How have you changed the most since becoming a mom?
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19 Responses to “Mom - How have you changed?”
I have become more organized, better-equipped to multi-task; less selfish about some things, more selfish about others. I am more joyful, more fulfilled, more grateful for the little things. I am quicker to anger and not as patient as I’d like to be. I forget EVERYthing. I am dumber.
I think the way I look at life as changed. I’m much more cautious in some ways. Much more of a worrier than I used to be. Discover the joy in little things and not always feeling the need to be “going”, more so just enjoying life and being with family. I too noticed pretty much after getting pregnant the first time that I became a less patient person. Nothing used to bug me - and I know that I have become a very impatient person most of the time. Which I really feel has to do with hormone changes from the beginning.
My memory is much worse. I feel less sexy as my body has changed. Some days I’m more patient and others I’m less. I’ve slowed down a lot. All in all, the changes are positive.
I feel less confident in myself. I gained a lot of weight with both pregnancies, and though I finally weigh less now than when we got married, I still shudder when I look in the mirror, because of all the flab and stretch marks all over my body. I am less cute and bubbly (though I was never very bubbly to begin with). I think I’ve withdrawn into my own little home and I never come out. I have become a bit more patient since my first was born, but I still have a long way to go. I have become a terrible housekeeper, or maybe the terrible housekeeper in me was set free when I moved out of my parents’ house and no longer had assigned chores.
And I’ve started to get gray hairs. Yuck.
I worry more — about world events, my kids and even myself to be sure I’m here to take care of them.
I have little patience, I’m tireder, feel more worn out than when I was working, I yell more, I’m always late, not too much time to just relax and concentrate on a book, sew etc.
I feel my brain is less stimulated, as in above - I feel dumb. Money is ALOT tighter, is hard to ‘nip’ into the shops for a loaf of bread, going to visit someone else at their house is stressful, especially if they’re not used to young children
I’m more stressed, don’t get enough sleep. I’m 25 but I feel MUCH older, I feel old and frumpy. Other people think I’m older than my sister whos three years older. Think its from the fact that I have nearly three children, and she’s just had her first.
Feel under-appreciated by my single/ childless friends. I think this annoys me the most. They think because I am living with my husband everything is cheaper (splitting costs of living), I have all the time in the world cos I don’t work, it’s easy for me to do house chores cos I’m home all day (they don’t realise that I have to do the same cleaning EVERYDAY not once a week). I don’t have an excuse not to have time to cook elaborate meals all the time. They wonder why I’m worn out from a day of looking after the kids.
All I can do is wait… wait until they have their own!
With all this as a downer, I have a beautiful family I wouldnt trade for a single life, money and spare time! They bring me much happiness and joy, give me something to look forward to; and they bring my life closer for my husband and I, something we’ve been blessed with to look after and care for.
It has made me a better person! I didn’t realize how becoming a mother would change me so much and I’m still amazed after 4 years of the change in myself. I believe it helped me grow up and become more responsible and not so selfish. Having a child look up to you and knowing you must take care of them demands responsibility.
It’s made me care more about people and the world. I am more sensitive to people and bad things that happen. I cannot watch the news anymore with horrible things that happen to people.
I also have let myself be freer. I don’t try to please my own mother as much. I figure I have one life to live, I better live it for me and not her. Sometimes this is difficult for her to realize, but I’m happier now.
And a bad thing is I don’t have any time for myself. I used to be an athlete and I don’t have time or a babysitter to let myself go back to the sports I once did. I am so out of shape and I absolutely hate it.
The incredibly tight psycho-physiological bond that forms between baby and mother, within days of the child being born, has been a shock: When the baby cries, Mum feels the yank of colic; he calls out and she feels milk gush… she thinks and worries about him, even dreams about him - it’s all been rather overwhelming and quite unexpected.
I’ve turned very emotional and compassionate towards kids. Any sight of kids especially young ones being abandoned or involved in tragedy, would make my eyes well instantly.
Ever since having my own kids, I come to realise that each little being has potential to be successful in their future lives. It’s a reality that parenting is more than a job. It’s very exhausting too.
Each stage of development of the kids is different and there can never be anywhere on earth we, as parents, can learn so much. I’m still learning how to be a good parent, after more than 10 years of being one.
Despite finding myself being a more polished multi-tasker, a better listener, my impatience and paranoia about hygiene upset my family members.
I’m so afraid! I worry about things I never worried about before — predators, having a car accident with her in the back, dying and leaving her alone, her walking to her friend’s house which is basically in our back yard. Is she too fat? Too tall? Will she grow up with poor body image? Are kids mean to her at school? Are the teachers nice to her? What if the bus wrecks on the way home from school?
