which i wont get everytime.May be that dissopoints me,There is always a void in my heart ,which has to be filled with boundless love,I expect somuch ..May be because of my parents who gave me somuch love,which i really miss now.
I feel the most lonely when my husband is at home. It reminds me of how lonely I am all the time.
I’ve just recently started feeling lonely. I got married 7 months ago,I was 19 then and still will be till June. I was perfectly fine with being married so young,I never really had that many friends to begin with but now that I’m 5 months pregnant,I just wish I could have someone to relate with. I’m not going to the mall or movies every weekend to blow money on short shorts or go out to the club like all the other 19 year old’s. I’m shopping for cleaning supplies,home decor,baby items and clothes detergent. I just feel really alone when it comes to having someone to talk to about theses things. My hubby hates to go shopping and listen to me go on and on. But, he has been trying his best.
I have been feeling lonely for a few years. I was in a verbally, emotional, and mentally abusive relationship for about 5 1/2 years. Me and this guy was to get married and start our life together. He cheated on me, left me for other women, took my money, gave me a STD and denied it was from him. I feel very alone and sad that I allowed this to happen to me. He lefted my church to go to another church with his new girlfriend about two years ago. That relationship didn’t last for very long. This guy has brought so many women in my face and it has made me feel so alone, depressed, sad and has lowered my self-esteem. DO I FEEL LONElY. I am afaid to date men due to this horrible experience. He currently has a new fiance and is bringing this new woman around me as well. I know he is trying to make me jealous and hurt me, but I can’t help but feel alone. Why do some men treat women this way.
I was in a 5 1/2 year long relationship with a guy who was mentally emotionanlly and verbally abusive to me. He would call me names, cheat on me with other women, leave me for other women, take my money. I really felt alone and depressed. We were to get married, but I thank God we did not. He gave me a STD and denied that he even gave to me. He is currently getting married and continues to bring this women around me to show her off. He has done this so many times in the past, but I can not believe that he is still trying to hurt me. I am still trying to get over this heartbreak. I know he does not want me to be happy or have someone in my life. But I pray one day I do. I realy feel Lonely and Afraid at times.
I’ve been married over 20 years, 9 of which my husband has been a true alcoholic. I feel lonely and unloved by my husband most of the time. I just want kind words and loving consideration like we used to have. A few years ago, I would have said we had a very strong marriage. Today, I would have to say we’re barely hanging on most days.
I love my husband. I don’t love his drinking or the effect it has on our family. There have been times lately that I question if he’s just waiting until our youngest son graduates from school to divorce me. I even went so far as to ask him if he even still loved me tonight. Took a lot of guts for me to ask - I was half afraid of the answer. I feel undermined at every turn. Daily I question whether I’m to blame for his behavior. I want to be close to my husband, but I don’t want to be ‘with’ him when he’s been drinking. I don’t even know if he’ll remember it later. It breaks my heart. I want a close involved family. Not a broken one. I love my kids very much, they deserve the best too. I deserve the best darn it. I pray daily for him to stop drinking, that it won’t be appealing to him anymore. I pray for strength to do the right thing for our family. I pray to be able to feel God’s love for me.
i feel lonely when my spouse and son do things together and do not wait for me to get off work to be able to join , my spouse has a job he can go do anything and take off , i have a job can not take off much or will get fired. i also get lonely when i sugguest doing something i think is fun and be turned down by my spouse and son. i have no friends ones i tried to have at work my spouse thinks there hushands are strange , i think that about some of his friends then be told i antisocial, i had one or two friends in childhood. i did not trust people due to being molested and abusive family life.I been told to get a hobby to make friends, i do not know what i like to do or try, I work and come home to clean and take care of my spouse and son, as i get older and now my son is 20 i feel i in this world by myself.
I have felt lonely a large percentage of my life, even more so over the last 6-7 years. I got divorced one year and my mother (best friend) died the next year. I don’t have any real friends and I have been struggling with making friends and dating since this time. I try to be positive and try new things in an effort to develop relationships. I find that as I get closer to 40 it is really difficult to meet people and develop meaningful friendships. It is even more frustrating because you can’t really talk to most people about loneliness. I find they are often dismissive and tell me that I am making the choice to be lonely. Anyway, I have to find peace with it one of these days.
I feel very lonely and bored. I have a great family,live in a small town and am a stay at home mom since childcare is so high and jobs have been scarce for the last couple years. I have no friends. Our family doesn’t have a lot of extra money so little things like plays or concerts that come to our state are out of the question. I have nobody to bounce ideas off or get excited with or share with. I love my kids very much but I know I’m just doing things for them. I don’t get excited much about anything anymore. I feel guilty for that. Since I got married,had a baby etc it feels like my identity is gone. I don’t feel pretty or sexy even occasionally anymore. My hubby refuses to give me any complements so my enthusiasm for looking good or anyone I care about noticing is gone. He will look at other skinnier prettier younger women and say something nice about them but not me. I want to be able to have some coffee with a friend and have an adult conversation. My hubby makes me feel like anything I say or think is better coming from him because he’s freaky smart and elaborates or corrects a lot of things I say. I want to talk with a women who will just understand what it is to be a woman and we can laugh and cry about things together. I don’t have that and not having an outlet is suffocating me.
Everyday. I’m in a city that isn’t home (husband is military). In the past year he’s been gone, I’ve made friends and then had them all dump on me. No, I’m not playing the victim but I didn’t know that when I began having an issue with one (who was talking EXTREME crap about everyone) I’d have issues with all. It’s a shame that people cannot think for themselves and get so wrapped up in other people’s false stories and just plain b.s. I severed ties with all of them a few months ago and since, I’ve literally talked to no one face-to-face (over the phone, yes, to family and friends outside of the state). So yes, I’m lonely. I’m so glad I’m out of the drama but I’m lonely. It’s just me and my son. I want to reach out and make new friends but I’m so afraid that the next person I meet will be just as callous and shallow as the other group of GIRLS. My days, as pathetic as it may seem, are spent waiting for my husband to get back. I would have never imagined this life for me - a lonely military wife. I’m highly educated and I NEVER imagined me, ME, being a stay at home mom and wife. I’m past the whole giving up my professional life to be a mom. But some adult interation with intelligent people would be nice.
I feel lonely because my boyfriend passed away 7 months ago and we were together 4 years. I miss him so much, our birthdays are approching and I feel so very lonely
yes i do feel lonely at times. i just asked my husband today, why does marriage have to be lonely? he is very compassionate to my feelings. but now i am wondering, is loneliness just another feeling i need to not let control me? i mean my husband spends time with me, but today we hardly talked. the few things he did share with me were complaints about certain things, not me. my closest female friend is on vacation with her family , i wish i could ask her. i just don’t feel like talking to just anyone, i want to have conversations with my husband, but feel like such a burden to him in that area. not really sure how to communicate this with him. i want to talk to my husband or do something with him that uses my brain, besides sex.
wondering, is loneliness just another feeling i need to not let control me?
i dont even know how i feel… i have lots of friends, but recently lost all my close friends due to drama, but when i go on vacation or just get away for a few days i feel like i missed everything and that my friends didnt even notice me gone. i’m not like this all the time, just sometimes.. i get this depressed feeling, like none cares, it makes me hate being at home. i dont even know what is wrong with me
My God I feel sooo lonely. Not the terrible lonely of some of the stories above. Just the kinda every day lonely. Some may say that’s worse. Nothing that stands out, no horrible story attached. A feeling of anonymous and facelessness. Swept up with life and wanting a soul-mate but knowing you do not have the luck or courage to find one. The utter boredom but resignation. Who is going to save me from this? And then the slow realisation that you are one of many. Maybe things will change, this is all I can hold on to now….
I am very, very lonely. Married for 20 years, gave up my career 16 years ago to be a dedicated full time mother and housewife. My husband is work obsessed, abroad a lot and when he’s home will typically work until the small hours and be up at 5 or 6 am. I’ve not felt like a wife for a long time, I’m just a ‘live in housekeeper’, and invisible. I have no friends and no close family. Without my two fantastic children my life would really not be worth living. How pathetic is that! Absolutely no point talking to my husband about how I feel, I’ve tried many times but he’s made it very clear that he is not interested and ‘can’t deal with that sort of thing’!
I do feel lonely. It usually happens when my mind isn’t thinking positive about my current relationship. When I think so much about it I have to express myself to my partner how I feel but lately i havent gotten the chance. We had a problem, as all couples do, like we hadn’t ever before more than a month ago and we’re fine now but I still feel like I have to say and ask him more questions. So me missing him cause we can’t see each other very often (thanks to his mom) and me wanting to express myself is making me feel super lonely especially when I feel like I can be losing him, especially when I feel like breaking our relationship after 3yrs because it isn’t the same like it was before our big fight. Patience is what I have left but how much more will there be until I get tired of everything…..
I came from a nice family, got married young lasted 13 years, but too much drinking going on, married another guy and too much drugs going on. Married a 3rd guy and too much drinking and is stand offish also. My faults are of few, just want to love someone and be loved. All I can say is these guys put their best foot forward at the beginning and then show their true colors when it is late in the game. I think they are the ones that don’t want to be alone, but they are ignorant so it ends up burning you down. Believe me when all these men were with their friends they have tongues and talk about all sorts of their feelings with other men even moreso with the barmaids or people there. When they are home they make you feel like your the one that is crazy. They are immature, delusional. Believe me they watched their drinking when I met them, they knew I did not like drinking and I am not a drinker or a drugee. I work and am responsible in everything I do and say. I treat everyone good. It is not about being a good woman to them. Its about ignorance on their part. I am a nurse and I see and hear many a things, If God gave us women something else to love that could be fulfilling without a man, men would be in trouble and maybe not so ignorent and put more into a relationship when they got a woman. Now, I will say if a woman is just plain rude to a man and considers him owned property instead of nuturing the love than I do not blame him if he is ignorant like a woman would turn also if treated that way. Anyways been through 3 marriages now and not looking forward to starting over again for more disappointment.
…I started feeling lonely when I got a job in different city and was forced to move - this is what I want to believe in, but the truth is that I was the same lonely before, living in the city I love, among people I call friends…there are days like today when I think of my life, my family, my friends, my boyfriend…and I feel lonely again, incapable to love or even want to love someone truly, fall apart…