When she was born, my mom told me your heart will never again be inside of your body. Now I understand what that means…
I have become different since my first born. My husband says he thinks I’ve changed more than I do. I think he’s still adjusting to us being parents and not doing all the carefree things we did before. I think I am more aware of my sons feelings, needs, etc. than I would have thought. I also feel like I have more patience than I usually do and get more done now that I know he depends on me when he needs me. I certainly don’t get as much sleep as I did before and I often wonder how I now function so well without as much sleep. I also have a ton of gray hairs now and had to color my hair for the first time in my life a few weeks ago. These are all things I can live with and change IS good.
I’ve become totally neurotic!!! I freak out about germs, viruses, illnesses, death, injuries, etc. you name it, it worries me.
I was never like this before I had kids…now I’m a complete control freak and worry about absolutely EVERYTHING!!!!
Never knew love like this existed. Gained weight that I am finding impossible to lose even 5 years later.
I worry about everything. Too much. Tired still……can’t get enough rest and sleep. My home is transformed into everything kids.
I think that I’ve really come into my own. I am not defined by my work anymore, which wasn’t a bad thing but it’s kind of refreshing to be loved so unconditionally by someone who doesn’t care what I look like, what my IQ is, how determined/motivated I am. He just loves me because I’m his mama.
I feel like I have finally found what I have been created to do. And even when I’m having a bad day, it’s amazing how the littlest arms can give the biggest hugs.
I’m paranoid about keeping my kids safe. I worry about everything and am neurotic about everything when it comes to them.
I feel like I have finally settled although I am a single mom, I have had to make decisions like going back to school and getting a good job instead of relying on someone else. That has helped me mature greatly. I am scared though as well, I am single, I wish my son’s dad was a stand up guy, but he is far from that, I worry about the society we live in today, it is scary.
I was too young to become a mom. I did anyway because my choices were limited but at the time I knew what I wanted and my baby was it. I had him, I love him. I did everything with him that a mom twice my age should be doing. I finished high school, he got older. I had another baby with a different man. I did not want this pregnancy at all, I knew the man that I was with for the past 4 years would not be the father I wanted for my children. Because I had no money and no recourses, I ended up going through with not only a pregnancy, but a marriage. Needless to say, a few years into the relationship with a baby, it was brutal, verbally asaulting and horrific. again I was a single mom, two babes and not a whole lot going for me. Working my way through things, sometimes moral, sometimes not moral. I meat another man, one who is a perfect mate. I met him unexpectedly. He is a great person, great boyfriend, seemingly great man, all together, just annoying. of course, I end up married, I end up in a fight to take my children with me across the country because of my husbands job, in a fight to the very last day, I lose. I still have to go, epected to lead a normal life. On the one hand I enjoy this new life, I’m a person who has meen a mom exactly half her life and have never known what it was like to be a teanager, I have the opportunity to experience some freedom. Oh the ohter hand, I’m a mom who is dying inside because I don’t have my children with me. Wanting a normal llife, we decide to add a baby to the marriage. all is well, except for my extreme jealousy over my husbands continued freedom while i’m stiffled because of a pregnancy. Now, being pregnant is difffernent from the last, I am very far away from home. No support, no one to really talk to. Baby arrives, I have my second child with me, this is a great thing! however, I only have her a limited amount of time, therefore, my next month includes a brand new baby and a child that will be leaving in less than a month. I have the excitent of a new baby and the anxiety of a leaving child. How am I supposed to feel? Not only that , my eldest child wants nothing to do with me or his sisters’s. the baby is here, I travel home once in 9 mo. and now I am here, alone, feeling sad, too often. I have a good baby girl, and two other children states away. I want it to be known that I faught for my daughter, I fought hard for her, $15G’s into lawyer fee’s and I knew I would get her, but somehow the judge decided that staying in her born state was best. Not to mention her dad was a total jerk who did not have a stable life. He did, however have parents willing to pay anyone who came inbetween their only grand daughter.
I want to scream, I love my kids, but I miss ME. I have no idea who I am anymore, I feel as though I’m begging for my kids to be with me, but now my teenager wants nothing to do with me and my second child is now torn about where she wants to be. I have a third baby who will grow up not even knowing her own siblings. There is still a question of us having one more. I feel like if I have another baby it is going to be for my husband and my youngest child. I do want to say I LOVE my babies, all of them, very much!!! more than words could say, and if we were to have another little bundle of joy, I would love it with the intensity that I love all my babies. I just feel at the end of the day that over half my life has been dedicated to being a mother, however, I’m basically a mom of one. My other children are so far away, how can I even consider them mine. I feel like a horrble mom for leaving the state, but if I had known that they were not comeing with mw, then getting married to this great person would not have happend. But, here I am, medicated for depression and still depressed. I just wish that I could know who I am and know what I want, and not feel totally overwhelmed all the time. Not to mention now I am a stay at home mom, I can’t feel anymore useless than I do right now. Any money that is spent is my husbands money. I feel guilty spending it on my two other children. I’m alone, I’m sad, I’m confused, I’m tired, I’m angry, I’m un happy overall, I long for a friend to talk to, I don’t enjoy anything anymore. I don’t know what to do. Worse yet, when I drink, these feelings multiply!
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